


The Fall of Loki Laufeyson

by LokiGodOfMischief



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Abandonment, Betrayal, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-14 19:13:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 130,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1277749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiGodOfMischief/pseuds/LokiGodOfMischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is Loki truly the madman that everyone claims he is? Or is he a wounded soul, crying out for acceptance, respect, love? Is it possible that centuries of scorn, hurt and betrayal has transformed him in the monster that everybody thinks he is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Be forwarned; this is primarily the story of Loki before, during and after the movies (as far as we know). However, the Sifki element plays a huge role in the story, the tale is just more than that. All the dialogues and the actions that take place during the movies are canon, the Loki POV is not. Also, all that happens before, between and after the movies is not canon, but I like to believe it is ;). 
> 
> Many readers might be put off by the fact that it is not ONLY a Sifki fic, but to be honest; I can't find myself to bother too much. I had Loki stuck in my mind, the injustice of his life just screaming for a chance to be put on paper, so I took it. When I finish this, perhaps then, the God of Mischief will allow me to rest.

During war, the women mostly stay at home. The Great War was no exception. During its final days, Asgard seemed empty, with all the men fighting on Jotunheim. And so Queen Frigga dutifully awaited the return of her husband and king, Odin. She knew he would be victorious, for she had weaved his future with her spindle. So she waited, and watched her son playing in his box. Thor wasn't even a year old, but he could be as difficult to handle as a herd of bilgesnipes. Right now he was wailing (and what a voice he had) because he had dropped a toy and it was broken. Sighing, she repaired it with her magic and gave it back to him, earning her a broad grin. She mussed up his hair and returned to her spindle, when suddenly the door flew open.

Her husband, Odin Borson, Allfather and king of the Nine Realms, stood on the doorstep. There was a patch over his right eye, where he was hit by an ice blast, and he looked tired, but further he was unharmed. Frigga bowed deep to him. "Welcome home my dear husband. I assume Laufey has been dealt with?"

"Before the very walls of Utgard, we smashed his armies. I defeated Laufey myself, and we took from them the Casket of Ancient Winters. We forced them to agree to a truce. The Great War is over." Hearing her husband's deep voice was almost as soothing to her soul as his words, for the Great War had claimed many a brave soul. Then she noticed the small bundle of sheets that Odin was carrying, almost in the exact shape of a ...

"What is it that you carry in your arms, my love?" she asked hesitantely, "another one of Jotunheim's treasures?"

"In a way" Odin responded, and he handed her the bundle. She drew away the covers and looked straight down in to two beautiful crimson eyes. The baby she held was beautiful, his skin a thousand shades of blue, strange markings all over his body. The baby was watching her, and suddenly, a smile split his face and he gurgeld with pleasure and happiness.

"Oh, he's magnificent," she crooned, "but so small."

"He is the son of Laufey." her husband responded, and she looked at him in shock. "I found him in the temple after the battle. He was abandoned, left to die, probably because he's so small."

"Why did you take him?" she asked warily. "Surely you must realise that your subjects won't take kindly to their king adopting a Frost Giant, after all these years of battle?"

"I know!" was all he said.

"This war has left thousands of young children orphans, but you didn't take them in as well. There is something special about this baby, something you're not telling me." 

"You see the markings on his forehead? They are not regular markings, even for an Jotun royal. This child, this baby, is prophesied by the Norns to be the Destroyer of Worlds, the Ice Prince that will bring about Ragnarok, the Twilight of the Gods." He paused to take a breath, and when he continued, he sounded oddly  _defeated._ "When I found him in the Temple, I knew I had to make a choice; I couldn't leave him there, because if he survived and was raised by the Jotuns, he would inherit their hatred for the Æsir. So I had to either kill him or take him home, make him love the Æsir and us as if we were his own race." He fell silent

"You couldn't kill him." she said softly, and she saw a tear dripping out of his remaining eye.

"I couldn't. I pointed Gungnir at him, ready to finish him, when he looked at me, and he looked at me with wonder and kindness in his eyes, as if he was happy to see me." His voice trailed off.

"And so you took him home." she finished for him.

"Yes." He looked so sad then that she took his hand and squeezed gently

"Don't worry, my love, you did the right thing. We will raise him as our own, we will give him all the love he needs, we will make him feel at home, and thus we avoid Ragnarok itself." She tried to sound optimistic, but it didn't lighten her husband's mood.

"I will try, but remember; as a king, the needs of Asgard are paramount to me, above any personal wishes. If the time comes, I will make the tough decision, for the good of the Nine Realms that I am sworn to protect, even if it means ripping this family apart. Never forget that."

She felt vaguely ill at those words, but when the baby bubbled happily in her arms, she forgot about her fears. For how could a creature so adorable carry such an evil inside him? "The Norns have been wrong before. Most likely they are wrong again." her words trying to reassure herself as much as her husband.

"It shouldn't pose a problem for the succession. Perhaps we could make him king of Jotunheim in time. Yes, that could work!" Odin was talking more to himself now, and didn't paid any attention until she swatted his arm. "What?" 

"If you want him to become a part of our family and an Æsir, we will have to do something about his eyes and skin color. If we leave him like this, people will avoid him, or worse, be hostile. He has to look the part."

Odin didn't respond, but took the baby from her arms and, while rocking him gently, used his seiðr to change his appearence. When he put the baby in the box, his skin was a pale shade of pink and his eyes were ablaze with a green fire. Thor was wary of the intruder at first, but his curiosity triumphed over his restraint and he crawled over to see his new brother, his face a toothless grin. The baby watched him with equal interest, until he yawned and shut his little eyes. Thor lay down next to the baby, put a small arm around him and pulled him in close, also falling asleep. Frigga watched them, and her heart burst with happiness and satisfaction: her family was complete.

"How shall we name him?" Odin asked

"Loki." she answered, "Loki Odinson."


	2. Different

Guards, servants and courtiers alike trailed through the halls and corridors of Gladsheim like ants in their tunnels, but no one saw a small, raven-haired boy of 10 deftly manoeuvering himself through the crowd, or if anyone saw him, they did not care to show. And, to be honest, Loki preferred it that way. No looks of disapproval or barely concealed contempt that he was used to. It was merely his title that kept their scorn at bay, of that he was sure.

Sometimes, he wondered why he had earned such scorn, the injustice of it squirming in his gut, but the answer was perfectly clear for all to see: he was  _different._ Hair as black as night, slender as a reed, and far too clever for his age. Of course, his mischievous nature didn't earn him many fans either (well, Thor laughed, but then again, he always laughed), so he supposed it wasn't wholly undeserved. But his greatest failing, at least to society, was his preference for seiðr. Seiðr practice wasn't uncommon in Asgard by any means, but it was almost solely practiced by women, and therefore labeled a "womanly art". Other races, like the Alfar or even the Jotuns, had deeper connections with the seiðr, and there its practitioners were greatly respected and revered, but for the warloving Æsir, who reveled in battle and all forms of physical exercise, a boy who preferred spells over swords was a weakling and deserved to be spat upon. The only person that Loki felt understood him was his mother, Frigga, herself an expert in the arts of seiðr. She understood that he would rather use his mind than his muscles. Odin, however, had decreed that his son was obliged to attend the daily training sessions, even if it was only the morning session. He had tried to explain that his wit and his mind would one day be more deadly than any sword, but his father had been adamant. 'No son of mine will not be able to defend himself, is that clear?" he had thundered, and Loki had fled before him, as he often did.

And so he went to the training sessions, desperate to win his father's approval, but unfortunately, that also meant subjecting himself to the torments of his fellow trainees, who laughed at the tall, gangly prince as he tried to battle his older brother, who was only a year older but already as muscled as an ox (and about as smart, Loki kept saying) Those battles ended more often than not in the healing rooms, where Eir had to  _reassemble_ him and sent him on his way. Determined to prove himself, he trained harder than any other trainee, and became extremely proficient with daggers and throwing knifes, but it still wasn't enough to gain their respect, for what are daggers if not a coward's weapon? Of late he had begun using his magic to gain an advantage, letting his opponent stumble over some invisible obstacle, or creating illusions of himself to confuse them. Every time Thor thought he had him cornered against a wall or tree and made a lunge at him, simply to discover he wasn't there at all, sending him crashing into what was behind the illusion made them laugh, even Thor, when he was recovered, but when he turned his back he could hear them whisper:  _Coward! Cheater! LIAR!_ He knew he shouldn't let their words hurt him, but they did.

Still absorbed in thoughts, he turned into a corridor that was seemingly abandoned. He rounded the corner and walked straight into a great mass of curly blond hair. Caught off guard, he failed to maintain his balance and crashed forward, taking the mass of hair with him, and together they crashed on the floor.

"Hey, watch where you are going!" a voice cried. A  _girl's_ voice.

"Sorry." he muttered, before scrambling back to his feet. He offered a hand to the girl to help her up (his mother had taught him to always be a gentleman) but she swatted it away and got up by herself. She straightened her skirt and turned a glare at him. She was obviously annoyed, but the only thing he could think about was that she looked pretty when she was angry, her hazel eyes shining like bright stars. She had to be of an age with him, he thought. Then she saw him examinig her, and she narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing." was all he could manage. He saw in her eyes that she didn't believe his lie, and that surprised him. If there was one talent he was always prized about, it was his famous "silver tongue. He could use his words to get out of any situation, or to get someone in a situation, but now, it seemded like his silver tongue had turned to lead, for no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get a word, never mind a believable lie out of his mouth.

"Well, aren't you going to say something?" she interrupted his train of thoughts. When he looked up to her, he saw her jaw tense. Then, an idea hit him.

"I am sorry, i still haven't properly introduced myself: I am Loki, of Asgard. My full name is Loki Odinson, youngest son of Odin Borson, Allfather and king of Asgard and the Nine Realms." He was pleased to see her eyes grow wide, and then she bowed. "Excuse me, my prince, I didn't recognize you, otherwise I wouldn't have spoken so harshly."

"Nonsense," he said, and her brow furrowed in confusion, "I find it quite refreshing when someone is bold enough to speak their mind. This court is filled with enough sycophants as it is."

"You use a lot of difficult words." she mumbled, and he had to laugh.

"Well, I read a lot." he said, and an small unsure smile made its way on her face, and he had never seen a more beautiful thing in his whole life. It made him believe that he was still sleeping, because what are the odds of meeting so magnificent a creature in an otherwise empty corridor. To think about it: what was she doing here? She wasn't moving when he hit her, and stood there for a long time, because he hadn't heard any footsteps. Also, she didn't look like the type to move about with stealth. When he voiced his question to her, her face flushed, and almost shy she pointed at the window. From the window, one had a splendid view over the training grounds, where Thor was currently sparring with a boy called Fandral, who, despite the fact he was only eleven, claimed to be quite the ladies man.  _Thor, of course,_ he thought, and he turned back to the girl, who was also looking out of the window to the grounds with such a longing in her gaze, it made his heart hurt. She sighted, and said, more to herself than to him: "I wish I could join them."

"What?" Of all the things Loki expected to hear, that wasn't one of them. She wanted to become a warrior?

"Ever since I was little, I dreamed that one day, I would become the fiercest warrior this realm has ever seen. I would fight glorious battles, slay monsters and foes alike, my name etched in glory. I wanted to be the first female Einherjar in the history of Asgard." The Einherjar, no less. He had heard of female warriors becoming Valkyries, but so far, no woman had been allowed in the Einherjar, the most prestigious fighting unit in all of the Nine Realms, sworn to protect Asgard and obey its king. 

"Well," he remarked dryly, "you can always take my place in the training sessions. It would free me to pursue my own goals, and I'm sure they wouldn't miss me."

"Why wouldn't you want to train?" she asked, and he searched her face for any trace of mockery, but it held no other expression than pure interest and curiosity. It made him tell things he had never told before, not even to Frigga.

"The other kids make fun of me because I'm not so strong as they are, and I use magic. They call me a coward and a cheater."

"CAN YOU DO MAGIC?" she asked dumbfounded, and her eyes went wide with amazement when he disappeared and reappeared behind her, clearing his throat to give away his position.

"That is amazing! You shouldn't be ashamed of such a talent. I think it would be quite useful in a fight. The other boys are probably too dumb to realise what a help you could be in a battle."

His heart grew three times when she spoke those words. She was the first one, except for Frigga, to see his magic as a gift rather than a curse, and for that he was immensely grateful. And he knew just how to repay her kindness.

"Say, why don't you join me? For sparring? I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

She practically screamed in delight and threw herself in his arms. He wasn't really sure what to do, so he akwardly patted her back a few seconds before she drew away. Except for his mother (and brother, but that didn"t count) no one has ever given him a hug before.

"I apologize, my prince, I forgot my place. I was overcome with joy and it seems...."

"Never mind that, and please, call me Loki!" he cut her off before she could continue.

"As you wish, my... Loki. I am Sif, by the way. Sif Tyrsdottir"

 

 

 

While they were walking towards the training grounds, Sif entertained him with tales of her life as a lady-in-wait for his mother, the Queen, and gave him the latest court gossips. She also told him a bit about her family. Apparently, her father, Tyr, was known as the God of War, and he was one of Odin's staunchest allies. He died a noble death in the last battle of the Great War. His widow and daughter were taken in by the Queen, and they became great friends. So, as soon as she was able, her mother sent her to the palace to become a lady, despite her daughters wish to be a warrior. Loki could understand that, being _different,_ not being that wich everyone wants you to be.

As they stepped outside on the training grounds, they went to the armory to get their protection and practice swords. Loki's armor always seemed to big for him, but he used his Seiðr to transform it to his proportion. Sif already donned her armor, put her hair together in a ponytail and they stepped outside. Thor was the first to notice them:

"Brother!" he called out, "I knew you were bad at this, but not that bad that you had to find a girl just so you can have someone to beat." With one stroke, he had managed to insult them both, and for that he was rewarded with a gale of laughter. Loki clenched his fists and glanced to his side, where Sif had her hand on the hilt of her sword, her eyes shooting daggers at Thor. Then he got a brilliant idea.

"No, Thor, I'm afraid the lady is a bit too much for me to handle. She's so good that there is probably only one person here she can learn anything from." And he laid out the bait.

"Come on now, Loki, you can't expect me to fight a girl? They are made to cook and clean, not fight. The only battle that they face is childbirth. Defeating a girl isn't honorable."

"Isn't childbirth the greatest battle that anyone can ever fight? I think you are just scared, Thor, scared of fighting this girl, because you know she is stronger than you." And his dear oaf of a brother took the bait.

"ME? Scared of some wench? I don' t think so." Turning towards Sif, he said "I accept this challenge, girl. Perhaps, in your defeat, you will learn some valuable lessons" He turned around to get a new training sword. When he was out of earshot, Sif turned and saw Loki smiling.

" _What in Odin's beard do you think you are doing?_ Matching me against Thor? I didn't even get the chance to practice."

"Relax, my lady," his tone was soft and soothing, "you'll do fine. Because you are a girl, Thor will severely underestimate you. Then you have the advantage. Once the shock will wear off, he will fight all the harder, and more desperate, because he doesn't want to lose from a girl. This desperation will make him sloppy, and he will make many mistakes. But more importantly," and he grabbed her shoulders, "you are the Daughter of the God of War. You ARE the Goddess of War. I believe in you and your ability to knock my brother down a peg. And more importantly, I already made several bets in your favor, and I really hate to lose all my money."

She looked at him with a mix of desperation and amusement. She turned around and stalked towards Thor.

The fight was over before Loki even realised it had begun. Thor was lying on the ground, Sif was sitting on top of him, her knees on his arms, pinning him down, her sword at his throat. "Yield! she hissed through clenched teeth, and Thor, for the first time ever, actually _yielded,_ too astounded to do anything else. She stood up at left him, lying down in the dust. She walked over to Loki, who stood on the sideline, a broad grin covering his face. She stopped when she reached him, leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his cheeck, whispered "Thank you!" and left. His cheeck burned where she had kissed him.

Yes, she was something else.  

 


	3. Punishment

Thor was nothing if not a good loser.

Mere hours after his humiliating defeat at the hand of a girl, he was already laughing and cracking jokes about it, going so far as to congratulate her on her victory and to invite her to join more training sessions. Loki, for his part, managed to convince his mother and their trainer to allow her to join the training courses, telling them that it was her life-long dream to become a warrior, just like her father, to fight and die for her home, her kin and her king. Frigga, ever the wise and predictive Queen, dismissed the girl from her service, freeing her to pursue her dreams. Their trainer merely shrugged and said that it was on her head.

And so Sif joined them in their training, and in all of Asgard, you couldn't find a soul that was happier than Sif Tyrsdottir. Her mother gave her her fathers old glaive, and from that moment she was rarely seen without it. Loki found her a shield, light but strong, and he enchanted it himself, charms to ward of danger and to protect its owner. A suit of armor was made especially for her by the finest Asgardian blacksmiths. Looking every inch the deadly warrior goddess she was, she fought with a feral, almost predatory grin plastered on her face, and she fought witch such a ferocity and skill that she became rapidly known as the Lady Sif, Goddess of War and Shieldmaiden of Asgard.

Suddenly, Loki felt himself drawn to the training grounds like never before.

Watching her fight was exciting. Watching her wiping the floor with his brother (wich happened more often than not, because although Thor had great strength and a thirst for battle, he wasn't much for strategy, unlike her, because strategy is an integral part of war) made him chuckle with glee and made his eyes dance with mirth.

Fighting her, however, was nothing short of exhilarating. They circled around each other, searching for weaknesses to exploit. Fighting Thor is mostly a matter of staying out of his reach until he grows frustrated and makes a mistake. Often you could use his own strength against him. Battling Sif, however, was more a battle of the minds than anything else. To defeat her, he had to outsmart her, and though he would never say it out loud, it proved to be harder than he anticipated. She was stronger than him, her agility and strategy matched his own, but he still had his magic. Unlike the other trainees, she encouraged him to use his magic against her, because, on the battlefield, one must use every tool at his disposal in order to survive, and if she learns to defend herself against his magic, it may one day save her live. 

Another remarkable thing about fighting Sif is that it always seemed to end in a draw, neither of them willing to concede defeat, and always finding ways to turn the tables. For the first time in his live, he enjoyed the sparring, and he became more proficient by the day. He taught her how to use knifes and daggers in battle, and insisted she'd always carry one, hidden, in case of an emergency.

Loki thought his father would be pleased with his presence in the yard, that his son finally chose to learn how to defend himself  _properly,_ but when he told Odin about his progress, he didn't seem to care much. He was rather taken in by a bruise on Thors face, a parting gift from his last battle with another trainee, Hogun.

His fathers obvious lack of interest wasn't the only matter that perturbed Loki; Sif befriended Thor. It wasn't unusual for someone to befriend Thor, because his brother was very likeable, with his easy smile, good looks and openhearted and friendly personality (Loki was a bit jealous of his brother, sometimes), but the idea that he would have to share his friend with Thor distressed him more than he would care to admit. He was afraid that he would lose her to him, because, after all, who would choose the second prince, the cursed, lying coward, when you could have the first, the golden boy, the pride of Asgard and Odin, the future king (Thor wasn't the official heir yet, but the favors he bestowed on Thor made his choice pretty clear). Also, Thor was used to getting what he wanted. So there was nothing Loki could do when he watched his brother and HIS friend going away on quests with three boys that fancied themselves mighty warriors. Apparently, he wasn't invited. And so Loki left the training grounds, vowing never to return, and returned to the library, his only friend, the one he had abandoned for someone he thought cared about him. His thoughts turned bitter as he thought about the injustice of the whole situation. She was HIS friend, not Thor's, he saw her first, he believed in her when no one else did, he supported her dream, by Hel, he even aided her in her pursuit of said dream. And now he was cast aside in favor of Thor. Why? Why must Thor have everything and he nothing? Is that fair? Thor is strong, Thor is beloved, Thor will be king of Asgard, why must he take away Lokis only friend as well? He cursed the weakness of his heart, cursed his hope, that there would be someone that would like him, and pushed away his grief. He tried to forget about the situation by burying himself in the old tome about seiðr he just found, and this worked, until..

"I looked for you on the battlefield, but you were not there." the tone wasn't accusatory, but it did have an edge. He turned at her, and for the first time, he smiled without meaning it, and he knew she would see straight through it.

"Well, as you can see," he gestured towards the tome and the scrolls scattered around him, "I've been quite busy. Just like you need a whetstone to sharpen your glaive, I need books to sharpen my mind. It has been quite the productive afternoon, I can assure you."

"Why didn't you come?" she asked, as if hadn't heard his answer. He sighed and said:

"I didn't know I was invited. Nobody asked me anything, and I wouldn't want to be a fifth weel, the dead weight slowing you down, you know." he tried to sound sarcastic, but he couldn't keep a little hurt out of his voice.

"Dammit, Loki, you know that's not true. We care about you.  _I_ care about you. When I didn't see you, I thought you were hurt, or even worse. You are my friend, Loki, and I want you by my side, having my back while I have yours? Who else could I ask? Thor? With his fighting style, he's just as likely to skewer me as well. And the so-called Warriors Three are a lot of talk, but that's it. I  _need_ you, Loki, to keep me safe, so I can keep you safe. You know this, and you just stay home? You abandon me?" her voice was edging towards hysteria.

She's overreacting, Loki thought, but when he looked at her face, he saw hurt and desperation written clearly in her eyes. And for the first time since they had met, he swore he could see tears brimming in her eyes. She was obviously upset, with him, but not just with him. Something else had happened.

"My Lady? " he asked carefully, "you are upset, but not wholly with me, I think. What is the matter?"

"Why would you care?" she scoffed.

"Because I am your friend." he said, and he meant every word, his anger dissipating in mere seconds, " and I care about you. I am sorry for abandoning you, I swear. Now tell me what bothers you."

What she did next was something he would have never expected from the Lady Sif. Unable to control her tears, she threw herself into his arms, latching on to him and pressing her tear-stained face against his chest. He was shocked at first, but then akwardly put his arms around her and held her close, stroking her soft, curly hair.

"It's just ..." her breath hitched and her voice was ragged, "after the battle, I heard Volstagg say that it is a disgrace to allow a girl to fight with the men, and that the sooner I put down my glaive and pick up the needle, the better. A women's place is in the kitchen, not on the battlefield, he said, nevermind that I slew twice as many trolls than him and I'm nut sitting in the healing rooms with a great gash in my forehead." _  
_

Loki felt a burning rage rising like bile in his throat and swore to make this Volstagg pay for upsetting Sif so. Just when her confidence about herself was starting to grow, he had to destroy it.

"Then he is a idiot, my Lady, for you are the greatest warrior I have ever met, and the Einherjar would be fools not to take you. Don't let his comments deter you from your goal. In fact, never give up your dreams for anyone." he tried his best to sound comforting.

"But it isn't just Volstagg." her voice was small. "I hear them whispering behind my back, that my choice to be a warrior brings shame to my family, that it's just a phase, and soon I will grow tired of it, but by then I won't know the proper ways of a lady of the court and I will forever remain an outcast."

"You musn't let their words hurt you, my lady. They are just jealous of you, because you are a unique, special person, kind, funny, brave, beautiful, everything they are not. Believe me, I know how you feel"

"You really do, don't you" she looked him in the eyes and his heart almost broke when she saw the sadness in her eyes, mixed with what he thought genuine affection must look like.

"Are you absolutely certain that you want to become a warrior? That in ten years, you won't change your mind?" he asked, and she looked at him in confusion: was he starting to doubt her as well?

"Yes, of course." she said, voice thick with hurt, and she broke off the hug, turning away from him.

 "Then you must do something drastic, something that will show them you are fully commited to your future as a warrior. But I must warn you, however, that once you go there, you can't come back, so you have to be absolutely certain about it."

She turned to look at his face, and he could see she was intrigued by his advice, and suddenly, a wide grin split her face. She looked at him and said:

"Loki Odinson, I want you to cut my hair!"

 

 

 

"You are sure you want it fully shaved?" he said.

"Yes!" she said exasperated, waiting in the chair while he stood behind her.

"Ok, I will do it under one condition: you will allow me to use my magic to restore the damage, once you have proved your point."

"But...' she tried, but he cut her off.

"That is my condition. Take it or leave it." his voice was firm

"Fine!" she said, conceding defeat. She was silent for a few seconds, and then said: "I knew I should have asked Thor." The words did hurt him, but he knew by her tone that she was joking.

"Then you would be short of head, rather than short of hair." he retorted, and they both laughed. He placed the knife into her hair and started to cut.

 

When he was done, he took a few steps back to admire his handiwork. He did a really good job. Her skull was as clean and smooth, and he hadn't nicked her a single time. She ran her hand over her naked scalp and moaned softly: "It's so smooth." She got up from the chair, turned around and purred: "How do I look?"

"Sincerely? A bit silly, but it suits you, strangely." She beamed at him, grabbed his hand and almost dragged him to the training grounds.

"Let's show it to the others."

 

"Sif! What happened to your hair? Thor all but shrieked, and he stared at her head in disbelief, eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

"Loki cut it!" she said proudly, but Thor must have misheard her, for he turned towards Loki and punched him hard in the face. She could tell that he had broken his nose by the sickening cruch. He stumbled on the ground and Thor threw himself on him, punching his brother as hard as he possibly could. Loki could do nothing else then trying to protect his body from the flurry of fists, but was unsuccesfull.

"YOU.. MISERABLE... WRETCH!" Thor roared at him. "YOU JEALOUS MONSTER! YOU EVIL CREATURE! What kind of sick prank is this? Are you happy now?"

"STOP IT, THOR" she cried, and pulled him away from Loki, who about now looked like he was trampled by a herd of Bilgesnipes. "Loki cut my hear because I asked him to."

"Oh!" was all he said, and he looked at Loki with a gaze filled with guilt. "I am so sorry Loki. Please forgive me. I just thought..."

"I know what you thought." Loki said with difficulty, after spittting out a mouthful of blood. "You just acted before you listened, that's all." He swatted Thor's hand away and got up by himself. His lip was cut and his nose broken, but he seemed relatively unharmed. He used his magic to heal his nose and lip and to clean the blood. Thor turned her gaze towards her once more.

"Why?" was all he asked.

"Because I am tired that people only look at me and see a girl wanting to play with swords. I wanted to show them I am serious, that first and foremost, I am a warrior. By cutting my hair, I hope to prove my dedication, so I can finally put all these rumors to rest."

"Oh... well... mission accomplished, I presume?" he said, but the look he gave Loki was pointed, like he blamed him for her folly. He turned around and walked away.

 

Within a few hours, the whole palace knew that the Second Prince had cut off the Shieldmaiden's golden manes. No matter how much she tried to convince everyone that she had asked Loki to do so, they were determined to believe it was mischief from his part, and for the first time, she understood his bitterness towards the people, who were unable to believe he could do anything good for someone else. So, after a few days, she went to Loki, and she asked him to return her hair, more for his sake then for hers. 

His brow furrowed in concentration, he moved his hands along her scalp, muttering words she couldn't understand. But nothing happened. He cursed and tried again. Still nothing. Eventually, he had to admit that he couldn't give her her hair back with his magic, and he sounded so defeated that she took him in her arms and comforted him.

"I will get you your hair back, Sif, I swear it." he whispered

"I swear".

 

 

The next day, Loki was gone. She searched for him everywhere, in all his favorite hiding places and hidden corners, but she couldn't find him. At dinner, he wasn't there, not that anyone else seemed to notice (except Frigga, of course, she saw everything). He didn(t turn up the next day, or the day after that. A whole week went by and he still wasn't found. 

"If he isn't back by tomorrow, I will scour the Nine Realms to find him" she told herself, and she went to her room to prepare for the trip.

She was packing when she heard a fake-insulted voice coming out of the shadows in one of the corners of her room: "So little faith in me, Lady Sif?" She spun around, and there he stood, a bit paler than before and his clothing was mud-stained and dirty, but otherwise he was as usual. She walked towards him in large strides.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" she all but exploded in his face, "ONCE AGAIN, YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK. I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPEND. YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT, YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU CAN'T JUST SIMPLY leave me! she finished

"I have made a promise, and I would see it fulfilled" he said, and he held out his hand. Her curiosity won from her anger, and she came closer. He held in his hand a thick bundle of long, silver threads. "Are those..."

"Hair forged by the Dwarves of Svartálfheim." he proclaimed proudly, and justly so, because Dwarven-forged artefacts are quite rare and expensive. "Forged by the Sons of Ivaldi themselves. Brokkr and Eitri worked four full days on this." Sif was astounded, for the Sons of Ivaldi were the greatest craftsmen in all the Nine Realms. They had made Gungnir, the Spear of Odin, and Mjolnir, the Hammer of Storms that was kept in the Vaults deep beneath the palace. Something like this was priceless, how did he manage to obtain this? When she voiced her question, he simply shrugged

"I took care of it. Don't worry." She knew he wasn't telling the whole truth, but she let it rest. 

"Ok" he said, and he put the hairs on her head. They were very soft, softer than silk. "Don't worry, my lady, in a few seconds, your hair will be as blond and curly as ever."

"No" she said, "I won't go for blond again. Give it another color. Make my hair black, like yours!"

"Why? Why would you want to do that? They will think you cursed. They will think that I made it black, out of spite, to make you an outcast, like me." he all but spat out the words. Why didn't she understand? He wouldn't condemn her to live like him, on the sidelines, avoided because he was different. 

"You are not an outcast, Loki, you are unique, and I envy your uniqueness. I want to stand out, I want to show to the world that I am different than the other girls, who desire nothing more than to be wooed by some dashing youngling and do nothing but gossip all day. I  _want this,_ Loki, so don't feel guilty about it."

He gave in, of course. After all, it was her choice. He spread his hands over her head and began to chant softly. Sif could  _feel_ the hairs penetrating her scalp, attaching themselves to her. It was a queer feeling, and it itched like crazy, but Loki had warned her not to touch her head while he was busy, lest the hairs attached themselves to her hands. At last, when the itching receded and Loki exclaimed "Done" she opened her eyes and looked in the mirror.

She looked  _good._ Her new hair was sleek and smooth, and it framed her face quite nicely. It went well with her complexion and accentuated her hazel eyes. She could hear, by his ragged breath and barely supressed groan that Loki liked her new hair as well. Mischievous grin in place, she asked seductively:  "Like what you see, my prince?"

"You look.... fine" he managed to regain his control, but his eyes were scanning her body hungrily. Deciding to tease him further, she came in close, whispered in a throaty voice "Thank you, Loki" and gave him a quick peck on his lips, and his face became a very deep shade of red. WIggling her hips, she walked out of the door. 

Loki released the breath he didn't realise he was holding, waited a few seconds before his pants took on their normal shape and walked out of the door. He was sure to suffer for this, but it was worth it.

 

His presence was demanded in the throne room, the guards had said, and he thought it wise not to resist them. After all, he knew he couldn't escape, so he resigned himself to his fate. When they reached the doors to the throne room, another guard opened them, and they walked inside. It seemed the whole court was in attendance. He had preferred otherwise, but it couldn't be helped. He just hoped  _she_ wasn't there. But there she was, standing next to his brother, matching expressions of confusion and fear. Odin sat on his throne, Gungnir in hand, and Frigga on hers, her face regal and serene, but her eyes were filled in horror. And before the stairs stood, as was expected, Brokkr and Eitri.

They walked until they were in the middle of the room, where everyone could see them, right before the throne. His guards forced him on his knees, and he complied. 

"The accused has arrived for questioning" Odin's voice rang. He nodded at Brokkr, who walked towards Loki and held his chin up. 

"Loki Odinson, you are accused of stealing Dwarven artefacts from mine and mine brother's dwellings on Svartálfeim. Do you deny these accusations?"

"No, I do not" he responded with a steady voice, and a murmur went through the crowd.

"Silence!" boomed Odin, and he slammed the foot of his spear on the ground, "Continue."

"You took these artifacts on purpose, fully knowing that they weren't yours to take?"

"I did!"

"And do you have any remorse for your crimes?"

"I don't!"

Brokkr released the grip he had on Loki's chin and turned towards tha Allfather. "The objects he stole from us are invaluable, but they cannot be returned to us, because the binding spell he used is permanent. So we demand the Dwarven punishment for liars and cheaters." The entire throne room was silent, for the Dwarves' punishments were severe, and nobody knew if the Allfather would submit his own son to these tortures. The silence was almost unbearable. Than Odin stood, his face a mask of severity and calmness.

"You are in your right to demand this from me, and prince or not, the law is the law. Loki Odinson, you are found guilty of the crimes of theft and deception, and I, Odin Allfather, hereby condemn you to the punishment that the sons of Ivaldi see fit" 

Now it was Eitri's turn to speak: "Because he stole something invaluable of us, we shall steal something invaluable from him." And he took out of his pocket a long golden thread and a needle. Loki had to swallow when he saw it. 

Only when Brokkr tilted Loki's head once more did the rest of the court understand the punishment. Thor roared in outrage, held back only by the Warriors Three, Frigga had her face buried in her hands, Odin's face was devoid of emotion, certainly not compassion, but it was Sif he was looking at. He caught her gaze and saw the horror in her eyes, mingled with tears she desperately tried to hold back, and he smiled at her, trying to reassure her, to tell her it would be alright, when a white-hot pain announced that his lips were pierced for the first time. And then another, and another. He couldn't scream, the tears of pain streaming down her face as his mouth was sewn shut. By the fifth time, he was slowly drifting into unconsciousness, but he could still hear the laughter from the people when the Prince of Lies, the Trickster God got what he deserved.

 

After he was paraded through the streets, so everyone could see the shame and suffering of the second prince, he was released, and he fled to his room. There, unsurprisingly, Sif was waiting for him with a small knife. Forcing him to sit on the end of the bed, she used her knife to cut through the wire, wich proved stronger than he thought. Her face was wet from the tears, her gaze filled with such pity that he wanted to cry himself, only he couldn't, because he had no tears left. Everytime a whire was cut, she whispered "I am so sorry." and when she was done, she picked up the pieces in threw them into the fire with such ferocity that he thought that they would fly through the walls. He was forbidden to heal the wounds with magic, so he used a spell to dull the pain instead. He looked into the mirror, and when he saw the red ruin of his mouth, he almost threw up. He turned around. He tried to smile apologetically, but it made his lips burn with pain, so ceased his efforts. 

She took him by the hand and sat him in a chair. There was some soup on the table, and she fed him, because his hands were shaking so badly that the spoon couldn't reach his mouth when he held it. When he was finished, he tried to thank her, but she cut him off by throwing herself in his arms, crying again.

"I don't know what I have done to deserve you." she sobbed, "I have given you no end of trouble, and still you help me, still you support me. You even take punishments that should be mine." 

"You are worth it" he croacked. "That's what friends do, isn't it?"

"You are my friend. You are the best friend anyone could have, and the others are fools if they don't see it." She looked into his green eyes, leaned in and softly pressed her lips against heis. He was to shocked to respond at first (why would anyone kiss lips that are in such a horrible state? Scrap that, why would anyone kiss  _him?_ ) But then he kissed back, and stroked the back of her head softly. It was a chaste kiss, but it send shivers down his spine nontheless.  _I am kissing Sif,_ shot through his head.  _No, correction, Sif is kissing me._

After a few seconds, they broke apart, both flushed. "Thank you for everything!" she whispered, and then she was gone, so suddenly it made him wonder if she was there in the first place. But when he turned his gaze towards the bed, he saw a smill knife lying on the covers. He picked it up and felt its edge: razor sharp. And than it hit him

He was in love with Sif.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Norse mythology, Brokkr and Eitri/Sindri are not the sons of Ivaldi, whose names are unknown, but in this universe, they are. (sue me, ancient Nords)


	4. In love?

_""Loki, there is something i want to tell you. Something I haven' t said to anyone before."_

 

***

"Don't be late!" Frigga had warned.

He stood inside his chamber, examining the new armor set that he had received for the occasion. It suited him. Black leather with touches of green, golden plates with snake motives (how fitting) on his arms and shoulder, and an enourmous green cloak of the finest fabric. To top it all off, a golden helmet with a set of gigantic curved horns. Looking in one of his mirrors, he grinned; he certainly looked impressive, so long as people did not mistake him for a cow, that is. The blacksmith had given him a queer look when he specified the exact design, but the result was astounding.  _Like a king._

His door opened and a gale of laughter echoed through his room.

"Well well, look who is playing dress-up. You're lucky that I didn't bring a bow with me, in case I mistook you for a stag." Her eyes were brimming with amusement.

"Thank Yggdrasil then. I think shooting me and serving me for dinner would rather ruin the mood for the evening, don't you?"

"Probably!" she laughed, "how are you feeling?"

"Never better!"

"You do know that I can tell when you are lying, right? You are nervous. You have every right to be nervous. It's a big night, after all."

He nodded; that it was. After today, his life,  _their_ lives, would never be the same. If he was honest, he was nervous, and although he knew that the chances of him being surprised tonight were very slim, there was still a chance. 

"Coming?" she beckoned towards the door. "If we are late, your mother is likely to boil us alive."

The corners of his mouth twisted slightly upwards, but when they left his room, his gaze turned serious again. He leaned towards her and whispered: "You look beautiful tonight, my lady. I daresay that you will have many admirers tonight. I hope that you are in the mood for dancing, for they will not grant you a moment of respite."

"I am a warrior. Let them come, I've faced worse and lived."

"That you have. But I don't think we are allowed to slay potential suiters." She punched him for that, but she was smiling. They fell into a companionable silence. He didn't felt the need to talk, but drew strength from her presence.

When they neared the throne room, he felt his heartbeat quickening. This was it. He swallowed, briefly considering to run away, but he was an Odinson, and Odinsons do not run (at least, according to Thor).  _They are allowed to preform a strategic retreat_ , he thought, but Sif seemed to have spotted his doubt, because she gripped his shoulders firmly "No running away tonight, Loki. I am tasked to bring you here and  _keep you here,_ got it?"

""Nice friend you are" he scoffed, but she just smirked at him and opened the doors to the throne room. It was already filled with people, Odin and Frigga were there as well, but as expected, Thor was nowhere to be seen. A herald announced him to the court:

"Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard, second son of Odin Borson." All went silent and bowed for him, more out of respect for his title than for him, no doubt. A shame that the herald didn't had the courage to proclaim the many titles the good people of Asgard had given him.  _Trickster. Liesmith. God of Mischief and Lies._  But he was a prince, so he held his head high as he walked towards the throne, politely nodding  and making all the gestures and formalities that were expected from him. When they reached the centre of the throne room, he remained while Sif went to stand by the Warriors Three. He bowed deeply before his father, who acknowledged his presence with a nod, and to his mother as well, who smiled warmly at him. 

Then there was silence.

The ceremony couldn't continue without Thor, and Thor was always fashionably late, so they could do nothing but wait for him. While he waited, he couldn't help but think about the last time he stood there, on the exact same spot. Even after all those years (he was a century old now, a grown man, not some 60-year old adolescent), the scars were still visible, that is, if he didn't use his Seiðr to mask them, and sometimes, he could even feel the needle piercing his lips, sewing them shut. He shuddered at the memory.

Thankfully, distraction came in the form of his brother. Wearing his steel plate chestguard over his chainmail, a giant red cloak billowing as he strode forwards, his feathered helmet resting easily on his head, he looked every inch the hero that the Midgardians tales painted him to be. Smiling jovially at the people, waving and laughing, Loki could hear more then one girl sighing heavily. Such stupidity, he thought. Even if Thor showed any interest in any of them at all, he would have forgotten her name by the next morning. When he passed the Warriors Three, he grinned broadly at them. He winked at Sif, who smiled and nodded at him, but Loki could swear her face was slightly flushed. Then Thor reached him and greeted him in the only way Thor could: loud and obnoxious. Loki returned the greeting, a bit less sincere, perhaps, but Thor didn't seem to notice it.  _But, then again, there are a lot of thing he doesn't notice._

"Allfather" Thor said, and he bowed deeply, " Excuse me for my lateness. Assembling this armor was no easy task. Luckily, I had ... assistance." The crowd chuckled."

"You are forgiven." Odin said, gazing fondly at his firstborn. Loki hadn't failed to notice Odin's reaction, and it send a dagger through his heart. If he would have been late, he would have been scolded before the entire court, but Thor is forgiven. Thor is always forgiven, for every stupidity he has ever done, most of wich caused more harm than Loki's pranks.

"Now Thor is here, we can begin with the ceremony." Odin nodded at them, and they went on their knees before him, bowing their heads.

"For many a century I have ruled as king of Asgard and protector of the Nine Realms. But even I, Odin Allfather, am not unaffacted by the flow of time. Governing the Nine Realms is tiresome work at the best of times, and I find myself needing prolonged periods of rest more often."

This announcement was met by silence. Did he mean he ....? Does this mean that...? Loki could hear the people whispering behind him, but his eyes remained fixed to the floor."

"Thor Odinson, rise!" his father demanded, and Thor rose. "For many a year now, I have watched you. You've grown into a good man, a great warrior and a natural leader. You are beloved and respected by all, you are bold and fearless, and I could not think of any other man that could inherit my throne. Thor Odinson, I hereby officially proclaim you my heir. From now on you shall be known as the Crown Prince of Asgard"

The crowd cheered, the Warriors Three shouted their congratulations, and Loki remained on his knees, eyes fixed to the floor, waiting for his father to address him.

"Furthermore," Odin's voice boomed above the loud cheering, "I have a gift for you." He held out his hand, and out of nowhere, a hammer flew into his outstreched fingers. He gave the hammer to Thor. "This is Mjolnir, forged by Brokkr and Eitri out of the heart of a dying star. It has the power to command storms, and can only be wielded by it's owner. It is a fit weapon for a king." Thor mumbled his thanks, so caught up was he by his new toy, admiring the exquisite craftsmanship.

"That would be all." Odin proclaimed. "Now, a great feast shall be held in honor of our new Crown Prince." And with those words, he swept out of the room. Noisily, the rest of the court began to follow him, and the Warriors Three and Sif went straight to Thor's side, admiring his new weapon. Soon, the only one left in the throne room was Loki, still sitting on the floor, still staring at his knees, now trying to fight back his tears.

He never expected Odin to choose him. He dreamt about it, sure, but if he was realistic, he knew he never stood a chance, not against Thor. But still, to hear his father proclaim these words broke his heart. He knew Odin favoured Thor, but he didn't even glance at his second son, not so much as an apologetic look. No, he had outright ignored him. Just as everyone else. 

_Could not even think about another man that could inherit my throne,_ Odin had said. Wich means he wasn't even considered. Then what was this entire ceremony for? Do humiliate him in court? Again?

_You're not good enough. You're not good enough. You're not good enough,_ a voice inside his head kept insisting, a voice that sounded exactly like his father. He couldn't control himself anymore and started crying quitly, his tears dripping of his chin and falling on the floor. He had a pretty good idea how he must look like, still sitting on the floor, abandoned and forgotten by everyone, the epitome of defeat. 

_You"re not good enough. You are never good enough. You will never be good enough._

Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder, a woman's hand.  _Sif,_ he thought instantly, but when he lifted his gaze, he saw his mother, smiling a rueful smile. She got on her knees and wrapped her arms around him. He desperately clung to her, fearing that she would leave him as well? 

_"Why?"_ he thought, " _why does he do this to me? Why didn't he even consider me? Does he even love me? If so, why does he humiliate me so? Why does he chooses Thor on every occasion? Why am I not good enough?"_

It seemed that Frigga could hear his thoughts, or otherwise could understand what was going through her son at the moment, because she stroked the back of his hair soothingly. "Your father loves you, Loki, just as Thor and I, never doubt that."

"Then why?" His voice chocked., "why wasn't I even considered? If he loves me, why did he humiliate me so? He proclaimed Thor Crown Prince and gave him Mjolnir, and he didn't even look at me, let alone offer me any concolation? An apology? Any sign THAT HE CARES ABOUT ME AT ALL?"

"He just thinks you are better suited to other tasks. Besides, you will be Thor's most trusted advisor, and you will rule this realm as much as him. You were never one to stand in the forefront, Loki."

"I just thought.... because he chose Thor.... that he.... loved... him better" He sounded unsure. Could it be that? That he believed that Odin chose Thor because he loved him more? That he only wanted the throne so he wouldn't feel less loved?

"Come on, silly, we have a feast to go to. Your absence would be missed." she coaxed him out of his shell, and when she saw the tiniest hint of a smile appear on his face, she pulled him on his feet and walked with him towards the dining halls.

 

"BROTHER! There you are! We were worried." his voice was thick with genuine concern. For that, Loki managed the tiniest smile on his face while he congratulated Thor, albeit stiffly, with his new status and weapon. Thor thanked him with a grin and pulled him down in the seat next to him.

"Loki, when I am king, I want you there by my side. I am not good with words, and I'm afraid I don't have the patience for it. You must be there to prevent me from doing anything stupid, and together, my brother, we will make Asgard flourish like never before."

He did felt slightly better after that, and he found out he actually enjoyed the evening, much to his surprise. He also saw Sif looking at him and smiling, wich put him in a considerable better mood. So good even, that when it was his turn to spin a tale, he managed to not insult or humiliate anybody, wich was a spectacular feat for him. He saw Sif and Frigga smiling at him, and even Odin nodded with approval.

_Perhaps,_ he said to himself,  _things will turn out for me this time._  

*****

After a few hours, he made his excuses and left for his room, despite loud protests from Thor, who was pretty "hammered" by now. When he left the room, he felt Sif's gaze on his back, and he smirked. And indeed, half an hour later, there was soft knocking on his door. He opened it and Sif swept in. She looked amazing in her red silken dress that clung beautifully to her curves. He could see a lot of leg and the dress was cut exceptionally low. At dinner, he found that he had to use every inch of his not unimpressive amount of self-restraint not to ogle her. But now they were in private, and he couldn't help but sneak a few peeks. 

"I just wanted to tell you that I am proud of you." she declared. "I know today wasn't easy for you, and you have every right to be angry at Odin, but you didn't resent Thor, and that was a very noble thing to do. You would have made a fine king, but now, with Thor on the throne and you behind him, telling him what to do, you will be unstoppable. Your reign will be so great that bards will describe it in song as the Golden Age of Asgard. You are a good man, Loki Odinson, no matter what everyone says. You are a good man, a good brother and a good friend. The best of friends, actually."

Loki just smiled and conjured two glasses of wine, giving her one and sitting on the edge of his bed. Sif went to sit next to him and put her hand on his knee. But suddenly, she blushed and looked away?

"Sif? What is the matter?"he asked?

"Nothing?" she responded, but her face told an entirely different story.

"Sif, I am your friend, you can trust me? Tell me what's going on? Please?" he beseeched her.

"Very well then." she turned to face him. "Loki, there is something i want to tell you. Something I haven' t said to anyone before. _"_

He nodded, unable to speak, a lump in his throat. _Where was she going with this? She's not....? No, she can't be....?_

"I think..."

_Oh Great Mother Yggdrasil, it's happening._

_"_ I'm in love..."

_That's impossible. This is unbelievable. This is..._

"With Thor."

...

...

...

CLANG!


	5. Love's a b*tch

"Loki? Are you all right?" a voice called out, and then someone grabbed him, shaking him roughly. His view became clearer, and he could see the ceiling of his roof, and Sif hanging over him, concerned.

"Yes, I am... quite all right." he coughed, "It must be the wine. I think I had quite my fill tonight." Even to his own ears, that lie sounded weak, but even if she didn't believe him, she didn't show it. Instead, she sighed and sat back on the bed.

_She"s in love with Thor,_ flashed through his head, and he felt vaguely ill at the thought. Still, she looked depressed already, so he didn't act on his urge to gag. "So..;" he faltered, "Thor?"

"I know!" she laughed hollowly, "how cliché. The Lady, waiting for her Prince to come and swoop her away. Gods, I hate myself at times."

He still stood before her, akwardly, not sure if he should run or sit next to her. But, as it turned out, he couldn't move even if he wanted to.

"I always felt a certain attraction to him, sure, but at the time I thought it was just a silly infatuation, a remainder of my days as a lady-in-waiting, so I waited for the feeling to subside, only..." She hesitated.

"It didn't." Loki finished for her, still trying desperately to keep the pain out of his voice and the tears out of his eyes. He had already cried enough today to last a millennium. And he was sure that it wouldn't help Sif either, as she was in dire need of comfort.

She nodded. "Tonight, when he came in the throne room, he looked so  _handsome,_ in his armor, with his helmet, and when he winked at me, it was like we were the only ones in the room, nay, on Asgard. I knew that moment that I was in love with him.

Luckily, she was still staring at her hand, folded in her lap, otherwise she would have seen the impact her words had on him. It was like every word was a slap in his face, a stab in his heart, and he wanted nothing more that to rip that infernal organ out of his body and shred it to pieces. He couln't bear the hurt anymore. 

"But... he hardly sees me, and when he does, not in the way that I want him to see me." A single, solitary tear made his way down her cheeck, and despite the deep hurt he was feeling, he had pity on her. After all, he knew the feeling of unrequited love quite well. 

"It seems my plan has exploded in my face. I was so determined to prove that I was a warrior first, woman second, that they must have forgotten the second part."

"Then remind him" he told, although inside him a battle was raging. 'Thor thinks of you as a friend, a companion, something akin to a sister. Remind him that you are more than that, that you are Sif, a woman who is desperately in love with her prince."  _The wrong one,_ his mind added.

"You are right." she said, suddenly beaming at him. "You are absolutely right. I can still fix this. I will show him I am a woman, and then he will notice me, and then.." she couldn't finish her sentence, because she went into a fit of giggles. When she was finished, she threw her arms around him, pulling him close and resing her head on his shoulder/ 

"Thank you for your advice, Loki. I am so glad that you are my friend. I don't know what I have done to deserve you, and how I can possibly repay you for all you have done."

"Be happy!" he whispered. "Just be happy!"

 

 

The following morning, he rose early. Although, rose? He hadn't slept at all last night, the pain in his chest making it difficult to breathe, and the raging battle of emotions inside him didn't help either. So, when he decided that sleep would probably keep eluding him, he climbed out of his bed. He went to the basin in his bathroom to freshen up, and then he used his Seiðr to put on his clothes. It was easier and saved him a formidable amount of time. He went to the door, conjured shadows around him to keep him hidden and left. He stalked through the corridors until he reached the training grounds. Perhaps the practice dummies would help to keep his mind from wandering. He began to shoot spells at a particulary large dummy, the seiðr humming through his veins. It started out like a regular practice round, but when he used his magic to make the dummy look like Thor, it soon became more vicious.  _Thor_ , he thought as he hit the dummy in the face with a fire spell, scorching the left half.  _Thor,_ he thought when he hit it in the groin with an ice spike. He knew his brother couldn't help it, that Sif falling in love with him wasn't his doing, but it felt so damn  _good._

_Why? Why does he get everything and I nothing? He already got the throne, he already got father's love, why does he need to have Sif as well?_  The rage inside him was mounting until he could not control himself any longer, and it exploded in a fit of rage and an outburst of his seiðr, and when the smoke settled, there was nothing left of the practice dummy. It was completely destroyed, ripped to pieces, whiped from existence. A few loose pieces of straw and a few burning pieces of wood were all that remained. 

_And they say that magic is for women,_ he thought dryly as he studied the remains of his vanquished foe. Still, his outbreak caused most of his tension to be released, so he could at last think clearly. Obviously, a part of him was very upset that Sif chose Thor over him, but to be honest, he hadn't exactly told her how he felt, so strictly speaking, she wasn't betraying him or hurting him on purpose. Thor, no matter how hard he sought, was also free of blame. But what was he supposed to do? He wanted Sif for himself, and he would not like to see her with Thor. But on the other hand, he loathed to see her sad and hurt, and he wanted her to be happy. So, if he had to choose between her with him and unhappy, or her with Thor and happy, he chose the latter. Her happiness was paramount to him, so he would support her no matter what. Her friendship was the most valuable thing in the world to him, and so he would help her in any way he could.  _If you really love someone,_ he thought,  _you want her to be happy, even if it's not with you._ He wondered where he had picked that up. Some book most likely. But then again, he wasn't the kind of man to read crappy poetry.

 

****

As hard as he tried, however, he couldn't help but resent Thor a little for having Sif's love. So he acted a little cooler against his brother, made more jests at his expense, and his taunts now sometimes had an edge of cruelty and malice. Of course, if anyone would hear it, he would have put it down as mere jealousy about the whole successor- issue. After all, the Allfather had just openly expressed his preference for his oldest son, so it was to be expected. Loki didn't bother to counter the rumors; he would rather have them think it was just a petty jealousy, rather than having them know he loved Sif but she loved Thor.

The resentment he felt towards Thor, however, was nothing compared to the sheer pity he felt towards Sif. No matter how hard she tried to be noticed by Thor, his eyes always wandered. He was starting to notice girls, but unfortunately, Sif wasn't one of them. His heart broke when he saw her trying to talk with him (she was wearing a  _very_ revealing dress, and he hadn't been able to keep his eyes of her for the entire evening), only to lose his attention when a very well-equipped servant girl passed by. She desperately tried to regain his attention, but when Thor pulled the girl on his lap and whispered something in her ear, causing her to start giggling and flushing heavily, she knew the battle was lost. With eyes slightly red, she made her excuses and almost fled from the hall. Thor, too busy with his next conquest, didn't even notice. He sighed, stood up and made his excuses as well. She was his friend, if nothing else, and he hated to see her sad, so he was determined to cheer her up. When his excuses fell upon deaf ears, he scoffed.  _Why even bother? It doesn't matter to them if I'm here or not._ Thor with his latest victime, Fandral eyeing a few pretty girls himself, Volstagg eyeing the boar's leg on the platter in front of him and Hogun..., well, he was Hogun. You could never now if he cared or not. Loki prized himself for his ability to keep his face an emotionless mask, but really, he could learn a thing or two from the man. So he turned his heels and left the hall.

When he reached her room, he knocked softly, and when she didn't answer, he opened the door. She wasn't there. Of course, that would be the first place anyone would come look for her. So he went to the training grounds, but she wasn't there either. He searched every likely place (he even went so far as to go to the library, because  _no one_ that knew her would think to search for her there) and eventually, he just gave up. Evidently she didn't want to be found. Perhaps it was better so, he needed time to think anyway. He stopped at his room to collect one of his books, and then went to visit one of his secret haunts. It was in the forest, just outside the palace grounds. In the forest, there was a beautiful meadow that ended in a small cliff overseeing a lake. It was one of his favorite places in all of Asgard. He came there often, if he wanted to be alone, if he was hiding or practicing magic, away from accusing eyes. If he was there, he felt truly at peace, and that was exactly what he needed right now. So he made his way through the tick wood, taking the hidden paths he had discovered and he alone knew about. The air in the forest was thick, and it didn't carry any sound, so it was always eerily quiet. But when he reached the meadow, he heard a quiet sob. He glanced at the clif, and there she was. Her legs hanging over the cliff, her shoulders hunched, she was crying quietly. 

Of course, why didn't he think of that. He had showed Sif this spot long ago, wanting to share this secret with her, and having a place just for the two of them. He felt a rush of affection for her when he realized that from all the spots she could go to, her room, the training grounds, even the Observatory where her half-brother Heimdall stood vigil over Asgard and the galaxy, she chose this spot,  _their_ spot, to come to.

He didn't know if she heard him approach, but when he sat next to her and hesitantly put his arm around her shoulder, she gave no hint of surprise. She just leaned in and let her head rest on his shoulder. He didn't say anything, and neither did she, but there was no need to: his presence was clearly enough. So he just held her close, letting her weep on his shoulder, gently stroking her hair. He didn't know how long they sat there, but the moon was already beginning to disappear when she gently pulled back from the hug, said  _thank you_ with her eyes and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. Without saying anything else, she left. Loki didn't follow her. She had just given him something entirely new to think about.

 

***

It quickly became a routine; SIf continued to batter her eyelashes at Thor, hoping that he would finally notice her, Thor happily continued to sleep with the intire court, from noblewoman to serving wench, except Sif, and he continued to comfort her whenever she needed it. After a while, no matter how much pain her sadness caused him, he started to look forward to these moments, just holding her close, comforting her, smelling that unique scent that was entirely SIf, wrapping his long arms around her body, thinking how good she actually fitted in his arms. These were the moments he felt closest to her, like they were connected in a way, both loving someone that would never love them back. In a way, she comforted him just as much as he her. He desperately wanted to tell her how he felt, wanted to make her forget Thor, that he was there, and that was all that mattered. He didn't, though. How would she respond? Would she laugh at him? Yell at him? Would she feel like he was betraying her trust, trying to take advantage of her grief? The latter, probably, and then she would get angry, storm off and he would never see her again, never again be able to hold her, and that thought was more than he could handle.

This night was different, he somehow felt. It was the night of Sif's birthday, and she hoped that tonight, she would be able to get his undivided attendance. Her plan, however, was foiled by a newcomer. In light of rekindling their old alliance with the Æsir, the Vanir had sent envoys to Asgard, and with them was Freyja, the Goddess of Love, Sexuality and Beauty, and, even Loki had to admit, her beauty was unmatched by any Æsir noblewoman. So when Sif saw Thor asking the Vanir Goddess for a dance, she didn't looked sad or dissappointed, but outright furious. When she stormed off, people were gazing at her and Thor looked confused, like a newborn babe. Loki conjured an illusion of himself to sit at the table in his place (he was really getting better, it could even talk to people and answer questions, and as long as nobody touched it, it would remain stable until he lifted it) and hurried after her. In this state, she was liable to hurt herself, or any creature that would get in her way. He was relieved when he saw that the forest was still whole; she hadn't tried to burn it down yet. When he reached the meadow, she wasn't actually sitting on the edge of the cliff, she was busy using her glaive to reduce a centuries-old tree to kindling.

"That... bastard!" she hissed through clenched teeth, and she threw her glaive on the ground. Then, she sat down with a huff, her eyes thundering like even Mjolnir never could.

"I really must apologize for my brother, my Lady. He's obviously drunk, and he isn't the most perceptive even when he is sober. Though I am quite sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings." he consoled, and he sat himself next to her.

"It isn't that." she complained. "It's just... I wanted him to notice me so bad, I even tried to change who I was. I'm wearing dresses most of the time now. Dresses, for crying out loud." she said it like she was disgusted of the mere thought. "I changed who I am, for him. But it does not matter. He doesn't want me. I'm not good enough. I will never be good enough." tears welled up in her eyes, and he decided he had seen her cry enough.  _No more,_  he thought,  _I will do everything in my power to make her laugh again. And I don't want her to think she's not good enough._

"That's not true. You are good enough. You are beautiful, smart, funny, brave, kind, loving, exceptional in every way, and my brother is a stupid oaf for not realizing what he is throwing away. You, not good enough. You are  _better_ than all the others, you are an amazing person, and anybody would be lucky to have you. And never, _never_ change yourself again for a man or for any other person. You are who you are, and people should accept and love you as such. And if Thor doesn't see that, then you are  _too_ good for him."

She looked at him, tears clinging to her eyelashes, her eyes dark with.... something he couldn't quite define. "You really do mean that, don't you?" she asked, and she moved her face closer to his.

"I do."

She didn't say another word, but grabbed his head with both her hands and kissed him.

 

 

 


	6. Love & Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains adult content. Minors, be warned

Suprise didn't come easily to Loki, but Sif seemed determined to prove him wrong. As she pressed her lips firmly against his, he was paralyzed with shock.  _She was kissing him._ Sif was kissing him. The mere thought was enough to turn his world upside down, but he couldn't respond. Surely this was a mistake? Surely she couldn' mean this?

When she pulled back, eyes questioningly, he stammered: "But... Thor... you...? What in Hels name are you doing?"

She smirked; she did always like to make the second prince lose his words. "Forget about Thor." she whispered huskily in his ear, softly biting his earlobe and pressing small kisses against his neck and jawbone. Still, he couldn't wrap his mind around it. "SIf..." he strangled out, and he couldn't suppress a moan when she planted her teeth in his neck, sucking greedily on the flesh, leaving a red mark. Then, she put her finger over his lips, softly caressing them. "Quiet now, my dearest, I have a better use for your silver tongue." And then she clamed his mouth again with hers, and this time, he did respond. He leaned in, put his hands on the back of her head to pull her in closer and opened his lips, allowing her tongue to ravish his mouth. She tasted of mint and a hint of lemon and it was glorious. She nibbled on his bottom lip, and then suddenly, she bit down hard, and he grunted, tasting his blood.

Her lips still on his, she began to fumble at his clothes. He could make it easier for her by using his magic, but he so loved to tease her.But then, she began to tug impatiently, and for a moment he feared that she would just rip them in two, but finally managed to pull of his shirt. Her hands moved over his skin like they were spiders, and she moved her face to kiss his chest and stomach. In this position, he was able to release her from her dress, and so he did, his initial restraints forgotten the moment she lifted her eyes and stared right into his, her pupils wide and dialated, indicating her obvious arousal. His own arousal became clear when he felt his trousers becoming tighter by the second. With a swift mouvement, he toppled her over, so he was now on top, and he began to feast on the delicious banquet that was her body. He pressed kisses on stomach and chest, took one of her nipples in her mouth and sucked greedily. Sif breathed his name in response, and it was the most arousing thing he had ever heard. She tilted his head back up and kissed it with all the passion and desire she could muster. When they finally broke the kiss, they were both panting.

Loki moved his attention downwards again, and he put his hand on her silken-clad quim. She was already dripping wet, he could tell. But he decided to tease her more. He settled between her thighs and began to kiss her shins, only slowly working his way up. She bucked impatient, but, with a devilish smirk, he continued to torture her. Finally, when he couldn't control himself anymore, he ripped the undergarment of her cunt and gave it one, slow, torturous lick, and she cried out in pleasure. Then, his tongue found her center and began to suck it into his mouth, and he put a finger inside of her, and then another, and another. Her heels dug in his waist and her hands were locked against the back of his head, pulling him even closer. It didn't take long before her orgasm hit her, and her body exploded while she was shouting his name. He got up from between her legs and kissed her once more, allowing her to taste herself.

Then, she noticed he still had his trousers on, and pulled them down in one swift motion. She flipped them over once more, so she sat on top. Then, she lowered herself on him, burying his shaft deep in her cunt. He moaned loudly as the thight warm wetness engulfed him, and she began to move at a steady rythm. Soon, as his climax began to grow, he moved his hips in sync with her, and he knew that he couldn't last much longer, but neither could she, he saw. But he vowed to himself that he woudln't be undone before her, and so he clenched his teeth, trying to maintain his control as long as possible. But then she came in close and whispered "Loki" in his ear, and he came there and then, and it felt amazing. He put his hand between them, and after a few quick strokes, she came as well. She cried out in pleasure and fell forwards, her breasts pressing against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder, breathing on his neck. He never loved her more as in that moment, when everything just felt  _right._ He just held her there, watching her head rise and fall with his chest, her hair splayed all over him, softly kissing her head. After a while, he could hear her snoring softly, and, with a smile on his lips, fell asleep as well.

 

When he woke up, she was gone. He stood up, used his seiðr to redress himself and he left as well. His thoughts were racing inside his head.  _Of course, you fool, of course she is gone? What did you expect? That one night with you could make her forget the feelings she has for Thor. This was desire, desire and the need for someone to take her. She doesn't love you. She loves Thor, always Thor. She's probably hiding, ashamed, for who would want to sleep with Loki the Trickster, the Quicksilver Prince, the Liesmith, the Accursed? She used you to forget about Thor._ He cursed his mind for spinning those tales, even if he knew them to be true, and he cursed his heart for caring. Really, he could not imagine the greatness he could achieve is that damn organ wasn't there to hold him back.

 

****

In the following weeks, he did not speak with Sif. After the night they spent together, he wasn't sure how to approach her. And, it was clear she didn't want to speak with him.She often left as he entered the room, avoided his gaze deliberately. She was avoiding him, and that hurt most of all.  _It was a mistake,_ he thought,  _she was vulnerable and I took advantage of that. I should have just pushed her away, but I didn't, and now I have ruined our friendship._ That thought made him feel hollow and empty. He had ruined the only true friendship he ever had. He readjusted his mask of indifference that he had perfected decades ago, as to not show his tormentors how much their taunts actually hurt him. Feelings, he thought, are very dangerous, capable of making or destroying someone. So, he kept them at bay, so they could never hurt him.

Sif, on the other hand, seemed determined to act as if nothing happened. She continued to be Thor's shadow, his trusted right hand; you could not see the one without the other. People started to notice their closeness, and smiled warmly: evidently those two were destined for the other, maybe they just did not know it yet.  _Well,_ Loki contemplated,  _at least one of them doesn't know it yet._ He never ceased to be amazed about his brother thickheadness. Sif was his friend, his companion, and he loved her like a sister, and he didn't realize she wanted to be more. 

A few weeks later, at yet another feast (the Æsir were a festive folk, after all) Thor once again spectaculary failed to notice Sif, who looked at him with eyes full of longing, grief and desperation as he once again flirted with yet another pretty girl. As usual, SIf made her excuses and stormed off. More by routine than by conscious thought, he rose and followed her. He was at the edge of the forest when he realized that she might not want him there, after he took advantage of her grief and need for affection the last time. So, with a heavy heart, he turned around and went for his room instead, hoping to find solace in one of the tomes he recently found in the library. 

He was sitting in his favorite chair by the window, reading and making notes. The moonlight bathed his room in a strange glow.  _How fitting,_ he mused. Of late, he had begun to compare himself with the moon, and Thor with the sun. The sun was cherished, the moon was not. The moon was one with the night, and the sun-loving Æsir feared the night. The moon gave light, but it wasn't it's own light, it was a reflextion of the sun's light. And so it was with him, he was only Thor's brother, the strange, quiet, eerie one. Then, a cloud blocked the moon from sight. Typical as well: you could see the light of the sun, even while hidden, but when the moon is hidden, all is dark, and the monsters come out to play.

His thoughts were interrupted when his door slammed open. He was startled, and he didn't like that.  _Note to self: install wards to warn of coming intruders._ Then, the cloud passed, and his room was once again bathed in moonlight, and he could see the intuder, the one foolish enough to breach his sanctuary. His tongue was already prepared to lash out, but the words died in his throat as he saw who it was.

It was Sif, and she was angry.

She reached him in three large strides and threw herself on him, her mouth fused with his. Compared to this one, her previous kisses were soft and tender; this was more a clashing of teeth than anything else, and she pulled at his bottom lip with such force that he was afraid she wanted to rip it off.

"SIf." he said as he freed his mouth, and he grabbed her by the shoulders to push her away, but she only clung harder to him. "Shut up." she hissed, "shut up, shut up, shut up." and she punched him in the stomach, making him grunt and gasp for air, before she grabbed his hair, tugged painfully and guided him towards the bed. There, she snaked her arms around his chest, locked her legs aroud his waist and let herself fall on the bed, pulling him with her. After that, he found it very hard to resist. He should have known; the Lady Sif takes what she wants, and there is no stopping her. A part of him warned that the situation was still the same, that nothing had changed, yet everything had changed; she had sought him out. It wasn't just the heat of the moment, she made the walk all the way form the clearing through the forest and the hallways and corridors of Gladsheim to his chamber, giving her ample oppurtunity to reconsider. But she hadn't, so she really wanted him. So, he relaxed himself, determined to just enjoy the ride. And he did.

 

***

She still did not spent the night with him, but he reasoned that he couldn't be to upset about it. They couldn't risk it, after all. He didn't want anyone to find out about them, and neither did she. Gossips flourished at the court of Odin Allfather, and this might very well be the juiciest gossip of the last few decades: the shieldmaiden and the trickster prince. Both different, both struggling to be accepted, finding solace with each other. They would never hear the end of it. Also, there would be rumors about him bewitching her, or manipulating her, for there could be no reason to think that someone would be with him by her own choosing. Plus, he had to admit, it was kind of exciting, pulling her in hidden nooks and crannies for a passionate kiss, or using his shadows to cloak them as he had her against one of the pillars in the throne room. The thrill of getting caught heigtened their pleasure even more. 

Well, he was certain that her brother Heimdall knew of their trysts as well, because he saw everything in all the Nine Realms, but as long as it was no concern to Asgard, he wouldn't tell anybody. Still, he felt increasingly uncomfortable in the Guardian's precense. He could feel his eyes on him every time they were at the Observatory, but his face was as expressionless as always.

Sif began to frequent his chambers more often now, not only when Thor failed to notice her again, but just because she wanted to. Because she wanted  _him._ The mere thought made him flutter with joy. Perhaps, maybe, he had made her reconsider her love for Thor. Pehaps he had succeeded in showing her that there was someone who was always there for her, who supported her no matter what, someone that loved her and adored her and would continue to do so for ever. For the first time since Sif had met Thor, he allowed himself to hope, to hope that she might choose him.

For the first time in his live, he felt truly happy. He had everything he could wish for; he had a father who, perhaps not openly, loved him, a mother who very openly loved him, a brother who, despite his arrogance and stupidity, he loved with all his heart and Sif. Sif most of all. He couln't really phantom why she would choose him, but she did. Who needed the throne if he could have Sif. Thor the throne, he Sif, it was something he could make peace with. The nagging voice in his head that told him that Sif loved Thor and not him was easily silenced, especially when said Sif was sleeping next to him.

And so, life continued on Asgard, and life was  _good._ He, Sif and Thor often went on quests throughout the Nine Realms alongside Hogun, Volstagg and Fandral, the Warriors Three, as they called themselves. They weren't really his friends, but their presence didn't bother him that much anymore. Besides, it was an opportunity to make them swallow all the insults they had ever given him, taunting him with his seiðr, as he showed them just how useful it could be when he saved their lives on more then one occassion. It also didn't bother him that they and Thor took most of the credit from their victories, for he had Sif. During the battle, they fought side by side, sometimes back to back, fighting perfectly in sync with one another, and when she looked at him after the battle with that wolfish grin of hers, he knew he was going to be ravished that night. After all, the Lady Sif's bloodlust was insatiable.

Since he was with Sif, he was in a perpetual good mood, and people wondered what or who had brought about that change. Frigga looked at him with a big smile, almost knowingly. Thor laughed and asked what he was up to, like he was devising some master prank or something. Odin didn't really care. Almost everyone else was wary, because his behaviour was unusual, and no one wanted to be on the receiving end of one of his tricks.

Sif was also happier than he had seen her in a long time, and the fact that he made her happier made his chest swell with pride. It was his job, after all, to make her happy. She may not have asked for it, or wanted it, but it was a task he had dedicated himself to. He had never seen her cry since their first night together, and he was glad. She had spilled enough tears to last her millennia.

Loki often returned to the clearing, the place where his life had changed so drastically, to think and practice spells, and sometimes, Sif would join him. He would read for her out of his books, and made displays of his magic. He even tried to teach her some spells, and he found that she had some talent, but she preferred the steel in her hand over magic, and he respected that, just as she respected his preferences. She had never laughed at him for choosing magic during training, and, when they were still young, was always quick to defend him when someone did.

He was whistling while walking through the forest. He hadn't visited the clearing for quite some time now, and he wanted to get away from the beehive that was Gladsheim. Besides, the only important person that could come looking for him knew where to search. But when he neared the clearing, he heard something that he had never heard before, not in this particulary space. 

Voices.

 _Damn,_ he thought,  _someone must have found my, no our, secret place. How foolish of me to forget installing repelling wards around this place._ He cloaked himself in shadow once more, so he could suprise the intruders and scare them off, so they might never return. As silent as he could, he made his way towards a large bush. The voices obviously came from there, and suddenly he heard giggling and moaning.  _Oh great, they are desecrating our sanctuary. Scaring them off might not suffice._ He rounded the bush, ready to give them the scare of their life, and looked straight into the woman's face. He felt the control over his spell slipping, the shadows retreated, and when she looked him straight in the eye, Sif screamed. She was naked, and useds her arm to cover herself. Then, another voice piped in.

"Please, brother, could you give us some privacy? We are... busy" Thor said, and he winked at Loki. Loki felt his head spinning, and had to resist the urge to vomit.  _Betrayal,_ flashed through his mind.  _Betrayal._ He looked at SIf again and saw in her eyes nothing but pure pity. 

Still unable to utter a word, unable to believe his eyes, he fled.

 

*****

 _Fool,_ he thought bitterly as he entered his chamber.  _Fool, fool, fool. You knew her feelings from the start, knew that she loved Thor. Why did you believe that YOU could change her mind? When has someone ever chose him over Thor? Thor was strong, brave and kind. He was none of those things. So why did she think she would choose you? She used you to forget about Thor, and you couldn't even do that. You are unworthy as a lover. You are unworthy as a person._ Tears were rolling down his cheek by know, and he had to resist the urge to hide his face in his pillow, like he did when he was younger. He knew that she didn't love him, but he fooled himself in thinking she did. He opened his heart, allowed himself to feel, and again, it betrayed him, it hurt him. 

 _How fitting, that the God of Lies becomes undone by one of his lies. I am not worthy of that title, for all my claims of cleverness, I am a fool like the rest of them. No, he was the greatest fool in all of Asgard. She was meant for Thor, why did he hope?_ He felt his heart being ripped apart, and the pain was excruciating. He just wanted to crawl in his bed and die, hoping that he would never feel again, for feeling was feeling pain.

She cheated on him. Surely, after all this time, she was aware of his feelings? And in their secret spot, of all places? His heart staggered at this betrayal, but it was nothing compared to the deep sadness he was feeling. He angrily wiped his tears away, angry at himself, and when she entered, his face was a mask of coldness, and the look he gave her was so icily that she shuddered.

"Loki, I'm so sorry." she said softly.

"No, you are not. Don't lie to me, SIf. I think I at least deserve some honesty." he snapped.

"I didn't want this, you have to believe me" she cried, and she gripped his arm desperately, but released it when he shot a dead glare at her. She knew that she had broken things between them, and she was crying.

"Why are you crying, Lady SIf?" he mocked. "You got everything you ever wished for. You have Thor, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Not like this." she stammered. "I don't want to lose my best friend. Loki, you have to understand, I..."

"I understand perfectly." he cut her off. "Now, if that's all, please leave me." 

Apparently, she had nothing left to say, for she walked to the door, opened it and looked at him with great sadness.

"For what it's worth, I really am sorry." and she closed the door behind her.

"No you're not." he whispered, even though she couldn't hear him anymore, and his mind finished the sentence with great sadness.

"Not yet."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated


	7. Alone, but never alone

The next day, Thor announced his relationship with the Lady Sif. He claimed he "had to do it, before my brother did, and the Allfather knows what lies and rumors he might add." Everyone laughed at that. 

Loki didn't.

Sif was happier than he had ever seen her, and a part of him, although he loathed himself for it, still cared about her happiness. Everything else was sadness and grief. But his sadness became too great, and it threatened to swallow him. He had to get rid of his feelings, lest they would destroy him.

Long ago, Loki had learned that emotions are the most powerful forces in the world. They could make or destroy a man. If you can control your emotions, hide them from the others, you have the advantage. People who cannot control their emotions are predictable, easy to comprehend and to manipulate. Thor was one of those people, so he always found manipulating him was hardly a challenge. People who can control their emotions are more dangerous, because you never know what they are thinking, what they are feeling. They are unpredictable, can easily deceive you and are definitively scary. And who is the greatest deceiver in all of Yggdrasil? The God of Mischief and Lies.

So, Loki had created a mask that conveyed indifference, arrogance, mockery, all the emotions that a heartless man would posses He had used it often to protect himself against the stares and the whispers that followed him wherever he went. But now, the mask became all but reality, like the mask was his face, and his face the mask. He learned to control every muscle, every twitch of his face, none of his movements were without thought our consideration. In short, his body did nothing he didn't want it to do.

Now, in order to protect himself against his raging emotions, he locked them deep inside him, built high, impenetrable walls to contain them, and fused the mask to himself in order to deny their very existence. He walled himself off, shutting himself off from the outside world. To all, he became a cold, uncaring, arrogant, mocking person. Most people didn't notice the change, for wasn't he always like that. But the ones that knew him, knew he had changed.

Frigga watched her son closely as he grew from the strange boy with black hair, witty, clever, loving with a smile that warmed your heart, to a man that was cold and calculated, always keeping everybody at arm's length, and she knew something had happened to her son, that something had broken inside of him, something she couldn't repair, and she wept, wept for the boy that wasn't her son but she loved dearly nonetheless.

Sif, too, saw this change, and she felt guilty about it, because it were her actions that caused this. But it was too late now, too late to change everything. She couldn't reach him anymore. She tried to talk to him, explain what happened, but everytime she spoke to him, he made excuses and turned away from her, but not after giving her a look like she was something he just scraped from his shoe. She deserved that, she knew, but she wanted him to yell and scream at her. His indifference hurt her more than she could say, because if he just yelled and screamed at her, she knew he still cared. Now, she knew nothing.

Soon, however, Loki found out that keeping your emotions and true thoughts hidden from everyone, including yourself, isn't easy. The sadness, hidden behind thick walls, still hurt him, so he twisted it in emotions he could understand; anger. Jealousy. Hate. Anger at Sif's betrayal, her blatant dismissal of his feelings just so she could be together with Thor. Jealousy at Thor, who had everything while he had nothing. Hate against himself. Hate that he still cared about Sif, that he couldn't master his emotions as he thought he could. This rage, this hate, he began to release it in small portions. While his pranks used to be harmless, now they were malicious, wich further diminished his already tarnished reputation. Loki Snaketongue, they called him. Pain-bringer. Harbinger of Misery.

So the years continued, and there was a growing rift between Loki and the rest of Asgard. He seldom went on quests anymore, and only after Odin made him go, preferring to stay in the library, researching spells and incantations. He had become powerful indeed, the greatest wizard Asgard had ever seen. But, even in the remote places he used to haunt, he couldn't help but overhear the rumors: Thor and Sif were to be married. His magic lashed out when he heard of this, destroying the furniture as he threw them against the wall with an invisible force. 

He still cared. After all this time, he still cared. Part of him was happy for her. The other parts wanted to tear apart the palace to voice his displeasure. But, then again, who would give a damn about his feelings if they thought he had none.

And then, one night, he heard a soft knock on his door. When it opened with a flick of his wrist, Sif entered. He was momentarily stunned, and she could see the doubt in his eyes, but he recovered pretty quickly.

"My Lady Sif" he greeted her glibly, as if nothing had happened between them, "to what do I owe the pleasure of your precense?" He didn't even try to hide the biting tone, courtesy of the fact that they hadn't spoken to each other in years.

"I would speak with you" she answered plainly, and he gestured at a chair. She sat down without saying anything, and it piqued Loki's interest. He took a chair opposite of her, sat down, crossed his legs and looked at her questioningly.

"I am listening."

"Now you are listening, yes. I've been trying to talk to you for some time now, but you never listened." she retorted.

"Did you come to insult me, my Lady? If so, I have to ask you to leave."

"No, I didn't came here to insult you, you fool, I..." her voice fell, "I came here to apologize. About everything. I tried to do that the day you caught us, but you didn't listen, and every time I tried to talk to you afterwards, you ignored me." After all this, she had the guts to sound  _accusatory?_

"What is there to talk about? You wanted Thor, you didn't get him, so you used me to distract yourself from thinking about him, you finally get Thor, and you have no further use for me, so you leave me. It all makes sense. It's all perfectly logical." he sneered, and Sif looked like he had just punched her. Then, her face twisted in rage. She was always beautiful when enraged.

"YOU... YOU... YOU...! YOU THINK I USED YOU? YOU THINK I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS? WHAT KIND OF PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM? WHAT KIND OF FRIEND DO YOU THINK I AM?"

"If you cared, then why did you do it?"

"I... I. I don't know." Suddenly, she seemed to deflate. "It was just... Thor asked me and..." 

"And you forgot all about Loki."

She looked at him, but he could see she was no longer furious. If anything, she was downcast. "I never meant for all of this to happen the way it did, you have to believe me. It was never my intention to hurt you, my best friend, now and always, but I did and for that I am truly sorry. I have caused you more pain than I can ever imagine, I know that, and you have every right to hate me. All I ask is a chance, a chance to make things right, to earn your forgiveness, and someday, to regain your trust."

She was practicaly on her knees by now. He could think of a thousand hurtful things to throw at her head, but instead he heard himself asking: "Why now? Why do you come to me now? Why not before?"

She looked away,as if she was ashamed. "Thor and I are no longer a couple."

He was appalled. "You leave me for Thor, he dumps you, and you come running back? Like nothing has ever happened, you expect me to take you back." He asked incredulously. He could feel the anger burning inside him, and he felt his control over his emotions slipping. 

"No. I left him." she simply said, and silence fell between them.  _She left Thor? The one she has been in love with almost her entire life? She's lying, she must be, there is no other_ option. "For all these years, I thought that I was in love with him, but it turns out I'm not. We are still friends, though."

"What... what happened?" he stammered.  _Surely this doesn't mean...? No, impossible. She's lying. This is just some trick, to see if I still care, so she has someone to crawl back to when Thor grows tired of her. Or perhaps Thor is here, eavesdropping on them, waiting for him to confess his feelings, and then he appears and they all laugh and..._

"I realized I was in love with someone else. A certain someone who has always been there for me, who always supported me, who loved me from the beginning, and I was to blind to see it. And now it is too late, for I have hurt him, and I cannot expect him to believe, let alone forgive me. But I hope that one day, he will, and then we will be together again."

"Are you saying...?"

"I love you, Loki Odinson. I love you with all my heart"

_She loved him. She loved him. She loved him._ Part of him wanted to weep with joy, part of him wanted to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her, whispering in her ear that everything will work out, that they will be together forever.

"NO!" he yelled. "You don't get to do this to me. YOU. DON'T. GET. TO. DO. THIS. TO. ME." He felt years of restrained emotions pouring out, and he felt like an inferno.

Sif blinked at him, a puzzeled look on her face. "Loki? What are you talking about?"

"I have been in love with you for years. For years I hoped, only for that hope to be crushed when you said you were in love with Thor. I desperately tried to quell my feelings for you, so you could be with Thor, and then you kissed me. I felt hope again, and while our relationship lasted, I was happy, only for you to crush that happiness again when you slept with Thor. That almost killed me, but I managed to survive. I did everything I could to keep my emotions at bay, to destroy every ounce of love I felt for you, otherwise it would destroy me. And now, you come at me AGAIN? No more. I can't take it anymore." And for the first time in years, his mask cracked and he wept, he wept openly, and he hated himself for it, but he couldn't control it any longer.

Sif was close to crying herself now: "Loki, this is not a game, I swear it. I really do love you. Not Thor, not anyone else, you."

"For the last ten years you had a relationship with Thor, and recently, you realized that you didn't love him either. I couldn't take that. Not again. You'll grow tired of me again and you will leave me, and I won't be able to recover again. I hate these feelings, because they will only lead to more hurt. I hate you for causing them. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." he screamed at her.

"You don't mean that" she said stubbornly. "You love me and I love you. You know it and I know it."

"I loved you.... once. But my heart betrayed me, just as you did, so I ripped it out of my chest and burned it. There is no love left inside of me. Not for you, not for anyone else."

"You love me, I know you do, but I understand your reaction. I hurt you deeply, after all. But don't cut yourself off from the rest of the world. Your emotions are not your enemy, Loki. You have to understand that. And I will wait for you, once you have figured that out."

" _Leave. Me."_ he hissed, and she did, but not before giving him a sorrowful look.

"You may have given up hope, Loki, for yourself and everybody else, but know that I never will. I love you, and I always will, and I swear on my life, I'll be there when you figure it out."  Then she closed the door and he was alone.

Then, he threw himself on his bed and wept, wept like he never wept before. He wouldn't weep again for many years.

After his eyes had dried, he recollected himself, mask in place, and left.

The Old Loki was filled with emotion, compassion and love. The Old Loki was weak, and he deserved to die, and he did.

The New Loki was born.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any questions, comments or feedback? Let me know!


	8. A liar's truth

The downside of telling lies all the time is that, even when you are telling the truth, people tend not to believe you. But he had no choice, for it seemed that he was the only one remotely concerned, and it grated him.

He knocked on the door, and a gruff voice said: "Enter!", and so he did.

"Allfather" he greeted, and bowed deeply, "I request an audience!"

His father looked up from the scrolls he was examining and nodded. Loki entered swiftly and closed the door behind him.

"What is it?"

"It's about the coronation, Allfather." he said, and he managed to keep his voice steady, despite the scrutinized look Odin was giving him.

"What about it? Do you have questions about the ceremony, and the task you are expected to perform? Or about your duties afterwards? Speak up."

"No, Allfather, it's just... I was wondering... if perhaps... it all went a little too fast." He cursed inwardly. For all his eloquence and calm and collected demeanor, every time Odin gave him that look, he felt like a small child again. The fact that Odin usually treated him as if he was a small child didn't exactly help.

"What do you mean, too fast? My decision was made centuries ago, and the preparations started not long afterwards. The whole affair is thoroughly planned." His gaze turned suspicious now, and Loki shivered under it.

"It's not the ceremony, Allfather, it's... it's Thor." There, he said it. There was no going back now. 

Odin's look turned into a scowl: "What would be wrong with Thor?" 

"He's not ready, Allfather, I just know it. I just  _feel_ it. He doesn't think. He has no mind for diplomacy. If he wants to solve a problem, he uses either his fists or his hammer. While I admit that it is Asgard's favorite manner of dealing with situations, I just don't think he's ready for the throne. Not yet. Postpone the coronation, let him mature, school him in the ways of ruling. Please, Allfather, it is the best for Asgard."

Odin looked at him long and hard, and the silence that fell between them grew increasingly uncomfortable.

"I see what you are doing." Odin suddenly said. "You are saying that Thor is unfit for ruling, that he is stupid, and that I would be better off choosing you."

"Allfather, that's not true, I merely...."

"Don't insult my intelligence, boy. I raised you, and I can see through your ploys. I thought you understood. I thought you would know your place, that you could accept the fact that you would never become king of Asgard, and I hoped you could put that behind you and help your brother in his rule. But I see know that you are a jealous, greedy boy, angry that he was passed over, and so you spread lies about your brother, saying he is incompetent, not fit for ruling." His voice was icy with dissappointment.

"Father, that  was not my intent, I don't want to take Thor's place, and I don't think ..."

"That's right, you don't think. Well, Loki, let me put it this way. You will never sit on the throne of Asgard. It is meant for Thor, not you, always has, always will be. Do you understand?"

He didn't respond, he just fled.

 

****

 _How dared he? How dared he? After everything he did to me, he still thinks that I am ungrateful of my position, jealous about the attention showered on Thor._ All right, if he was honest, he also went because he was indeed jealous of Thor, but he knew that Odin would never give up his golden boy for him. No, his primary concern had been for Asgard, and the inevitable chaos she would fall into when Thor ascended the throne. Not that Thor was stupid (he was, as Loki often pointed out), but he was a warrior and a spoiled brat in one body. He was reckless, wich was a good thing in battle, but a terrible trait for statecraft. He didn't think, he did. He was used to things always going his way, so he never learned to admit defeat or to even make concessions. He was certain that if Thor ascended the throne tomorrow, there would be a war within the week, seeing as Thor in general never thought about the consequences.

He didn't want to replace Thor. Odin would never allow it, and neither would the rest of Asgard, who were blind to his brother's shortcomings, but were always quick to point out his (useless rabble). He just wanted them to wait until Thor was older, wiser, more mature. 

He entered the gardens, and saw his mother tending to her flowers, her handmaidens around her. The sight of it filled his battered heart with affection and love, of his mother was the only one he still loved deeply, and she loved him, always and unconditionally. She would listen to him. She would see the reason behind his words.

"Mother" he adressed her "can I have a word with you? In private?" she smiled, and waved her hand in dismissal. The flock handmaidens around her disappeared so quickly, it was as if she had used seiðr to magick them away.

"Of course, my son" she responded, and she sat down on a stone bench, beckoning for her son to join her, wich he reluctantly did.

"Now, what troubles you?"

"Thor!" he responded curtly.

"Stars and branches, what have you to done now? You really are too old to continue teasing each other like that. Thor is going to be king tomorrow, and still you behave like little children." She rolled her eyes and sighed with mock desperation.

"Actually, that is what I wanted to talk about; the coronation." he said carefully, as if he expected her to explode in his face.

"Loki, he still remains your brother, king or not, and you are still a Prince of Asgard. Nothing has to change between you two, Thor will not treat you any different.

 _Well, that much is true,_ he thought dryly. In the years leading up to his coronation, Thor had become icreasingly arrogant. Confident in his capability as a warrior, he was sure he would adapt to the kingship with ease, and his cocky nature irritated Loki more than he would show. He was vain, craved admiration, was often rude, but Asgard seemed to always forgive her favorite son.

"It's not that, it's... I'm not sure Thor is ready. He is reckless, mother. He doesn't think before he does anything, he doesn't consider the consequences of his actions. His thirst for war and battle is great, but he seems to forget that statecraft is more than that, and I am afraid he will. He's not yet ready. He will take the throne, but only when he is ready, wiser, more mature. You must talk to Odin or Thor, convince them it is better to wait a few more years. They will listen to you, I just know it." he looked at her pleadingly.

She put her hands on his shoulders and planted a kiss on his forehead. "I know Thor is not perfect, and I know he can be dangerous, but I think he will make a fine king, as long as you are there to help him out. You must be there, Loki, if he is to succeed. You two complement each other perfectly. With you by his side, Thor will succeed, I just know it."

"Thor never listens to me anymore." he scoffed.

"He will. When the time comes, he will."

 

***

Asking his mother didn't yield the result he was hoping for either. Could she not see that Thor didn't listen to him. He never listened to anyone's advice. He stubbornly followed his own path (something that had gotten them in a lot of trouble in the past), confident that he was right and the other wrong, because he's the Crown Prince of Asgard, soon to be King of Asgard, so he knows best.

His mother's words didn't ease his mind as she hoped it would; he still felt that gnawing feeling of dread every time he pictured Thor on the throne.He had to find a way to postpone this coronation, by any means necessary. He had hoped to avoid this, but they left him no other choice. He knocked on the door, and after a few seconds, he saw two rows of perfectly white teeth, and a very large and very warm smile.

"Loki. Come in! What a pleasant surprise." Sif said, and she all but pulled him into her chambers. She was looking extremely content with the whole situation, and he felt vaguely uncomfortable seeing her so exited, and with her hand still warm on his arm. Feelings long dead began to stir, but he quelled them violently.

"Sif" he acknowledged stiffly. "I have come to ask for your help."

"Anything." she almost breathed, and she moved closer to him. He was beginning to sweat now.

"I need you to talk with Thor. He will listen to you."

"What?" she stepped back, and he was grateful for it, for he wouldn't have been able to control himself much longer.

"I need you to convince Thor not to take the throne tomorrow."

"What? Why? Loki, seriously, you must stop being so jealous all the time. I already said it; I love you, not him. Do nut begrudge him the throne. He is made for it."

"You may find this hard to believe, but not everything revolves around you." He replied coolly, and he felt a twitch when he saw the look on her face. "My concern is of another matter. He is not ready. He is stupid, immature and dangerous, and he will lead us into disaster. He doens't have an ounce of statesmanship. He is not ready to become king, he must first grow a brain, and be mature enough to rule. We might as well put a baby on the throne."

"Loki.." she said, and she put her hand back on his arm. "You have to believe in your brother. He will do a fine job, I am sure of it. He will be a great king."

"You would say that, you love him." he snorted derisively, and she smacked him in the face.

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING? YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU, NOT THOR. I WANT YOU, NOT THOR. Why do you continue to punish me so? Why do you keep insisting that I am lying. I love you, but you don't give me a chance to prove it. You can be a cruel man, Loki Odinson. I may have hurt you, but you are hurting me now. I hardly recoginze you anymore. Your jealousy towards Thor has twisted you in something you are not. The Loki I knew would never hurt someone. He would never take pleasure in the suffering of others. 

Loki Odinson, what has the world done to you?" 

He said nothing, he just left her there with her tears and fears and departed.

 

*****

 _They don't believe me,_ he mused,  _well, I can't say I am too suprised, I am the God of Lies and Mischief after all, but I had rather hoped they would have taken my word on this occasion._ But they hadn't; for how could Loki Silvertongue have someone else's interests in mind. He thought only about himself, and so if he warned them against the impending doom that was his oaf of a brother, they only saw jealousy, that he envied Thor for his position and popularity with the populace (wich he did, of course, but that was not the issue right now), and they were blind towards his genuine concern for the well-being of the realm.

Well, if they wouldn't believe him, he would have to show them. Better now before it was to late.

Then, he went about his plan, and after several hours, it was complete.

He opened a portal to Jotunheim.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of my pre-canon chapters, the following chapters while be set during the events of the first Thor movie, then post-Thor and pre-Avengers, and so on... You get the picture.
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated


	9. Suspicion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The following chapters take place during the events of the first movie, so all the actions and dialogues are completely canon, so I have no rights to them whatsoever. All rights belong to Marvel and Marvel Studios.  
> In these chapters, I will explore the events of the first movie through the eyes of Loki. Enjoy.

_Thor,_ his mind screamed as a Frost Giant launched himself towards him.,  _if we survive this, I'm going to kill you._ His illusion flickered when the Jotun flew through him and over the edge into nothingness. The image disappeared with a snap of his finger. He whirled around and two of his knives buried themselves into the neck of oncoming attackers. 

_The future king of Asgard,_  he sneered.All it took for him to go berserk was one petty insult. One of the Jotnar had taunted him. "Run back home, little princess!" he had said, and Thor just smiled and threw his hammer. And now they were here, fighting for their lives in these frozen wastelands.  _Marvelously done, Wonder Boy._

Well, he had to admit, it wasn't entirely Thor's fault. If anything, he would have to take the greater part of the blame. He was the cause of all this, indirectly. Yes, disrupting Thor's coronation by smuggling Frost Giants into Asgard may have been one of his greatest tricks, it was not one of the best.

He had thought it a great idea. Thor wasn't ready to become King of Asgard, and he would it to everyone. Smuggling Frost Giants into the weapons vault would reveal Thor for the war-hungry, battle-lusting  _boy_ he still was. And for the most part, the plan went smoothly. He had opened the portal, allowed a few of them through, hid them from Heimdall's gaze, and led them to the Vault, all while he was at the ceremony. Luckily, they managed to reach the Casket before Thor was proclaimed King. Odin had sensed them and used the Destroyer to obliterate the intruders. He, Thor and Odin than descened into the vault, where Thor, as he had expected, called loudly for war, claiming that, as King of Asgard, he would march into Jotunheim with his armies and demand answers, claiming Laufey had broken their truce. He had even called Odin vulnerable. Odin then retorted that Thor wasn't king, not yet, and Loki had difficulty supressing a sigh of relief. He had proved it, Odin had seen that Thor wasn't ready (not that he would ever admit it), and, with the recent developments, Odin would remain king until the situation had been cleared. He had felt increasingly pleased with himself, almost certain that he had just averted a disaster. If that sort of thing would have happened when Thor was king, they would be at war.

He was pleased, Thor was not. When he reached his chambers, he overturned his table in his rage, to Volstagg's dismay. He couldn't resist pestering Thor, especially now that his "day of triumph", as he had called it, was postponed. In an effort to cool Thor's anger, he had assured him that it would come, and then he told him that he was right about Laufey and the Frost Giants, and that next time, they could come with an army. That placated him a bit. But when he told Thor that he couldn't do anything without defying the Allfather's commands, he immediately knew he had gone too far. Andeed, his brother rose and, in that cocky, arrogant way of him, proclaimed that they were going to Jotunheim.

While Thor convinced Sif and the Warriors Three to join them, he was rapidly thinking ahead. He had known he had to try to convince Thor to stay in Asgard, but he knew that it was too late to reign his brother in. He knew that they were going to Jotunheim. The problem was; how would they return? Heimdall would not open the Bifrost to them if it meant endangering Asgard, and knowing Thor, they would find themselves in a lot of trouble. He had to devise some way to warn Odin about this, so he could stop them, or at least get them back. And perhaps, just  _perhaps,_ he would see that his oldest son might be strong and valiant, but his youngest son was wise, cautious, and concerened about the wellfare of others. He could turn this to his advantage. So, when Thor said that they couldn't let him and his brother go to Jotunheim alone, he was the first to say that he would stand by his brother's side. The rest followed, naturally, but he could sense that both Sif and Hogun were watching him.

Before they mounted their horses, he managed to send a guard to Odin to tell them where they had gone, and he could only hope the Allfather could reach them before they got themselves into trouble. His first obstacle proved a dissappointment; he had expected Heimdall to try and stop them, sworn to obey the Allfather and serve the realm before anything else, but it seemed he was more disturbed with the fact that Frost Giants had evaded his sight rather than disobeying his king.

When they arrived on Jotunheim, their "quest for answers" quickly turned into an all-out battle, when Thor once again proved what a terrible king he would have made.

His thoughts were interrupted when Volstagg screamed; one of the Frost Giants had grabbed him by the arm, and it was burned black, black from the frostbite.

"Aarg, don't let them touch you." he yelled, after headbutting it.

Loki saw another Frost Giant approaching, and jumped down, knife in hand, and drove it deep into the creature's belly. Then , the Frost Giant gripped his arm with his hand

He panicked, and tried to wrestle away, expecting the searing pain that Volstagg had felt, but it never came. He opened his eyes and stared with shock as a blue color crept over his left arm, until it was fully blue. He stared at it in disbelieve, until the Jotun turned his gaze to him, and he looked into those red eyes and saw confusion and  _mockery._ A small, cruel smile appeared on his lips, until Loki pierced his chest with another of his magic knives. The creature released the grip on his arm, and while he was looking at it, the normal color slowly returned.

_No, no, this can't be, this is some Jotun trick, it must be._    _He couldn't be... no, that's impossible._  He turned around and saw Sif looking at him.  _How long has she been watching? What has she seen?_ all flashed through his mind.

Then, another scream pierced the sky as Fandral was impaled on several ice spikes, hurting him badly.

"THOR!" Sif screamed as Hogun and Volstagg hoisted the wounded Fandral on their shoulders.

"We must go!" Loki yelled.  _Before the Bifrost is closed to us, if it isn't already._

"Then go!" Thor shouted, and he swung Mjolnir with all his might, knocking several Frost Giants away, before he threw it,  _splintering_ a dozen more.

Then, Laufey used his magic, and a crack appeared in the ice. It reached a giant ice statue, but it wasn't a statue, it was some sort of giant beast. Volstagg hoisted Fandral on his shoulders and shouted "RUN!"

Then they ran, except for Thor, who was still using his hammer to send more Frost Giants to their death. Loki yelled: "Thor" for the last time, before the creature sprang to life and began pursuing them. Loki looked back; the monster was gaining on them. Then, with a stroke of luck, a giant ice pillar collapsed between them and the beast, slowing its progress, but not before almost killing Sif with an overhead swipe from his tail. Then, Loki heard thunder and lighting behind him, and he knew Thor was using Mjolnir's power to its fullest. He created some kind of shockwave, and great parts of Jotuheims surface simply _collapsed,_ revealing great chasms under the ice. The creature wasn' quick enough, and disappeared in the darkness. But now the ice before them was cracking as well, and Loki knew they had to hurry or follow the creature into the abyss. Then, they reached the cliff edge.

"Heimdall, open the bridge." he yelled, but there was no flash from the Bifrost, no reaction at all. Instead, a giant claw appeared, and the creature they thought dead appeared before them, hunger and anger in his eyes. Apparently, it had somehow survived the fall. _Perhaps it can walk over the ceiling,_ he thought, but when it roared, his thoughts were cut short. It upheaved itself, so that it towered above them, and then he opened it's mouth.

A red flash shot through his mouth and the back of his head. _Thor,_ he sagged with relief, _am I glad to see you for a_ _change_. The creature's head fell on the ice, now with a man-sized hole through the back of his head, and slowly slided off the cliff, disappearing in the darkness below them, this time for good. When Thor turned his face towards them, he was grinning, and had not a stain of blood or brains on his armor or cloak. _How is that even possible?_ But then his smirk fell, and when Loki turned around, he could see why. It seemed that the entire Jotun army had assembled to fight them; he saw more Jotnar then he even knew still existed, and they rushed towards them. Loki braced himself for the inevitable slaughter, but just as they reached them, the sky began to rumble, and a beam of colored light touched the ground. When the bright light faded a bit, he could see a horned figure, carrying a spear, mounted on an eight-legged horse; The Allfather. They were saved.

"Father, we'll finish them together." Thor shouted victoriously, but Odin simply looked at him and hissed: "Silence!" His victorious smirk fell as quickly as it had appeared.

Laufey came forward, and used ice to elevate himself to Odin's level.

"Allfather," he said softly, but oh so dangerously, "you look weary." And he was right; the Allfather was swaying, as if travelling to Jotunheim had consumed the better part of his strength.

"Laufey, end this now." Odin reasoned.

"Your boy sought this out." _Ok,_ Loki thought, _we won't get_ _with this. We should consider ourselves lucky if we make it out alive at all. For all we know, Father might still kill us when we return._

"You are right. These are the actions of a boy. Treat them as such!" Thor looked furious, but for once had the wits to keep his mouth shut. "You and I can end this, here and now. Before this further bloodshed."

"We are beyond diplomacy now, Allfather." His soft tones were more menacing than any hard shout could have been. "He'll get what he came for. War and death."

If the Allfather was dismayed with this answer, he didn't show it.

"So be it."

Then, suddenly, Laufey raised something and wanted to stab the Allfather, but in that moment, the Bifrost was activated. Laufey was thrown away, and light sucked up him, Odin, Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three. _They were going home._

 

****

 

When his feet finally touched ground, they were back at the Observatory. He almost wanted to kiss the ground in relief, but it was time he composed himself. He hadn't forgotten the moment when the Jotun had touched him, and his mind was still trying to grasp what had happened. But, when he looked upon the Allfather's face, he knew that they were in big trouble.

Thor, oblivious as ever, strode toward the Allfather: "Why did you bring us back?" he demanded, and Loki flinched. _Did he not see? Was he truly that stupid?_

"Do you realize what you have done, what you have started?" The tone in Odin's voice was hard, unflinchingly hard.

"I was protecting my home."

"You cannot even protect your friends, how can you hope to protect a kingdom." Odin pulled Heimdall's sword out of the stance and threw it back to him. "Go to the Healing Room! NOW!" Sif and the Warriors Three left quickly, but not before Sif turned his gaze towards him. _She knows,_ shot through his head, _she knows that this is my fault. Or rather, she suspects._

"There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act." _Quiet Thor, just stay quiet. You are only making this worse for yourself._ But then, another thought crept into his mind. _Let him speak. Let Odin see the man his son truly is. Perhaps then he'll see that there is another son, mischievous, yes, but also wise and obedient._ "The Jotuns must learn to fear me, just as they once feared you."

"That's pride and vanity talking, not leadership. You have forgotten everything I taught you" _Everything you neglected to teach me. "_ About a warrior's patience.."

"While you wait and be patient, the Nine Realms laugh at us. The old ways are done and you stand giving speeches while Asgard falls." The scorn was now clear in Thor's voice, and his arrogance and disrespect reached new height, heights even Loki didn't knew he was capable of.

"YOU ARE A VAIN, GREEDY, CRUEL BOY!" Odin thundered at him

"AND YOU ARE AN OLD MAN AND A FOOL!" Thor yelled back.

Odin seemed to shrink at these words, deeply hurt, probably because he never expected them to come from the mouth of his beloved firstborn son. "Yes," he said, but he sounded _deflated,_ nay _defeated_ , "I was a fool. To think you were ready."

Loki couldn't stand it anymore. Seeing his father so sad was something he had never seen before, and never hoped to see. His father always was a rock, unyielding, always steadfast. Seeing him like this was just _wrong._ He had to do something. This whole situation was spiralling out of control. "Father.."

"HEY..." Odin suddenly yelled at him, and his face was contorted with anger. Loki immediately fell silent. _Why did he even bother? What was he expecting? That Odin would listen to him? He never did before._

"Thor... Odinson. "he adressed Thor directly, and Thor fell silent, and for the first time, Loki saw uncertainty in his brother's eyes, who had realized he had pushed things too far. "You have betrayed the express command of your king, through your arrogance and stupidity, you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of WAR." he grasped Gungnir and put it in the pedestal where Heimdall's sword usually was. With a roar, the Bifrost was activated. "You are unworthty of these realms, you are unworthty of your TITLE!" While he was talking, he was ripping of Thor's armor and cloak. "YOU ARE UNWORTHY... of the loved ones you have betrayed." He fell silent, the grief etched on his face, while Thor looked like a dog who had just received a particulary nasty kick.

Odin took a few steps back, turned to face Thor once more, and held out his hand. "I now take from you your power!" he said, and Mjolnir flew into his outstretched hands. "In the name of my father" he spoke, and the mail on Thor's arm fell apart into tiny pieces, "and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, CAST YOU OUT." And he hit Thor with lighting from Mjolnir, and Thor flew into the activated Bifrost, and he was gone. Loki stood and watched, incredulously. _He has banished Thor. He has stripped him from his powers and banished him._ That had not been his intention. He wanted to postpone the coronation until Thor was ready, but now he started to doubt if Thor would ever be ready. Not that it mattered if Thor remained banished. He felt a pang of guilt for his brother, who was now banished for actions he had provoked. Y _es, but you didn't force him to go to Jotunheim, did you? He went by his own choosing. You simply laid the bait, and he took it._ It was not enough to ease his concious, but there was nothing he could do for his brother. He turned around to walk away, but then, Odin brought the hammer to his lips. "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor." and he flung the hammer into the activated Bifrost.

 

 

****

He was in the common room with Sif and the Warriors Three. When he had told them the news, they had fallen silent, thinking about their comrade, lost and without his powers, on an alien world;

"We should have never let him go." Volstagg spoke up

"There was no stopping him." Sif reminded him

"At least he's only banished, not dead. Wich is what we would all be if that guard hadn't told Odin where we had gone." Fandral remarked.

His remark was met by silence. Loki wasn't really paying attention. He was still staring at his left arm. _It can't be. It must have been a hallucination, the cold made me see things that were not there. Or it is some sort of foul Jotun magic._ The Jotnar were adept magic users, he knew. But so was he, and that was a rare occurrence on Asgard. The longer he thought about it, the more it made sense. He always had known he was different, with his black hair and his aptitude for seiðr. _Perhaps I really am a Jotun. But no, that does not make sense. Why would Odin adopt a Jotun? What possible purpose could that have. No, it was a trick, it must be._ He desperately clung to that hope. _No, not even Odin would be so cruel to steal a baby from his enemies and raise it as your own?_ But still, doubt clouded his mind. He had to know for sure. Asking Odin or his mother was out of the question, and he couldn't exactly return to Jotunheim to ask  _them,_ could he? No, he couldn't. But then, realization hit him. There was another way. Another way to know for certain.

"How would the guard even know?" Volstagg's voice cut through his train of thoughts.

"I told him." Loki said, and he was met by four stares.

"What?" Fandral asked.

"I told him to go to Odin after we left. He should be flogged for taking so long, we should have never reached Jotunheim."

"YOU TOLD THE GUARD?" Volstagg asked incredulously

"I saved our lives. And Thor's. I had no idea Father would banish him for what he did." He was tired of explaining himself. He saved their lifes. A bit of gratitude was in order. But he knew that they would suspect him of scheming the whole event, hoping that Odin would banish Thor for his deeds. He didn't even try to convince them otherwise, for they would not believe him. After all, who believes a liesmith?

"Loki, you must go to the Allfather and convince him to change his mind." Sif looked pleadingly at him. He felt his heart hardening. _No feelings for Thor? Would you do t_ _he same for me? Would you?_ Not that the Allfather would listen to him.

"And if I do, then what? I love Thor more dearly than any of you, but you know who he is." and he hadn't exactly forgotten the words his brother spoke to him before the battle (know your place, brother), "he's arrogant, he's reckless, he's dangerous. You saw how he was today. Is that what Asgard needs from its king?" The anger was surging inside him. Even after all this, they still didn't see his brother for what he was. A liability. No, they _refused_ to see Thor for what he is. He knew he would never convince them, that they would never open their eyes. They suspected him, and they did not trust him. His jealousy would be a far better reason for the whole situation than the reason that Thor was stupid and dangerous. He was sick of it all. Everything he did was placed in a wrong light. He would never be able to convince them that what he did was in Asgard's best interest, and not for some selfish desire. He left. When he was out of sight, he stopped, to eavesdrop.

"He speaks of the good of Asgard, but he's always been jealous of Thor!" Sif's word cut through him like a knife, mostly because it was Sif who said them. _And without reason?_ he wanted to shout back, _Thor always had everything, and I nothing. Respect. Admiration. Love._ And he didn't even do this out of jealousy. His heart bled.

"We should be grateful to him, he saved our lives." _Should be, not are._

"Laufey said, there were traitors in the house of Odin." Hogun spoke softly, as always. "A master of magic could bring three Jotuns into Asgard."

"Loki always has been one for mischief, but you are talking about something else entirely." Fandral said.

He stopped listening and walked away. They did not trust him. They never did. Not even Sif. So she was playing with him. She didn't love him as she said she did. _Lies, lies, lies. Always lies, everywere lies._ But he pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He had other things to worry about. His steps took him deep into the bowels of Gladsheim, to deep and hidden places. The Weapons Vault.

At the end of the corridor, he saw the Blue Casket, waiting for him. It seemed to call out to him. When he approached it, he could feel his heartbeat quickening. He began to sweat. _This is it,_ flashed through his mind, _the moment of truth._

And he grabbed the Casket with both his hands.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.


	10. Revelations

Loki lifted the Casket from its pedestal and felt a strange power surging though his veins.

"STOP!" a voice boomed. _Odin!_ He put the Casket down, but did not turn to look upon his father.

"Am I cursed?" he asked his father.

"No" 

"What am I?"

"You're my son." Odin replied, but he had hesitated for a second, and Loki had noticed.  _Liar,_ he hissed inwardly. He turned around, his skin blue for all the world to see, and he fixed his crimson eyes upon the man who claimed to be his father. His skin slowly turned back to it's usual white.

"What more than that?" but he knew the answer already. He was a Jotun, a Frost Giant, a  _monster._ But how was it possible? He wanted answers. He  _deserved_ answers. He started to walk slowly towards Odin. "The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" He tried to keep his voice level, but anger and grief at this betrayal were already edging in his voice.

Odin fell silent, and he turned his gaze towards the ground, as if he was ashamed. "No!" Then, he lifted his gaze and looked straight into his eyes. "In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small, for a giant's offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son."

Loki felt like he was just punched in the stomach.  _Laufeyson._ _Not only am I a monster, but I am also the son of Asgard's greatest enemy._ _Abandoned? So they did not want me either. But why? Why would he take me? What purpose could he have?_

"Laufeyson?" The pain was now clear in his voice.

"Yes"

He couldn't believe his ears. He had always known he was different, and always wondered why, but this, this was far worse than any possible theory he had.  _I am a monster. I am the monster that are used to scare little children. The monsters we have been taught to hate. That is why. That is why he never loved me, that is why no one could possibly ever love me. I might have been better off if he left me to starve that day._

"Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood, why would you take me?"  _  
_

 _"_ You were an innocent child!"

 _Liar! I have seen many aspect of you, Odin Allfather, but mercy isn't one of them. You would not have saved me because I was suffering. The only mercy you would have given an abandoned Jotun child is the mercy of a quick death._ "You took me for a purpose. What was it?"

Odin didn't respond,he just looked at him, expression unreadable.

"TELL ME!" he cried out, and tears were brimming in his eyes.  _No, I will not grant him that._

"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace. Through you."

"Wha.."

"But those plans no longer matter!"

The tears started to roll down his cheek. So that was it. He was nothing more than a pawn, a pawn in a game that he didn't even realized was being played. He was nothing more than a political means to an end. Something Odin took so that Laufey would behave himself. All these years, he was led to believe that he was born to be a king. A king, as it turned out, of Jotunheim. After years of thinking he was an Æsir, they would send him to that wretched realm, to  _rule_ them. As if the Jotnar would allow a Frost Giant, raised in Asgard, who had adopted the Æsir culture, to rule them. He would have been killed the very instant they had dumped him on Jotunheim.

_You are not an Æsir. You are a monster. A monkey dressed in clothes, led  to believe he was a man. A freak._

"So I'm nothing more than another stolen relic, locked up here, until you might have use for me." His grief was slowly turning towards anger. Anger for this betrayal. Anger for a lifetime of lies. Anger towards the man who claimed to love him, but never did anything to support that claim.

"Why do you twist my words?" Odin asked, and there was a definite desperate tone in his voice.

 _"_ You could have told me what I was from the beginning? Why didn't you?" It would have been kinder. If he was never given hope, he could never have been hurt. Loki hated hope, for, in his mind, it was synonymous to hurt.

"You are my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth." 

"What, because I.. I.. I am the monster that parents tell their children about at night?"  _I hate you. I hate you. You claim to love me, but you hate me as well, I know it._

"No...no.."

"It all makes sense now. Why you favored Thor, all these years!" Odin was definitely swaying by now, and he had to sit down. But Loki wasn't finished." Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on your throne of Asgard!" He spat out venomously. But then, he noticed Odin lying on the floor. He was unconscious. His anger dissipating (for now) he knelt by his father's side, worried.  He hesitantly put his hand on Odin's. He was sleeping.  _The Odinsleep._ _Not now, not..."_

"GUARDS" he bellowed. "Guards, please help!" A couple of guardsmen hurried to his side, but he was only looking at his father. 

 

 

****

 

He was sitting with Frigga by his father's bedside. Odin was still soundly sleeping, but other thoughts were plaging him.  _You caused this. You forced him into the Odinsleep. He took you in, he cared for you, and this is how you repay him. With ingratitude. Odin must think him so weak, even weaker than he already thought._ But he wasn't weak. He would show his father, he would show all of Asgard, that Loki ODINSON was not a weakling. He badly wanted to prove to Odin that he was NOT, and will NEVER be a Jotun.  _Aah, but you were never one of the Æsir as well. You are neither. You are no one._ He quelled that voice violently. He was the Son of Odin, and he would prove it. He would kill every Jotun if he had to.

"I asked him to be honest with you from the beginning. There should be no secrets in the family." his mother's voice was comforting, as always, but it did not erase his questions.

"So why did he lie?" he retorted.

"He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different.' But he was different, he had known it even before the great lie of his existence had been revealed. He was different. He was  _inferior. "_ You are our son, Loki, and we your family. You must know that." He believed her (in her case at any rate), and he felt a great rush of affection towards the woman that was his mother, natural or not. In her eyes, he was always equal to Thor. She had always loved and supported him. 

"You can speak to him." she continued. "He can see and hear us, even now."

"How long will it last?"

"I don't know. This time it's different. We were unprepared."

"I never get used to seeing him like this", he confessed, " the most powerful being in the Nine Realms, lying helpless, until his body is restored.'

'He has put it off for so long now., that I fear..." her voice trailed off. "You are a good son. You musn't lose that your father will return to us. And your brother."

That piqued his interest.  _Thor isn't wholly lost._ "What hope is there for Thor?"

"There is always a purpose to everything your father does. Thor may yet find a way home."

 _Well, that's some good news, I guess._ He rose from his seat and walked towards the door, but it opened at its own accord. A goup of Einherjar were standing outside, and went to their knees before him, in a bow.  _That is strange. They only bow for the ..._

Then, a counselor walked into the room and knelt before him. He was carrying Gungnir. His brow furrowed, and he looked at his mother in confusion.

"Thor is banished." she declared with a loud voice. "The line of succesion falls to you. Until Odin awakens, Asgard is yours." 

He couldn't believe it. _I am king? The adopted Frost Giant, the second son, the younger brother, WAS KING?_ He had dreamed of this moment, but never thought it would actually come to pass. The throne was for Thor, everyone knew that. But as he looked down at the counselor, who offered him the spear of his father, he took it. He was given a chance. A chance to rule. A chance to show everybody what he was made of, what he was capable of. He could make them see. He could show them what a great king he could be, would be. And as long as Thor and Odin were 'away', there was no one else. He finally had his moment in the sun. A chance to earn the respect that he deserved. The weight of Gungnir felt glorious in his hands. 

"Make your father proud." his mother said, and he turned around, smirking at the spear in his hand, the power he now possessed.

"My king!"

 

 

***

He was sitting on the throne. _Who would have thought?_ he asked himself. He smirked, but his smirk soon turned into a grimace.  _It is a hellishly uncomfortable seat._ The voice that kept saying that it was because he was never meant to sit on it was easily ignored. If only he could ignore the rest of the courtiers so easily. Oh, they were respectful, but barely. They didn't even try to hush their whispers. He had heard them; that, now Odin was asleep, they should end Thor's banishment and give him the throne, as was the Allfather's intent. Everytime he heard those words, his anger flared inside him; they didn't even want to give him a chance. No matter what Thor had done, no matter how stupid he had been, he was still preferred to Loki, who could be a better king without even trying. But the love the Æsir had for Thor was not easily forgotten, and neither was the scorn they held towards him. Plus, many Æsir approved of Thor's actions, and whispered that the Allfather had been to lenient with these monsters, and that the eradication of the Jotnar wasn' necessarily a bad thing.

Then, suddenly, he heard footsteps. A group of four people were approaching. He smirked, for he already knew who they were.

"Allfather, we must speak with you, urgently." Sif's voice echoed through the hall. She was accompanied by the Warriors Three, and all had their fists on their heart, as a sign of respect. Then, they stopped dead in their tracks; they had seen him. 

"My friends!" he said, and his voice ran with mockery.  _They were never your friends. They were Thor's friends._

"Where is Odin?" Fandral demanded.

"Father has fallen into the Odinsleep. Mother fears he may never awaken again." He did not try to look sad, for he knew that they would see right through it.

"We would speak with her."  _What? I am not good enough for you? I am your king!_ But then again, they suspected him of plotting all this, so it was only natural that they did not come to him with their concerns.

"She has refused to leave my father's bedside. You can bring your urgent matter to me." He rose from the throne and slammed the hilt of Gungnir on the ground with a dull thud. "Your king." he stated.

Hesitantly, they knelt before him.

"My King," Sif addressed him, with a voice filled with cynicism, "we would ask that you end Thor's banishment."

He snorted. They really didn't think he was capable, did they. They all thought him weak. "My first command cannot be to undo the Allfather's last. We're on the brink of war with Jotunheim. Our people need a sense of continuity, in order to feel safe in these difficult times. All of us must stand together, for the good of Asgard." While speaking, he slowly descended the stairs in front of the throne. 

Furiously, Sif rose, and she looked like she was going to punch him, but luckily, Fandral stopped her, and he silently thanked him for it. He would have hated to throw Sif in the dungeon.

"Yes... of course" Fandral said, with a smirk on his lips. Did he really think that the God Of Mischief would not be able to see through this deception? They were going to fetch Thor, permission or not.

"Good, then you will wait for my word."

Volstagg chuckled, as if there was anything funny about this situation, this thinly veiled hostility between the four warriors and himself. "If I may, beg the indulgence of your Majesty, to perhaps reconsider..."

"We're done!" Loki stated.

They rose, and one by one, they left, until only Sif remained. She merely smirked at him, dangerously, and left as well.

 _How did it come to this?_ he asked himself, as he watched her leave.

****

He retired to his room, tired of all this travelling. He had gone to Midgard first, to talk with Thor. Lying to him pained Loki, especially when he saw how sorry Thor really was, and he felt really ill when he had told him that Odin was dead and that Frigga never wanted to see him again. But he had to do it, otherwise Thor would get in the way of his plans.  _I will make it up to you. After this is finished, after Odin makes me king, I will come and get you. But I need you to stay where you are now._

Then he had gone to Jotunheim, officially for diplomatic reasons, but he had a different agenda; revenge. Revenge on the father that left him to die and revenge on that race of monsters. He was an Æsir, not a Jotun, and he would prove it. Plus, if he wiped all those miserable Jotnar from existence, maybe then they would give him the respect and admiration he so craved for. He could already see his father, honoring him, proclaiming him heir to the throne of Asgard. He could see his mother with tears of joy in her eyes, proud of the man her adopted son had become. He could see Thor standing by his side, bowing before him, declaring that they were equals. He could see Sif smiling at him with love and adoration in her eyes. And then finally, everything will be as it should.

He wanted to unlock his chamber door, but he found it already unlocked. He opened the door and light pooled into the otherwise dark room, and he could see a figure sitting on his bed.

"Sif!"

"Loki!"

"What brings you into my chambers at so late an hour? Surely you must realize that you are trespassing the royal...."

"Loki, please, no more." she held up her hand and silently begged him to shut up. "I did not come here to fight."

"Then why are you here?"

"To ask you once again to bring Thor back!"

"Sif, I already told you..."

"I know what you have done, Loki", she cut him off, "I know that it was you who smuggled in the Frost Giants on the day of the coronation. You wanted to prove that Thor was not ready, and you were right. I know that it was not your intent to go to Jotunheim, I could see it in your eyes. I know that you didn't want Thor to get banished. But something has happened. Why don't you want Thor to come home? What are you planning? Please, Loki, tell me, so I can help you."

"I can't bring Thor back, even if I wanted to. The spell the Allfather used to strip his powers from him is beyond my understanding. The only one that can break the spell is Thor itself."  _But you did not tell him that, did you? No, you told him he could never come back._

Sif looked at him warily, and he saw that she did not believe him. He did not expect her to. He sighed. "Why can't you just give me a chance? Why is it so difficult to have faith in me? I assure you, I can handle this." She looked at him and shaked her head: "You are not you, Loki. This whole situation has twisted you into something you are not. I offer you my help, Loki. I will help you to find yourself again, if only you would let me."

 _Haven't you heard? I never existed._ "Until he finds his own way into Asgard, Thor will remain exiled. That is my order." When she saw the finality in his eyes, she looked defeated, and rose to leave. Before she could leave the room, however, he put a hand on her shoulder.

"I know that you and the Warriors Three are going to fetch Thor, and although I plead you to remain in Asgard and have faith in me, I will not stop you. But now this; if you leave, you will ignore the express command of your king, and you will commit treason. I will have no other choice than to act. If you leave, you will become my enemy."

A single tear made its way down her cheek, but she merely nodded and left. 

****

He was standing on the balcony when he saw the Bifrost being activated, and he knew who it was and where they were going. The Lady Sif and the Warriors Three had gone to Midgard, to fetch Thor. Not only had they betrayed him, Loki, but they had also betrayed their king. He had never expected Sif to heed his words, but it hurt nonetheless. The battered remnants of his heart bled at this new betrayal, but he steeled himself and walked away.

He went down into the Weapons Vault and slammed Gungnir against the floor. The bars disappeared and the Destroyer came forwards.

"Ensure my brother does not return!" Then, he thought of Sif, the woman he loved, the woman that claimed to love him, the woman that betrayed him, and anger and hate surged deep within him.

"Destroy everything!"

_So, the die has been cast._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a difficult chapter for me, because everything that IS Loki changes in this chapter, and I didn't want to vilify him too much (I think he's more of a wounded soul than a real evil villain), but, in the movies, he does want Thor out of the way, and he will do whatever it takes (even almost killing Sif) But i hope I did a decent job.
> 
>  
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated


	11. Mad World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter: "Mad World", is the title of a song by Gary Jules. It is the perfect Loki song. You don't believe me? Check this out.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg-jjlQjSlo
> 
> I have not procured the rights to any of these characters in the last two days, so everything still belongs to Marvel. I just use them because there is a story in my head that needs to be written. Otherwise, I'll go insane.

After he had awoken the Destroyer, it was time to put his plan into motion. Now that Sif and Thor's friends had betrayed him  _again,_ he had no more constraints. They would never respect him as their king. They thought him weak and pitiful. Well, when they returned and had witnessed his  _greatness,_  they would all be granted a long stay in the dungeons to think about this. Ignoring a king's command is not something that is done lightly. But first, he had another betrayal to deal with.

As he crossed the Bifrost towards the Observatory, he saw Heimdall watching him. He felt the corners of his lips quirking up in a smirk

"Tell me, Loki, how did you get the Jotuns into Asgard?"

"You think the Bifrost is the only way in and out of this Realm? There are secret paths between the worlds, to which, even you with all your gifts are blind"  _And you are blind, just like Asgard. Putting their entire trust on the gift of one man, who can supposedly see everything. Well, when this is done, I will remedy that.  But YOU won't be here to witness it._ " But I have need of them no longer, now that I am king. And I say that for your act of treason, you are relieved of your duties as gatekeeper and no longer citizen of Asgard."

Heimdall just looked at him with that unsettling gaze of his. "Then I need no longer obey you" and suddenly, he drew his sword, ready to swing.  _Fool! Don't you think I anticipated this?_  And before the sword could strike, he opened a pocket dimension, pulled out the Casket of Ancient Winters and used it's power against the Gatekeeper, freezing him solid. While he was using the Casket, he once more took on his Jotun appearance, and he saw Heimdall's golden eyes watching him intently.

He walked past the frozen Guardian, opened the Bifrost and sent the Destroyer to Midgard, to stop Thor and his comrades. His heart ached when he thought of Sif, but he pushed those thoughts out of his mind and berated himself. Now was not the time for softness. He had to be strong now, more than ever.

He watched the Destroyer land on Midgard, surrounded by mortals in suits and several black horseless carriages.  _Destroy!_ he thought, and watched with pleasure as the Destroyer blew up their carriages, causing the mortals to scramble away in fear.  _This is power!_

The Destroyer entered the town, and took his order literally; he blew up several of the houses in the village. Then, it spotted Sif and the Warriors Three, standing together, weapons drawn.  _So, they decided to fight. So be it._ The pang of remorse he felt was quickly surpressed by his rage at thei betrayal.  _Traitors deserve to die._

He wasn't paying attention for a moment, and when he looked again, Sif was gone. He had no time to contemplate this, for Fandral and Hogun threw Volstagg at the Destroyer. His mighty roar turned into a yelp when the Destoyer swatted him away as if he was a fly. He landed on one of those machines, and grunted from the pain, but still had a smug look on his face when he looked up at the Destroyer's metal face.  _Well, that can be easily remedied. Die, traitor!_

Then, the Destroyer's neck was suddenly pierced by a sword.  _Sif._ The Destroyer momentarily powered down, and he saw a victorious smirk appearing on her face. Once more steeling his heart, he made the Destroyer twist it's body, so it was now turned upwards. He shot a beam of fire towards her, but she narrowly avoided it. Secretly, he was relieved, but he did not allow himself to feel that way anymore. She was his enemy. She deserved to be destroyed.

Fuelled with rage again, he shot a beam towards the retreating group, causing Sif to be thrown away. The Warriors Three came to her aid, but when she scrambled back to her feat, he shot a beam towards them again, causing all of them to fly away. He saw Volstagg rising once more, so he blew up the house he was in. Thor and the mortals who had stayed in the town were covered in glass. Then, he saw Sif in cover behind one of the carriages, and moved towards her. But so did Thor. He knelt beside her, and while he could not understand the words he was saying, he saw Thor grabbing Sif's head with both hands. Then, they both ran away, saying something to the Warriors Three, and they and Sif left with the mortals. Now, it was just his brother and the Destroyer. His brother, without his power, against a metal monstrosity that was very aptly named.

Thor wasn't armed or anything. He just slowly walked towards the Destroyer, while his friends were watching behind him. The mortal,  _his_ mortal, was clearly struggling to get to him, to drag him away for the danger.  _Sentiment._ his mind hissed.

Thor approached the metal monster without hesitation, and although he despised himself for it, he couldn't help but admire the courage that Thor was displaying.  _All of this to protect some pathetic mortals he had just met._ He had clearly grown. 

"Brothe, whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry."  _What is he doing?_ He ran his finger over his mouth, contemplating Thor's words, "but these people are innocent. Taking their lives would gain you nothing." He stood still, right before the Destroyer, who had opened his visor, the flames withing just one thought away. "So take my life, and end this!"

_What has happened to him? What had caused this change? Was it the mortal?_ His mind was racing with questions. He never wanted to kill Thor. He merely wanted to prevent him from intervening with his plans. He did not hate him, not really. He had always loved his brother, and now this change had made him... 

_But I cannot have him interfere with my plans. I have to do something._ So he turned his visor down, turned away, but gave Thor a vicious backhand that was sure to keep him out for at least a couple of hours, if not more.

He saw the mortal running at Thor, even while she was in firing range, and he had to commend her on her courage. But, it was no longer his concern; Thor was down, and that was all that mattered. He turned the Destroyer around and made it walk away, keeping his promise to his brother.

But then, he heard a rumble, and when he turned around, and he saw lightning flashing, and Thor was up once more, and he had regained his power. He quickly shot a beam at him, but Thor threw Mjolnir, hitting him on the head and deflecting his beam.  _Damn. Why did he have to play the hero? Why does he always have to play the hero?_ Apparently, Thor's sacrifice made him worthy of his powers once more. Loki had inadvertently helped him regain his powers. While a part of him was furious about this, because now he had the power to stop him, a part of him was relieved that his brother was safe and unharmed.

Then, Thor used his hammer to create some sort of tornado, lifting the Destroyer up in the sky. All the beams he shot at Thor deflected, until Thor became so close that the heat of the beam caused the Destroyer to explode, and it fell out of the sky, devoid of power.

When he lost control over the Destroyer, Loki cursed and was happy at the same time. Happy because both Thor and Sif were still alive, and angry because they were still alive, and could possibly interfere with his plans. But then, realization hit him; while Heimdall was frozen, they had no way to return to Asgard. The only ones able to use the Bifrost was he. And speaking of using the Bifrost, it was high time to commence the final part of his plan.

He opened the Bifrost, and four Jotuns appeared before him; Laufey and three of his guards. 

"Welcome to Asgard." he greeted them, and Laufey only smirked.

They left two of his guards at the Observatory, guarding the frozen Heimdall, while Loki accompanied Laufey and the other Jotun to the Royal bedchamber.

 

****

 

The two Jotuns opened the door to the bedroom, and Loki inwardly cursed; Frigga was still there. That was not part of his plan. He would not allow them to hurt her. She was carrying a sword, and when the two Jotuns approached, she cut down the guard, only to be flung aside by Laufey, without so much as a second glance. Loki felt his hate towards his father increase, when he carelessly struck the woman that had always loved and cared about him.  _You will pay for this. For this, and for all the rest._

Then, Laufey bend over the sleeping figure of Odin, and opened his left eye with his fingers.   


" It's said you can still hear and see what transpires around you. I hope it's true, so that you may know your death came at the hand of Laufey." He raised an ice blade, ready to stab the Allfather.

Loki chose that moment to intervene; he shot a blast from Gungnir into his back, and he was thrown away, . He felt an enormous weight dropping from his shoulders, seeing his father, lying on the floor, dying. "And your death came by the son of Odin."  _Now they will know. Now he will know. Now there will never be any doubt anymore. I reject my heritage. I am Odin's son. I am Odinson._ Laufey looked at him once more, confusion and betrayal written in his eyes.  _You have no right to look at me like that._ He furiously shot another blast at him, killing him.

"Loki," his mother said, scrambling on her feet, and she ran to embrace him, "you saved him."

Relishing the hug, he reluctantly pulled away. "I swear to you, mother, that they will pay for what they have done today."

"LOKI!" He whipped his head around.  _No.... that's impossible. That can't be.._

Thor entered the chamber, his red cloak billowing.

"Thor!" his mother exclaimed, and she  ran towards him, 'I knew you would return to us." She hugged him, but Thor kept his eyes fixed on Loki, and Loki thought he had never seen him so angry, so  _judgemental._ It made him want to laugh. 

"Why don't you tell her? How you send the Destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me?" Thor growled

"What?" Frigga sounded confused

_They were your friends, never mine. They loved you, never me. They betrayed me, the rightfull king, and I had every right to kill them._ "Why, I must have been enforcing Father's last command."

"You're a talented liar, brother, always have been."

"It's good to have you back." _To soon, you fool._ "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim!" And, with those words, he shot a blast at Thor, blasting him through the palace walls. He did not stop to watch, but immediately ran towards the courtyard, where his horse was waiting for him. He rode to the Observatory as hard as he could. When he arrived, he saw that Heimdall was missing, and there were two slain Frost Giants lying on the floor. _He must have broken free, killed the Jotuns and opened the Bifrost for Thor and the others. I should have moved him to storage, or put him in a cell of sorts. Fool._

He put Gungnir in the Biforst pedestal, activating it, and aimed its beam at Jotunheim. When it was activated, he froze the energy source so that it would continue to function, even if Gungnir was no longer powering it. And if the Bifrost remained active, the energy that it was sending towards Jotunheim would rip apart the very planet.  _Finally, I will finish what MY father started. I will whipe that race of monsters from existence. Then, nobody will doubt the strength of Loki Odinson. And father will see that I am not a Frost Giant, but his son, and he will be so proud of me. He will love me._ He watched the energy beginning to spread, forming the shape of a tree.  _Yggdrasil,_ he thought.  _I will correct your mistake. I will wipe out the dark stain on your perfect existence. I will be the hero Ygddrasil itself._

He heard his brother land behind him, looking at the tree in front of him with hesitation, yes, one could say,  _fear._

"You can't stop it. The Bifrost will build until it rips Jotunheim apart."

Thor, always the fool, stormed towards the base of the tree, ready to smash Mjolnir into it.  _Best not to take chances,_ he thought, and he blasted Thor away. 

"Why have you done this?" Thor asked, after he had scrambled back on your feet.

_Are you blind, or merely stupid?_ "To prove to Father that I am a worthy son"  _And not a small portion of personal revenge._ "When he wakes, I will have saved his life, I will have destroyed that race of monsters, and I will be true heir to the throne."  _I will have proven myself, to Father and to all of Asgard, and they will finally respect me._

"You can't kill an entire race!" Thor said stubbornly

"Why not?" he laughed. Thor was giving HIM lessons? Thor, who would have killed them all not three days ago?  _Oh, the irony._ But then his smirk fell; Thor was serious. "And what is this newfound love for the Frost Giants? You, who would have killed them all with your bare hands?"

"I have changed."

"So have I" and he hit Thor with Gungnir. "Now fight me!" and he swung the spear with all his might, knocking Thor off his feet. "I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I ONLY WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL."  _But I was denied even that. Always Thor's brother, hardly worth a glance, always second place, the least loved._

"I WILL NOT FIGHT YOU, BROTHER." Those words hurt him more than he could possibly say.

"I'm not your brother. I never was." he spat out

"Loki, this is madness."

"Is it madness? Is it? IS IT?" Tears started to brim in his eyes. He was not Thor's brother. He would never be. "I don't know what happened on Earth to make you so soft! Don't tell me it was that woman?" He wanted to goad Thor into being angy at him, because he could not bear the look Thor was giving him; confusion and pity. "... Oh, it was. Well maybe, when we're done here, I'll pay her a visit myself!"

Then, Thor lunged at him, but he caught Mjolnir with Gungnir, and they fell on the ground, Thor on top of him. He kicked him off and, ever fast and graceful, was already back on his feet in a split second. He swung Gungnir over his head at Thor, but he used Mjolnir to swipe his legs from under him, and he fell to the ground once more. He caught the next blow with his spear, and once again kicked Thor away. They exchanged blows, until Loki managed to hit Thor's back, causing him to fall over. He jumped, ready to pierce Thor, but he was already back on his feet, so he pierced the floor instead. While trying to pull it out, he managed to dodge Thor's blow, and used his spear as a pole to swing around it and kick Thor squarely in the chest. He laughed with derision. Then, they exchanged blows again, but Thor was somehow able to grab his wrist and threw him away. He fell on the floor, hard, and saw Thor jumping at him, swinging his hammer. He used Gungnir to shoot at him, but he was too close, and the force of the blast, along with the impact of the collision sent them both flying through the walls of the Obervatory, and they crashed on the Bifrost. During their flight, he was able to conceal himself, and created an illusion that flew over the side, barely managing to grab the ledge.

"Thor!" his illusion shouted, and Thor neared, warily.

"Brother, please." his image pleaded, and Thor complied, kneeling down to help. But when he tried to grab his hands, the image disappeared. He laughed at his brother, who again fell for that trick, lifted his concealment and stabbed Thor in his abdomen with Gungnir. He then made multiple copies of himself, and surrounded Thor.

"ENOUGH!" Thor yelled, and used his lightning to throw them all backwards. His copies disappeared, and he landed hard on the Bifrost, Gungnir slipping from his grasp. He was still groaning at the pain in his backside when Thor appeared above him. He trembled slightly, afraid what Thor would do, but then he gently laid Mjolnir on top of him. Although, gently? It was like he had put a mountain on him. He was unable to move, unable to lift the hammer. He screamed. He was pinned to the ground as Thor approached the now out of control Bifrost. The amount of energy was so massive that he could not approach the Observatory anymore.

"Look at you!" he taunted, despite the weight that was still crushing him. "The Mighty Thor... with all your strength. What good does it do you now, ha?'" That last word was more a grunt than anything else. "Did you hear me, brother? There's nothing you can do!"

Then, suddenly, the weight disappeared from his chest. Mjolnir flew back into the hand of its owner, and he slammed it down into the bridge below, and again, and again.

"What are you doing?"  _He will break it. He will break the Bifrost. That would cut of the power, but it will be broken beyond repair. He will have no way to see Midgard again, no way to visit his beloved mortal. "_ IF YOU DESTROY THE BRIDGE, YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!" 

He kept smashing the bridge. It was clear that he would not listen. Loki knew he had to do something. Thor would ruin everything. He would ruin Loki's greatest achievement. He had to stop him. He picked up Gungnir and ran towards Thor. _  
_

"Forgive me, Jane" Thor muttered, and then, just as Loki jumped to stab him, he brought Mjolnir down in one final smash, and the Bifrost shattered beneath his might. A giant explosion shattered the greatest part of the bridge, and part of the sea gave away to the void, and the Observatory disappeared in it. Loki and Thor flew off the edge, both grasping Gungnir, until something stopped them. Loki looked up.  _Odin._ His father was awake, and he was holding Thor's arm, holding them. Loki would tell him everything. He would understand. He must understand.

"I could have done it, father. I could have done it. For you, for all of us." _He had to understand. I did this for him. I am his son, not the spawn of a monster._

His father looked at him. "No, Loki."

And then it hit him; he was not one of them. He was never one of them. He would never be one of them. He was neither Jotun nor Æsir. He was no one. He had no place in the Universe. He was hated by all, and loved by none. He was a monster. Both his fathers did not love him. Both his fathers did not want him. He was alone. Alone.

_I am not Odin's son. I am not Frigga's son. I am  not Thor's brother. I am not Sif's lover. I am no one. I am an orphan, a monster, shunned by all, and rightly so._

He broke. Everything inside him just broke. He was no longer Loki Odinson. He was just a broken thing, and the pain was threatening to destroy him inside.

"Loki, no!" Thor was saying, but he wasn't listening. All he saw was Odin's eye, looking at him without any hint of affection, without disappointment even, without any sign that he cared at all.

So, he let go, and the last thing he saw and heard was Thor crying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as he disappeared into the void.

_He fell!_  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments, suggestions or questions? Let me know in the comment section below!


	12. After the Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title "After the Fall" is a music piece from Two Steps From Hell,

He fell. He kept falling. He had no idea how much time had passed since he had let go of Gungnir, when he let the Void swallow him. He was not even certain if there was still a thing like time. He did not know where he was, or how he got there, and it frustrated him. He had no control over his situation, and he hated that. There was nothing he could do, nothing but wait.

He did not know what had kept him alive all this time. First, he thought it was his magic, but he felt powerless, so he higly doubted that. Perhaps he was kept alive for some reason, he did not know. Of one thing he was certain; he was no longer within the boughs of Yggdrasil. He was floating in the Darkness, the Outer Rim of the Great World Tree. At least, he thought. He might as well be in another galaxy. Not that it mattered much.

He wanted to die. He wanted simply to die. That was why he had released his hold on the spear in the first place. He had no place in Asgard, not anymore, there was no one who cared about him, not anymore. He was a monster that had just killed his father and had tried to wipe his own race from existence. He was no one's son, no one's brother, no one's lover. He was nothing but a monster, filled with hatred, jealousy and bitterness. He wanted to die, he deserved to die. Not being able to die was the cruelest trick that was ever played on him.

 _Do they mourn me? Will they mourn the second prince, the Silvertongue, the Liesmith, the destroyer of worlds? Probably not. Frigga might._ His heart broke when he thought of Frigga, his mother (no matter what). The last time he had seen her, her face was a mask of horror, after he had blasted Thor through the palace walls. he had hurt her with his actions, of that he was certain, and it caused him more pain than anything else. _I have hurt Thor too._ He had seen it on his face, the hurt and confusion in his eyes when they fought, and the scream that had pierced his eyes and his very soul when he had let go. _I tried to kill him. I wanted to kill my own brother. Perhaps he wasn't my real brother, but I was raised with him. I am truly the monster they say I am._

Would Odin mourn him? Of that, he was not certain. Odin had never displayed any love or emotion towards him, except for anger or disappointment. He had done nothing to calm him when he discovered his true heritage. He had done nothing to help him when he was hanging over the edge, and did nothing when he had let go. Loki was pretty sure that, if it wasn't for Thor, he would not have been there in the first place.

 _Would SHE mourn me?_ _She betrayed me, chose my brother over me, forced me to take up arms against her. But I loved her, once. We were close, closer than I have ever been to anyone. She hurt me more than I could ever say, but she claimed she loved me._ Then again, her first love was her duty, and he was a traitor. Even if she would mourn him, she would hate herself for it.

A single tear made its way down his cheek, when he remebered who he was and what he had lost. Lost? How can you lose something you never owned? His entire existence was a lie. He, the God of Mischief and Lies, was the biggest lie in existence. It would be funny if it weren't so pathetic.

Asgard would not mourn him. Asgard hated him. And even if he somehow survived, he knew he could never return. He lost the only place he had ever called home. If he survived, he had no place to go to, no place that would accept him. _Better to die now._

But, the universe has a cruel sense of humor, because he did not die. He just... kept floating. Kept falling. Kept going. As if he was pulled towards something. As if something with an enormous power was pulling him towards his destination.

And then, one day, his feet hit solid ground. He looked around; he had landed on some sort of space rock, floating around in a strange universe. He was defintely out of Yggdrasil. He saw a strange formation of flying objects, that vaguely resembled stairs. He took a few moments to regain his composure, then he tried to stand. Afer floating around so long, it was difficult.  _Pathetic. I am a god, and I can't even stand on my own feet._ But after a few tries, he managed to walk a few steps, before he had to sit down again. Apparently, he had lost wathever muscles he had. He looked at his arms and legs and noticed for the first time how thin he actually was. His form was skeleton-like, with only a small layer of skin covering it. His hair, dirty and messy, had grown significantly, and now reached his shoulders, where it curled at the end. His face felt like a skull. 

Suddenly, he discovered he had a thirst. He had not drunk in Odin knows how long. With all the dignity he could manage, he scrambled up the stairs. There, the first thing he saw was the back of a chair. An enormous chair. A throne.

"Welcome, Loki Laufeyson. We have been expecting you." The voice was soft but oh so deadly, and a shiver ran down his spine.

"I am not Laufeyson." he knew that he should back down, that he should not argue with this creature, but he could not suppress the urge.

"Does it matter? Laufeyson, Odinson, no one's son? Names are pride. Names are vanity. Those qualities will serve you ill here. Now, get on your knees and kneel."

 _He is not joking. Do it! DO IT!_ "I am a prince of Asgard!" he said proudly, even though his gut twisted. "I bow for no man."

"Oh, but I am no man." The figure in the throne rose and turned towards him. When Loki saw his face, he had to use every ounce of willpower to not cower away in fear. "I am Thanos, first and foremost of the Deviants, ruler of Titan and soon ruler of all that is. And you will kneel." Then, Loki felt his knees moving without his accord, forced by a will that was far more potent than his own. "And you, you are nothing. You would do well to remember that."

Then, out of nothing, creatures appeared around him, grabbed him and dragged them away. He kicked and he screamed, to no avail. He tried to use his magic, but a pain like he had never felt before shot through his body, and he saw Thanos smirking at him. Then, everything went black.

 

 

*****

As it turned out, Loki Odinson did die that day. He was tortured without end, physically and mentally, until he was completely and utterly destroyed.They ripped his magic away from him, and it was like the skin was being torn from his bones. Thanos and his servant, who was called "The Other" looked into his heart and used his greatest fears and emotions against him, breaking him mentally. And every day, when they left him, he cried, praying to evertything in the Universe that they would allow him to die. Every form of resistence and hope was tortured out of him. They broke him. He was no longer Loki Odinson of Asgard. He was nothing.

He was nothing, a broken, ruined husk of a man. And from those ashes, the ashes of everything he used to be, he was reassembled. He was made again into a more fitting and obedient form. They moulded him into a servant of Thanos, an agent of destruction. They thought him how to be cold, uncaring, merciless, to have fun with the suffering of others. Then, they gave him his name back; Loki Odinson, servant of Thanos. And then, the new Loki was given his task.

He was to go to Midgard, to retrieve a powerful artifact; the Tesseract, and deliver it to Thanos. In return, he would be granted dominion over Midgard and its inhabitants, to rule as their king. They gave him an army, the Chitauri, to accomplish this glorious purpose. They also gave him a sceptre, a very powerful weapon, able to control the Tesseract as well as the minds of people. With it, he could open a portal to Midgard, obtain the Tesseract, modify it so it can remain stable, open another portal, releasing the Chitauri, who could then conquer the earth. Then, he would give the Tesseract to his master, Thanos. But if he failed, they said, he would know pain like he never had before, and there was not a place in all the universes he could hide.

Loki thougth of his family, what they would say if they saw their adopted son like this, how they would react when he would try to coquer Midgard. But Thanos sensed his resistance, and laughed, for he knew that the sceptre would corrupt the mind of his wielder, and that, when under its spell, his servant would kill his brother without qualms if given the chance. And when he succeeded, when Thanos finally had his hands on the Tesseract, well... his services would be no longer required.

Loki breathed in, opened the portal, and stepped through.

 

 

 

 


	13. Glorious purpose

There was a bright blue flash, and the next thing he saw were several orange lamps surrounding him. He stood on some sort of platform, in a large dark room. He saw several forms slowly approaching him, warily, with some form of weapon drawn. In the back, there were more people, the most noticable a large man, dressed in black, with an eyepatch. _The universe does have a strange sense of humor._ He also recognized the elderly man; Erik Selvig, his name was. Loki had studied the Tesseract through his mind, had even controlled him for a while.  _One of Thor's friends._

He smirked; he was on Midgard. He could see the Tesseract, and he could see the faint blue glow of the energy above him illuminating the room, bathing it in an eerie blue color.

"Sir," the man with the eyepatch called out to him, "please put down the spear!" 

The spear in his hand seemed to pulse. He looked at it, and the voice of Thanos hissed through his mind.  _Attack! Show them that you mean it. Kill a few._ He aimed his spear for the man with the eyepatch and shot a blast of blue energy at him, but the man next to him pushed him out of harm's way.  _Keen reflexes. I could use a man like that._

The other mortals in the room began to open fire at him, but their projectiles were to weak and petty to harm him. He lunged at one of them, stabbing him in the chest. Then, with a flick of his hand, he threw several knives, burying them deep into several throats. He shot a blast at a woman with a white jacket, incapacitating her. Then, he rounded at another agent who was trying to sneak up on him and slashed him open. Several men were firing at him now, including the one that had saved the man in black. When he shot back, he managed to hit the two men behind, but the other rolled out of the way just in time.  _Impressive. For a mortal._ Then, he kicked away the man that he had slashed before, and he hit the wall with a sickening crunch.

He prepared himself, just getting warmed up, but there was no man left standig.  _A pathetic display, really. These spineless worms will not  be able to resist the Master's army, when it comes. This is not conquest, this is slaughter._ He looked around. Their workplace was destroyed, as far as he could see. Not that it mattered much. He had to collect what he came for and then leave. Time is of the essence.

He noticed that the man with the keen reflexes began to stir, so he marched over to him. The man got up and tried to put his weapon on him, but he caught his fist. It did not take much pressure for the other man to squirm from his grip.  _Mortals truely are weak and pathetic creatures._

"You have heart!" and he touched the man's chest with the tip of his sceptre. The tip became blue with the energy from the core, and he saw it crawling through the mortal's veins until it reached his eyes, and after darkening for a second, they became blue as well. The Other had explained that this would allow him to completely control the mind of others, and read it. _Agent Barton. Also known as Hawkeye_. He released the grip on the mortal's wrist, and after a second, the mortal put his firearm back in its holder. Satisfied, he went to the other surviving humans and did the same. He would need all the help he could get, if his mission was to succeed. He had just finished with the last one when he heard the footsteps of someone trying to escape.

"Please don't" he said softly, and the footsteps halted. It was the man with the eyepatch, Director Nick Fury, if his information was correct. "I still need that."

"This doesn't have to get any messier." Fury responded.  _Fool!_

"Of course it does. I've come too far for anything else." Fury now turned fully towards him. "I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose." 

"Loki.", Selvig spoke up, "brother of Thor." He turned towards him.  _HE'S NOT MY BROTHER, YOU INSOLENT MORTAL!_ He wanted nothing more than to silence the insolent wretch, but he would still need him later. But before he could say anything, Fury spoke again.

"We have no quarrel with your people."  _You have the Tesseract, and therefore, a quarrel with the Master._

"An ant has no quarrel with a boot."

"Are you planning to step on us?"  His brow furrowed in disbelieve, and his voice sounded incredulous. 

"I come with glad tidings." he walked towards Selvig. "Of a world made free."

"Free from what?" Fury asked.

"Freedom. Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart," he turned around and placed the tip of his spear on Selvig's chest, accompanied by the strange hum, "you will know peace." The doctor's eyes became blue and glossy, signalling that he was under control.

"Yeah, you say peace, but I kinda think you mean the other thing."  _Sarcasm, really?_

Then, Barton approached him. "Sir, Director Fury is stalling you. This place is about to blow, and drop a hundred feet of rock on us." And he was right, the enegy that had massed in the dome when he had transported himself was becoming unstable. "He means to bury us."

"Like the pharaos of old." Fury agreed, and you could hear a twinge of amusement in his voice.  _A rarity, surely._

"He's right, the portal is collapsing in on itself." Selvig was looking at some kind of screen, "we have maybe two minutes before this goes critical."

He looked at Barton. "Well then..." Barton nodded, shot Fury, and they left, taking the case containing the Tesseract with them.

Then, pain jolted through his body, and when he doubled over, he heard Thanos again. _Well done, my servant. The Tesseract is in our hands. Deliver it to me, and I will grand you your deserved reward. Fail, howerver..._  His mind was suddenly filled with images, and he shuddered.  _Focus, Loki._

A fence opened up, and they reached an open space, filled with "cars" or so they are called. Another mortal, a woman, joined them.

"We need these vehicles" and he pointed at a large "truck". Loki climbed in the open back and crouched down. He could feel the woman's gaze on him.

"Who is that?" she asked Barton, but he merely shrugged and said: "They didn't tell me." That seemed to placate the woman, who started to walk away, until a voice rang out out of a small black box. The Director's voice.

"Hill? Do you COPY? Barton has turned." 

Barton opened fire on the woman, Hill, but she managed to roll behind a wall. Barton jumped behind the steering weel and started the car, driving away. "His" other helpers followed in another car. Hill peered behind the corner and shot at him, several times, but she missed. 

Then, they were driving in some kind of tunnel. Other agents had picked up the Director's alarm, for there were several cars following them, and they were shooting at him. _I am a God, foolish mortals._ _Your weapons don't hurt me._ He shot a blast at the nearest car, making it drive up a ramp, and it flipped over and landed on its roof, right before the other cars, slowing them down.

Then, suddenly, another car appeared before them, driven by a woman. It was that Hill wench. She turned her car around, so that it was in opposite direction of theirs, and tried to push them back. She aimed her firearm and began to shoot at Barton, who shot back. Then, Barton steered to the right and managed to unbalance her car, so that it flipped around and was now behind them.

Then, he felt a shock, a shock that made the very earth tremble.  _The energy. It had collapsed on itself. If I am to bring the Chitauri to this world, I will have to find a way to stablize the energy._ The tunnel behind them began to collapse, and Hill was too slow; she got bureid. A grin spread over his face.

They reached the end of the tunnel, and were under the night sky. But above them, in some sort of metal flying machine (a helicopter, if he remebered correctly) they began to shoot at them. Barton abandoned the road, driving into the desert dust, causing great  dust clouds to form, concealing them from sight. But then, the helicopter flew over them, and was now in front of their car. Fury was in it, and he was shooting at them. _Well, I must hand it to this mortal; he does not die easily._ But he had enough of these games. He aimed his sceptre and shot the helicopter, causing it to fall out of the sky. But somehow, Fury had managed to get out of the machine before it crashed, and was still firing at him. But even he could not stop him anymore. He had the Tesseract, and he was gone.

Fase one of his plan was complete.

His master would be pleased.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of keeping Loki a sympathetic anti-hero instead of the ruthless merciless villain that he portrays in the Avengers, he himself is under mind control from the sceptre (I still think that is what happened in the movies).  
> Also, before he came to Midgard, Loki has done some studies about earth, mostly by controlling the mind of Erik Selvig (see Thor post-credit scene)


	14. Kneel!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Marvel Studios. I don't make any money writing this story, it's just for fun.

_Good, slave, everything is going according to plan_ , Thanos' voice rang through his head. A part of him bucked at the mere fact of being called a slave, but he remained subdued. If his time with Thanos had thought him anything, it was the value of humility, especially when talking to an all-powerfull alien warlord who could destroy you with a mere swat of his hand. Submitting made him feel weak and powerless, but compared to what Thanos could do, it was worth it.

Everything was coming together. He had made his hideout in an abandoned subway station, and transformed it into barracks for his henchmen and a laboratory for the scientist to work on the Tesseract. He had put Selvig in charge, seeing that he was the one who was working on the Tesseract with SHIELD. He had actually hoped to ensare Jane Foster, because she was Midgard's leading expert on portals and wormholes through space, her so-called Einstein-Rosen bridges, PLUS she was Thor's girlfriend, and he had promised to pay her a visit, after all. But it turned out she had left the country for Norway, and he had neither the time nor the patience to go look for her. For now, he had to make due with Selvig. After he had conquered Midgard, he would have all the time in the world to search for her.

He was sitting by himself, sceptre in hand. when it began to glow. The walls surrounding him began to dissipate, until he was surrounded by rock and empty space. The sceptre was a means of communication, given to him so that he could report his progress, but he knew better; it was to keep an eye on him. They used him, but they did not trust him. But only his mind was transported, not his body. 

"The Chitauri grow restless!" a soft, croaking voice resounded through the air. The Other.

"Let them gird themselves." Another version of him walked into his view, complete with horned helmet. "I will lead them into glorious battle."

"Battle!", the Other spat out, mockingly, "Against the meager might of Earth?"  

"Glorious, not lengthy, if your force is so...  _formidable_ as you claim." he sneered.

The Other whipped his head around:"You question us? You question HIM? He, who put the sceptre in your hand, who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose, when you were  _... cast out. Defeated."_ He felt his anger surging at this open display of mockery and contempt.

"I was king! The rightful king of Asgard. Betrayed." he bit back, and he thought of Sif and the Warriors Three, turning their back on him in the throne room, with Sif's dangerous and mocking smile etched in his memory. His heart gave the weakest of flutters. He was no longer capable of feeling anything for her. Anger, contempt, hate, these he allowed himself to have. Love is just another deadly weapon in the hands of Thanos. He could pluck your thoughts and feelings out of you and torment you with it, creating your worst fears and displaying them as reality. After a few days, Loki had prayed that his heart would just shrivel up and die.

"Your ambition is little." the Other jeered, "born of childish need. We look beyond the Earth, to greater worlds the Tesseract will unveil."

He could not resist it. "You don't have the Tesseract yet."

In the blink of an eye, the Other was before him, snarling, his hand raised, ready to strike.  

"I don't threaten," Loki said, but he brought the sceptre withing a few inches of the Other's face, "but until I open the doors, until your force is mine to command, you are but words."

"You will have your war, Asgardian. If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can not find you." The Other stopped circling when he stood behind him. Slowly, it raised his hand and brought it towards Loki's face, "You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as PAIN." He put his hand on Loki's cheek, and with a flash and a jolt of pain, his mind was back in his body on Midgard.

He had to find a way to open the portal. Failure was not an option.

*****

"Put it over there." Selvig said, and he pointed at an empty space in the laboratory. He turned around with a grin on his face, "Where did you find all these people?"

"SHIELD has no shortage of enemies, doctor." Barton responded. He was looking at some kind of portable information device. "Is this the stuff you need?" He showed Selvig the screen.

"Yes, irridium. It is found in meteorites, it forms anti-protons. Very hard to get hold off."

"Especially when SHIELD knows you need it." Barton sneered.

"Well, I didn't know." Loki chose that moment to come forward. "Hey!" Selvig said when he saw him. "The Tesseract is showing me so much. It's more than just knowledge, it's... truth." There was so much happiness inside his glossy eyes, you could almost think he was here on his own accord.

"I know." Loki responded, and a smirk appeared on his face, "what did it show you, Agent Barton?" He gave the man a sideway glance.

"My next target." the assassin replied.

"Tell me what you need."

Barton walked towards a desk with a large box on it. He opened it and picked up his bow. "I need a distraction. And an eyeball."

****

The flight to Stuttgart, Germany was relatively uneventfull, until they neared their destination. He explained his plan to his henchmen. He was going in to create a distraction and to obtain the eyeball. Hawkeye and his men would then open the door and retrieve the irridium necessary for stablizing the portal. Loki would then allow himself to be captured, so that the others could escape with the irridium, bring it to Selvig, who could then depart for New York to install the portal. While captured, Loki's sceptre's corruptive ablities would sow discord between his opponents, making them distust and dislike each other. It was a weapon of Thanos, after all, and he loved to sow discordance between his enemies. A divided foe is a weaker foe. Then, Barton and his team would stage a rescue mission, disabling the engines of SHIELD's flying headquarters, or the "Helicarrier" as Barton called it. They would also try to "unleash the monster" (apparently, a certain doctor Banner could not deal with stress and agitation very well), sowing more chaos. The carrier would crash, Earth's defenders would be scattered, leaving him and his Chitauri army virtually unopposed.

After a few hours of flight, they reached the location where the irridium was held; a museum. Apparently, the only way to access the storage rooms in the back was through "eyeball scanning", and therefore, they needed the curator's eye. They had brought along special instuments. He would commit the act in public, as to draw attention towards him. Therefore, he strolled casually past some cameras, knowing that SHIELD was probably monitoring every available camera and other device in the world. They knew he was here. Showtime.

****

He had changed into a Midgardian attire (a suit), and he was walking on the balcony above the entrance hall. His sceptre was disguised as a walking cane with a large blue stone in the handle. He had to wait for his men to clear the outside of the museum, so he was simply examining the art and listening to the violins playing downstairs.  _The artwork is not bad, for Midgardians._ Of course, it paled in comparison to the artwork found on Asgard, but with their limited lifespan and intelligence, these works were a worty feat. On any other occasion, he would have examined them more thoroughly, but now...

He walked down the stairs, playing with his cane. He flipped it over and smashed a security guard in the face, knocking him out cold. A few people shouted out in shock, but he paid them no mind. He grabbed the curator, a bald old man that was talking to a group of people and dragged him along until they reached some sort of table or altar, flanked by two bull heads. He threw him over it, and he landed hard on his back. He reached into his breast pocket and brought up the device. He clicked on a button and it popped open, revealing three legs and two small blade, illuminated in a blue colour. He pressed it again and the blades began to spin. Without any hesitation, he lowered the device on to the man's eye. The man began to trash violently as his eye was cut away, and screams filled the hall when people scrambled to get away from him. He smirked. When he got the confirmation that the door had opened, most of the people had fled the museum. He looked down at the corpse of the curator. Where his eye had been, there was a gaping hole, and the socked was covered with blood and other fltih. The man reminded him of Odin, with his one eye, and suddenly, it was Odin lying there instead of some worthless mortal. Bile rose in his throat at the side, but he scolded himself for being so weak. Odin had lied to him and betrayed him, after all, and he had only recently found out why. So he left the body without sparing it a second glance.

The humans continued to flee from him, and he smiled darkly, reveling in the terror he had created. His seiðr rippeled over him, and he was clad in his armor, complete with golden helmet and sceptre. He would give these mortals a show they would not soon forget. A demonstration of his power.

He left the museum, now fully in attire, and he heard sirens, and he saw cars belonging to city guardsmen, or "police" as they are called, approaching. He blasted the one closest to him, and it toppled over. Then, he created an illusion to stop the fleeing mass of people. They sreamed and scrambled backwards as they saw him appear before them.

"Kneel before me!" he commanded, but his words went lost in the uproar of the crowd. New illusions appeared in every corner, trapping the people within.

"I said.... KNEEL!" and he slammed his sceptre on the ground, causing a shockwave, intimidating the mortals. And then, one by one, they knelt before him. The thrill of seeing them submit to him was exhilarating. He opened his arms in a grand gesture and chuckled.

"Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were MADE to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

Then, slowly, an old man got on his feet and looked him straight in the eye, and he could not see a trace of doubt or fear in it. "Not to men like you."

Loki was impressed with the old man's courage, foolish as it was: "There are no men like me!"

"There are always men like you." the man said, and he saw a mix of contempt and pity in his eyes. He saw it and he hated it. The man would pay for his insolence. 

"Look to your elder, people." He smirked, and pointed his sceptre at the old man, "let him be an example."

He shot a blast at the man, but suddenly there was a flash of red, blue and white, and he was knocked off his feet when the blast of energy was reflected and hit him squarely in the chest. His head shot up and he saw a man in blue spandex, with stripes of red and white on his abdomen, a white star on his brow and chest, carrying a round metal shield , painted in red, white and blue. The metal of the shield was very strong, apparently, to be able to deflect the blasts from his sceptre.  _I know of this man. I have seen him in the SHIELD files; Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America._

"You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing."  Rogers voice carried such confidence, a few mortals were already beginning to stand up.

"The soldier." he snickered and got back on his feet, "A man out of time."

"I'm not the one who is out of time." the Captain said, and he could hear the whine of an incoming aircraft. Suddenly, a machine gun appeared out of the belly of the aircraft, and a female voice rang through the ari: "Loki, drop the weapon and stand down!" he smirked and shot at it, but it was able to dodge his blast. Simultaniouly, he was hit on the side by the Captain's shield.  _Both offence and defence. Impressive._ He saw the shield  ricocheting back, and the captain caught it. Then, Rogers punched him in the face. 

For a moment, he was too stunned to act.  _He punched me in the face? I, Loki, God of Mischief, was punched in the face by a mere mortal. The insolence._ But, to his comfort, the Captain was shocked with how little his punch had effected Loki. He was used to fight mortals, and for a mortal, he was strong, but he was no match for a god. But now that god was angry. Three quick strikes in rapid succesion knocked his shield away, and he puched the Captain in his stomach. He flew back towards the fountain, but looked up with defiance in his eyes. He threw his shield again, but this time Loki was prepared and knocked the shield out of its path, and it clattered harmlessly on the ground. The Captain was able to dodge three of his swipes and punched him in the side, but it had little effect. Loki swiveled his sceptre around and hit him in the back, causing him to fly forwards and fall hard on his face. He stalked towards him, put the sharp end of the sceptre on his neck, right under his helmet and hissed:; "Kneel!"

But then, somehow, the Captain knocked the spear away, managed to get on his feet and kicked him in the face: "Not today." But he managed to grab hold of the Captain's arm and threw him away. 

Then, he heard a faint sound and suddenly, two blasts of energy hit him in the chest and he flew away, crashing hard on the stairs. A miniature destroyer in red and gold armor landed, and suddenly, a lot of fireweapons were aimed at him.

"Make a move, Reindeer Games" a voice said. It was a strange voice, belonging to a human but unlike any voice he had ever heard. It was like if he was speaking as a machine. The firearms aimed at him however looked almost pathetic, but this was the chance to surrender himself. After all, Barton and his team were already far away. So he made his armor disappear and held up his hands in surrender.

"Good move!" the armor said. Then, the Captain stood next to him.

"Mr. Stark!" the Captain greeted

"Captain!" Stark acknowledged.

****

He was on board of a SHIELD jet, flying towards SHIELD HQ. The voice of Director Fury rang through the intercom.

"Is he saying anything?"

The red-headed female agent (Natasha Romanoff, Barton had said) replied: "Not a word."

"Just get him here, we're low on time." Romanoff turned off the intercom.

"I don't like it." Rogers said to Stark, who had removed his helmet.

"What? Rock of Ages giving up so easily?" Stark retorted. He had to hand it to the man, insufferable as he is, he had a good sense of humor.

"I don't remember it being ever that easy. That guy packs a wallop."

"Still, you are pretty spry, for an older fellow. What's your thing, Pilates?"  _Good, these two don't like each other very much. Turning them against each other won't be so difficult._

_"What?"_

"It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle."

Rogers gave Stark a long, hard look. "Fury didn't tell me he was calling you in."

"Yeah, there's a lot of things Fury doesn't tell you."  _Stark does not trust Fury either. A wise precaution, but this will only make it easier._ When he was sure that no one was watching, he smirked. Then suddenly, a storm broke loose, and lighting began to illuminate the sky.  _And here he comes. Took him long enough._ _  
_

"Where is this coming from?" Romanoff sounded unsure.

Rogers turned around and saw him looking anxiously out of the window, peering into the raging storm. "What's the matter? Scared of a little lighting?"

"I'm not overly fond of what follows." Loki answered. Then, there was a dull  _thud,_  and the plane shook vehemently. Stark grabbed his helmet and pressed a button, causing the backside of the ship to open up

"What are you doing?" Rogers yelled, but then fell silent as a large figure in a red cloak landed on the backside of the plane. Stark raised his palms, ready to shoot a blast at the intruder, but he simply lifted his hammer and shoved him away hard, causing Stark to fall over. Thor then grabbed Loki, picked him up by the throat, and they flew away, into the stormy night.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that everyone who reads these fics has seen the movies and is therefore familiar with all the canon content, but if one wants to tell a complete Loki story, you can't omit the canon sequences, because they have a major impact on the development of Loki's character. Therefore, it is necessary that I write them. However, I try to add Loki's thoughts, as to flash out his motives, and seeing everything from his POV changes the aspect of the story. 
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated, as always.


	15. United we stand, divided we fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the past two days, I still have not acquired the rights to all these characters, so I still have to give credit to Marvel. The dialogues and the actions are also directly from the Avengers-movie. Loki's thoughts are my own, though (small victory cheer)

He did not know how long they were flying, but the hand on his throat was making it diffcult to breathe. Thor never was sublte. Then, Thor let him go and he crashed on the ground, hard. The air was slammed out of him and he moaned painfully. Then, he laughed.  _Thor is here, to bring his little wayward brother home. How thoughtful._

"Where is the Tesseract?" Thor grunted out. 

He laughed again. "Aah, I missed you too." 

"Do I look to be in a gaming mood?" Thor was obvioulsy angry.  _I wonder why. I only tried to enslave the realm he holds so dear. Is that the extent of his brotherly love? He still wants to ruin my games?_

"You should thank me. With the Bifrost gone, how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here?" He slowly crawled back on his feet. "Your precious earth?" he sneered.  _The Realm you gave up to save Jotunheim, to stop me from destroying those monsters once and for all. Turning what was supposed to be my greatest triumph in my defeat and exile._

Thor dropped Mjolnir, and hit hit the rocky underground with a dull thud. Then, he grabbed Loki and hauled him up, holding his head, forcing them to look him in the eye. "I thought you dead."

"Did you mourn?" He wanted to know the answer. He wanted to know if they cared,  _at all,_ about him.

""We all did." He could see the truth in his eyes (Thor was never good at lying) and he felt guilt rising up in his chest, immediately quelled when he reminded himself of all their betrayal.  _They lied to you, deceived you, made you think you were something you are not, made you hope you could become something that you never could be. They made you hate your own kind. You tried to kill off your own race because of them. They don't deserve my guilt. They don't deserve my apologies._

 _And she? She who claimed to love me, she who has betrayed me over and over again? Did SHE mourn me? Did she cry? Did she hate herself afterwards? Did she blamed herself, thinking that all of this could have been avoided if she hadn't been so blind, so careless with her affections?_ He desperately wanted to ask those questions, but he could not get them out of his throat.

"Our father..." Thor continued, but Loki cut him off, angry at his words.

"YOUR father" Thor looked like he had been slapped in the face, a sadness in his eyes that was just completely wrong in the always smiling face of his not-brother. His hands fell away. "He did tell you of my true parentage, did he not?"  _What is the matter, Thor? Nothing to say?_ His mouth became a hard line and he walked away from the man who used to be his brother, but could never, ever be his brother again.

"We were raised together. We played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that?"  _How dare you? You think THAT is the problem. I was different, everyone saw it. I was scorned for who I was. Even you laughed at me, and now you try to guilt me? I had no place in our family, no place in Asgard. I am not from Asgard or Jotunheim. I am neither Æsir or Jotun. I am neither Odinson or Laufeyson. I am no one and you, my dear "brother" are everything. A constant reminder what people expect me to be, only to be disappointed that I am not like you. But you don't understand, do you? You think this is all just a problem that exists in my head. That I could go back to Asgard and be accepted once more. That wishing to be an Æsir is enough. Can you not see that I can never go back?_  

He did not voice these words. "I remember a shadow. Living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me in an abyss, I who was and should be king!"

"So you take the world I love as a recompense for your imagined slights?"  _IMAGINED SLIGHTS? He knows I'm right, but he does not even bother to apologize. He knows that everyone praised him and scorned me? He knows that Odin loved him more that he did me, because he did not love me at all. He knows that everyone thought I was inferior, I was useless. You know that all the love that was bestowed on you was denied for me._ "No, the Earth is under my protection, Loki."

He laughed at that, a bitter, cruel laugh. "ANd you're doing a marvellous job with that. The humans slaughter each other in droves, while you ideally threat. I mean to rule them. And why should I not?"

"You think yourself above them?" Loki looked confused at this question.  _As Midgardians would say; "DUH!"_

"Well, yes."

"Then you miss the truth of ruling, brother. A throne would suit you ill."  _I was king, you oaf. I was king, and I would have been a good king, if I was not betrayed by those I thought loyal to the crown. And who are you to lecture me about the truth of ruling. Without my timely intervention, you would have been king of Asgard, and you would have dragged us into a war as soon as an ambassador would have farted in your royal presence._

He huffed in anger, and pushed Thor aside, walking back to the ledge. "I have seen worlds you've never known about. I have grown, Odin's son (he spat out that word) in my exile. I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it..."

"Who showed you this power?" Thor interrupted him, "who controls the would-be king?

"I AM a king!" he roared out, no longer able to control his anger.

"NOT HERE" Thor yelled and slammed him in the chest. "YOU GIVE UP THE TESSERACT, YOU GIVE UP THIS POISONOUS DREAM! You come home!" he said, voice thick with emotions, and Loki almost wanted to comply, to let Thor take him back to Asgard, where there were people who could pretend to love him. Better than nothing, right. But he knew he couldn't go home. He burned that bridge. If he returned, the Allfather would have no choice but to throw him in the dungeons for the remainder of his days, wich is pretty long, considering he was immortal. So, he could not accept Thor's offer, no matter how badly he wanted to accept. He had no home anymore, he could never go back. He could only go forwards.

"I don't have it." Thor pushed him away, his face now angry, and he summoned Mjolnir, ready to strike. "You need the cube to  bring me home, but I've sent it off, I know not where."

Thor heaved Mjolnir until it was right under his nose. "You listen well, brother, I.." the rest of his words went lost when there was a flash, a sound of two objects smashing against each other with high velocity and he was gone.

Loki chuckled; "I'm listening."

***

He made himself comfortable on the ledge, sitting down and enjoying the spectacle of watching his adoptive brother fight his captor. Thor and his hammer and Stark with his armor were reasonably matched, and it proved to be highly entertaining. It was almost like they had forgotten they fought on the same side. Turning them against each other would be even more easy than he had anticipated. 

He watched them level half the forest in their skirmish. Every time it looked like one of them had dealt the other the winning blow, the other would do something to even the scales. He was almost sorry when the Captain broke up the fight with a throw of his shield, but then he made the blunder of asking Thor to put his hammer down. Thor, of course, went all Thunder-god upon him, but somehow, his shield was able to withstand a direct blow from Mjolnir, and the force of the impact threw them all away. Apparently, after that, they decided on a temporary truce, and they came to collect him. Strange that nobody wondered why he did not escape during the fighting. He could have been at the other side of Midgard by now.  _Are they really that foolish?_

When they reached the helicarrier, a whole battalion of S.H.I.E.L.D agents, fully armed, were ready to escort him.  _What an honour. Not that it would do them much good. This is ridiculous. Thor should know that they have no means to contain my magic. I could be out of here in a second. Why does nobody care?_ He knew that he should be glad that they underestimated him (they all did, to their great regret), but he felt also a little insulted. This reminded him how everyone used to scoff at his use of magic.

They walked past a lab. Inside, a man with glasses and a purple shirt was working, but he paused when he saw Loki and his escort pass. They crossed gazes and Loki smirked.  _Doctor Banner. The monster._ He grinned at the man, and felt triumphantly when the other man's gaze faltered and fell away.  _This was going to be so much fun._

They locked him up in a circular glass cage, no doubt built for containing the very beast he had seen a few minutes earlier. Very practical against brute strength, but no match for his seiðr. He could be out in the blink of an eye if he chose to. Then again, he could carry out his plan from within the confines of this cell and not show everyone the extent of his powers. He liked to keep an ace up his sleeve, as they say.

He saw Fury approaching a control panel, no doubt the one that controlled this very cage. "In case it's unclear. You try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass." he pressed the button, and a hole opened up under the cage, and he saw nothing but endless sky. "30 000 feet straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?" He pressed the button again, and the hole closed. He pointed at the cage, and then at the panel "Ant...boot."

He laughed. _The grim director finally made a jest. Quite clever, to turn my own words against me._ "It's an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me." _Not that you could contain me if it were built for me._

"Built for something a lot stronger than you."

"Oh, I've heard." He smirked and turned towards the camera, knowing that they were watching him right now. The mindless beast, makes play he's still a man. How desperate are you, that you call on such lost creatures to defend you?" he sneered.

"How desperate am I?  You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill 'cause it's fun. You have made me VERY desperate. You might not be glad that you did." Fury was standing in front of him now.

"Ooh. It burns you to have come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share. And then to be reminded what real power is." 

One of the cornes of Fury's lips quirked upwards for a second, but then he turned and left. "Well, let me know if "real power" wants a magazine or something."

He smiled at that; slowly turned around and walked towards the camera, with a smirk full of danger and promise.

_Barton will have delivered the irridium by now. Selvig will be en route for New York, and Barton will come here and "rescue" me. But for now; time to have some fun._

****

He was pacing around his cell when he  _felt_ a presence behind him. He did not hear her approach.  _Quite gifted in the art of stealth, this one. Natasha Romanoff, or that is what she calls herself now. The Black Widow._ A deadly Midgardian spider who devours her mate after mating.  _Aptly named, no doubt._

He smirked. "There's not many people who can sneak up on me."

"But you figured I'd come." Her stance reminded him of someone. Someone he desperately tried to forget.

"After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate." He grinned deviously. 

"I wanna know what you've done to Agent Barton." _Interesting. Does she feel the same way about him than he does about her?_

"I'd say I have expanded his mind." he quipped, trying to unbalance her, to goad her into anger, but she remained as cold and uncaring as ever.

"And once you've won. Once you're king of the mountain. What happens to his mind?" She stood before him and crossed her arms.

"Is this love, agent Romanoff?"  _Sentiment,_ he scoffed

"Love is for children. I owe him a debt."  _Liar._

His curiosity was peaked. "Tell me."

"Before I worked for SHIELD, I uh...well, I made a name for myself." she sat down .He did not expect her to tell him, and the fact that she did caught him by suprise. _What is she doing?_ "I have a very specific skillset. I didn't care who I used it for, or on. I got on SHIELD's radar in a bad way. Agent Barton was sent to kill me, he made a different call."

"And what will you do if I vow to spare him?"

"Not let you out."

"Ah, no. But I like this. Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one man?" He smirked again.  _This is rather amusing. She will never admit her feelings, but she is driven by them nonetheless._

"Regime's fall everyday. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian, or I was."

"And what are you now?"

"It's really not that complicated. I've got red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out."

"Can you?" He frowned at her, "Can you wipe out that much red? Drakoff's daughter?" She did not flinch, but he saw the shock in her eyes. "Sao Paulo? The hospital fire?" He saw the muscles in her throat twitching. "Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer. Pathetic!" He spat out at her. "You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away." 

Sif. She reminded him of Sif. The warrior, always prepared to do her duty, no matter the cost, no matter the personal feelings that might get in the way. Both serving liars and killers, both believing in some higher moral code that makes them differ from the murderers and monsters, like him.  _Betrayal. Lies and betrayal._ Rage boiled within him. When he looked at her again, for a moment, he saw the raven-haired warrior maiden that was once his friend, his lover. Until she betrayed him. He could feel something tugging at his heart, he could feel the pulse that told him that his sceptre had once again been activated. The hatred and and scorn that the Titan filled him with surged through his body once more. He slammed the glass in his fury.

"I won't barter Barton! Not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams I'll split his skull!" He spat out the words with every inch of venom he could muster, and her face was filled with horror, and she hid her face. "This is my bargain, you mewling quim!"

"You're a monster." Her breath came out ragged.  _Is she crying? Stupid wench._

He laughed again, cold and cruelly. "Oh, no. You brought the monster."

Suddenly, she stood straight, turned around, with no evidence of tears. Instead, that cold, calculated gaze was back. "So, Banner? That's your play?"

He frowned. "What?" but she had already turned on her heels and quickly walked away, talking to her earpiece.

"Loki means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab, I'm on my way. Set the door locked." She turned to him one last time. "Thank you, for your cooperation." Then, she walked out of the room.

He could not believe it; He, the God Of Mischief and Lies, the Silvertongue, one of the most intelligent creature to have ever walked the boughs of Yggdrasil, master of schemes and deception, had just been outwitted by a  _mortal?_ Unbelievable. He could smack himself on the forehead. He had allowed to lose control of his emotions, and he had given away his plan. He was no better than Thor, a mindless oaf. He cursed himself inwardly.

After a while, he calmed down. They might know his ultimate plan, but they don't know when and how. They also did not know it was too late to stop it now.

Still, it stung.

*****

The power in the sceptre was pulsing, and he felt the discord it was sowing between the Earth's defenders.  _"They are weak"_ Thanos hissed in his mind, _"they are divided, and will fall quickly. All is in place, my servant; the time to act is now. Fulfill your glorious purpose._

Suddenly, there was a huge explosion, and the entire ship shook and trembled. He grinned. _Agent Barton. Right on time. Now it's only a matter of time before..._ The ship was moving slower than before. One of the engines had stopped spinning. One more and....

His thoughts were interrupted by a deafening roar. He smirked.  _The beast is loose. It will not be long now before this ship falls from the sky and the Earth's defenders scatter like leaves in the wind._

He could hear the sounds of gunfire, of explosions, of a giant green monster fighting his not-brother, by the sounds of it. Everything was going according to plan. Then, suddenly, he realized he could not hear the roars of the beast any more. It must have gotten off the plane.  _Aah, well, it did it's job._

Suddenly, he could feel the ship beginning to fall; Barton had gained access to the bridge and used his virus arrow to gain control over the engines. Their headquarter was about to fall 30 000 feet into the ocean below. But he would be away long before that.

He knew that Thor was on his way to stop him, so his men busted him out early. Than, he created an illusion from himself, still in his cell. When Thor entered, the illusion opened the door and stepped out.

"NO!' Thor bellowed, and he lunged for him, only to discover the trickery and he tumbled into the cell. Then, he closed the cell door, trapping Thor inside.

He sighed: "Are you ever not going to fall for that?"

Thor, of course, did as he always did. He used his hammer, and smashed the glass as hard as he possible could. A crack appeared, but nothing more. Something clicked..

" _Do it. He stands in your way. He always stood in your way. He doesn't want you to become great. He wants to keep you small, so he could be all the more impressive in comparison. He WANTS you to be his shadow. Do it. Rid yourself of him once and for all."_

"The humans think us immortal. Should we test that?" He walked towards the panel, trying to find the right button to press when suddenly, his henchman fell on the floor, unconscious. Behind him stood Agent Coulson, and he was carrying an impressive firearm. 

 "Move away, please." Loki slowly edged backwards, pretending to be impressed by the mortal's toy. "You like this?" He showed the gun. "We started working on the prototype after you send the Destroyer." Loki was slowly walking towards the man. Just a few more steps. "Even I don't know what it does. You wanna find out?" he activated the weapon.

The energy of the sceptre pulsed within him, and he chose that moment to act. He teleported behind Coulson and stabbed him through the heart.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Thor yelled, and he hit the glass, unable to do anything but watch. The illusion that stood where Loki had stood not a second before shimmered out of existence, and Agent Coulson's body fell on the floor.

He walked back towards the panel and opened the hole. He moved his hand towards the button to release the cage, but then he looked into Thor's eyes. Anger. Confusion. Pity. He felt like his not-brother could see straight through him, into his very souls, and he wondered if he could see the clutches that Thanos had put there. He hesitated. He did not want to kill Thor, because, no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he loved him, even if he was not his brother. But then, the sceptre took hold of him once more, and he pressed the button. The last thing he saw of Thor were his eyes, filled with so much pity and compassion for him that it nearly broke him. But he could not show weakness. The Master does not allow weakness.

He closed the hole and wanted to walk away.

"You're gonna lose." a voice said.  _Still alive, I see, Agent Coulson._

He turned around to face the dying man. "Am I?"

"It's in your nature." _Even on their deathbed, they continue to insult me. Even when I am obiviously winning, they call me a loser, because I am born to be a loser._ He did not show his anger. He was above that, above reacting to such petty insults.

'Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky... where is my disadvantage? He was curious.

"You lack conviction." was all he said.

"I don't think I..." A red blast hit him in the chest, and he flew backwards, crashing through the wall. He groaned in pain. And, if that wasn't enough, he could hear a faint voice.

"So that's what it does."

***

The Helicarrier was not falling anymore, somehow they must have gotten the engines back online, but it did not matter. They escaped on the aircraft that brought Barton and his men here. But apparently, something had happened to Barton, for he was not on board. He lamented the loss of so valuable an asset, but it was not important. He had played his part, and he would not be needed for the grand finale. Everything did not go according to plan, but it did not matter. Their heroes were scattered, S.H.I.E.L.D was weakened and the portal would be neigh completed. 

_You are gonna lose. It's your nature._

_Let's see about that._

Destination: Stark Tower, New York City. As the Midgardians would say.

Showtime.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like what you read? Leave a comment below or give kudos?  
> Don't like what you read? Then why are you reading these notes?


	16. There is only... THE WAR!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope, still don't own Marvel.

He was standing on the top floor of Stark Tower, enjoying the view over this Midgardian city called New York. On the roof of the building, Selvig had installed the Tesseract. Soon, he could open the portal, and then the Master's army, his army, could enter this Realm and conquer it for him. Then, he would have to give the Tesseract to Thanos. Every time something inside him warned him not to give Thanos the most powerful object in the Universe, a pang of pain shot through his brain and he groaned.

_"You will do as you have promised, slave, otherwise you will know the true meaning of pain."_ THAT venomous voice resounded in a faraway corner of his mind. He had no choice.

At the horizon, he could see a tiny red and gold dot that was approaching fast. The Iron Man. They had figured it out, just as he had expected. They came to save their city, save the world. They would try to stop him, but it was already too late. The Chirauri were coming.

He saw Stark as he flew to the roof of the building, probably to try and turn of the Tesseract. He did not pay attention to what Stark was saying to Selvig, but he could make out the mechanical whines of the suit's blasters, followed by a huge explosion. The fool had tried to blast the Tesseract, and he was rewarded by a shockwave of pure energy. Stark managed to keep his heavily damaged suit under control, and when he looked downwards, Loki was standing on the balcony, smiling a serene smile. Loki knew that Stark was not going to attack right now, not when his suit could fall apart with a light tick of his sceptre. Stark landed on a platform, and a circle appeared behind him. As he walked towards the tower, his armor was disassembled by a sort of machine. He smirked and went inside as well.

"Please tell me you are going to appeal to my humanity!" he said, and his voice rang with mirth. _Is that not what heroes do?_ _Try and talk the villain out of his nefarious schemes?_ _And when does that ever work?_

"Uh, actually I'm planning to threaten you." Stark retorted. This man had wit.  _If only we could have met under different circumstances, we would have gotten along fabulously._ he thought dryly. It would be a shame to kill someone so intelligent and funny, but he did not think that Stark would sit idly by as he conquered his world.

"You should have left your armor on for that." He smiled again.

"Yeah. It's seen a bit of "mileage" and you got the "glow-stick of destiny" He looked down at the sceptre. _If only you knew,_ "Would you like a drink?"

"Stalling me won't change anything."

"No, no no, threatening! No drink? You sure? I'm having one." _At any moment, a portal would open up and an alien army will enter this realm, and this man is talking about drinks?_

He turned his back to the man as he poured himself a drink and walked towards the window. _No doubt he's stalling me until his teammates arrive. Not that it will do them much good._ "The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that." He turned again, sharply, and gave the man a smug look. "What have I to fear?"

"The Avengers" Loki looked puzzled. _What in Ygddrasil's name is that?_ " It's what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. "Earth's Mighiest Heroes" type thing." _Catchy name, I'll give them that._

"Yes, I've met them. "

"Yeah." Stark laughed at him. "Takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them"  Loki smirked, but inside of him, a seed of doubt was planted. Perhaps it wasn't his best plan after all. _NO, NO, no doubt. You will still win this. You HAVE to. There is no other option._

"That was the plan." he flashed his evil smirk again, the smirk that made so many mortals and _Æsir_   cower in fear before him, but apparently, it did not affect Stark, or if it did, he did not show it.

"Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they'll come for you."  _Is he speaking the truth. Did he just unite the only people that could hope to stop him?_

"I have an army."

"We have a Hulk." Stark retorted

"I thought the beast had wondered off..."

"You're missing the point!" Stark walked down the stairs towards him, glass still in hand, but now he was wearing a bracelet of some kind.  _What is he up to?_ Loki prized himself on being able to read people and anticipate their moves, but he found it increasingly difficult. It was like Thanos had deliberately weakend his abilities. But why would he do that? "There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!" A cold rage filled him.  _Another one who doubts my capabilities. Another one that MOCKS me in my face._ Then, a plan formed inside his head.

"How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting you?" His sceptre hummed, and he put it on the man's chest. There was a strange metally sound and nothing happened. He tried again. There was something there, some sort of contraption over Stark's heart, and he could not bypass it. He could not mindcontrol Stark. "This usually works..."

"Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five..." He had enough of the man's mockery, and grabbed him by the throat. He had the satisfaction of seeing Stark's smug smile disappear from his face, and he threw him hard on the ground. Stark grunted and mumbled something. When he tried to get up, he once again grabbed him by the throat, cutting of his windpipe.

"You will ALL FALL BEFORE ME." he hissed.

"Deploy!" Stark shouted. _That was why he was stalling. He was trying to fix a new suit._ With all the force he could muster, he threw Stark out of the window like he was a ragdoll. He would love to see the smug smile on the man's face as he scraped him of the pavement. 

But then, he heard a whine, and he had barely time to jump out of the way as a red and gold projectile shot out of the wall behind him, through the glass, following Stark. A few seconds later, a fully armed Iron Man was hovering before him.

"And there is one other person you have pissed off. His name was Phil!" Loki quickly aimed his sceptre at him, but Stark was faster, and the energy blasted him backwards. _Should have snapped his neck when I had the chance._ Luckily for him, on that same moment, the Tesseract was activated, and in the sky above New York, a portal was opened. The Chitauri had come, and Stark flew away to great them. The battle had begun. He could already hear the screams of the mortals and the sound of explosions. 

He went outside, changed to his full armor and stood on the balcony. The Chitauri were everywhere, on their flying machines, destroying all in their path. He transported his mind to the Chitauri space, reporting the resistance to the Other and promising that they would soon fall as well.  


Then, something crashed on the balcony beneath him.

"LOKI!" Thor shouted. _Hello Thor, what a suprise. Did you come to see your "little brother's" big day?_ "Turn off the Tesseract or I'll destroy it. _I can't stop it, and neither can you destroy it._

"You can't! There is no stopping it." he yelled, and he pointed the sceptre towards Thor, "there is only..; THE WAR."

"So be it."

Loki roared, jumped and brought the sharp end of the sceptre down in a cut, but Thor dodged his attack. He blocked Mjolnir with the hilt of the sceptre, swung it around him and forcing Thor to duck and move backwards, and shot a energy blast at him. He swung the sceptre to the left, but Thor blocked his attack, and the energy release destroyed most of the STARK letters on the building. The fight continued. Stark flew past them, followed by several Chitauri soldiers, but they hardly paid any attention to them. Then, he could hear a S.H.I.E.L.D jet approaching, so he quicly threw Thor on the ground and destroyed the Jet engine. Barton was in there, and Romanoff and Rogers. With some luck, they would all crash to their deaths.

But, the moment of distraction was enough for Thor to get back on his feet and he threw himself at Loki. His hammer forgotten in his rage, he threw punch after punch, and all Loki could do was try to block as many as possible. But then, a gigantic roar filled the sky, and a giant beast appeared through the portal; the first of the Leviathans had arrived, and it immediately started to wreak havoc on the city.

"Look at this." Thor bellowed, "Look around you. You think this madness will end with your rule?" And for a moment, he _woke up._ He saw the destruction, saw the aliens killing people, saw his _brother_ holding him, still with hope in his eyes. A sudden rush of guilt and sadness filled him. _What have I done? What have I become?_

"It's too late. It's too late to stop it." he lamented, and he meant it.  


"No, we can. Together." a smile appeared on Thor's face. He had seen the change in Loki's eyes.

Then, he screamed inwardly as pain shot through his brain like a knife. " _YOU WILL NOT TEST ME, ASGARDIAN. YOU ARE MY SLAVE, AND YOU WILL DO MY BIDDING. THERE IS NO ESCAPE. OBEY!"_ The stone in the sceptre glowed once more, and his mind became numb once more. _"KILL HIM."_ the voice commanded, and he had no other choice but to obey.

He smirked. A tiny knife appeared in his hand, and he stabbed Thor in the side. He grunted in pain and Mjolnir fell to the floor.

"Sentiment!" he spat out.

But the next moment, Thor was up again. He grabbed his arm and kicked him in his abdomen; he flew through the window. Thor picked him up like he was a bundle of rags, heaved him up above his head and threw him as hard as he could on the floor. Loki groaned in pain. His sceptre was out of his reach, and Thor stood in his way. He had no other choice. He rolled himself of the edge, and landed on a flying Chitauri jet and flew away. He expected Thor to follow him, but he didn't. He and a few other Chitauri soldiers raced towards the streets and began firing at will, be it at cars or mortals. The chaos was complete, and he smiled.

He flew around some more, shooting stuff, enjoying himself, when he saw the Leviathan following the Iron Man on the street level, when suddenly, something appeared in its way. _Banner. No, the Hulk._ The enormous green monster punched the Leviathan, and it toppled. It's weak spots were revealed, and the Iron Man shot rockets into them, and the Leviathan was destroyed in a gigantic explosion. Chitauri everywhere screamed their anguish, and Loki was impressed. 

"Sent the rest." he commanded, and countless more poured out of the portal above him, accompanied by innumerable Chitauri soldiers. _No matter how strong their defence, no matter how great their resistance, they will fall before me._

The so-called Avengers put up a good fight, and his army sustained heavy casualties, but more and more came pouring out of the portal. In the end, the losses would be insignificant. They were merely pawns, replacable. He would triumph eventually, unless they found a way to close the portal. So long as he had the sceptre....  


_ The sceptre!   _ he panicked.  _My sceptre still is on the top of Stark Tower._ He had to go and get it. But apparently, he was not the only one concerned about the portal. He saw agent Romanoff on a Chitauri Jet, also heading towards the Tower. He snarled and began to fire at her. 

Suddenly, there was an arrow flying at him. _Hawkeye._ Just before the arrow buried itself in his face, he caught it with his bare hand. He turned to look at Barton, flashing him a condescending smirk, when suddenly, he heard a beep, a flash of blue appeared on the arrow and it exploded. He was thrown of the Jet and crashed on the balcony of Stark Tower. He groaned. He had underestimated the marksman, but luckily, he landed exactly where he needed to be. 

He got up, but before he could collect his sceptre, a giant green monster appeared before him and smashed him through the window, and he crashed into the wall. The creature charget at him again, but he was already on his feet.

"ENOUGH!" he screamed, and the Hulk stopped, confusion etched on his monstrous face. "You are, all of you are beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by..."

Suddenly, something grabbed his ankle, and he saw the floor approaching, and again, and again, and again. The monster was using him as a ragdoll, smashing him in the ground multiple times. The pain was enormous, but nothing compared to the shock and pure humiliation. He heard the monster say "Puny God"

He made a small noise of pain, and then he passed out.

*****

He woke up some time later. He felt bruises everywhere, and he literally crawled up the stairs in a more comfortable position. Then realization hid him, he could think clearly. The veil that covered his mind for the last few months was lifted at last. His thoughts were his own again. Somehow, the shock of the Hulk mistreatments and the brain damage that no doubt accompanied it had released him from Thanos' control. He was free again. He wanted to weep of joy, but he could not. He felt guilty for what he had done. He had been weak. Thanos had easily ensnared him. He could remeber everything he had done, and he _knew,_ deep inside, that the reason Thanos had so easily manipulated him was because he had _let_  him. There was blood on his hands, and he could never erase it. Thanos had corrupted him, but he had played along too willingly. 

Then, another thing came to mind. It was eerily quiet. Too quiet. The battle had been won. By whom, he did not know. It did not matter; he was screwed anyway. If his army had won, Thanos would gain the Tesseract and he would be killed. If he had lost, he would be captured, brought back to Asgard in disgrace, face justice, and wait for Thanos to find him and _destroy him_. His best hope was that he had lost, and that they would kill him, but he knew that Thor would not allow that. 

_ I have lost. No matter the outcome, I am lost. _

He turned around to see the Avengers surrounding him, Barton with his bow aimed at his face, the rest with their weapons at the ready. He almost sagged in relief, but he didn't. Instead, he quipped:

"If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now!" 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like what you read. Leave a comment or give kudos.  
> We are now about to enter the final part of Loki's story; the events of TDW and how it has changed him. Also, we have a few emotional confrontations to look forward to. Someone we have not seen in a while will make his/her comeback, and we will have to see how our favorite God of Mischief will react


	17. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First TDW chapter. In the next chapters, we will explore the events of the movie, but there will also be events that supposedly happened between the scenes Loki was in.  
> Next chapter will be a pretty big confrontation, so it might take more time than my other chapters, so it might not be there the day after tomorrow ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Still don't own Marvel. Damn

In the days after the failed invasion, he had learned what had happened after he lost conciousness in his skirmish against Dr. Banner. Apparently, Midgard's rulers had decided to destroy their city rather that let his army get into the world, and they had launched something called a "nuke" to level New York. Luckily for the mortals, the Iron Man had caught the missile, and had launched it through the portal into the Chitauri galaxy. There, it had hit the mothership, and all Chitauri had just died. Apparently, the ship was their brain, and they could not function without it. Agent Romanoff had also closed the portal with his sceptre, thanks to a safety measure Selvig had installed. So now, Earth's Mightiest heroes were victorious, weary and  _very_ angry.

Now that the war was won and he was defeated, another question rose; what to do with him? Should they bring him to  _justice_ on Midgard? They had no way to contain him, so they would have to try to execute him. He was pretty sure that most of the mortals would not mind, in fact, they were calling for his blood as we speak. Alas for them, Thor stubbornly refused to let his "brother" be executed.  No, he would go to Asgard, with Thor, to face Asgardian justice, the justice of his not-father, Odin, the Great Lier. 

It was decided that they would leave today, from a large open green forest called Central Park, in the heart of New York. They would use the power of the Tesseract to return to Asgard, and the cube would stay there, locked away in the Vault, where it would be better protected than was possible on Midgard. He silently agreed with them; Midgard is too weak to stand against Thanos and therefore, the cube was not safe here. Asgard is another matter. The Mad Titan would not dare to challenge the might of the Realm Eternal. The Tesseract would be safe there.

He was not sure how he felt at his return. It was hardly the "glorious homecoming" for him. He would not return as prince of Asgard, but as a prisoner of war, defeated and humiliated by a group of  _mortals._ He was also not looking forward to whatever punishment Odin would have prepared for him. If he was lucky, he would just execute him, like he should have done all these years ago. If not, well... But at least he would see Frigga again. He knew that she was not his mother, and he knew that she had lied to him as well, but, contrary to Odin, he forgave her for it, for she did it out of love. She had always loved him, she had always been there for him, and for that, he could still give her his love, twisted as it might be.

He would also see  _her_ again. She would be there, to great her prince and to scorn the would-be conquerer.  _Will she look angry? Disappointed? Guilty?_ He did not know.

$$$$

 

They stood on a stone bridge in the middle of Central Park. His hands were bound and they put a muzzle over his mouth, partly to prevent him from using his seiðr (it was an Asgardian contraption, after all),partly so that he would keep his mouth shut. both for the most part it was to humiliate him, like he was some sort of rabid animal that they would put down. He swallowed the insult, like he had always done.

The Avengers had come, to say goodbye to Thor and to make sure that Loki had truly left Midgard. They were all clad in suits, and they were clearly all laughing with him. Romanoff whispered something in Barton's ear, and Barton practically laughed in his face.  _Insolent mortal. I could still crush you like a bug, if I wanted to._

The Tesseract was put in a glass cilinder with two handles at each side. Thor took hold of one and offered the other to him. There was an almost pleading look in his eyes. Loki sighed, and took the other handle. There was nothing else he could do, after all. THor twisted his handle, activating the power of the Tesseract, and teleporting them away.

Ater a brief trip through the very core of Ygddrasil's branches, his feet hit hard floor. He opened his eyes and saw a grey sort of polished rock. When he turned his glance upward, he saw that he was standing on the Bifrost, now dull of color by lack of energy.

Suddenly, a deep voice rang out behind him.

"Welcome back, my prince. The Allfather awaits you." Well, he had no illusions to whom Heimdall was talking. The Gatekeeper did not even look at him, he just stood at the shattered edge of the Bifrost, looking out over the Nine Realms.

"Thank you, Heimdall. I would not keep our father waiting."  _YOUR father. When will you learn, you witless oaf. We are not family. I am not your brother. I am a monster, a stolen relic, a dog that had turned against his master. Your emotions will not change a thing about that._

He felt Thor's heavy hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle push forwards. He started walking towards the city, but Thor's hand remained on his shoulder, like he was supporting Loki in some way. He hated it, for he thought that Thor was having pity on him, and he hated pity, but no matter how many times he shrugged his shoulder, Thor would not release his grip. 

They walked in silence, but as they passed the city gates and reached the buildings, he could see people coming out of their houses to watch Thor and his prisoner. Soon, the whole of Asgard was assembled to witness the disgrace of the fallen prince. In the beginning, they were silent, but then, a few began to whisper. These whispers grew louder and louder, until they were all shouting. They were taunting him with his defeat, they were calling out for his head, they were spitting at him. Asgard finally had a chance to show how it really thought about its second son. The insults thrown at his head were enough to make any man want to crawl away into a dark corner and cry. He felt Thor's grip on his shoulder tightening. But he would not show them his defeat. He would not allow them to see him brought so low. So he raised his back, lifted his chin and walked proudly towards the palace, like he was not a prisoner, but an esteemed guest, a member of the royal family returning from a quest or diplomatic mission. The complete absence of any sign of defeat on him made the crowd even crazier, and Thor had to keep them away from him with his hammer, otherwise, they would have shred him to pieces. But he continued to walk tall, and one could see he was smirking, even though he was muzzled, by the lines of his face. He walked past them like he had succeeded in conquering Midgard, like he was the King of Asgard himself, like they were cheering in stead of taunting.

When they reached the palace, they opened the gates, and six Einherjar joined his escort. They marched him into the throne room. The whole court was in attendance, and they all began to whisper when he entered. Odin was on his throne, but Frigga was nowhere to be seen. On the right side of the throne stood Fandral and Volstagg, expressions of pure loathing plastered on there face. On the left side stood Hogun, as grim and expressionless as ever, and Sif. Sif. He had not seen her in more than a year, and that year had not diminished her beauty at all. He looked straight into her eyes, and for a second, they were a combination of hurt, anger, complete, utter betrayal and something else he could not define, before she blinked and her eyes turned blank. He tore his gaze loose from her and looked back at the throne. Frigga was nowhere to be seen.  _She does not want to see you. You caused her too much pain, and now she hates you. You lost the love of the only one who has ever given it to you, the only one who ever cared about you._

They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Thor bowed deeply before Odin while Loki just stood and waited. He could see nothing in Odin's eye, and it disturbed him. 

"Welcome back, Thor Odinson, my son. I trust all is well on Midgard?"

"Yes father, the situation has been dealt with. The Chitauri are defeated, we have regained the Tesseract and I have found my brother."  Only Thor would still call him brother at this point.  _You naive fool. Do you really think that we can ever go back to the situation as it was before? That somehow, I could continue believing in the lie that was my life. You may have changed on Midgard, but you are still as thick as a brick._

"So you have." Odin nodded, and turned his gaze towards Loki, who stared back defiantly, "As for you, Loki Laufeyson, you will be brought to the dungeons to await your punishment. Guards, escort him out!"

The moment Odin had said "Laufeyson" the whole hall had fallen silent, and everyone was looking at the Allfather in shock, even Thor, who had known the truth. But Loki just looked at the Allfather with a withering look in his eyes, before he let the guards take him away. 

The Allfather had chosen his words carefully. Most people would not guess their true meaning, thinking it to be an insult, that he was the son of a monster, Asgard's greatest enemy, but he knew what it was, even if no one else did; it meant that Odin no longer named him his son. He had cast him out of the family, cast him out of Asgard. He was no one.

When they arrived at the dungeons and opened his cell door, he went in meekly.

***

He did not know how long he had waited before they came to collect him, but it felt like a century. There were spells woven into the energy barriers that closed the gaps in the ever-lit and bright white walls (very difficult to get some sleep): he could use his illusion, but nothing more than that. He had a comfortable couch and a book, but after reading it five times, it lost its appeal. He tried talking to the guards who brought him his meals, but they would just put it down and hurry away as quick as they could. 

He wondered if this was a part of Odin's strategy; to drive him crazy from boredom. The worst part was, it was working. The boredom and the lack of sleep became a mental torture, and after a while, it was so bad that he was actually relieved when they came to collect him for his trial. In a few seconds, he had regained his composure, and allowed the guards to take him away. They chained him first, of course. Chains around his hands and neck to keep him in place. The chains were held by two guards, and eight more walked behind them.  _Quite the escort,_ he thought wryly.

He entered the throne room (empty this time) and deliberately walked slowly towards the throne, to make the whole situation more dramatic. When he passed a column, he heard a voice

"Loki." 

"Hello Mother?" he said casually, although his heart lept at the sight of her, "have I made you proud?"

"Please, don't make this worse." she pleaded, and he could see the battle that raged inside her. The horror at what he had done and what he had become against the love she felt for him, the need to protect her child from harm.

"Define worse."

"ENOUGH!" Odin's voice cut through their conversation, "I will speak to the prisoner alone." After giving him a final look, Frigga walked away. Loki turned his attention towards Odin and slowly walked forward, slamming his feet together in some sort of mock salute. Then, he laughed. "I really don't see what all the fuss is about."

"Do you not truly feel the gravity of your crimes? Wherever you go there is war, ruin and death!"  _They have a saying on Midgard: the pot calls the kettle black. I learned from the very best._

"I went down to Midgard to rule the people of Earth as a benevolent god. Just like you did!"  _Remember, Allfather? We are more alike than either of us would care to admit. What is the difference between you and I? Why am I a criminal and a monster while you are king? You SUCCEEDED!_

"We are not gods. We are born, we live, we die. Just as humans do."

"Give or take five thousand years." he quipped.  _If that is true, why did the ancient Nords worship you as a god? Why did you not bother to correct them?  Because you LIKED the attention. You claim to be righteous, Allfather, but deep inside, you are just like me. Who else kidnaps a baby for political gains? You are a hypocrite, and everyone is a fool if they don't see that._ _  
_

"All of this because Loki desires a throne." _It was never about the throne alone, you foolish old man. It was about loving me as much as you loved Thor, something you have neglected to do ever since you took me away from my home to be raised alongside your son, so he would shine all the brighter by comparison._

"It is my birthright." If nothing else, he was still the Crown Prince of Jotunheim (not that he would ever claim that title)

"YOUR BIRTHRIGHT... WAS TO DIE. As a child. Cast out onto a frozen rock." The filthy bastard had the guts to look smug about this. He had never hated him more than he did now. "If I had not taken you in, you would not be here now to hate me."  _Possible. On the other hand, you lied to me my whole life, so who is to say you did not simply stole me away. Perhaps I WAS wanted. Not that it matters. A lot of lives would have been spared if you had let me die that day. You will have to live with that thought for the rest of your life, Allfather._ That thought consoled him a bit.

"If I am for the axe, then for mercy's sake, just swing it. It's not that I don't love our little talks, it's just... I don't love them."  _  
_

"Frigga is the only reason you are still alive and you will never see her again. You will spend the rest of your days in the dungeons." At that moment, he knew that Odin was never his father and would never again be his father. Frigga was still his mother, but he had no father. The realization was oddly... _comforting._ No one to impress anymore, never that icy look of disappointment. But still, the dungeons for the rest of his life, his mother forbidden to visit him, so no one would come. He would stay there and rot, until the Nine Realms had forgotten he had ever existed, and he was driven crazy by boredom and loneliness.. It was a cruel punishment, even for Odin.

The guards began to pull on his chains, making him take a few steps backwards. "And what of Thor? You'll make that witless oaf king while I rot in chains?" His glance was icyly.

"Thor must strive to undo the damage you have done. He will bring order to the Nine Realms and then, yes, he will be king." He smiled.  _You are happy you don't have to pretend anymore, do you? You are finally rid of me. You have taken everything that is precious from me, and now you will put me in my cage, where I should have been put all those years ago._

When the guards returned him to his cell, he did not resist. Why should he? There was nowhere he could go. Perhaps the cells in Asgard were the safest place in Ygddrasil to hide from HIM. He made no illusions. Thanos did not make idle threats. He would be coming for him.

He entered his cell, lied down on the bed and closed his eyes, trying to sleep. But the lights in his room were too bright, and they could not be dimmed. Probably another one of the Allfather's tortures. He sighed and sat back up, and suddenly tensed.

There was something moving in the shadows outside his cell. Someone was watching him.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, then leave a comment. I greatly appreciate all feedback, it's really nice if people like your work.  
> The end is near, and I must admit I'm looking forward to it. It is amazing to have a story in your head and just write it down. I have a few ideas for some new fics, but right now I need to bring this one to a good end.
> 
>  
> 
> See you soon.


	18. Where my demons hide!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is a line from the song "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. It gave me the inspiration for this chapter. I personally think it is a great Loki song.
> 
> I don't own the song, and neither do I own these characters and this universe, it belongs to Marvel.

That shape, that stance, those eyes; it could only be one person.

"Lady Sif" he drawled, "how  _lovely_ to see you again. If I had known I would be entertaining guests tonight, I would have tidied up." He gestured at his cell.

She did not respond, but she emerged out of the shadows and walked towards the edge of his cell. No words left her mouth, but she did turn his gaze towards him, and all her unspoken words were clearly written in those; accusation. Betrayal. Hate. Grief.  _Challenge._

He was slightly surprised, but returned her stare with full force, never one to back down from a challenge. But still, he felt bad for putting all those emotions into her eyes, eyes that used to hold nothing but affection towards him.  _Whatever you have done, no matter how much she thinks you have betrayed her, she betrayed you first. Multiple times. She is not worthy of your guilt._

For a while, they just stared at each other, neither of them speaking, neither of them moving. He was leaning casually against the back wall of the prison, and allowed a smirk to appear on his face. She stood before the magic barrier, straight as an arrow, one hand on the hilt of her glaive.  _She has brought her weapon with her. Does she intend to kill me? Or is she merely threatening?_ If so, she was failing miserably. Loki did not fear death. In fact, if he had to choose between spending an eternity in this prison cell or death, he would choose the latter. Far less boring. It made him wonder about what the Allfather had said : " _Frigga is the only reason you are still alive and you will never see her again._ " Of course, his mother (always) would cling to the hope that he would one day come back to them, change his wicked ways. Sweet, but foolish. Even if he did have a change of heart, things would never again be the same, no matter how much Frigga and Thor prayed for it. He knew it. Odin knew it.  _Typically Odin, trying to pretend that my imprisonment was an act of compassion._ He knew that a life sentence would be a far greater punishment for Loki. The sheer boredom of his existence would drive him insane, would cause him to lose his mind. 

 _No, I'll take a quick, clean death any day._ And he knew that if someone would do it, Sif would. Thor could never do it, and if Odin would do it, or command someone else to do it, Frigga would never speak with him again. Sif, on the other hand, had no such qualms. She could be hard and cruel if need be. Actually, it would be kind of  _fitting._ If he wanted someone to kill him, let it be her. Let his blood taint her hands for all eternity, knowing that she was partly responsible for what he had become. She would do it, but it would kill her. A fair punishment for the traitorous wench.

But she did not draw her glaive, nor did she open the door. She just stood there, watching him, saying nothing, and after a while, it began to annoy him.  _Why is she here? Does she wants to see me defeated? Does she wants to mock, to taunt?_

"As much as I am enjoying this conversation, I have to ask after the purpose of this visit." he sneered, "if not, you can show yourself out. As you can see, I'm quite busy."

Then, at last, she reacted. "Shut up, just... shut up!" she whispered, and she leaned against the wall for support.

"And why? Am I making your task too difficult. Tell me, my lady, are you here to kill me? If so, make it quick. I don't particulary like it here, and I REALLY don't like the company. So if you please..."

"I HATE YOU!" she yelled out, tears brimming in her eyes. "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!"

 _At last._ He smirked evilly "And why is that, my lady? Do tell! Was it because... I tried to kill you, Thor and your friends?" He looked away, putting his hand on his chin and lightly scratching his jaw, pretending to be pondering. "Or maybe because I tried to destroy Jotunheim? Perhaps it was my attempt at conquering Earth? My striving to be accepted by Asgard and Odin, perhaps? Or... aah, now I see it. It's the mortal, is it not?"

She did not answer, but the look she threw him was full of rage.

"Of course, that must be it. Jane Foster, Thor's pet mortal. It must have been difficult for you, pining after him for hundreds of years, while she managed to win his heart in no more than three days. She was able to coax a change out of him, while you were barely able to coax a rise out of him. "He continued mercilessly. "And you hate me because I was the reason Thor was banished to Midgard. Well I must say, I am  _terribly_  sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I am also angry at her. If she was not there, Thor would not have become worthy again, and I would have succeeded in my goals."

"You betrayed us that day. You betrayed Asgard that day."

He laughed at that, a cold, mirthless laugh that resounded hollow in the empty dungeons.

"I betrayed Asgard? Tell me, my lady, how does someone betray a place that never wanted him in the first place? Why do I own loyalty to a people that did nothing but spit on me my entire life? Why do I owe a tyrant who has done nothing but neglect me all my life, who lied to me and betrayed me, any obedience?"

"That's not true, you..."

"IT IS TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT. I saw it, every day of my life. Everywhere I went, people laughed behind my back. Every time I walked by, people pointed at me and whispered insults. They called me evil, the accursed, the dark prince, the liesmith. Always quick to accuse me of everything, never believing my honest intentions, claiming that I am incapable of sincerity. They made me a monster long before I was one. And you know why, don't you? "He hissed.

Sif stammered, but before she could regain her composure, he interrupted her yet again.

"Because I was DIFFERENT. They hated me because I was DIFFERENT. They hated me because I was not a built like an ox, like all the "normal" men in Asgard. They hated me because my hair had the insolence of being black instead of blond. They hated me because I would rather use seiðr than a sword. They hated me because I tried to solve problems by thinking about them rather than hitting them. They hated me because I was me, and that would never be good enough for the people of Asgard. In short, they hated me because I was not Thor. 

But YOU... you were different. That drew me to you in the first place. You were just as different as me, so I thought you would understand, how it feels, how difficult it is. I thought, just for a second, that I had found someone like me, someone who could accept my difference. But no, you turned out to be just like everyone else" She looked like he had just slapped her in the face. "You betrayed me. You chose Thor, just like everybody else." 

"EVERYTHING WITH YOU REVOLVES AROUND THOR! YOUR PETTY JEALOUSY TOWARDS HIM HAS CHANGED YOU! WHY ? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ENVY THOR?" One tear slowly made it's way down her cheeck.

"Petty jealousy? When we were on Midgard, Thor spoke about my 'imagined slights', like I just made them up. No, my dear Sif, they are not imagined. You accuse me of being envious, well I comfirm it. If a man has nothing, it is only natural to be envious towards the man that has everything. And Thor had everything; firstborn, born to be king of Asgard, the love of the people, the love of the Allfather, EVERYTHING. And I? Nothing. A people that loathed me, a "father" that never cared about me, I was different. And my "brother", who still claims to love me, was blind to it all. So sure about his own superiority, he grew arrogant and vain. He thought the Nine Realms revolved around him. HE was the Crown Prince, HE was destined to rule, HE was the greatest warrior Asgard had ever seen. And I? I was cast in the corner, forgotten. They scoffed at me. No matter how many times I aided them, no matter how many times I saved their lives, they scoffed at me. Never, in whole his life, has Thor thanked me for what I had done for him. He just took it for granted. He was so arrogant, he did not even see what he was doing to me. The shadow he cast was so great, it threatened to drown me, but everyone just assumed everything was all right, that it was my rightful place. People wonder why I always stuck to the shadows. Well, the answer is simple; I was born in them. I was born in the shadow of Odin and Thor, and no matter how much I tried, I knew I could never escape it. No one would ever look towards me for me. I was nothing but Thor's annoying younger brother. Not my words, the words of my so-called 'friends'. There were two people who looked at me for me, and both of them have betrayed me."

Her breath was ragged now, and she looked like she might be sick. "Loki, your family loves you. Your father..."

"HE'S NOT MY FATHER!" Loki yelled out, his rage finally bursting out. 

She looked puzzled. "How do you mean, he's not your father. Loki, Odin is your father. You are Loki Odinson. Frigga is your mother and Thor your brother. If you would let them, they would welcome you back with open arms. You don't have to alienate yourself from them."

A mirthless chuckle escaped his throat. _She did not know._  They did not tell her. Maybe, if she saw his true form, she would recognize him for the monster he was and she would leave him alone, or better, end his life. He turned his back towards her and concentrated. Soon, he felt the hated chill crawling over his body. Smirk firm in place, he turned around once more.

She flinched when they saw him, and her eyes went wide with horror. Shocked, she had to take a few steps back, and when he fixed his blood-red gaze on her, he could see she almost fainted.

" _What have you done?"_ she hissed. " _What is the meaning of this?"_  

"This, my lady, is my true form. What is the matter? Do you not like what you see?"

"What trickery is this?" she demanded

"No trickery, my lady. Well, not  _my_ trickery, at least. Odin's. I am not Odinson, nor Friggason, nor Thorsbrother. I am not even Æsir. I am a Frost Giant."

The horror on her face was slowly replaced by confusion. "Who are you?"

He laughed, a short bark of laughter without any joy. "Well, I have trouble figuring that one out myself. The most correct answer would be that I am Loki Laufeyson of Jotunheim, but I am determined to never answer to that name again."

"Laufeyson." Suddenly, Odin's words in the throne room made sense to her.

"Kind of takes it over the top, doesn't it? Not only a member of the very race the Æsir were brought up to hate, monstrous and evil barbarians, but I am also the son of Asgard's greatest enemy."

"But... when... how?"

"The Battle for Utgard, at the end of the Great War. After Laufey's defeat, Odin went into the temple and found me, if I have to believe him. When I found out, he told me he had taken me because he had pity on me. Hah!" he spat, "He took me because he saw me as a political means to an end, a way to put a Æsir marionet on the throne of Jotunheim. He never cared about me at all, I was just another stolen relic, locked up until he could use me.

"No," she shaked her head, "He loves you, Loki. I am sure of it. Why else would he want to keep your heritage a secret? He did it to protect you."

"You think? Have you any idea how it feels to have your entire life ripped away from under you? Have you any idea how it feels when everything you have been brought up to believe was a lie? When you start to question everything that anyone has ever said to you? He did not do me a kindness, Sif, he stole from me my very identity. I know nothing. I belong nowhere. I am no one. If he told me from the beginning, I would never have had false hope, a false hope to be accepted by Asgard and its people. I would know exactly who and what I would be. But now? Nothing. But apparently, for all his cleverness and schemes, he could not keep the monster that I am at bay."

"That's not true." she spoke loudly, as trying to convince herself. " You were not a monster, Loki. The boy I knew would never..."

"The boy you knew is dead." he cut her off, harsly, "if he even existed at all. Not that it matters, anyway. Jotun or not, the people still hated me. Perhaps they saw me for what I truly was. Perhaps, even then, they could see the monster that I would become."

"You are not a monster, Loki. You have done things that are monstrous, true, but you are not a monster."

"If you say so." he scoffed, and a heavy silence fell between them. After what felt like an hour, she finally managed to say something

"Why? Why did you send the Destroyer down to kill us? Why have you betrayed us?"

"BETRAYED YOU? If anything, you betrayed me. I was king, I had expressively forbidden you to fetch Thor, but you did so anyway. You did not have faith in me that I could handle the situation, and instead opted to bring back the very one that caused the whole mess in the first place. I knew that you and the Warriors Three always preferred Thor over me, but I had hoped that your oaths of obedience and duty to your king would prevail. Alas, once more your devotion for Thor was stonger than everything else, and I had to resort to extreme measures to prevent his return. I did warn you beforehand, that, if you went, I would regard you as my enemy. When you went, it broke my heart... again. So I decided to take matters into my own hand.

"By sending the Destroyer down to kill us and Thor!"

"If I said that it was never my intention to kill Thor, would you believe me?" She just raised an eyebrow in respone. "I thought not. It is the truth, however, but if you choose not to believe it, fine by me. And yes, I wanted to punish you for your treason and your betrayal. But, of course, my actions made Thor worthy again, and once again, I was made undone by my own doing."

She just nodded, as to take in his words. "What about Jotunheim?"

"Revenge against a father who had abandoned me. Revenge against a race that never wanted me. A heroic act to show the people of Asgard my power, and my devotion to this Realm. And finally, a chance to prove Odin that I am a worthy son. I should have known by then."

"Known what?"

"That, no matter if I managed to destroy Jotunheim or not, no matter if I proved to him that I rejected my Jotun heritage entirely, he would still not love and accept me. He never will." he finished bitterly.

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE I AM DESTINED TO BRING ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD." he screamed, and buried his head in his hands. "When I fell, I was picked up by a creature from the Abyss, a powerfull being, an alien warlord. His name was Thanos. I learned a great deal under his hands. When he dug inside me and found pride, he broke me until I let it go. When he dug inside me and found compassion, he broke me until I let it go." He did no look towards Sif, but he knew that her eyes would be filled with horror and pity, and he hated pity. "He knew much about me, about my past and my future, and he would torment me with it. He said that I was the Ice Prince, the one that will lead the army of the dead alongside the Frost Giants and the Fire Giants against the might of Asgard and her allies, a great battle called Ragnarok. I would be the one to release Nidhogg from his cell at the roots of the World Tree, and he would burn Yggdrasil until nothing but ashes remain. He told me that I would perish in single combat against Heimdall, while at the same time, he would die by my blade. That is the future for me, and Odin knew that. That's why he could never love me. He knew that when the time came, he would have to put me down as the rabid dog I am, for the Nine Realms will always come first, even if it meant sacrificing his adopted son."

"No...No....no, I refuse to believe that. It was obviously a lie, and you are stupid for not seeing it."

"It is no lie. Thanos hurts, Thanos takes pleasure in the suffering of others, but Thanos does not lie. He knows that the truth hurts much more that any lie."

"This Thanos, he is the one who is after the Tesseract, correct?"

He flinched. Was she trying to interrogate him? Did the Allfather send her here? Did Thor? Then, he realized he did not care. They would not believe him anyway, so what did it matter.

"Yes. The power of the Tesseract would make him all-powerfull. With it, he could conquer all of Yggdrasil without even trying."

"Then, why did you work for him? Surely you must have realised that you were merely a pawn in his play?"

"Yes," he sighed, "but Thanos has ways of... let's just say, _convincing_ you. If you say no to him, he will break your mind and body until you say yes. And I was weak. He offered me a chance, a chance to prove my worth, a chance to show everyone what I was capable of. He offered me vengeance on Thor in the form of his beloved Midgard. He offered me vengeance on Odin in the fact that I was conquering one of his Nine Realms and he could not do a thing to stop me. Perhaps I was lured so easily because of said weakness. 

When the Green Monster hit me on the head, I felt his control slipping, his influence on my mind taken away. But then, it was aleady too late. The Avengers and Odin would not have believed me if I said I acted under the control of Thanos, and I wasn't, fully. But I failed to bring him the Tesseract, so now, I do have a slight problem. So, if it's all the same to you, could you please kill me?

"What?"

"I don't think I could make it any clearer than that. I want to die. You have a sword. Finish it. The people will not condemn you for it, in fact, they will cheer you on. Thor might not be happy, but in the long haul, it will be better for him. That way, he can move on. So kill me." he finished coolly.

She just looked at him, long and hard, as if trying to decide what to do. Then, she turned around and walked to the dungeon exit. When she reached it, she turned around once more.

"Do you know why I hate you so?" she asked. 

Loki thougt about it, but except for the answers he had already given, he couldn't come up with something new, so he shaked his head.

"Because you make it so difficult for me to love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys, but it was a tough chapter to write. I had to start over countless times because I was not happy with what I had written. But it's finally here, so rejoice.  
> Now, I had some comments recently from a few readers who were complaining that they missed the Sifki-heavy first couple of chapters, and although I think this fic is more a Loki fic with strong Sifki elements, I too missed the Sifki parts, for they allowed me a greater freedom then the mere retelling of the movie events. But I had to do it, because if you are going to tell the story of Loki, you have to fully tell it.
> 
> But this chapter is completely non-canon, and we see Sif and Loki, trying to pick up the pieces of their relationship after everything. Seeing that Loki is mostly an introvert person, writing his emotions into dialogue was probably the most difficult part in the whole fic (even more difficult than watching all the movies again and writing down everything Loki did, from speeches to facial expressions).
> 
> So I hope that the Sifki fans will be happy with this chapter. Also, this is not the end of the Sifki scenes, so we have more to look forward to. However, we ARE nearing the end of the story, so I won't be long now.
> 
> Remember, kudos is love, and comments are loveletters ;)
> 
>  
> 
> PS: I am thinking of starting another fic, this time in an alternate universe. I was thinking pirates, but if someone has an idea that he wants me to write, let me now ;)


	19. A mother's love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: None whatsoever.

After Sif left, he was alone with his thoughts. Despite his fear of her reporting everything she had learned to Odin, if felt good to have all these things of his chest. All this poison he had been carrying with him for so long had festered inside him, and letting some of it spill out had been a relief. 

Oh, how he had longed to put that self-righteous pretencious vixen in her place. The way she acted, the way everyone acted was really rage-inducing. They all thought that he, the ungrateful, envious, spiteful, traiterous little brother had betrayed his brother and parents out of sheer jealousy, because it was his nature. Many would whisper darkly that they had seen it coming, that they could see, even from the beginning, that he was a no-good, backstabbing piece of shit. He was the reason their beloved prince was banished to Midgard, only to be foiled when his brother came back to stop him, after wich, he fled to Midgard to exact his revenge, only to be stopped again, by mortals no less. They were still calling for his head, of that he had no doubt.

No, it felt good to finally show just what drove him to do what he did, the injustice that was done to him. To impart a small part of his pain on another. To see her suffer with the knowledge. The knowledge that all of this could have been prevented, if only they could have shown a little kindness to a young boy who was different, who was yearning to be accepted, only to be denied and cast out. The knowledge that they had created their greatest enemy. A fitting punishment, really.

On the other hand, it was still Sif. He did not relish causing her this pain, for no matter how much he tried to deny it, seeing her in pain pained him just as much. Seeing that she still had hope for him, just like Frigga did. Despite his actions, despite the warnings that everybody gave them, they would not lose hope. Even Thor had lost hope after their last battle, but they would not.   _Fools. What hope is there for a fallen prince, disgraced and cast out, locked away forever more?_ The fact that they still cared just proved the extent of their stupidity. 

Her last words continued to spook in his mind. According to her, she still loved him, despite everything he had done. If this was true, or just another lie, he could not say. If she truly still loved him, she must hate herself for it. He had betrayed them all. He had tried to kill her and her friends. He did not deserve to be loved. He did not deserve to be mourned. For the first time, he desperately hoped that she was lying, for it would be much less painful for her if she was. 

He needed time to figure this out. And if luck would have it, he had time. He had all the time in the word. It was not like he had anything better to do.

****

He was staring out of his cell window when the Einherjar were escorting the latest batch of prisoners to their cell. Apparently, after the destruction of the Bifrost, a large gang called the Marauders, taking advantage of Asgard's inability to travel the Nine Realms, started to plunder different Realms. When Thor had returned to Asgard with the Tesseract and his little brother in tow, they now had the means to repair the Bifrost, opening the universe once more. And once more, the armies of Asgard poured forth to stop the threat, and Thor brought order and peace to the Nine Realms. He scoffed. 

These prisoners came from Vanaheim, he had heard from two guards gossiping when they thought he could not hear them. Pathetic.

"Odin continues to bring me new friends. How thoughtful." he said, sarcasticly. Not that he would ever consider conversing with such scum, but the thought that he was not the only one down here was comfortable enough.

"The books I sent, do they not interest you?" Frigga's voice was soft, as always.

"Is that how I am to while away eternity? Reading?" 

"I have done everything in my power to make you comfortable, Loki." 

"Have you?" He quirked his eyebrow. "Does Odin share your concern? Does Thor? It must be so inconvenient, them asking after me, day and night." he mocked. Of course they did not ask after him. After all, they did not care. If they cared, why was Frigga the only one (except for Sif, but she was there for another reason) who bothered herself by visiting him, seeing if there was anything she could do to help him. What remained of his heart, wathever love was still housed in that battered thing, it was all for Frigga. The fact that she was not his mother had hurt more than the fact that Odin was not his father, but he still cared for her anyway.

"You know full well that it was your actions that brought you here." My actions, yes, but what caused my actions? Conveniently ignored, I suppose. As always.

"My actions. I was merely giving truth to the lie that I have been fed my entire life. That I was born to be a king."  _Do you remember? How you made me hope? That one day, I could become king, that I could get the respect and admiration I so craved for, only to find out later that it was all a lie? DO YOU?_

"A king? A true king admits his faults. What of the lives you took on Earth?" 

"A mere handful compared to the number that Odin has taken himself."  _But everyone closes their eyes to that. Odin slew scores of innocents, but nobody but me is calling HIM a monster. I killed perhaps a thousand mortals, compared to the hundreds of thousands Odin killed, but I am the criminal, I am the one rotting in this prison cell. It seems that history is written by the victors, and how you are depicted depends on the side you chose._

She sighed. "Your father..."

"HE'S NOT MY FATHER!" he yelled, furious again. How many times must he tell people. Odin was not his father. He was a lying, scheming tyrant who neglected him for all his life and who never showed him any love. That man was not his father, not anymore. Nothing could change his thoughts, no matter how many people pointed out that he did raised him as his son. He would never call that bastard father again. NEVER!

"Then am I not your mother?" she asked.

He took a deep breath. "You are not!" No matter how much he wished she was, she was, strictly speaking, not. 

She snorted softly. "always so perceptive about everyone but yourself."

She seemed so sad after his words, he desperately wanted to touch her, to hold her hands, but when he tried, he went right through them. The last thing he saw of her were her eyes, filled with grief and pity. It was an illusion, nothing more. An illusion she had cast so she could visit him in his cell. She was not allowed to visit him in person. Loki resented Odin for that. Loki resented Odin for a lot of things.

****

He was lying on his bed, casually tossing a cup in the air and catching it. He had  _really nothing better to do._ But then, suddenly, he could hear knocking and screaming. The sound came from a cell at the end of the hallway. Suddenly, the lights began to flicker. He slowly got up and walked towards the cell window. Suddenly, there was a small explosion, followed by  _something,_ a  _large something_ , pummeling viciously on the floor, and a roar. The two guards that were stationed in the dungeons ran towards to noise, swords drawn, when suddenly, he could hear a scream and a buzz that sounded like something energetic. Then, there was a crack, and the buzzing sound stopped. Somehow, something had managed to break through the barricade. He still could not see a thing, but he heard the sounds of combat. Soon, the sounds stopped, following by other cracks, and he could see prisoners escaping.  _Do not bother, you won't get far._ He was thinking, but then, an enormous monstrosity appeared in his line of sight. He knew it, but only from pictures and drawings; a Kursed, an elite warrior of the Dark Elves, an unstoppable killing machine.  _Weren't they supposed to be dead? Does this mean that Malekith had returned? That means... the Aether. It must be here, in Asgard_.  _Interesting. Very interesting._ _  
_

He looked the Kursed in the eye, and it looked back. He could feel the distrust radiating of him, and he smirked. The creature snored and walked away, clearly not intent on letting him escape.

"You might want to take the stairs to the left." Loki called after him. He did not really know why he said that. Probably to cause more trouble for Odin. He _was_ the God of Mischief, after all.

The Kursed looked over his shoulder, and a look of mutual understanding passed between them. Then, he turned around and walked away.

***

Soon, the alarm went off, and he could already see the numerous Einherjar running towards the dungeon.  _Fools. You leave your city undefended. They are counting on Heimdall as defence, probably, but then again, the good Gatekeeper did not see this little spy enter, did he?_

After a few minutes, Fandral and Volstagg barged into the room and began fighting. He paid no attention. In fact, he really did not care. He was leaning against a pillar, reading a book. Even when a marauder smashed into the barrier, he did not look up. He only looked up when Thor landed in the room.  _Thor._ He had not seen his not-brother in over a year. Never once did he deign to visit his disgraced, imprisoned younger brother. No words of comfort, no hope in his recovery, nothing. It was as if Thor was determined to forget all about him, probably thinking that not thinking about Loki would make him go away. He heard him say something about returning to their cells, no harm, bla bla bla, the usual stuff, until he was hit in the face with a hammer. Loki chuckled silently and with glee. Thor, ever the brute, rescinded his offer and went on to 'beat the crap out of them' as the Midgardians would say ( he noticed that he started to use their language more often these days; they had such _colourful_ expressions).

But suddenly, he left, and Loki had not the faintest idea why. Some of the enemies were still standing, after all. This was not like Thor. Something must have happened. He could only guess why.

****

When the guard came to him the following day, he unleashed his magic to lash out at his environment, destroying whatever furniture he had in his anger and grief.  _She was dead. She was dead._ Frigga, his "mother", the one person who had always loved him, always supported him, always chose to believe in him and his abilities, was dead. Apparently, she had died protecting Thor's Jane Foster, who apparently held the Aether inside her weak, mortal form, from falling in the hands of Malekith the Accursed. It was his Kursed, the one who had escaped form the dungeons, who had stabbed her and left her to bleed to death. When they found her body, there was nothing more they could do. 

 _It is all my fault. I told him to go left. I practicaly showed him the way. Plus,_ _I should have been there. I should have been there to protect her. If I had had not been in this cell, I could have saved her. This is your fault, Loki 'Friggason'._  He could not keep his tears at bay any longer, and he wept.

It was not only grief, however. Slowly, it was replaced by anger. Anger at himself, for not being there to protect him. Anger at Jane Foster, because Frigga had to sacrifice her life to protect her, a mortal. Anger at Odin, especially, for not allowing him to attend her funeral. He did not even give him a chance to say his goodbyes, to watch her dissolve into stardust, to see with his own eyes the floating orbs that every citizen of Asgard would release in memory of the fallen. Therefore, he hated Odin.

But most of all, he felt an burning fury, a hate that filled him, a desire to hunt down and punish her murderer, the Dark Elf Malekith. He would not rest before he and his monster would pay.

Oh, and he would make them pay.

 


	20. Of thight costumes and surging righteousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My birthday is coming up pretty soon, so perhaps if I ask nicely, Marvel/Disney will give me the rights to their characters. (If Sony and Fox would to the same, we can finally have that ultimate Marvel cross-over movie universe that we have all been waiting for). So, if you are willing to accommodate to my wishes, please talk to my attorney

_Dead._

_Dead, because of you._

_You killed her._

_Monster._

_No, you are NOT a monster. She did not think so. To her, you were her son. She loved you, no matter what horrendous deeds you have done._

_And you let her die._

For the first time in two years, he was not controlled by anger nor hate. He did not think about the lie that his life was, the schemes and machinations of Odin, the monster that he was inside or a mad Titan scouring the galaxies for him. He felt grief, so much grief that it pysically hurt him. In his grief, he lashed out at everything that was in reach. His cell was destroyed pretty quick. He threw the food he received against the walls instead of eating it. He wanted out. He wanted to find his  _mother's_ murderer and make him pay.  _Oh, and he will. When I break free from this cell, there is no place in all of Yggdrasil for you to hide in, Malekith._

But that was the root of his problem; there was no way out. He used every magic trick he had ever learned to escape the confines of his cell, but there was no loophole. He tried ensnaring the guards, but they never spoke a word.  _Probably, Odin has forbidden them to talk to me. They still fear my silver tongue. Perhaps I must be grateful that they have not sewn my mouth shut. Not yet._ After all, with Frigga gone, there was no one left to stand between Odin and him. But he could not let them kill him now, not when he had a task to fulfil. 

His anger at the Allfather rose again.  _First he locks me in here, then he lets the only woman who has ever loved me unconditionally and eternally DIE, then he forbids me to attend his funeral, and then he sends a guard to tell me the news. And now, he lets me rot in here._

He sighed sank to the floor and blindly stared ahead of him. He could see his feet were dirty from stepping on some berries . He probably looked like hell, dressed only in a green shirt and black pants, his hair disshelved and a look of madness and sorrow plastered on his face.  _If only mother could see me now._ She would be appalled.

He sat there for quite a while. The only visitor he had received was Sif, who offered her condolences and stated that she had begged the Allfather so that he would be allowed to attend the funeral. Tears were in her eyes, but he ignored her. Then, after a while, without saying another word, she left, and he was alone again, alone with his thoughts. He did not know how long he sat there, for there was no way to know the time in the dungeons, and he could swear that the guards brought his meal on different moments each day, to deliberately confuse him.

Then, he heard footsteps.  _Some guards, most likely._ He quickly cast an illusion of himself in his normal state, with all the furniture intact. He would not grant Odin the pleasure of knowing how defeated he was, how hard he had hit the bottom.  _He will not see me broken. I WILL not let me see me broken._

But it was no mere guard. He could recognize those blond haires anywhere, altough they had grown considerably since the last time he saw the man.  _At last, Asgard's golden son has come to pay his traiterous little brother a visit._ _How thoughtful._

"Thor" he sneered. "After all this time and now you come to visit me. WHY?" he spat out. "Have you come to gloat? To mock?" 

"Loki, enough. No more illusions." Thor stated. 

Loki was momentarily stunned; for the first time, Thor could see straight through his illusion. Perhaps it was the grief that had made him more percerptive. Perhaps it was  _his_ grief that had made his illusion weaker. Or perhaps he knew that Loki would not be so composed after Frigga's dead.  _You are learning, Thor. Perhaps one day, you could obtain some brains and actually start to think._

He bowed his head and the illusion disappeared, along with all the intact furniture. Now Thor could see the real Loki. Now he could see what they had done to him.

"Now you see me, brother."  _Brother._ He had said it without even thinking. But then, he realized, no matter how different they were, no matter how great the chasm between them had become, they would always have one thing in common; Frigga was their mother, she had cared for them both and they both wanted revenge on her killer.  _Together. It's what she would have wanted._ _  
_

Thor did not respond, but simply walked towards a different window, one that was closer to where Loki was lying. The look in his eyes was.... not quite definable. It upset Loki, who had always easily read Thor's emotions. _When had he become so... mature?_

Unable to bear the uncomfortable silence and Thor's scrutinizing gaze anymore, he asked him the question that had been plaguing him for all this time; "Did she suffer?" He sincerely hoped not. She did not deserve such a fate.

"I did not come here to share our grief. Instead, I offer you the chance of a far richer sacrament..." 

Now Loki was definitely intrigued. "Go on."

"I know you seek vengeance as much as I do. You help me escape Asgard, and I will grant it to you. Vengeance. And afterward, this cell."  _So, if understand you correctly, you will help me escape this cell so I can help you to stop Malekith, and then, we will return to Asgard, you will be received as a hero and I will be put back into this cell, locked up for all eternity. Not bloody likely._ Still, he was goin to take it. If he had to spend any more time in this cell, he would go crazy, and he DID want vengeance against Malekith and his Dark Elf horde. Plus, it would grant him ample opportunity to devise a plan and escape his custody. The offer was far to tempting to refuse.

He chuckled darkly. "You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?"

"I don't. Mother did." Loki flinched a little at these words. The only person who would still believe him, who would still believe in him was dead. Thor obviously did not trust him anymore, and he could not say that he blamed him. But still, it hurt him a bit. "You should know that when we fought each other in the past, I did so with a glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there somewhere. That hope no longer exists to protect you. You betray me, and I will kill you." He swallowed; he had managed to break Thor's unbreakable faith in him, the belief that Thor held all during his failed conquest of Earth; that Loki could still be redeemed, that somehow, he could find the right path again, the path that lead homewards.  _Even Thor has given up on me._

He was silent for a while, pondering those words. "Hm. When do we start?"

 

***

When Thor opened his prison cell, he felt a warm rush and a familiar tingle in his body when his magic finally got free reigns. He used his restored abilities to change himself in something more suitable, and after the blink of an eye, he was once again dressed in his familiar leather armor. After all this time, it felt good to be able to fully use his Seiðr once more. He could see Thor stiffen, and he knew that he was waiting fro Loki's escape or attack. But he just smirked, bowed and raised his hand and poited towards the exit. "After you."

Thor still wasn't wholly comfortable, but he went anyway, Loki right behind him. After all this time, being able to stretch his legs felt like Valhalla to him. It instantly put him in a better mood, and when they reached the hallways, he was already teasing Thor.

"This is so unlike you, brother. So  _clandestine._ Are you sure you wouldn't rather just punch your way out?" Damn it, he felt positively  _giddy_ at the prospect of this adventure.

"If you keep speaking I just might." he retorted. Loki would never admit it, but he missed their back-and-forth bickering from days past. For the first time in centuries, he found that he actually enjoyed Thor's company. Althoug, enjoy is a large word. Let's go with tolerate, yes.

"Fine, "he said in a mock hurt voice, "I'm not even here." And with  a simple spell, he transformed himself into an Einherjar guard. "Is this better?"

Thor looked at him in exasperation. "It's better company, at least."

Loki raised his head slightly in thought. "Still, we could be less conspicuous." And he used his Seiðr to transform Thor into...

"Hm, brother, you look ravishing." He looked Sif's body up and down.  _Still beautiful and deadly. Don't forget, this is Thor, not Sif._

Thor looked down to his body and sighed: "It will hurt no less when I kill you in this form."

"Very well." He was to deep into the game to stop now, and he was enjoying himself far too much. "Perhaps you prefer one of your new companions, given that you seem to like them so much." When the magic had done it's work, Thor was Thor again and Loki...

"Ooh, this is MUCH better." He looked down to his spandex-clad body, the blue and the red-white stripes and that ridiculously white star in the middle of his chest. "Costume's a bit much... so tight. But the confidence, I can feel the righteousness surging." He turned around, "Hey, you wanna have a rousing discussion about truth,honor, patriotism? God bless America..." Suddenly, Thor had him pressed against a column, his hand over his mouth.  _Hey, I was just having some fun. Plus, it was a harmless prank._ _  
_

 _"What?"_ but when he followed his brother's gaze, he saw to Einherjar patrolling the hallways and disappearing in an adjoining corridor. If Thor had not silenced him, they would have spotted them. Plus, apart from his magic, he had nothing to defend himself with.

"You could at least furnish me with a weapon. My dagger, something..." He did not truly expect Thor to comply, but he sighed, went into his pockets and brought forth a small, metal object. Was the fool really going to arm him? Just when he thought that Thor had grown something of a brain.

"At last" he said, "a little common sense." However, his smirk disappeared when he heard a metal click. When he brought his hands up to his face, they were handcuffed. He scowled at Thor, who was grinning. 

"I thought you liked tricks." His mind was divided; half of him wanted to laugh at being succesfully tricked by Thor, the other half wanted to strangle his oaf of a brother for shackling him. He decided to do neither.

And now... they waited. Thor had told him that Sif would come and bring Jane Foster with her. Jane Foster's body still held the Aether, and Malekith was after the Aether, so they were going to use it as bait. In any other circumstance, he would doubtlessly have tried to obtain the Aether himself (he would be strong enough to properly wield it, he was a god, after all), but now, he wanted revenge more than he wanted power.

And soon, he saw Sif approaching with the mortal by his side. When Jane Foster saw him, she exclaimed: "You?" She had never seen him (maybe perhaps on pictures), but she knew what he had done to Thor, her friend Erik Selvig and Midgard itself. So, it was no surprise that when he tried to introduce himself, as a proper gentleman should do (I am Loki. You may have heard from me...) she slapped him right in the face. It did not hurt, for she was small, not very strong and  _mortal,_ but he was suprised nonetheless.

"That was for New York!" she spat out. He had to admit, for a mortal, she was very  _spirited._ Not many people would dare to smack the God of Mischief in the face, not even while he is handcuffed. He admired her for it, and he could see how a woman like this would be able to evoke such a change in an idiot such as Thor.

So, when he said; "I like her!" he really meant it.

He continued to stare at Jane, trying to figue out the enigma that she was, when he heard the unmistakeble sound of approaching guards.

"Take her. I'll hold them off" he heard Sif saying, followed by a "Thank you" from Thor.

When he tried to move away, her glaive was suddenly at his throat.

"Betray him, and I will kill you." she threatened, and he saw in her eyes that she really meant it. No matter how much she "loved" him, she would still end his life if he betrayed them again. 

"It's good to see you too, Sif." She still glared daggers at him, but her eyes softened a little, and she removed the blade from his throat, allowing them to go. For a moment, he considered saying something, but then changed his mind and hurried after Jane and Thor.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to comment if you have questions, suggestions or just praises.
> 
>  
> 
> See you in a couple of days


	21. Trust my rage!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven't heard from Disney or Marvel, so it does not seem that I will be obtaining the rights to these characters any time soon.

They left Sif to deal with the guards and made their way towards the throne room. According to Thor, their only hope of escaping the palace and leaving Asgard was the very ship that Malekith and his Dark Elves used to breach it. Apparently, in the scuffle, they had left it there. When they entered, he indeed saw a strange black ship, tall and very slim. It was guarded by a large man with a great beard and an even larger belly: Volstagg. He had not spoken to Volstagg since, well, since  _before,_ and if they did not get along then, he highly doubted their relationship would have improved over the last two years. Not that Volstagg would talk to him; as always, fully focused on Thor.  _Just like everybody else._ He did not mind. Not anymore.

"I will give you as much time as I can." As always, Loki was astounded at their willingness to sacrifice themselves for their leader, Thor. They would go to prison for this, if not worse, but they considered it an honour if they could help Thor. Sif had once assured him that they would do the same for him, but he found he did not believe that. They had given no inclination towards it in the past. 

"Thank you, my friend" Thor replied, and he grabbed the other man's hand. Jane Foster merely smiled and nodded her thanks, receiving a smile from him in return. Loki, however, opted to ignore the man and just walk right past him, but suddenly, he felt a hand slamming on his chest and holding him back. Volstagg turned his head towards him, trying to make himself look threatening, but it only made him smirk. There was not much that could threaten him these days. He had seen too much, been through too much to be intimidated by a gluttonous idiot like Volstagg.

"If you even _think_ about betraying him..." he hissed softly, but before he could finish.

"You'll kill me?" He smirked, "evidently there will be a line."

Volstagg huffed in anger, but released him all the same. He snorted and walked away. They entered the strange ship and were immediately engulfed by darkness. The only light that entered the room was through a small hole in the ceiling, right above the control panel. Thor walked towards it and turned around, a puzzled look on his face. Then, hesitantly, he pressed a button on his right side. The ship gave a whine, but it did not start.  _He does not know what he is doing,_ Loki realized with a start. _If he does not find it quick, we will be caught, and there will be no mercy for me. They will execute me. There is no one to stand between me and the noose, or axe, or sword or whatever. And Mother shall not be avenged._ Guilt washed over him again as he thought about his mother and the monster that killed her, the monster that he had helped.  _The least I can do is destroy the monster that had murdered her. But for that, we need to escape, and for that..._

"I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing?" Loki asked, getting a little impatient.

"I said, how hard can it be?"  _Really? What did you expect? That you could just walk inside the ship, start it and take off? Great thinking, Thor._  He could hear footsteps resounding through the halls. The Einherjar had probably overcome Sif.  _I hope she's all right._ He could hear the sound of battle wafting in from the outside. Now, all that stood between the Einherjar and the escapees was a large man with a greataxe and a stomach to match it. Thor HAD to start the ship, NOW.

"Well, whatever you are doing, I suggest you do it faster."

"Shut up, Loki" Thor bit at him.  _Ok, DEFINITELY not the time to goad. Leave him be, Loki, his attention span is short enough as it is._

_"_ You must have missed something." he tried to help, and he started to examine the buttons as well.

"No, I didn't, I have pressed every button on this thing." Thor was getting annoyed, and he was smashing the buttons.

"No, don't hit it, just press it, gently." he scolded.

"I AM PRESSING IT GENTLY, IT'S NOT WORKING ." Thor yelled, but at the same moment he must have pressed theright button, for the ship started and blue schematics of their surroundings appeared all around them. Thor almost crowed in victory. He pressed another button and the engine started, lifting them slowly in the air. Thor turned the ship around, and he could hear the breaking of stone, many times.

"I think you missed a column." he joked, but Thor was obviously not in the mood, for he yelled "SHUT UP!" and the ship shot forwards, bursting through the only just repaired palace wall. The ship was clearly difficult to handle, because Thor could not keep it straight, only narrowly avoiding crashing into many buildings. _He flies like he fights. Without thought._

"Look, why don't you let me take over, I am clearly the better pilot." Loki tried to reason, but to no avail.

"Is that right? Well, out of the two of us, wich one can ACTUALLY fly?"  _What? How does that even apply to this situation. You can fly because you throw Mjolnir and it carries you with it. That is completely different than controlling an aircraft, wich requires skill, precision and finesse, qualities you clearly lack._

The scathing reply that he was about to give was cut short when a cannons started to fire on them. Thor did a freefall to get them out of their range, only narrowly regaining control before smashing in the grounds, only to barely shoot between two bridge pillars. Loki could not contain a hoot of enjoyment at Thor's expense.

Jane Foster took that moment to fall on the ground. Clearly, all the excitement and chaos was too much for her to bear.

"Oh dear," he called out in mock concern, "is she dead?"

"JANE!" Thor bellowed, but she waved her hand dismissively.

"I'm OK."  _No she's not. The Aether is beginning to drain her powers. Soon, there will be nothing left._

Multiple cannons started to fire at them as they were making their way through the city, and a few hit their marks. Momentarily distracted, Thor did not manage to fully spin the ship, and their tail smashed into a building, completely destroying it. But before he could open his mouth, Thor beat him to it; "NOT A WORD." he threatened, and Loki held his mouth. For the time being.

He could hear the whine of engines behind them, and he knew that Asgard had sent their own warships to pursue them.

"Now they are following us." Loki commented.

Soon, the ship was rocked back and forth as some of their shots hit their mark.

"Now they are firing at us." he remarked, annoyed.

"YES, THANK YOU FOR THE COMMENTARY, LOKI, IT'S NOT AT ALL DISTRACTING." Thor bellowed. They were flying towards a tunnel flanked by two giant statues. Again, he could not turn fast enough, and he hit the statue on the left, a statue of Bor, no less.  _How ironic._

"Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather." he remarked dryly, but Thor did not retort. They flew out of the tunnel. They had left the city and were now racing across the water. Thor flew down, next to a great bridge, but Loki had about seen enough.

"You know, this is wonderful. This is a tremendous idea. Let's steal the biggest, most obvious ship in the universe and escape in that. Flying around the city, smashing into everything in sight so everyone can see us. It's BRILLIANT, Thor, it's truly brilliant. " He yelled, but before he could say anything else, Thor gave him a shove and he was falling, falling through empty air and he was crying out, until he crashed into a hard surface a few seconds later. He could hear someone laugh derisively, and then he heard the thud of Thor and Jane landing.

"I see your time in the dungeons has made you no less graceful, Loki."  _Fandral. Oh, how I would love to wipe that smile off his pretty face._ Instead, he picked himself up. In the distance, he could see the Dark Elf ship, still pursued by the Asgardian ships.  _A ruse. He wanted everyone to see the ship, so that everyone would follow it, giving us time to escape._ He turned towards Thor.

"You lied to me." He smirked, "I'm impressed!"

"I'm glad you are pleased."  _Well, he does not sound glad at all. Perhaps the warrior inside him balks at the idea of using deception._ "Now do as you promised. Take us to your secret pathway." Loki smirked at that, and went to the helm. His smirk turned into a broad grin as he wrapped his hands around the helm, and he changed course, sending the boat across the water towards the mountains. 

Then, he heard blasts, and the water around them was illuminated by orange light. Apparently, one ship had not fallen victim to the ruse, and was following them. He used a few evasive manoeuvres, and then raised their ship, so it was flying above the other.

"Fandral." Thor requested.

"Right!", the other man said, and he grabbed a rope "For Asgard!" and he jumped. He could hear Fandral shout something, and then the sound of fighting, and then nothing. Thor nodded his head in thanks, so apparently Fandral had managed to defeat them.

They were flying high above the water now, and he changed course one last time. He had found the secret passageway.

"LOKI!" Thor warned when they neared a great mountain, or to be more precise, a small hole in a great mountain.

"If it were easy, everyone would do it." 

"Are you mad?" Thor yelled.

"Possibly."

They neared the crack, and his brow furrowed in concentration. He managed not to crash against the rock, but the passage was barely broad enought for their ship. The sides were scraping against the wall, and just when the situation began to get dire, there was a flash, and suddenly, they were in another realm. A dark, dusty, dreary realm, home of the Dark Elves. Svartalfheim.

He could not contain it. "Ta-daa."

*****

They were flying over the site of an ancient battle field. Shipwrecks were all over the place.  _This must be the location of the final battle of the Dark Elves against the forces of Bor. The site of their defeat._ There was something eerie about this place, something ghastly. This Realm put him on edge. Thor too, apparently, but he distracted himself by taking care of Jane. She was sleeping again, and Thor was tucking her in, soflty stroking her hair. It seemed like she was sleeping all the time nowadays.  _It must be the Aether. Shame that such a powerful force is wasted on a mere mortal._

"What I could to with the power that flows through those veins." He thought out loud.

"It would consume you." Thor answered.  _You were always quick to underestimate me, 'brother'._

"She's holding up all right." he pointed out. "For now."

"She's strong in ways you'll never even know." That stung.

 "Say goodbye." he advised Thor.  _One day, you will have to._

"Not this day." Thor responded stubbornly, his jaw set.

"This day, the next, a hundred years, it's nothing. It's a heartbeat. You'll never be ready."  _Best prepare for it._ "The only woman who's love you prized will be snatched from you."

"And will that satisfy you?" Thor asked angrily

"Satisfaction is not in my nature." he retorted bitterly.

"Surrender is not in mine."  _Aah, truly his father's son. Too stubborn to see things as they really are. Too prideful to admit making a mistake._

"The son of Odin." he scoffed.

"No, not just of Odin. You think you alone were loved by mother? You had her tricks but I had her trust."  _She DID trust me, you witless fool. She BELIEVED in me when no one else did. She LOVED me, and you are not going to take that away from me._

"Trust? Was that her last expression, trust? While you let her die?" He spat out. _YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HER! AND YOU FAILED!_

"What good were you in your cell?" Thor scoffed.  _Why you... bastard!_

"Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE?"  _It's your fault that I could not be there to protect her. You and Odin alike._

Thor shoved him backwards against the rail of the ship. "YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO!" He pinned Loki on the railing, ready to punch him in the face. "YOU KNOW DAMN WELL!" For a second, Loki actually thought that Thor was going to punch him. But then, his expression changed and he stepped backwards. "She wouldn't want us to fight."

"Well, she wouldn't exactly be shocked." he pointed out. They smiled slightly at that, but Thor's smile soon disappeared.

"I wish I could trust you." He turned away, defeated.

_If you do, You'd be the fool I always took you for._ "Trust my rage."

****

They were sailing towards a large cliff, when suddenly, a large ship appeared at the horizon. It was similar to the one they had used to escape the palace, only much bigger, and it had the ability to make itself invisible. At the same moment, Jane Foster opened her eyes, and they were black, black from the Aether's power, before slowly turning back to their regular colour.

"Jane." Thor breathed, and she followed their gazes towards the ship.

"Malekith." she whispered.

They left the ship at the edge of the slope. Down in the valley, the ship had landed, and the remaining Dark Elves were emerging. He could see the Kursed, the monster that had killed Frigga, and he could feel the rage pumping through his veins.  _He would kill it. No matter how strong it was, no matter how hard he would have to fight, he would slay that abomination._ But for that, he needed a weapon and the use of his hand. Thor and he had come up with a plan to lure them into a trap. He had to say, he was quite looking forward to it. It had some  _very_ enjoyable moments.

"Right. You ready?" Thor asked Jane, but he answered instead. "I am." They walked towards the edge.

"You know, this plan of yours is going to get us killed." Loki reminded Thor.

"Yes, possibly."

He held out his shackles towards Thor, who looked at them with doubt.

"You still don't trust me, brother?" Loki asked.

"Would you?" he asked, but he unlocked them nonetheless. He rubbed his wrists, glad to be free. He turned his head towards the Elves.

"No I wouldn't" he said softly, and a dagger appeared at his side, and with one swift motion, he stabbed Thor in the abdomen and threw him over the edge, of the slope.

"THOR." Jane Foster screamed as Loki jumped after him, dagger at the ready. "No" she sobbed.

After a few tumbles, Thor was lying on the ground, and Loki was approaching rapidly.

"You really think I cared about Frigga? About any of you?" He viciously kicked Thor in the face.The Dark Elves were approaching. "All I ever wanted was you and Odin, dead at my feet." Thor raised his hand to summon Mjolnir, but Loki grabbed his wrist and with one swift movement, cut it off. Thor screamed in pain, and Jane hurried at his side, horror and desperation filling her eyes. He grabbed Jane and hauled her off towards Malekith.

"Malekith." he yelled, keeping a firm grasp on the struggling Jane, "I am Loki of Jotunheim, and I bring you a gift." He threw Jane at his feet. "I only ask one thing in return. A good seat from wich to watch Asgard burn.

The Kursed began to speak, and after he was finished, Malekith nodded. Loki thought that he would attend to Jane immediately, but instead he walked to where Thor was lying, writhing with pain. "Look at me." he commanded, and when Thor looked, he lifted his hand, and Jane floated towards him, and he began to extract the Aether from her body. A red mist came out of her mouth, her nostrils, her ears and even her eyes. It assembled itself at his hand. Suddenly, she shook and fell.

"LOKI! NOW!" Thor bellowed. He removed the illusion over Thor's hand, and Mjolnir flew right into his outstretched fingers. Lightning cackeled in the air. Loki sprinted towards Jane and covered her with his body while Thor used the power of his hammer against the Aether. The lightning engulfed it completely, and there was a red explosion.  _No. It can't be that easy. That would be a first._

The smoke cleared away, and Thor was standing there, hammer still in his hands, surrounded by red shards. Loki was still covering Jane Foster, who was looking with big eyes (her eyes, finally). Apparently, the Aether had been crystalized and smashed. But suddenly, the shards began to move. Towards Malekith. Malekith merely smirked at them when the Aether took form once more, and he accepted it withing him.  _We have failed. Malekith has the Aether._

Malekith looked at the Kursed, and they began to walk away. Thor began swinging his hammer left and right, knocking away the remaining Dark Elves. The Kursed turned around, retrieved something from his belt and threw it straight at Jane and him. Immediately, he pushed her away, but he was not able to get away as well. It exploded, and he felt himself being pulled towards it. He knew that if he touched it, he would die. Horribly. But there was nothing he could do, no seiðr. Right before he touched it, however, Thor flew into him, throwing them out of the blast radius. They picked themselves up. The Elves were almost at their ship. Thor began to twirl his hammer and flew off towards them. Before he could hit them, however, a vicious backhand knocked him off course. He could see him scrambling to get up, only to be knocked away once more when the Kursed was upon him. Above their head, the ship disappeared; Malekith had departed. 

Suddenly, he realized he was surrounded by Dark Elves. He readied his dagger and grinned ferally. It had been too long since he had a proper fight. And really, these Elves were no match for him. He dispatched them in a couple of seconds with vicious efficiency.

Then, he looked towards Thor. The Kursed was beating him to a pulp. He picked up a sword and silently moved behind them. Just when he raised his fist to finish Thor, he stabbed him in the back, the blade piercing his body. But instead of dying, he simply turned around, grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him on the blade. He gasped and he heard Thor yell. The Kursed snorted at him and threw him away. But he had accomplished what he wanted. When the Kursed walked towards him, he turned, looked it in the eye and said.

"I'll see you in Hel, monster." Suddenly, the Kursed noticed the beeping and looked down at the activated grenade. Before he could remove it, it went off, sucking him in the Vortex, completely destroying him.

Then, the pain overook him, and he began to turn grey. Thor hurried at his side.

"No, no, no, fool, you didn't listen." he said, and tears began to pool in his eyes.

"I know. I'm a fool. I'm a fool." he began to shake. His vision began to blur. Only Thor was still visible.

"Stay with me." Thor gently cupped his cheeck.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he rasped.

"Shh. It's OK. It's all right." Thor said, and he tried to smile at him.  _He had forgiven him. Perhaps the Norns had as well. He died in battle, so that means he would go to Valhalla. Will they mourn me? Will they mourn their fallen prince who gave his life to protect the brother he had harmed so many times? Will they forgive him for his crimes?_ "I'll tell Father what you did here today."

He looked Thor straight in the eyes. "I did not do it for him." Then, everything began to turn black. The last thing that he saw was  _her,_ smiling at him. It comforted him. He hoped, with his sacrifice, that he would earn her forgiveness. He hoped that she would think that he died as a good man.

Then, all went dark.

****

In the throne room of Asgard, Odin stood at his throne, his back turned towards the hall, deep in thoughts. But still, he could feel the Einherjar approaching. 

"Forgive my, my liege. I have returned from the Dark World with news."

Odin slowly turned his head around. "Thor?"

The Einherjar shaked his head. "There was no sign of Thor. Or the weapon. But.." Odin now fully turned himself towards the Einherjar. 

"What?"

"We found a body" he said, eyes downcast.

"Loki!" Odin said.

The man nodded, and looked up at Odin, careful to hide the small smirk that was beginning to form on his face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all you die-hard Sifki fans, good news. This was the last full canon-chapter, so the next chapters will be post-canon, wich gives me more freedom to create setpieces and to flash out relationships. The Dark World ends with a cliffhanger, with our beloved trickster on the throne, but I have a slight feeling that that is not the end of the marvellous misadventures of our favorite God Of Mischief. It is my intention to tell all of it, and if you guys like what I will do with the character, why then I'll contact Disney/Marvel and try to sell it as Thor 3 or perhaps the Avengers 3. Fingers crossed.
> 
>  
> 
> O yes, in this chapter, Loki really gets stabbed, because I am convinced that is what happened in the film. I don't exactly know HOW he survived it (magick, duh), but I am faily certain that was no illusion. It also gave me the opportunity to give a POV right before he is going to die, to think about his life and what he has done.
> 
> If you like or have questions or comments, leave a comment. If this is your first time reading this story, kudos is always nice.


	22. And the truth will set you free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own these characters, but now that we finally reached post-canon, I am proud to say that whatever follows is a product of my imagination, and therefore, my own.

"I cannot give you my blessing, nor can I wish you good fortune."

"I know!" Thor said. He nodded curtly, turned around and started to walk away.

"If I were proud of the man that my son had become, even that I could not say." Thor turned around to face him. "It would speak only from my heart. Go, my son!" he said, giving Thor the freedom he so desired, a life that was untained by the burden of the throne, a life full of love and joy.

"Thank you, Father;" he smiled slightly. Then, he turned around and walked away. He watched him growing smaller in the distance, until he was just a tiny red spot. With a flash of green, he let the face of the Allfather melt away,

"No, thank you!" Loki said, and he smirked.

***

 _What is the matter with you?_ He scolded himself.  _This is what you wanted, right? The throne? The power? Then why are you so unhappy? This is your chance, your chance to rule. Your chance to show everyone that you can be a wise and benevolent king. To have their respect. Their admiration?_

 _But it is not you they respect and admire, is it? It is the Allfather. You are merely an imposter on the throne, playing at being a king. If they suspected for a moment that you are not Odin, they would cut your head off in a second._ It grated him that everybody showed him that much respect, moreso because they did not gave it to him when he actually sat on the throne, when Thor was banished. It all seemed like a lifetime ago.  _They never even gave me a chance._ That was different now. His counsellors actually listened at him now, and when he made a final decision, there was no one that dared to question him. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that all the respect he received was because they tought he was Odin. He was not used to it, the whole aspect of "respect" or "admiration" was pretty much a foreign thing for him. 

But to be honest, ruling was quite tedious. Most things he had to handle were simple land disputes or other trivial matters. He did not know how Odin could stand it, to listen to farmers all day long while they whined that their neighbour's lifestock was eating his grain. Now, he could understand why Odin was always curt to them when he was finished holding court, long ago. After listening to this incessant nagging all day, you finally get to retire and then there are a couple of brats running around, causing scenes and wreaking havoc. The last thing that anyone wants to deal with after a whole day listening to these sheep bleating about their lives.  Sometimes, the urge to throttle one of them was almost too great to resist.  _I don't know why I wanted this in the first place._

 _You wanted it because Thor was going to get it. You wanted it because you wanted to prove that you could be better at certain things than Thor._ But Thor was on Midgard, and so unable to see his brother's rule, and how he did it better than he could ever do. So, his victory was hollow. He had won, but there was no one there to see it. Plus, he could hardly say that he was given the throne because they thought him more capable of ruling. Now he had taken it, and that it why it did not feel like victory. It was not the position he had so desired, it was the comfirmation that went along with it.

He would never admit it out loud, but he missed Thor. He had tried to give him the throne, all those weeks ago, when he had returned from Midgard, triumphant. He had defeated Malekith and saved the Nine Realms from eternal darkness. So Loki had given him the throne, just as Odin would have done. He would never admit this also, but Thor deserved it, and was ready for it. But Thor rejected his offer, instead opting to stay with Jane Foster and protect the Nine Realms. He had even said that he, Loki, would have been better suited for the throne. Loki rather doubted it; Thor had grown in these past few years into a mature, caring, loving, brave, heroic man. And he? A traitorous, evil, backstabbing, monstrous wretch of a man. And yet, he sat on the throne and Thor did not. Ygddrasil had a strange sort of humor.

But there were benefits as well. He now had full control over Asgard and, by extension, the Nine Realms. And he could really leave his mark on their history. He was determined to be a wise and fair ruler, and in pursuit of this goal, he would take many drastic but beneficial measures. The people were startled in the beginning, frowning at this "New Odin" and murmuring behind his back about the sudden change, but soon  it was surplaced by sounds of approval. He took risks that the Allfather never would have taken, and it paid off. His bold way of handeling matter quickly won him many supporters, and soon, he found that the loyalty to the throne had never been greater in all the history of Asgard.

But one night, he woke up, screaming and sweating heavily. He was trembling, and had to grip his headbord to calm himself down. He knew that it was just a nightmare, but it seemed so real. It had  _felt_  so real. And then, as clear as water, like a knife through his brain, he heard a voice.

_"there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can not find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain."_

The next day, he began to shore up Asgard's defences. The old outer wall was repaired and manned again. Many young men (and a few women) were drafted into the army, to receive a proper training. The shields around the castle were restored, he had new guns placed around the city and increased the patrols. He personally installed wards to warn him against any alien intruders, in Asgard and in all the other realms. He debated leaving Asgard, as his presence would only draw Thanos' attention, but he decided against it. The Tesseract was here, and that was enough reason for Thanos to attack Asgard. Plus, there was no one in Asgard that knew more about him and his armies than him, and his knowledge would perhaps be crucial in Asgard's survival. 

He also placed extra guards in the Weapons Vault, to protect the Tesseract at all costs. It was contained in a small box that limited it's energy output, but it was still very dangerous. But it was a lot safer here than it was on Midgard, and his attack on that Realm had made Odin realise that he could spare no expense at keeping it safe. He also restricted the acces to the Weapons Vault to their guards (hand-picked by Lady Sif herself) and the King. Anyone else must have his permission to enter. 

 When he wanted to leave the Weapons Vault, his eyes fell on a small box, black with golden edges, and something red swirling within it.  _The Aether._ Thor had taken it with him to Asgard when he had defeated Malekith. Someone had just put it there. He glanced behind him, and saw the golden gauntlet standing on it's pedestal. He looked back at the Aether again.  _This has to go, as quick as possible._ _If Asgard falls, he cannot have the gauntlet AND two stones. Plus, if it remains here, Thanos' eye will fall on us even sooner. It HAS to go._

He took the box, walked back towards the throne room, sat down and summoned Lady Sif and Volstagg. He gave them the Aether and sent them on their way. 

***

Later that night, he was standing in Odin and Frigga's bedchamber ( _his_ chamber now, he supposed, but it felt wrong.) He missed his own chambers, but how would the people react if they knew that their king was sleeping in the chambers of his enstranged and hateful adopted son. 

  _Was it a good idea to send the Aether to the Collector? Could Taneleer Tivan be trusted? What if he is in league with Thanos?_ He shaked his head. If the Elder would be after the Infinity Stones, he would probably collect them for himself. Plus, he did not have the Tesseract and lacked the resources to obtain it.  _No, the Aether is safe. For the moment._

He let the illusion over his body slip, and a wave of relief washed over him. Using his seiðr to keep up the Allfather's appearance was taxing his strength, and being able to move in his own body, the body he was used to simply felt divine.

But before he could enjoy his liberty further, there was a knock on the door. Hastily, he took the Allfather's form on once more, and grunted: "Enter!". The door opened and Sif stepped into the room. She put her glaive on a small table and bowed deeply before him.

"Allfather, I came here to give my report. We have delivered the Aether, and it is now in the hands of the Collector, just like you ordered."

He gave her a weary smile. "Excellent. You have my thanks, Lady Sif. Now go and rest. Asgard will need your strength and skill again soon enough." and with a wave of his hand, dismissed her. She did not leave, however.

"Is something the matter, Lady Sif?" he asked, not unkindly. He knew that the latest months had been rough on her. Loki was presumed dead, Thor had abandoned her and returned to Midgard, she was all alone. She did not show any of it, of course, but he could see the sadness in her eyes, and it pierced his heart like a knife. But he could not tell her that he was alive, for how would she react? She had promised to kill him if he betrayed them again, and taking Odin's place on the throne of Asgard must surely count as betrayal. So there was nothing he could do to ease her pain (of his, for that matter) but to keep her busy, so that her mind would not wander too much. But he could see that it was taking its toll on her, for she had barely slept at all in these last weeks. 

"It's just... I mean..." she faltered. "Can Tivan really be trusted with the Aether?" He knew that that was not the question that was bothering her, but he answered it all the same.

"I trust Tivan to remember the might of Asgard, and what it would do to him if he brought down its wrath upon him. But the Aether had to leave Asgard. With the Tesseract already in our possesion, we already draw enough attention. There are powers out there, Lady Sif, who are desperately searching for it even as we speak."

"Thanos!" she whispered. He knew that she knew about him, but the Allfather did not know that, so he looked at her questioninlgy? "Loki told me, he...." her voice trailed off, and a tear glinstered in her eye. "Excuse me, my liege." she said with a small voice, and she fled the room.

He removed the illusion and sat down, burying his face in his hands. He inhaled sharply for a couple of times. He hated what his life had become. He hated doing this to her. But he had to do it, for there was no one else.

Suddenly, the door bursted open again and Sif stormed in "Excuse me, Allfather, I forgot my..." her voice died in her throat when she looked at him, and her eyes widened in a mixture of confusion, horror and _relief._ Then, she blinked. When she opened her eyes, there was only blinding fury. She snatched her sword from the table, unsheated it and held it at his throat. He had not moved since she entered, nor made any effort to do so now. He just sat there, and looked straight into her eyes.

"You bastard!" she hissed, "you evil, conniving, deceiving, traitorous bastard."

"It's good to see you too, Sif." he said, and he smirked. She slapped him hard in the face, and his smile disappeared."

"I trusted you. I trusted you to do the right thing and you betrayed my trust again. You betrayed Thor's trust in you." Her voice was trembling, and her hand was shaking.The point of her sword pierced his skin and drew blood, but he did not notice.

"Is that so? You thought that, after I helped Thor to save his mortal pet and avenge Frigga, I would go meekly back to my cell to spend the rest of my days in captivity? Did you truly think that?"

"Thor would have convinced the Allfather that you could be trusted. He would have granted you clemency." She knew that it was a lie, and he knew it, but he merely scoffed.

"We thought you dead. Thor told us how you sacrificed yourself to save him. He told us that you died a hero's dead, and how much it pained him that you could never had the proper funeral he deserved. He cried when he told me that he had to leave your body behind on Svartalfheim because he had to stop Malekith. But as always, everything was just a lie. Everything with you is a lie." Angry tears were streaming down her face now.

"If it makes you feel any better, I had every intention to die that day." He opened his shirt and showed her the scar that the sword had made. It was starting to heal, but the scar tissue would always remain. Sif gasped, and without thinking, traced it with her finger. "What Thor saw was no illusion. The sword had pierced me. I could feel that I was dying. Everything went black, but somehow, I did not die. I woke up later and found that my wound was healed."

"How? How is that possible?" she asked, and he shaked his head.

"I don't know. Perhaps it was my seiðr that healed me, or someone with tremendous power healed me. I truly do not know."

She seemed to contemplate that. Then, she looked him in the eyes once more. "Why?"

"Because it was best for everyone, don't you see. Best for me, best for you, best for Thor, best for Asgard. My precense only caused trouble and pain to those closest to me. I hurt you and Thor more than I can ever realize. But you still had hope for me, hope that I could change, become the person I once was. But I doubt that I can do that. Therefore, it was the best for everyone that I would die that day. A so-called honourable death would not wash out my other sins, but I had hoped that the people would remember me with more kindness."

She slapped him again. "You idiot. You have no idea what you put me through. What you put Thor through. He feels extremely guilty about your death, believing it was his fault. The last time I saw him, he was crying. Crying for you. You thing youself clever? I think you are the biggest, stupidest fool in all the Nine Realms. Odin would... Where is Odin?"

"Odinsleep!" he said, and with a gesture of his hand, the wall opened up, revealing another bedchamber. In the middle of the bed was Odin Allfather, fast asleep. "It's not an illusion, you can verify that if you like."

"What happened?"

"After I woke up in Svartalfheim, I noticed that I was all alone. The skiff we had used to travel there, however, was still there. So I used it to go back to Asgard. I disguised myself as a guard and went to Odin, to report my supposed passing."

"Why?"

"To see if he still cared. I had to know. When Thor found me on Midgard, he said that you all mourned me, even Odin. I did not believe him, for he never showed any sign that he cared for me, but Thor was adamant about it. So, I started to doubt, but when I was brought before him in trial, I was certain once more. After Mother died and I was forbidden to attend the funeral, there could be no doubt about it. But still, I wanted to see it with my own eyes.

"What happened?"

"He cried. He broke down and he cried. Apparently, he could not contain it any longer. He was already weakened by Frigga's passing, and the news of my death was too much for him to handle. He was crying, Sif. About everything he had done to make me what I had become. Neglecting me all those years, always putting me behind Thor, not showing his love enough. He seemed truly sorry. He claimed that all of this could have been prevented if he had done more, if he had showed me that he loved me. And I believed him. I believed that he was sorry, I believed that he loved me. And so I dropped my disguise, because I could not stand witness to his grief for a second longer, and when he saw me, he was shocked. He whispered; 'Loki', and fell into the Odinsleep. I moved him to his chambers and put him into bed. Then, I assumed his identity, because with the Dark Elf threat, Asgard needed an Allfather that was strong and immovable. To let the people know that Odin had fallen asleep once more would have been disastrous. Then, Thor returned, and I offered him the throne, but he refused it. He wanted to remain in Midgard. So I released him from his duties, but now there was no one to rule."  


"So you took it out of necessity?" she said incredulously. "You expect me to believe that?"

"Believe what you want, it does not matter." He saw the doubt flicker in her eyes, but he no longer cared. They never believed him anyway. "Let's get back to the matter at hand. I believe you were about to kill me?"

"What?" 

"You know, _betray him and I'll kill you_? Obviously, I have betrayed you once again, so now you must kill me. I'd rather have you do it than Volstagg."

"What in Hels name are you talking about."

"Listen, I will not fight you, just shove that glaive in my throat and be done with it. I will not go back to that cell, and if you try, I will fight you. Or you let me escape. Your choice. It matters not to me."

"I am not going to kill you, but neither am I going to let you escape." she said, and a smirk formed on her face.  


"Sif!" he warned him.

"I am not going to put you back in that cell, you have my word. I know a prison that is far more suited to a Prince. This palace would be suitable, I believe.

"What in Ygddrasil are you talking about, woman?"

"You were right about one thing, at least. With Thor on Midgard and Odin asleep, there is no one else to sit on the throne but you. Also, you have succesfully deceived everyone into thinking you were Odin, and the measures you have taken in these past few months have been wise and good. I might be taking a risk here, but I believe you truly have the best for Asgard in mind. So I will leave you were you are now. But I'll be watching you, very closely." she added.

He could not speak, but even if he could, he doubted that he would find the right words. Not only did she spare him, but she believed him, she believed in him, that he could be a good king, temporary at least. His thoughts were cut short when he found that Sif's face was only removed from his by mere inches, and suddenly, he felt hands at the back of his head, pulling him down, and he felt her lips crash onto his. He was shocked for a moment, but after a few seconds kissed back with all the fervor he could muster. He did not know how long they were standing there, kissing and holding on the each other, but it felt like an eternity. When she drew away, she was panting slighly, but she moved her mouth to the side of his head and bit his earlobe softly.

"Welcome back, Loki!" she whispered, and a shiver went down his spine. Then, she removed herself from his arms and slapped him in the face, hard. "That was for making me believe you were dead." But then, she kissed the red-hot cheeck gently.

She walked away, hips swaying slightly, and before she left the room, she turned towards him once more, and smiled. She had not smiled at him in years, and it filled him with love and a great feeling of accomplishment, knowing that he was the one who put it there. Then, she closed the door behind him.

In all this time, Loki had not moved. He could not move. He could only stare at the door in shock. But then, a smile appeared on his face as well, a true, honest, happy smile. He felt better than he had in years;

_ Perhaps, just perhaps, things will work out for me this time. _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original plan was to end my fic here, but then I thought; "hey, Loki's story is not yet finished. What happens when Odin returns? What about Thanos? How will the relationship between Sif and Loki evolve?" Therefore, I have decide to add post-canon parts, to make my story complete. In these chapters, Sifki will again play an important role (just like in pre-canon) so hurray. Most likely, there will be a few Sif POV chapters, because the story may require it.  
> Hope you enjoyed it so far, leave a comment if you did, and don't forget to give Kudos if you haven't done so already.


	23. The Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No rights to characters, blablabla, you know the drill. Basically, I own SQUAT

He could not do it. Not alone. He just  _couldn't._ He was certain that it would break him, and he needed someone to pick up the pieces. He needed her.

When he asked her, she accepted.

He was standing on a beach, far away from the city. Except for them, there was not a soul awake at this hour. The only sound that could be heard was that of the wind that was playing with his locks. The smell of salt filled his nose, and when a wave smashed itself on the rocks, he could feel salt water spraying him. He could feel a hand on his shoulder, small but strong. She did not speak, but she did not need to; her precense was enough for him.

He was staring at the horizon, and the endless expansion of stars behind it. Only when he looked at the night sky, at all those stars and planets, he felt truly small and insignificant. He used to love watching them as a child, sneaking out of his bedroom to go sit on the roof and simply gaze at the stars. Sometimes, he brought Sif along, and he taught her all the constellations and everything else he knew about them, and she listened intently, like she always did. She was one of the few. He remembered a time when the mere sight of the night sky brought joy to his heart. Now, it brought only sorrow.

Tears started to brim in his eyes, and he did no effort to conceal them, he just let them flow freely, cascading down his cheeks and dropping on the sand below. The hand on his shoulder disappeared, and he was pulled into a hug. He pressed his head against her chest and sobbed softly. She just held him and stroked his hair, holding him firmly against her. He had tried to remain strong, but here, right now, he did not care anymore. He let out one wail, one terrible wail of agony, pain, grief and loss. It pierced the silent night, but nothing answered it.

He gently pulled himself away from her grasp and turned around to face the sea once more. His breathing slowly steadied and the sobbing stopped. His gaze once again locked with the stars, he brought his hands together and felt the seiðr pulsing in his fingertips, and when he pulled them apart, a small, luminescent orb was created. It was green, and probably the most beautiful thing he had ever created. After a few seconds, he released the orb,and it slowly floated towards the heavens. A small star, going up to join his brothers in the sky. Tears streamed over his face again, but this time, he cried silently. Then, he felt her leaning in, resting her head on his shoulder, and he could feel her had slipping into his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Together, they watched the orb becoming smaller and smaller, until it was no longer identifiable between the other stars. 

Then, he used his seiðr, and on the sea appeared the image of a small boat, sailing towards the edge. It went over the edge and dissolved into a thousand brilliant stars. It was truly beautiful to behold. He turned his head towards Sif and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you for coming here with me." he whispered soflty. She did not respond, but she nodded, and he could see that her own eyes were also wet from tears. They just held each other for a while, until Sif gently distangled herself and went towards the horses. Soon, the sun would be rising, and they had to be back in Gladsheim by then.

Turning towards the horizon for the last time, he felt his heart clench. He did not want to leave. But he had to. She would want him to. 

A final single tear made its way down his cheek. "Farewell, mother."

****

"Hogun the Grim" the herald announced.

WIth his big strides, Hogun marched towards the throne and knelt before him, right hand clenched and on his heart "Allfather!" . Loki studied the man with great interest. He had always known that Hogun was the most intelligent and dangerous of the Warriors Three, and he always got an uneasy feeling when Hogun turned those blank eyes at him, eyes devoid of any emotion. It was as if the man could look straight through him, and that thought distressed him. Volstagg and Fandral were easy to delude, but Hogun... Hogun would be another matter. He swallowed and strengthened the hold on his magic.  He rose from the throne.

"Greetings, Hogun. I am glad to welcome you back in Asgard. I trust you and your family are well?"

"Yes, thank you for your concern, my liege." he said, and he bowed his head once more. "My condolences with the loss of your son, my king."

He arched his brow. "Thor is not gone, Hogun. When we need him, he will come. He just chose to remain on Midgard."

"I meant Loki, Allfather. I admit, he and I were not the best of friends, but he  _was_ my friend, and I cared for him. May his spirit find the peace that he could not find in life, and I hope to see him In Valhalla, when it is my time to go."

"Your concern is duly noted, and greatly appreciated." Loki said, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. "Well, I'm sure you must be weary and want to freshen yourself up." he dismissed him, only... Hogun did not move away.

"Is there something else you wish to bring before your king?" he asked Hogun.

"Allfather, I fear something is wrong. After we stopped the Marauders, all was well, but in the few last weeks, we have had a flood of disturbing news; villages slaughtered to the man, no survivors. People go missing every day and never return. The whole countryside is in a panicked frenzy, and the king is at a loss. Whatever it is we are dealing with, we are not equipped to handle it on our own. I fear that perhaps something is preparing to attack us.  Therefore, Allfather, I beseech you in, the name of my people, to help us."

Loki thought long about this. When he made a desicion, he slammed Gungnir's foot on the floor. "Most likely is this just another gang of robbers, murderers and plunderers, just like the Marauders. However, let it not be said that Asgard abandons his allies when they are endangered. Also, as King of the Nine Realms, it is my duty to protect every single subject of mine at the best of my abilities. My Lord Hogun, I give you permission to select a hundred Einherjar to aid you and your people. "

"Thank you, Allfather!" Hogun said and, after getting up and bowing deeply before him, he left the throne room. He signalled his herald to end today's court session. He walked down the stairs towards Sif. 

"My Lady, would you care to accompany me to the Council chambers? I believe we have some matters to discuss." 

"Of course, my king." she said, and they walked out the doors together. He did not have to worry about people starting to think about Odin and Sif, for he had named her a councellor and de facto commander of the armies of Asgard, with Thor being on Midgard and Odin too old to lead armed forces into battle. With the recent increase of military activity in Asgard, long council meetings with the Lady Commander (in absence of a better title) would not be suspicious. And they did discuss war matters, truly.

Well, most of the time, anyway. The fact that the council chamber had a secret passageway to the Roydal Bechamber was a well-guarded secret, and quite useful, too. But now, he had too much on his mind to think about those things. He shut the door behind him, changed back to his normal form, went to the table and conjured a holographic image of the Nine Realms, and he focused it on Vanaheim. He looked at it for a moment, pondering, and then, with a flick of his finger, it started to slowly revolve.

"What do you think?" he asked Sif, never taking his eyes of the image.

"Could be regular bandits, but somehow, I doubt it." She was standing at the other side of the table now, poring over maps displaying army bases and available troops. If this ever got into the wrong hands, it would be catastrophic, so only the King and his Commander were allowed to see them (convenient to keep others out).

"Yes, I thought so too. Two days ago Alfheim and now this. It would be too great a coincidence." he nodded. 

A few days past, a couple Elven dignitaries had approached the throne with similar stories, about slaughtered villagers and missing people. Then, he had thought it to be a remnant of the Marauder gang, and he had sent Fandral and Volstagg along with 50 men to deal with the situation. So far, their mission had been unsuccesfull, and now Hogun came bearing similar news from Vanaheim. The whole situation just stinked.

"I suspect this is a ploy to weaken our own defences." Vanaheim and Alfheim have in itself little to offer, but were invaluable to Asgard, both as auxiliary forces in it's army as well as supplies. Asgard, with all its water and mountains had little farmland of its own, and relied heavily on import from the fertile realm of Vanaheim. Plus, as liege lord, he was forced to send troops if they were under threat or danger. "Sending men to Alfheim and Vanaheim means less men on Asgard itself."

"I should go with Hogun, to assess the situation for myself. We must know what we are dealing with." Her jaw was set once again. They have had this discussion already. He sighed

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Sif." She huffed, but then, a mischieveous smirk appeared on her face for a split second. Then, she began to pout, and she opened her eyes wide, innocent looking, like a puppy, and  _damn_ she was attractive. He had to use every inch of his self-restraint not to jump on her. She pressed her body against him, hands on his chest, looking up towards him with those big, hazel eyes. he almost lost it, but he managed to control himself. He gently pushed her away, and her eyes immediately narrowed in anger . "Sorry Sif, but that's final."

"Why?" she scoffed. "You think I could not handle it? You think I am a frail maiden that needs to be protected and pampered? You should have gone to Sigyn for that. I'll bet  _she_ wouldn't mind..."

"Will you please stop it?" he cut her off, and she glared at him. "You know that it's not because of that. You know I know you are the most fearsome warrior in all the Nine Realms." That calmed her down a bit. Flattery always helped with Sif. "It's just, I... Asgard needs you here. She is not safe, and there is no one that I trust more with her safekeeping then you. You cannot leave, because Asgard needs you."

"Asgard? Or you?" she threw back, but she was smiling now, slowly walking towards him again. "Aaah, it's you. You'll  _miss_ me too hard. You want me to badly." she teased.

"Don't flatter yourself, woman" he retorted, but he was smiling as well, "now that you know my secret, I can't risk you spilling it to everyone else. I'll have to keep my eyes on you for now." He leaned in until his face was only removed from hers by mere inches. He could feel her warm breath on his cheeks, and when he got even closer, it hitched. "Luckily, you are easy on the eye."

Whatever she was going to say next was cut off when he firmly planted his lips on hers, and they lost themselves in a passionate kiss that seemed to go on forever. After that, it was quite a stumble, through the secret passageway, towards the bed. Then, they lost themselves in a tangle of limbs, sheets and sheer passion. When he fell asleep with her in his arms, nuzzled close to him, head resting on his chest and snoring softly, he felt truly at peace. With her, the darkness inside him faded away, until it was tiny black spot in a corner of his mind. But not forgotten. Never forgotten.

***

A few hours later, he woke up. Judging by the lack of light, it was already dark. They had probably missed supper, and he would have to do some explaining on the morrow, excuses about his absence and that of the Lady Sif. He was sure he could talk them out of this situation, he was not called "Silvertongue" for nothing, after all. So for now, he just relished the feel of her naked body pressed against his. She was his.  _His._ He still could not believe it. Instead of bringing him to the dungeons, instead of executing him, she chose to believe him, and gave herself to him willingly, even when she knew what he was underneath. He truly did not deserve her, and the fact that she thought him worthy of being her beloved filled him with such joy. He had always thought himself the unluckiest creature in all of Yggdrasil, but on tis moment , it felt like he was perhaps the most fortunate, 

Suddenly, he realized he was thirsty. So he gently lifted her head and put it on the pillow, then quickly got out of bed and went towards the water jug. After filling the cup with crystal-clear, cool water, he drained it in one slug. He walked towards the balcony and threw open the doors, allowing the cool night air to enter the room. He did not care that he was naked, or that perhaps someone could see him, standing on the balcony. He just felt like doing it, so he did. Asgard by night was still a sight to behold, although nowhere as spectacular as during the day. So he looked up at the stars instead.

_"Mother, I don't know if you can hear me up there, but if you can, I want to say a couple of things to you. One, I'm sorry. For everything. For what I have done to Thor, to Jotunheim, to Midgard, to you. I'm so sorry. Sorry that my last words you got from me were what they were. I know I have not always been the man that you would have wanted me to be, but I promise you now, that I will try to become that man. And lastly, I just wanted to say I love you. I love you with all my heart. I will miss you more than you will ever now, I hope that, wherever you are, you have peace, and that we may see each other again in the afterlife."_

 

Suddenly, he was hit by a wave of Seiðr, and he felt something tugging at his mind. When he tore his gaze away from the stars and looked at the city once more, he could see why. He stormed back into the chamber and ran straight towards the bed, grabbing Sif by the shoulder and shaking her roughly. When she opened her eyes, she was clearly annoyed.

"Loki, you best have a fantastic excuse for waking me like this, because..."

"NO TIME, SIF!" Loki bellowed at her, and she fell silent.

"Asgard is under attack!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this pretty much sets the tone for what is to follow. Nothing more to say, really, except for; "Stay tuned for my next chapter" and "If you like what you read, please let me know, by comments or kudos. Suggestions and reviews are always welcome.


	24. Old friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birthday passed, and no rights to Marvel.  
> Aah well, better luck next year.

"What?" she jumped out of the bed and ran towards the balcony. He wasn't lying. She could hear the clamor of weapons, and she saw flames licking at buildings in the distance. "We have to get down there, we have to help." 

He let his seiðr flow and took on the appearance of the Allfather once more, already fully armed, Gungnir in hand. When Sif went to attach her vambraces, he huffed in annoyance and with a wave of his hand, she was dressed. Time was of the essence. He tossed her her glaive and she fastened it at her belt, and she swung her shield on her back. Then, her nimble fingers gathered all the tresses of her hair and she tied it together in a neat ponytail. She made for the door, but he stopped her.

"Loki, we must..." she tried, but he cut her off

"How do you think the people of Asgard will react if they saw us leaving the King's bedroom?" Realization dawned on her, and they went back through the hidden passageway to the War Room. If anyone would ask questions, they were discussing tactics. 

"What do you think that happened?" she asked him as they made their way towards the stables.

"Whoever it may be, they came to Asgard through a portal. Most likely it opened up in the city itself, for the walls were not breached."

"Do you think it's...  _him?"_ she whispered?

"It could be possible, but he's not the only one who can open portals. I can, for example. Most skilled magic practitioners can. The Jotnar could do it, if they still had the Casket. Asgard has many enemies, my Lady, who would take advantage of the absence of my sons." She looked puzzled at that, but she remembered that he had to be cautious, for who knows who else might be listening?

They reached the stables, and they quickly saddled up; Sif went to take care of her own horse, a large black steed named Falhófnir, while Loki saddled Sleipnir, the Allfather's eight-legged horse. Despite not being the father of the destrier, as those stupid Midgardian stories suggested ( _Why would ANYONE take on the form of a mare, only to mate with a steed and give birth to his offspring. I'm deprived, sure, but not that deprived. That's just... distasteful.)_ he did share some sort of connection with him. The Allfather aside, he was probably the only one that was allowed to ride on Sleipnir. He stroked his head softly, and the horse put its muzzle in his neck and breathed softly. 

"If you two are done 'having a moment', could we please continue with the matter at hand." Sif was already mounted, and was traipsing around impatiently.

He smirked, mounted and went to ride besides her. "That is no way to speak to your king." he scolded her , but she merely raised an eyebrow in response. How could she not have seen that Loki was the Allfather this whole time?

They rode out of the castle gates into the night. Several mounted Einherjar followed him. Despite the late hour, there were a lot of people on the streets, screaming and running in some sort of frenzied panick. He knew he had to do something, otherwise people might get hurt. He turned to adress the captain of the guards. "Escort these people to Gladsheim and make sure that they are safe. Send your men into the city to get the people out of their houses and evacuate them. The palace is big enought and easily defendable. If the situation gets dire, activate the shield barrier. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, my liege." the man nodded and bowed, then turned around to his men. "You heard the King. Move out." Several guards disappeared into the streets, shouting and banging on doors. The rest tried to guide the flow of people towards Gladsheim and prevent them from trampling each other. "Will you be alright, your majesty? I shall summon a few extra guards for protection."

"That won't be necessary, captain. I already have the best protection." he bowed his head slightly at Sif, who bowed in return. The captain looked like he wanted to object, but changed his mind, bowed and rode away. Loki spurred on Sleipnir and ducked into the streets, Sif following him on his heels. Every now and then they would come across some citizens fleeing, and they directed them towards the palace. Loki always asked them from where the attack was coming, and everyone seemed to think it was the market square. _Makes sense; it's big, spacey, empty. The perfect place to open up a large portal._ Not an army, of course, but he did not think that this was a full-scale attack. Whoever it was, they were just  _gauding_ their strenght, most likely, and causing panic among the Asgard citizens.

While they rode through the streets, they saw more and more buildings in flames, but they were all abandoned, and for that he was glad. But suddenly, they heard cries for help. When he turned around, he saw a large square building on the verge of collapsing, flames licking on its walls, the roof starting to cave in. He could hear faint cries from inside.

"The orphanage." Sif gasped, "Loki, we have to help. There are children trapped in there." Loki nodded solemly and spurred his horse towards the building. When they arrived, he saw two figures appearing through the fog. They seemed to be carrying something. He raised Gungnir warily and Sif's hand was resting on the hilt of her glaive. When at last they emerged, Sif almost laughed in relief.

"Fandral. Volstagg. A sight for sore eyes, you are." 

"Allfather, Lady Sif." they bowed, and Fandral spoke up: "We have just arrived from Alfheim with news when we saw the city burning, so we decided to help. There were indeed signs of battle on Alfheim, Your Grace, but when we arrived, the attacks appeared to have come to a halt. They have not attacked since. We left our men there, as a safety measure, but we came to report."

"I think their precense will no longer be required there. Alfheim was not the target, and neither is Vanaheim. Asgard was the target all along. They abused our alliance by trying to split up our forces, weakening us further. But I believe there are more pressing matters at hand. How many people are still in there?"

"Only one, by my calculations. A little girl on the top floor, but we cannot reach it, because the stairs have collapsed.I don't think we will be able to retrieve her." Volstagg said, eyes downcast to hide his shame and sorrow. The giant man loved children, and knowing that there was one in there that he could not reach, that he could not save her was hard.

"No!" he simply said, and he gave Gungnir to Fandral with a quick "hold this for me, will you?", undid the clasps that held his cape up and, ingoring the shocked cries of Fandral and Volstagg, dove into the smoke.

The thickness of the clouds and its foul stench made it difficult for him to breathe, and he knew that if he went any further, he would likely suffocate. He used a spell to improve his breathing, but the amount of energy it costed him was so massive that he felt drained, and he almost fell unconcious on the floor. He knew that if he wanted to go any further, he had to undo all non-necessary spells. The instance they lefted him, he could stand straight again, no longer pressed down by the weight of his own incantacions. He straightened his back and looked around. The building was filled with smoke, but he could see the faint outline of the stairs. He slowly made his way towards it, all the while avoiding falling debris. The ground floor was made out of solid stone, so it was still relatively safe. He had to jump sideways when a large curtain dropped from the ceiling, creating an inferno of flames. He ascended the stairs, jumping over missing steps. The next floor was almost entirely on flames and on the verge of caving in. Abandoning all caution, he ran up the second pair of stairs until he reached a large gap, a very steep drop. He breathed deeply (as much as possible) and jumped. _I'm not going to make it,_ flashed through his mind, but he was able to grasp the broken edge of the splintered wooden beams. Splinters were digging in his hand and he groaned, but he pulled himself up with all his strenght. When he laid on the floor, panting, he could hear the faint cries coming from one of the rooms. He followed the soft sobs, kicked in the door and saw a little girl with beautiful blond hair, sitting on the floor in a corner, knees on her chin, hands covering her eyes, crying. When she heard him approaching, she looked up. Her eyelashes were wet from tears and her face was dirty, but otherwise, she was unharmed. Her eyes were opened wide, in fear, but if that was because of the situation, or because of him, he did not know. He slowly approached her, hands raised, showing her that he held no ill will towards her.

"Hey there little girl. What is your name?"

She continued to look at him, almost warily. "Astrid!" she sniffed.

"A beautiful name for a beautiful girl." he smiled at her, and he could see some of the tension leaving her, "Astrid, I am going to get you out of here, OK? I promise you that you will be safe. Nothing will happen to you, do you understand? I will protect you, I swear it." He extended his hand for her to take. She looked at it for a few seconds, but then she nodded, and put her small hand in his large one. This little girl, this tiny little creature had just put her life in his hands, trusting him to keep it safe. He scooped up the little girl in his arms and walked out of the door. When the smoke hit her face, she began to cough, and he extended his breathing-incantation to her, and she took a few deep breaths. She threw her skinny arms around his neck and held on thight.

The stairs had completely collapsed, so there was no way going back that way. That left only one option open to him; the window. With a flick of his index finger, the window blew open, and the smoke thinned somewhat. Astrid looked at the window, and then back at him, with those big, blue fearfull eyes.

"Astrid, I'm going to need you to close your eyes for a few seconds, OK? Can you do that for me? It will all be over soon."

She nodded and closed her eyes.

"Very good," he said while he walked towards the window, in an attempt to distract her, "you are very brave. Just as brave as the Lady Sif, if not braver.

"I want to become like Lady Sif when I grow up." she confessed, "I want to be a shieldmaiden too!"

"She will be delighted to hear it. I will introduce you sometimes." He had reached the window sill, swung his legs over it and sat down. "Ok, deep breath. 1,2,3.."and he jumped. He mumbled several spells to slow down his descent, so when they hit the ground, it was very smooth and soflty. Astrid still had her eyes closed, and her arms were tied around his neck as thight as a noose.

"You can open you eyes, Astrid, we have made it." he spoke softly.

"Are we their yet?" she asked, and cautiously opened one eye.

"Yes, we are safe. You have been very brave, my Lady. An exemple to all." He put her down on her own feet. She was still a bit wobbly after the descent, but when she regained her balance, she threw her arms around his waste, hugging him as hard as she could.

"Thank you!" she whispered "thank you thank you thank you." she kept repeating, tears in her eyes. He smiled and patted her on the hea, but when she pressed tighter, he put his arms around her tiny frame and held her to him. "It's OK, Lady Astrid, you are safe." He looked up and saw Fandral and Volstagg stairing at him with wide eyes.  _Why are they all staring at me for?_

It was Sif who gave the answer; "Loki, you are...  _you!'_ His eyes travelled down his body, and he saw that he had indeed forgotten to recast the invisibility charm. And considering the fact that most of the Nine Realms still thought that he was dead, his appearance in Asgard where the Allfather had previously been, saving little orphan girls from burning buidlings was certainly confusing.

"Wait," Volstagg said to Sif, "you  _knew_ this? And you did not tell us? You did not tell Thor? You did not tell anybody?"

"I saw no need to!" Sif shrugged, "Odin fell into the Odinsleep again, Thor had left for Midgard, so there was no one to rule Asgard. No one but Loki."

"And you believe him? The Liesmith, God Of Mischief and Mayham, the Trickster Prince. The one Odin sentenced to a lifetime in the dungeons?" At this point, Astrid removed her head from his stomach and turned to glare at Volstagg, and the large man was quite taken aback with the fury that set her big eyes aflame.

"Yes, I trust him. I trust him completely!" Sif said without hesitation, and his heart swelled at her words, just as much as it swelled for Astrid, who was still glaring daggers at poor Volstagg, who really felt cornered at the moment. "He has governed Asgards for a few months now, since Thor's victory over Malekith, and no one had been able to uncover that it was not Odin but Loki on the throne. In these last months, he has proved himself a wise and capable leader, who has Asgard's best interest in mind. I support him fully." She went to stand between Loki and Volstagg, and she raised her chin in defiance.

Than, Fandral, who had stayed out of the discussion for so long, finally spoke up; "Look, Loki, perhaps you have reasons why you did what you did, but what you did was still wrong. I don't know don't know how you have survived and how you managed to gain the throne, and frankly, I don't think I want to know. I'll find it hard to trust you ever again, but Sif trusts you, and that is good enough for me. And thank you for this whole new experience."

"What?" Loki asked, confused.

"Being glad to see you." he extended his arm. "Welcome back, my prince, or should I say, my king."

Loki looked at his hand warily, but grasped it and shaked it nonetheless. "My deepest gratitute, Fandral." 

"Yeah, just, don't take it for granted. As long as Sif believes you, you have my support."

"Mine as well." Volstagg grumbled, and they shook hands as well. By this time, Sif was beaming.

"Ok," she said, "we think a portal has opened on the market square. We can use your help to close it. Let's go." 

"Wait," Fandral said, "what about the girl."

"Well, I won't leave her alone. The rest of the orphanage already departed for the palace?" Volstagg nodded. "Well, we can't send her on her own. Someone has to go with her."

"Or I can stay?" she piped in. "Please, please, please? I'l stay out of the way, I promise." her eyes glimmered with excitement.  _Spirited and fearless, this one._

"Can't spare anyone, my prince." Fandral said, and he winked at the little girl.

"Than it's settled then. Sif, could you come here, please." Sif nodded and came over. "Could you look after her? I will need all my energy and concentration to close the portal, and I will only trust you with her life." She nodded again. "Ok, let me introduce you. Astrid, this is the Lady Sif, shieldmaiden of Asgard. Sif, this is the Lady Astrid, probably the most courageous little girl in all of Ygddrasil. Astrid is a big admirerer of you, and wants to become a shieldmaiden herself when she grows up."

"That's very interesting." SIf said, and she was genuinly interested. She took Astrid hand in hers and they walked away.

****

The closer they got to the market square, the more bodies they found, all of them Aesir. 

"They were overwhelmed," SIf said, voice trilling with surpressed rage, but she still hold on to Astrid protectively. "They had no chance." 

"They will pay for this." Volstagg snarled, and ran through the streets even faster. 

When they reached the market square, it was... empty. Not a soul to see. There were a lot of dead Einherjar, but no enemies or enemy corpses. What there was, however, was a giant portal, a purple-black hole in the night sky. Next to it were two pillars.

"Where is everybody?" Sif asked, and she glanced aroud suspiciously.

"Perhaps they went home?" Volstagg said.

"So much effort to open one of these things, and then flee after a few minutes of battle. Not likely. Most likely they moved on to another part of the city. If we close the portal, we can cut them off. See those two crystals next to the portal? Those are focal points, they keep it stable. They cannot be destroyed by weapons or any other material objects. It is magic, and only magic can stop it. Your task is to keep everyone away from me when I am working, because I have to concentrate. Is that clear?"

They all nodded. Loki turned around, let his seiðr flow and began to weaken the crystals. Moments before the first crystal was destroyed, an stab of pain pierced his brain, and he fell on his knees, not willing to break off the spell, even when another painwave hit him. Still he struggled, still he held on.

But then he could hear a voice, hissing and cruel, as clear as if the speaker was standing next to him.

_"I told you that you could not hide. I told you HE would find you. And HE will finish what he had started._

_You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain._

_LAUFEYSON!"_

 

# 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, now we are getting in the final stage of the story, the finale if you will. Lots of stuff still to follow though, so I don't think we're there yet. Also, my finals are approaching rapidly, so I won't be able to update as quickly as I would like, but rest assured, if I find the time, I will.
> 
>  
> 
> Please leave Comments, Kudos, you know the drill.


	25. Choosing a side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, my finals are rapidly approaching, and it would be unwise to postpone studying in favor of writing, so for the next week, I'll try to update as soon as possible, but it might take some time, so be patient please.
> 
> No rights whatsoever

He had expected it. He had expected him. He had hoped, prayed that it wasn't him, but deep inside, he had known. 

_The Other._

_"Your time is up, Asgardian. The hour of retribution is nigh. You betrayed the Master, and the Master does not take kindly to traitors._ Another sharp pang shot through his mind. He cried out in pain. He needed all his energy to close the portal, so he could not defend his mind properly. In order to close the wormhole , he would have to leave his mind open to all attacks that the Other could throw at him. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and briefly looked up. Sif was standing next to him, her beautiful hazel eyes looking concerned, even a bit frightened. "I'm OK, "he tried to reassure her, but it sounded weak, even to his own ears, and he saw that she would not buy it. 

"Is it...?" 

"His servant, but that's only slightly better. He is Thanos' right hand ma... well, creature, and he's incredibly strong. I may be able to close the portal, but with him on the other side constantly attacking my mind, it will take a while. Sif, whoever entered Asgard is still here, and when I'm using my energy and concentration on shutting it down, I'm as good as defenceless. Keep everyone away from me, and I think I can close it. Can you do that for me?" Sif nodded and went over to the Warriors Two, who were anxiously looking around for any sign of life. Loki turned his head towards the portal again, but in the corner of his eye, he could see another person; Astrid.

"I was wondering if I could help with something. Erica always says I'm good for nothing, but I try. I want to help you." she nodded vehemently, and when he looked into her big green eyes, he saw fear but no trepidation, only a fierce determined look.

"Of course, you are the most important part of my plan." Loki said, and he motioned her down, "I want you to hold my hand and think of me,  that you believe in me. It will give me more strenght." It really did nothing, but just the mere thought that she could be useful made a smile form on her face. Then, he conjured a dagger and gave it to her. Her eyes went huge in amazement and excitement, and it reminded him of another young girl who was just as impressed with his talents as his newest protégé was. "Astrid, if anything comes out of that portal, stab it. Don't look at it, don't think about it, just stab it. Do you think you can do that, Lady Astrid, Shieldmaiden of Asgard. Are you ready for your duty? Ready to defend your king?" It had the desired effect; she nodded as serious as a little girl possibly could, and turned her attention towards the portal, with a grim look on her small face. The sight of it made him smile before he turned his attention back to the crystals. When his mind touched them, the pain reared its ugly head immediately. He grunted in agony, but maintained his connection, pouring every ounce of Seiðr into the blasted stabilizers. The Other attacked at will, sometimes brief and swift, sometimes agonizingly slow.

 _"You cannot win, Asgardian. The Master will obtain what he bargained for, and you, you will suffer. Your worst nighmares made real, your worst fears, forever more. There is no way that you can stop him. He will crush you and this weak, pathetic world with a swat of his finger."_ While the Other was speaking, Loki could almost  _feel_ his long, clawlike fingers dabbing around in his subconcious, picking it apart piece by piece, laying him completely bare. He saw images flash before his eyes, moved by a will other than his own. His mother's face. Odin's piercing blue eye, Thor's face when he had found out that his own brother had betrayed him, the mask he wore when he busted Loki out of his cell, like Loki was dead to him, his brother long gone, replaced by a monster that was wearing his skin. But most of the time, he saw Sif. He saw her smiling at him, laughing wih him, scowling at him when she was angry. He saw her eyes wet with tears, standing on the edge of the shattered Bifrost, staring in the abyss. He saw her visit the clearing in the woods, their special place, at the cliff, and he saw her kneeling at some sort of stone slab, wich he realised, after some scrutinizing, was a small tombstone for him, a shrine, a place where she could come and remember the happier times, before everything happened between them. He saw her looking at him love-filled eyes, wondering how she could have ever been so blind, how  _he_ could have been so blind.

Image after image whirled through his mind, but still he held on. Faintly, as if he was miles away, he could hear the sound of battle raging behind him, and he knew that whatever had invaded Asgard had come to defend the portal. He trusted in the skill of Sif and the Warriors Two to keep them safe, but he did not want to take any risks, so he doubled his efforts. He could feel his energy stream lessening. He could feel his head becoming heavy, his arms and legs failing to do their jobs, he felt his strength leaving him. But finally, after whet seemed like an hour, he managed to shatter the first crystal. Relief flooded him, but briefly, because the Other doubled his assault, and his head felt like it was going to explode. He put his head on his temples and screamed. The mental invasion was like a jagged knife lodged in his brain making a turning and twisting motion. He felt like his brains could be ripped out of his head any second.

Suddenly, his attention was distracted by a small squeeze in his hand. He looked aside and saw Astrid looking at him, her big eyes wide with concern and fear. Inexplicably he felt the urge to protect the little girl, to protect the tiny life that was entrusted in his care. It was a very strange feeling, especially for someone who had killed people, innocent harmless people without qualms and by own volition (well, not exactly, but he still felt guilty about it, that he was not strong enough to fight it). Perhaps it was because he could relate to this little girl quite well; she was an outcast, abandoned, she wanted to be different. And she reminded him of Sif.  _I wonder if Thor feels like this when he is able to help someone. It feels good, being useful and needed. Perhaps he's not such a sentimental fool after all. That makes him merely a fool. Small improvement, I suppose._ He turned his full attention towards the remaining crystal and attacked it with every fiber of his being. No longer finding the situation amusing, the Other quickly grew annoyed, wich flared into anger in a span of seconds.

_"You dare defy me?  You defy HIM, even now?  You will pay for this insolence, worm. Everything you love, everything you ever held dear will be destroyed, and he will make you watch it. He will make you destroy it, and when you did, he will show you exactly what you have done. The body of the woman you love, cold and lifless, lying dead in your arms, knowing that it was you that caused it, knowing you killed her. He will not grant you death's sweet embrace. Oh no, he promised them he would make you suffer. He promised YOU he would make you suffer. In the end, you will be begging for release, completely empty and hollow, and you will know that your debt has been payed. In the blood of those who are foolish enough to care for you."_

_"You are nothing but empty words and threats, you vile creature"_ he shot back,  _"I am not as weak as I once was. I am the slave no longer, no longer the weak prisoner that stumbled on your piles of rubble all those months ago. You cannot hurt me or mine, because I will stop you. This time, it's different. I have something to live for now, something to fight for, and if you threaten that, you might find more than you bartered for."_

 _"Good."_ the Other hissed, and suddenly, his mind was filled with disturbing images once more. Sif lying stiff on the ground, a sword protruding from his stomach. Sif, lying frigid on a frozen forest floor, neck slit. Sif with her throat ripped open, Sif with one of his daggers stuck in her back, Sif burning alive.

 _"Stop it!"_ Loki screamed in his head.

_"Did not like that? I can only guess. But you can still prevent this. Bring us the Tesseract, as you promised all those months ago, and those images don't have to become reality. He will spare her, if you comply. Fail however, and she will suffer. Well, Asgardian, what do you choose?"_

For a moment, he was tempted. Sif would be safe, Asgard would be safe, he would be safe. He loosened his grip on the crystal for a second, before he caught himself.  _Fool,_ he scolded himself,  _you complete and utter fool. For someone who prizes himself on wit, cunning and guile, you are so easily manipulated. You are unworthy of the title God of Lies if you cannot see through this one. You think Thanos will leave Asgard alone if you will bring him the Tesseract? You pathetic idiot. And even if he did, Sif would never look at you again if she found out what you have done. No, we must fight. There is no other option._

_"I will not bring you the Tesseract. _I have chosen my path_ ,  _and it leads away from you and your ilk._  Find yourself another willing slave to do your bidding."_

_"So we shall. There are others, more eager to learn and more willing to serve, that are better suited to the gifts we offer."_

_"They will fall as well. You shall threaten Ygddrasil no more."_

_"We shall see, Laufeyson, we shall see."_

The moment those words echoed through his head, followed by a slow, menacing chuckle, a terrible fury took hold of him. Abandoning all caution, he aborted the stream of seiðr directed at the crystal and turned his full attention towards the Other, fighting fire with fire. Taken by suprise, the Other was unable to shield his mind from the mental assault, and in a few seconds, Loki was surrounded by a collage of bizare images flashing all around him. He saw a planet, rugged but beautiful, inhabited by strange creatures. He could vaguely recognize the Other in them, so he surmised that these were once his people, but they looked not scary at all, quite the contrary in fact. They were quite easy on the eyes. It made him wonder what happened to them. But then, the answer on his question descended from the sky in a huge space ship, even bigger that that of the Dark Elves and the Chitauri mothership combined. It began raining down fire upon the unsuspecting and unprepared inhabitants. Soon, it was all but destroyed. The Other was one of the few survivors, brought before the Mad Titan, before he was shipped of to a dark cell. Then, they came for him. Tortured him, experimented on him, changed him. Soon, his mind was completely warped, whatever was left of his personality was destroyed. They changed his appearance to the one he was wearing now. He was made into Thanos' servant, and when he was ready, they gave him his powers. Then came the final test. He was brought before Thanos, who had a big, evil grin plastered on his purple face, his eyes shining with deadly mirth. Before him were the wife and son of the Other, kneeling and begging for their lives. They recognized the Other, and begged him to help them, but the Other just looked with a terrifying coldness in his eyes. When the order came, he carried it out without hesitation.

Suddenly, he felt like an axe split his skull, and he was violently thrown out of the Other's mind, whose precense was now akin to that of a firestorm. Loki cried out in pain.

 _"You dare... how dare you... You will pay for this, I swear."_ Suddenly, he felt a movement, a change in the magic currents, and then it hit him; the Other was coming to them, for him. Fear gripped his heart; he had used to much energy to try and close the portal, he had little left to face the Other in combat. A few months ago, when he was on the peak of his fysical fitness and when he was wielding the scepter, he would have been stronger than the creature, but now, in this weakend and weary state, he was a sitting duck. He tried to use his magic to keep him back, but to no avail.  _Perhaps I should call for backup,_ he thought, and he turned his head around to find Sif battling with not one, but three enemies. And not the regular kind, but three big, muscled blue foeman.  _Frost Giants? What are they doing here? Did Thanos recruit them to help him? Unexpected and unfortunate. Is it because of their hatred for Asgard, or for their hatred for me? Not that it matters, much._

The sound of the battle was very dull, almost as if he was miles away. What did sound strong, however, was the scream that Astrid had produced. He whipped his head around, dagger in hand, ready to protect the little girl. The girls eyes were wide open with shock. There was blood on her hands and all over her clothes. He wanted her to look at him, so she could talk about it. But her eyes remained fixed upon the familiar (for Loki, at least) form lying on the floor, with a broken knife edge lodged in his right eye socket. Suddenly, the figure stopped moving. He grabbed it by the shoulder, turned him over and looked straight into the face of the monstrous Other. Such a strong being, brought down by a little girl with a knife. He turned his attention towards Astrid again, and as soon as their eyes made contact, she began to weep. "I did not know what to do. You told me to stand guard, so I did. But ... but then a hand appeared from the portal, and I was scared, so I swung the knife straight into the portal, and I managed to hit him in the eye. He cursed a lot, but soon, it stopped. I never meant to do this. I only wanted to help.

"And helping you did, little dove. You just stopped a very bad man from entering Asgard, and your king and country owes you a debt of gratitude." he patted her head reassuringly, still unable to grasp the entire situation; the Other was killed by a girl with a knife who stabs at everything that comes from out of that portal. It was almost too good to be true.  But the body that lied before him was genuine. The Other is dead. This is a major blow for Thanos, he hoped, because the Other was strong, skilled and posessed many powers.  _Hopefully this will shoo him off. Not bloody likely._

When he turned his attention back to the crystal, he managed to destroy it in a couple of seconds, now that the Other was not there anymore to hinder him. Immediately, the portal collapsed upon itself, leaving nothing but scorchmarks behind. He was exhausted, but managed to draw his dagger and turn around and see Sif dispatch the last of her foes. Volstagg and Fandral had also killed their fair share. Fandral, always portraying that carefree personality he is so widely known for, looked positively disshelved; "How in Hels name did they gain etrance to Asgard?"

"Someone from here helped. There is a traitor in Asgard, someone who put up the crystals and said the righ words. He could not do that from so far away without help." Sif said thoughtfully.  _There are others, more eager to learn and more willing to serve, that are better suited to the gifts we offer,_ shot through his head.

"So it's a magician? Never liked their ilk." Fandral quipped, and smirked at Loki.

"Fandral, if you had bothered to look beyond that toothpick you call a sword and that toothpick you call a penis, you would know that it is very simple to set up the crystals and say the right words. It is perfectly possible that Thanos found a way to bestow this on a henchman who then opened the portal for the assault. "Still, Volstagg was frowning at him, and he sighed, "Look, I know you do not trust me, and I can't say that I blame you for that, but trust the Lady Sif. She knows what's right.  She can testify that I have not betrayed Asgard again (she watched me very closely), and I have just fought in it's defence. He offered me the same thing he did earlier, and I turned him down. Asgard is my home, and I don't wish to see it burn."

They nodded reluctantly. Then, Sif spoke up: "If it was not you, who was it?" They could not answer. 

"Well, whoever he is, we have to be carefu..." a shriek from Astrid interrupted him, and he twirled around, his knife burying itself deep into the attacker's throat. WIth a load thud, it fell on the ground. But it was no Frost Giant, nor was it a Chituari. It was big, red, had great black horns and claws, great fangs bared. "Fire Giant!" he whispered. 

"Impossible. They have not been around for ages. They are extinct. They were completely destroyed in the war that Odin fought against Surtur." Sif said, paling.

"That's what they said about the Dark Elves, and look how that turned out. I mean, look at him. IS there any other possibility?" No one answered. They were all too much in shock.

"This is bad." Fandral observed.

"Far worse than I anticipated, yes. It seems both the Frost and Fire giants have joined Thanos. He outnumbers us 6 to 1. If he could open a stable portal, Asgard is lost. Today was just a foray, a scouting party. You can rest assured that some have made it back before we arrived. We must take drastic measures."

"Such as?"

"Well, I can't believe I'm actually about to say this, and you should now that I am only saying this because I am under extreme duress."

"Just tell us already."

"We are going to need Thor."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Let me now in the comments below, or leave kudos.


	26. An unpleasant surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own Marvel Cinematic Universe, and I am not making profit out of this (no material profit, at least)

Fandral sheated his rapier and turned to Loki, "You know, I changed my mind. I think we DO deserve some answers. I mean, you showing up, then this portal. Even if you did not open it, it can hardly be a coincidence! Thor said you were dead, that you were stabbed on Svartalfheim, and that he was forced to leave your body behind because he had to stop Malekith. He SAW you getting stabbed. So how is it that you are not only alive, but here in Asgard as well? And what has happened to the Allfather?" He sounded wary, and Volstagg still firmly gripped his axe.

"Thor was not wrong, I was stabbed on Svartalfheim, and he did saw me die. I thought I was dying, and perhaps I was, but something happened. After a while, I woke up, and all that remained was some dried-up blood om my chest and a big, ugly scar. But I decided it would be easier for everyone to think I was dead. Thor could move on, no longer clinging to the hope that I could once again be the brother I used to be. My mother was dead, and I had slain the foul creature that murdered her. Odin did not care, or so I thought."

Volstagg nodded slowly. "But why did you return to Asgard?"

"I wanted to see it for myself. I could not see it the first time, but I wanted to see it now." When Fandral and Volstagg looked confused, he elaborated; "I wanted to see Odin's reaction when he found out I was dead. So I disguised myself as an Einherjar and brought him the news. His reaction was... not what I had expected. He collapsed. He broke. He even cried. Odin Allfather was crying at my feet. He said that it was all his fault, that he should have loved me more, that he should have been there when I needed him. That he failed me, and that I was dead because of him."

"Then what did you do?" 

"I could not take it anymore, so I revealed myself to him. The shock was so great that he fell into the Odinsleep once more. I moved him to his bed, concealed him, took on his appearence and replaced him on the throne. And then Thor left for Midgard."

"So it was you who sent Thor away. You manipulated him into leaving for Asgard." Fandral eyes narrowed, and his hand moved towards the hilt of his rapier, but before he could touch it, Sif was already upon him, her eyes alight with anger.

"Thor left by his own volition, because he wanted to be with Jane Foster. Loki did not manipulate him in any way, he even offered him the throne. It was his for the taking, and he turned it down. Loki has been ruling because there is no one else who can do it, because he has to. Both of them have grown so much, but you act like they are still children playing. They have matured, contrary to some other people." Fandral hastily backed down, because there was no thing in the Nine Realms that is more frightening than an angry Lady Sif.

"Ok, ok, if you believe him, I believe him." He held up his hands in surrender. "I believe you." he quickly said to Loki when Sif continued to glare. Loki chuckled.

"Sif, how is it that you know this? After everything he did to keep his survival a secret, I hardly think that he would confide in anyone." Volstagg looked at her questioningly.

"I discovered it. I knew there was something wrong with the Allfather's behaviour, but I attributed it to his grief. But then I walked in on Loki in his real form."

"And you did not imprison him? Or warn anyone? Or did something?" 

"Why would I? During his short reign, he has made nothing but good decisions. The people's faith in the Allfather is renewed, and support has never been greater. He has been quite an effective leader. And no one figured out he was NOT the Allfather. I take from this that Loki does not bode ill for Asgard, and that its wellfare is important to him. Therefore, I trusted him and kept his secret." She did not mention that they were in love, because that would not aid her cause at all. But still, Fandral and Volstagg were exchanging glances.

"Perhaps we can finish this discussion at a more convenient time? There is a little lady here that we have to put to bed." Loki already sat on Sleipnir, who had appeared sometime after the fight along with Falhófnir, and Astrid sat between his arms, lying against him, her head pressed against his chest, snoring softly. Loki had to focus to remain seated. Closing the portal had proved to be a daunting task, one that claimed more of his energy than he would have liked. 

"Also, we have a traitor to find."

***

Taking on Odin's appearance once more had robbed Loki of his remaining strength. He carried  Astrid to his bedroom, and laid her gently in the bed. She looked like a tiny angel when she slept, so beautiful and peaceful. He would let her stay here for the night, so when she woke up, she would find a familiar face. Loki sealed the door, not wanting to be disturbed, took on his own form once again, staggered towards his couch to find that he could not fall asleep just yet. 

His mind drifted back to the events of the night. The death of the Other was definitely a good thing, but there was little cause for celebration. It seemed that somehow, Thanos had enticed the Frost Giants and the Fire Giants to aid him. The Frost Giants he was familiar with (unfortunately), and he could understand that they wanted revenge on Asgard and him (Thanos knew of his survival, after all). He knew little about the Fire Giants, but what he did know was enough to be worried. He knew that long ago, long before even the Great War, but after the war with the Dark Elves, Asgard and its newly crowned king, Odin Borson fought a bloody war against the Fire Giants of Muspelheim. Their king, Surtur was one of the most ancient beings in all of Yggdrasil, and certaily one of the most powerful. Even Laufey was nothing compared to Surtur. After years of battle that almost caused the destruction of Asgard and all of Yggdrasil, Odin finally faced Surtur in single combat and managed to best him. With great effort, he managed to slay the Fire Demon, and his followers were all cut down as well. Or so the stories tell. But apparently, some of them survived. And they would be all too willing to aid in Asgard's destruction. The odds were not in his favor, it would seem. But there was no way he was going to let him win, at least not without a fight. But to fight, he would need allies. Asgard would need allies. And he knew just how to find them.

The next morning, Astrid woke up in the softest and largest bed she had ever seen or slept in. It was huge, but the size of the room completely dwarfed it. It was enormous, richly decorated, luxurious and beautiful.  She was in the palace, no doubt. She had seen it from afar, marvelling at the majesty and grandeur that was Gladsheim, but she had never been inside it. It wasn't uncommon that the children who lived at the orphanage would later go and work in the palace as a servant, but, as Erica often said, she wasn't very good at doing chores.

She climbed out of the bed and moved towards the door, but she found it was locked. Only then she heard soft snoring. The tall man with the pale skin and the beautiful black hair was sleeping on a couch. So she was in his room then, probably. She knew that this must be Prince Loki, the disgraced, traitorous second son of Odin. A lot of stories were told about him, about how cruel he was, how mean, evil incarnate. _They are lying. They are jealous and evil._ Prince Loki was kind, brave and strong, and he had saved her. _He is very sweet,_ she decided, and she walked over and gave him a big, wet kiss on his cheek. His eyes flew open and he was so startled, he fell of the couch. She laughed so hard her sides hurt.

"You're funny." she said, as Loki scrambled to his feet with the most dignified expression he could muster.

"Yes, well, don't do that again. You can't know how I would have reacted." he tried to sound stern, but amusement laced his voice, and his eyes twinkled with mirth. It has been a long time since someone had so thoroughly startled him, he found it hard to keep a grin of his face. She giggled. 

"Ok, Astrid, how about I summon some breakfast? After we have eaten, I will help you find your friends. The orphanage will have to be rebuilt, but for the time, you can remain in the palace. I'm sure they will be glad to see you again."

"No, they won't, they all hate me. And I hate them." her little face was scrunched in a frown, and it was simply adorable.

"What do you mean? Surely they will be worried sick? They..." he was cut off when Astrid threw her arms around his waste and started crying uncontrollably. "Don't make me go back." she sobbed. "I hate it there. Everyone is mean to me. They say I'm good for nothing, a waste of space. I want to stay with you. Please let me stay." His heart broke when he saw her so sad. He was torn. On one hand, he ought to send her back to her caretakers, and there was simply no way that he would sleep on the couch for the rest of his days. On the other hand, he had become strangely attached to the little girl, and was loath to send her back to a place where she was obviously not happy. And what harm could it do?

"Ok, ok, just remain calm, please. I'm not sending you back, okay? You can stay here?" She wiped her tears away with her sleeve, and a big grin appeared on her face, and then she hugged him all the tighter. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the best! You are the sweetest person in the whole world."

 He got on his knees and looked her in the eyes."But, we have to lay down some ground rules. One, I am not going to sleep on the couch for the rest of my life, so you will be sleeping in my old room. You will find everything to your liking, I'm sure of it. My old chambers are the first door on the right when you leave the door. Two, you will attend daily classes, so you may learn how to read, write and all the other necessary educational skills. When you are older, you may join the training sessions, if you would still want it. Three, you can get yourself in any kind of mischief you want, as long as you can get yourself out of it. Do I make myself clear?" She nodded, her face serious, but her eyes shining with barely concealed excitement.

"I will send word to the caretakers at the orphanage that you are now under the king's protection, and that they won't have to concern themselves with you any longer. Also, I must ask you something." He took on Odin's appearance, and Astrid's mouth fell open in awe. "You are one of the few people who know that I am alive, and that I am currently taking the place of the Allfather. As long as he is asleep, I will have to rule Asgard in his stead. But many people won't be happy to see me, so I have to ask you to call me Allfather in public, and it is important that you don't tell anyone that I am not the Allfather. It will be our little secret. Can you do that for me, Astrid? Can you keep my secret?"

"I will, I promise." she said solemnly, and he smiled at her and patted her on the head.  

"Ok, I have to go now. I will sent some servants to you to help you get installed. If there is anything you need, send them to me." He wanted to stand up, but once again Astrid hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you." she whispered, a tear making its way down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb, gently untangled himself and walked out the door, once again wearing Odin's face.

***

"And I assure you, the Crown will reimburse you for your losses. This counts for all of you. My steward will make an inventory of all things lost in the fire, and you will get your property's worth. That will be all." He dismissed the blacksmith, and all other petitioners. "The king will receive no more petitioners today. Thank you for coming." his herald announced, and the throne room was cleared. He nodded towards Sif, Fandral and Volstagg, and they fell in with him. They entered the War Room and Loki sealed the door behind them, casting incantations to prevent eavesdropping. 

"So, do you have any idea who this traitor might be?" Fandral asked him while he was idly twirling his moustache.

"Whoever he is, he must be getting something out of it. The court is filled with people that might be considered traitors, who would do much for a bit of power, but I believe that none of them would risk Asgard itself for it. Even the greatest fool realizes that you cannot trust a deal with a diabolical evil warlord. No, I think we must search in the direction of Asgard's enemies, who is probably an Æsir himself. Someone with cause to hate Asgard. Someone powerful and desperate enough to strike a bargain with Thanos."

"Someone like you." Fandral said, but he fell silent when 3 pair of angry eyes fell on him.

"Now is not the time for joking, Fandral." Volstagg said, "this is important."

Sif seemed to be deep in thought, when suddenly, her eyes widened in realization. "Do you remember the mass prison break that occured during Malekith's attack on Asgard? We rounded up most of the escaped prisoners, but some are still unaccounted for. Wait, I think there is a list lying around here somewhere." She began digging in the pile of documents that were strewn all over the large table. Suddenly, she picked up a list, studied it and gave it to Loki. "Here, look at this."

He thorougly scanned the list, but he saw nothing of importance. Most of them were just marauders that got away. Until he saw the last name on the list. He nearly chocked.  _Not good. Not good at all._

On the last line, in neat, black script, was written one name.

Lorelei of Asgard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of my finals, I will not be able to update as regularly as I would like, but rest assured, if I have some free time, this will be the first thing to do. I really hope you have been enjoying this story so far.  
> Also, I haven't watched Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D season 1 episode 15 "Yes men" but I have read a short review, so I hope I'll be able to correctly implement the elements in my story. I will NOT be including the events themselves in my story, as it is a Loki story, but I will talk about what happened in the episode.   
> If you like my story, give kudos or leave a comment.   
> And by the way, thanks for all the love I have been receiving from everyone who gave kudos or left a comment. Your support really keeps me going and makes me want to finish the story.
> 
> Thank you all and see you soon, hopefully


	27. What is dead may never die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All rights to these characters belong to Marvel, not me. Also the title is a Game of Thrones reference, so it belongs to George R.R. Martin and HBO, not me.

"I knew it." Sif hissed. "I knew this bitch was behind this. I could feel it in my bones."

"Calm down, Sif, we can do naught but suspect at the moment. We have as of yet no evidence." Loki countered.

"She attempted to conquer the Nine Realms. She was imprisoned for life by Odin. She hates us AND she has escaped. How much proof do you need?"

"More than that. Your hatred for her is well known, Sif, but we'll have to question her first. But I admit, it does seem very likely."

Sif huffed in indignation, and he could swear she was almost pouting. It was a most endearing sight, and he felt the corners of his mouth curling upwards at the sight. He knew of the bitter hatred that existed between the Shieldmaiden of Asgard and the youngest Enchantress. But the version he knew to be true was quite a different one than the one the Lady Sif had always told. In that version, the Lady Sif was involved with a young soldier named Haldorr. Lorelei had seduced, nay  _enthralled_ him, for she possessed great skill in the manipulation of men. In one of her conquests, Haldorr would have died, ensuring Sif's eternal hatred for the woman. This was the official version. The true story was quite different.

There was no young soldier named Haldorr, there was only Loki. When Lorelei's older sister, Amora, had decided that she would marry Thor and be Queen of Asgard, Lorelei herself had decided that she would marry Loki. She began to stalk him like a predator stalking his prey. She "accidentally" bumped into him as frequent as possible. Everytime he passed by, she would call for his aid with some matters, and "accidentally" touched him as much as she could. She used her whole arsenal of seduction skills to gain this prize. And that put her at odds with the Lady Sif, with whom Loki had a tryst for many years.  _Before she cheated on me with Thor._ He would lie if he said that it did not still hurt him a bit. Lorelei, of course, was aware of their tryst, wich made seducing Loki all the more fun. She did not mention it to anyone else, though, for then she would never gain Loki's love. At long last, Sif could not take the constant bickering and fight for Loki's attention anymore, and she had hit Lorelei with her fist. When Lorelei sought out Loki, he merely gave her an apologetic shrug (it took all the strenght he could muster not to laugh at her indignant face). She was fuming, her head as red as her hair, and she stormed away. That was the last time he had seen her. Next he heard of her, she had tried to conquer Alfheim, but the combined forces of the Light Elves and the army of Asgard had been able to defeat her thrall forces. She was brought before the Allfather in chains, much like him, and was cast into the dungeons, to be forgotten. That was such a long time ago, he had forgotten about it completely when he himself was thrown in his cell. He knew vaguely that her cell was somewhere in the back,  so he had not been able to see her. When the attack happened, the Kursed must have released her, and she escaped in the ensuing chaos. He had not seen her, but she had seen him. Willing to do anything to get revenge on him, Sif and Asgard and skilled in the arts of Seiðr, she was the perfect ally for Thanos.

"I want to be the one to go after her. I want to be the one who brings her down. You will let me find her, or by Odin's beard, I..." She was cut off by Loki's exasperated sigh.

"And where are you going to look, pray tell me?" Sif fell silent, and now she was definitely pouting. "Even if it is her, and I say EVEN, there is no guarantee that she is still in Asgard."

"How?" Volstagg asked, "the Bifrost has not been active for days."

_Sweet Yggdrasil, I am surrounded by morons._

"When Thor explained his escape plan for him and Jane to you, were you even listening, or merely stuffing yourself?" Volstagg's mouth opened in protest at these cruel words, but they died in his mouth when Loki's eyes held his gaze in an unflinching cold look. "There are other passageways between the realms, not as quick or as safe as the Bifrost, but more secretive and infinitely useful, if you know how to find them. You can be sure that Lorelei, clever and conniving as she is, has at least knowledge of a few of them."

"But how can we find her, then?" Fandral asked.

"By searching, of course. I think it is time we paid a visit to an old friend."

****

Loki took on Odin's appearance once more, and they left the War Room. He gave Fandral and Volstagg the list of escapees still at large and ordered them to spread wanted posters all around Asgard, with focus on the Lady Lorelei. He and Sif went to visit the remote and secluded wing of the palace called the Mages Quarters. In his youth, he had spend a considerable amount of time here, eager to learn as much as he could from the older mages. It was also a short distance from the library, and it housed many practice areas for him to use his spells. He rather liked the quiet of this secluded area, in stark contrast with the beehive that Gladsheim itself often was. He knew his way around here, walked straight towards a large black oaken door with intricate carvings of mystical beasts and knocked on the door. After a few seconds, the door opened, and he and Sif stepped inside. The room was dimly lit, but he could make out a figure sitting at a large table, pondering over an ancient tome. Suddenly, a pair of stunning green eyes were fixed on him, luminescent in the dark. Suddenly, the fire in the hearth was roaring and the room was bathed in light. The green eyes that held such an enchanting power were set in the most beautiful face imaginable. A perfectly crafted nose. A pair of lips wrought by the Eternals themselves. Platinum blond hair cascading past her shoulders to her waist. A magnificent slim body, easily the most stunning form he had ever seen. Suddenly, her lips parted in a warm smile, revealing two rows of perfectly white teeth. "Allfather." she spoke, and her voice was warm, rich and inviting, sweet like a peach in the summertime, "to what do I owe this pleasure?" He found he could not reply, but was simply staring at her.

Suddenly, he could feel a hard poke in his side, and he managed to tore his eyes away from the woman and he looked at Sif, who was stairing at him with her eyebrows raised, giving him a cool, calculated look. And suddenly, he snapped out of his enchantment. He silently cursed himself. She was not called the Enchantress for naught. She had an uncanny power over men, and she was not afraid to use that power. He turned his gaze towards the woman once more, now steeling himself against her influence.

"A good day to you as well, Lady Amora. How do you fare these days?"

"Well enough." she replied with a smile, and turned towards Sif, "Hello, my good Lady Sif. It has been too long, hasn't it?"

"Indeed." Sif answered, and she managed to conjure a smile on her face as she looked at the other woman.

"I am pleased to hear it." She fixed her eyes upon Loki once more. "Pardon my forwardness, my liege, but is there any news from Thor?" she asked hopefully.

"Still happily on Midgard with Jane." he replied in the gruff tone he assumed Odin would take if he had to discuss Thor's relationship with "that mortal" Amora looked slightly crestfallen for a moment, but then her wide beaming smile returned. "May he be safe and happy." she said, but with a little less enthusiasm. 

"Lady Amora, we need your help." Sif spoke up.

Amora turned her green eyes towards her once more. "Of course, I live to serve Asgard. Tell me, how can I be of assistance?"

"We want to know if you have any information regarding your sister." Loki said.

"Lorelei?" she looked confused, "I thought she was imprisoned in the dungeons? Those cells were designed to prevent any escape!"

"Well, as you might have heard, we recently had a mass breakout when Malekith and his Dark Elven scum attacked us. He had planted a Kursed in these walls, who broke out, freed all the prisoners except one and destroyed our defence mechanism. During the riots, your sister must have escaped. We have strong suspicions she has allied herself with enemies of Asgard and will soon launch an attack that might threaten Yggdrasil itself. So, you understand, it is paramount that we find her and take her into custody."

Amora though for a minute, but then shaked her head, a sad smile on her lips. " I'm afraid that I can't help you with this. I have not seen my sister since her punishment, and she has not come to see me. I am truly sorry, but I promise that I will keep an eye out for her, and if I hear even a whisper about her location, I shall inform you immediately."

"That's all we can ask of you, fair Lady." Loki said, and he bowed and left the room, followed closely by Sif. When they were out of earshot, she rounded on him.

"Do you believe her?" she asked.

"I don't know. I have a feeling that she knows more then she wants to say, but I also know that there is no way we can force the truth out of her. I will keep a watch on her for sure, but that's all we can do for the moment."

They halted, and Sif was leaning against a pillar. "So? What's our next move?"

"Something I would have rather avoided." he sighed.

***

He had barely visited Heimdall since his return to Asgard and his consequent replacement as its king. Even before everything that had happened, he was never on friendly terms with the Gatekeeper like Thor had been, but they were on speaking terms. But then occurred their disastrous trip to Jotunheim, and not two days later, the Gatekeeper had betrayed him, the then righfull king of Asgard in favor of Thor, and Loki had frozen him solid. But he had managed to free himself, he had opened the Bifrost for Thor and his friends and so caused his downfall. Then again, if he was honest, Loki had brought about his own downfall, with his childish and insane attempt to destroy Jotunheim just to make him feel better about himself. He could see that now, he admitted it.

When Thor brought him back, Loki and Heimdall had not exchanged one word, they had barely looked at one another. But now that he was King, he had to listen to his reports sometimes, and he always felt ill at ease. He had a feeling that the Gatekeeper could look straight through him, that somehow he  _knew_ that he was not the Allfather. He had to be extra careful not to let his control slip even once, in fear that his precense would be picked up by him. He knew that his head would be on the execution block faster than an arrow could fly. So he mostly stayed away from the stoic Gatekeeper, and so far, so good.

When they walked into the Observatory, unaccompanied, Heimdall stood upon his little stage, staring into the vastness of the universe. Without turning around, he greeted them.

"Sister. Prince Loki."

His heart stopped.  _How...? Who...? What...?_ "Excuse me?" he said in the best Odin imitation he could muster.

"You can drop the act, my prince, you are not fooling me." He slowly turned around, and chuckled. It was the first time he had heard the Gatekeeper laugh. It was a low, rumbling noise, like boulders rolling of a mountain. 

"But.. but... how is this possible?"

He could see a faint smirk on Heimdall's lips. "I have known the Allfather for many millennia. You could say I have become accustomed to his precense. You may be able to shield your own precense from me, young magician, but to imitate him and fool me is another matter entirely. Each creature's being is unique, and cannot be fully replicated by someone else. I have known you were the Allfather from the moment you donned his face."

"But why didn't you called the guards on me? Why didn't you have me arrested? Why didn't you have me killed?" he said incredulously.

"Are you saying that I need to?" the mirth that laced his voice a few seconds earlier was gone, and he was dead serious.

"No." Sif quickly responded before he could even open his mouth. "He has done nothing wrong."

"I have done plenty wrong." Loki cut her off. "I tried to destroy an entire realm. I tried to enslave another. I have tried to kill my brother. I would say that there are reasons enough to lock me up or even execute me." He still could not believe it.

"And we know you feel remorse for that. We know that you think you deserve to be punished. And perhaps you shall, one day. But not today. Today Asgard needs you." Heimdall retorted.

"The last time I was king of Asgard, you were no so compliant. Even though I was more in my right then than I am now."

"Back then, you were a danger to Asgard and to yourself. I had to stop you from doing things you would regret for the rest of your life. You had descended into madness when your heritage was revealed, and you had to be stopped. Things are different now. You don't want to harm Asgard. You did not want to take the throne, you took it because there was no other option. I have sworn my life to protect Asgard and its people from any possible enemy, and you are not my enemy. Not now, at least. I believe that you want what is best for Asgard, and therefore, your secret is safe with me."

Again, he found his silver tongue turning to lead in the presence of the Gatekeeper, so he merely bowed his head and mumbled his thanks. Heimdall, amused once more, turned away from him to look at the stars again. "Now, I believe you had a reason to visit me? Tell me, what is it you need to know?"

"We need to discover the whereabouts of the Lady Lorelei. She escaped her cell during the riots and is of yet still unaccounted for. We think she might be connected to the recent attack on Asgard."

Heimdall hummed, and for a long time looked into the vastness of space, not saying anything. The silence stretched on and became almost unbearable. He looked at Sif, and she was looking just as confused.  _Perhaps we should go, or soon, we'll be standing here all night._ But as they turned to leave, Heimdall's voice broke the silence spell.

"Midgard. She's on Midgard."

 _Midgard? What on Earth is she doing there?_   _Is Thanos planning to attack Midgard again?_ "What is she up to?"

"I took me a while to break through her concealment spells, but I succeeded. She is currently in the company of a man called Rooster, head of a group called the Dogs of Hell. They do her bidding, now. It seems that another operation called S.H.I.E.L.D has taken an interest in her activities and is currenlty trying to track her down. This other team is lead by a mortal called Phil Coulson."

"That's impossible." Loki said, "Coulson is dead. I... I killed him." he said, and he bowed his head, ashamed. Then, he felt a small hand in his one, and it squeezed gently. _  
_

"It was not your doing. It was Thanos, not you, and don't you forget it." he managed to smile weakly at her, and she smiled in return.

"The Son of Coul still lives. But you were right. You did kill him." Heimdall said.

 _How is that possible?_ "Sif, I will grant you your wish. You will go to Midgard, find Lorelei, stop her from doing whatever she plans to do and bring her back so we can question her. Also, I want you to try and find out how Coulson managed to survive, or shoud I say, revive. You are the only one I trust with a task this important. Do you accept it?"

"Gladly." she said, smirking mischievously. "Change back to your normal form, please."

"Why?"

"Well, I don't much fancy kissing your father, now do I?"

"Oh..., very well." he sighed, changed back to his normal form, and she grabbed his collar, yanked him down to her level and kissed him passionately. He tried to enjoy it as much as possible, and he tried not to think about her brother standing next to them, looking at them, but when they finally broke away, both panting, Heimdall's gaze was fixed upon the stars once more. His stance was a bit more rigid than usually, though.

"Oh yes," Sif said, drawing his attention back to her, "can I visit Thor while I am on Midgard."

"I am not going to stop you, Odin knows I could not if I tried, but I would advice not to. I'm sure we'll be seeing Thor pretty soon."

She nodded, and then the activated Bifrost took her from his sight. Donning the Allfather's appearance once more, he walked back towards the city.

A single image kept returning in his head: Agent Coulson with the scepter lodged in his back, dying, and a single phrase was repeated: " _The Son of Coul still lives."_

_Interesting. Very interesting._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued support, that really keeps me going with this story. I noticed I almost reached a hundred kudos, wich is WAY more than I ever thought I would get, so thank you for that as well, and for all the nice comments. I hope I'll be able to update soon, but I promise nothing, except that I WILL finish this story. There is a lot that still has to happen, but I have finished the story in my mind, so if I don't update soon, it's because I have little time, not a lack of inspiration.


	28. Girl fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rights, Marvel, Disney, not me, no money, bla bla bla.

Loki had to refrain himself from visiting Heimdall too often. He was acting king, after all. He had a realm to govern, a realm on the brink of war. It would not do if he forsook his duty because he was worried about Sif. Plus, if she knew, she would, as Midgardians said, "kick his ass" for neglecting his duties and for not having faith in her. But he was worried. Lorelei was a dangerous opponent, very deadly, and Sif's hatred for her could make her careless and blindsighted. Perhaps it was not the best idea to send her. But, then again, she would not have taken no for an answer. 

The days came and went, and Loki found himself more worried with each passing day. He was annoyed quickly, and had little patience for anyone. He practicly barked at petitioners when they came forward with their petty squabbles and complaints. Like he had nothing better to do then to listen to their whining. Passing judgement became increasingly difficult because he wanted nothing more than to throw them into the dungeons for a night to see if they still had complaints afterward. When the court session was finally done, and he had held all the necessary counsel meetings, he ate a small supper and then he could finally go to the Observatory. It was something Odin had done as well, especially in trying times, to consult his loyal and all-seeing gatekeeper. After all, there is only so much that two ravens can tell you. He would ask Heimdall about Sif, he would answer and they spend the rest of the time in silence, watching the stars. Those were the only moments he could truly calm down, gazing at the vastness of space, the presence of the Gatekeeper noticable but not disconcerting. With so many grievances between them, things were a little akward, but not so that it became unbearable. Any word he might have said seemed wrong, so he remained silent, and, to his astonishment, he felt relatively at ease. But the worry for Sif never fully left his mind. It kept nagging him, in a small corner of his brain.

After what seemed like a month, but turned out to be five days, Loki was exhausted. He had slept uneasily that night, as he often did lately. The images that the Other had shown him right before his death, espacially the ones concerning Sif, were etched into his mind and haunted him each night since she left. He yelled at everything and everyone, often without cause. It seemed that the only one who could calm his troubled spirit was little Astrid, her childlike innocence a balm to his tormented mind. She had adapted to palace life as easily as changing a gown. She was already the favorite of the entire palace, and everyone doted on her. She had made fast friends with all of the servants and cooks, and her classes were going splendidly. Already she was deemed "very talented", and when she told him, he smiled genuinely for the first time since Sif left for Midgard. Although she already had many friends and a personal governess whom she liked very much, she still came to him if she learned something new of if she found something. She also came to him if she needed a place to hide when a few of the guard were after her after she released a bilgesnipe cub in the kitchens. She would not tell him where she found it, or how she managed to smuggle it into the kitchen, and although he reprimanded her for it, as he ought to do, his eyes betrayed his amusement, and when he was finished, they were both grinning mischieviously at one another. It reminded him how Frigga used to look at him when he caused trouble, that subtle mix of exasperation, admiration and affection. All in all, he saw little of the girl, but he treasured their moments together, her overabundant enthousiasm never failing to pull him out of his brooding mood.

But still, his dreams kept him awake at night. He often woke screaming, panting and sweating heavily. Luckily he had cast a muffling spell on the door and the walls, so no one could hear him. He wanted nothing more than to go down to Midgard himself to capture Lorelei himself and to keep her safe, but his head won over his heart every time. He had to have faith in Sif, and the time to go back to Midgard had not yet arrived. So he refreshed himself, drank a few cups of wine and tried to get some sleep, difficult as it might be.

The next morning, he got out of bed early. It was the seventh day since Sif had departed, and he decided that if she had not returned in three days time, he would go down there himself, planning be damned. He broke his fast together with Astrid, who regaled him with stories about the kitten she had found in the kitchens and had adopted. She had called him Fenrir, a name Loki thought was better suited for a wolf, but after he saw the little monstrosity, he decided it was an apt name. A small, unruly, wild little thing, it immediately snatched away his bacon and every time he tried to pet it, he began to hiss and bared his teeth. Not only to him, but to everyone that tried to touch him except for Astrid.

After the breakfast, he held a council meeting in his private audience chambers. A Vanir emissary had come to ask for more support troops, as loose groups of bandits still roamed the countryside. Loki heeded his request, despite protests from his advisors. Asgard was dependant on Vanaheim and its rich fields for food production to feed its cities and armies, and, Loki surmised, they would have need of their loyalty and support in the days to come. If the Nine Realms held any hope of survival, they would have to stand together.

After the councillors were dismissed, he took a light lunch (he could not stomach anything else) and went to the throne room to receive the daily petitioners. Fortunately, there were only a few, so he could finish up real fast and then lie down for a few hours, perhaps, get some rest, and then visit Heimdall for their nightly vigil.

Just when he dismissed the last petitioner, the doors of the throne room flew open. Forward strode the Lady Sif, with behind her, Lorelei in chains, some sort of contraption over her mouth, as to prevent her to speak. Loki had to not only stifle the sigh of relief that almost escaped his lips at the sight of her, but also the urge to stand up, walk towards her, sweep her in his arms and kiss her before the entire court. But he was posing as Odin now. The courtiers might find it strange. But Sif looked more beautiful than he had ever seen, practically glowing, basking in her victory over her hated enemy. Lorelei, on the other hand, made a small, timid impression, but he knew her enough to know that it was faked, to envoke compassion. One look in her eyes told him that she might have been defeated, but not truly. Lorelei was a master of deceit, her talents rivaling his own. 

"Lady Sif," he boomed with Odin's voice when Sif halted before the throne and bowed deeply before him, "you are a welcome sight for a weary eye. And I see you brought a guest." he looked at Lorelei, who glared back defiantly, "guards, take the Lady Lorelei back to her old cell. You'll find that everything is exactly as you left it." Her eyes narrowed to slits and she shot a last, venomous look at him before she was escorted out of the throne room. He turned back towards Sif, who was looking at Lorelei, a pleased smirk gracing her features. "Lady Sif, once again you have proven to be invaluable to Asgard. Name your reward, and if it's in my power, I shall grant it to you."

"Thank you, Allfather, but what my heart truly desired most, I fear you cannot give me." the whole court sighed, thinking she was talking about Thor, who had abandoned her for a mortal, but Loki knew what she meant. He did not doubt her love for him, not anymore, but all the secret-keeping just did not suit the lady Sif. She wanted nothing more than to tell people about their relationship, tell her friends about her happiness, but she could no more reveal their love than she could reveal the fact that he was alive, at least not at the moment. "But I would like to attend the interrogations of the Lady Lorelei. I want to hear what she has tosay, and given the uncanny power she holds over men, a woman's precense might be useful."

"Consider your request fulfilled. I expect to hear the full report of your mission."

"Of course, my liege." she bowed again and followed him when he led her to his private audience chamber. He locked the door after her, threw a few quick spell to ward of eavesdroppers, and managed to barely change back into himself before Sif pounced on him. She pressed herself flush against him, her lips hungrily searching for his, their tongues battling for dominance. She grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and pulled him with her until the table pressed against her back. After what seemed like an hour, he reluctantly broke off the kiss to breathe, wich quickly turned into groaning as Sif started planting small kisses along his jawline and licking his neck languidly. His hands quicky dropped towards her firm ass, and he tilted her up and dumped her on the table.

"Stars and branches, I have missed you." he moaned when Sif pulled down her breeches and revealed her tiny undergarments. He lost his patience, and simply ripped it off.

"Perhaps I should leave more often, if this is how you react." she teased as she opened her legs. She stroked her wet folds sensually with a finger and put it in his mouth. He began to suck greedily. He undid his own breeches then, losing no time and pushing straight in. It felt so good to be with her again, so right. And he could see that she had missed him as well.

After a good long while, he spilled himself inside her, but not before he had made her come several times. Totally spent, he had to sit down on one of the chairs. He just made love to Sif in the council room, on the very table he had occupied not mere hours ago in the company of men that would die rather than sit at this table again if they knew. Sif was panting as well, and it was a lovely sound, a sound that filled him with pride that of all the men she could have, she had chosen him to bring her this satisfaction.

Eventually, he put on his clothes again, and Sif once again donned her armor. He gestured her to take a seat.

"You were gone a long time." he observed, for it was an observation, not an accusation.

"Well, Lorelei is a snake, true enough. Very difficult to grasp, and a venomous pair of fangs to bite if caught. The enthralled mortals were not very helpful either."

"During your time on Midgard, did she do anything that might confirm that she is aiding Thanos? Nothing that jumps to mind?"

"No, not really. Her plan was to conquer Midgard, but it was a plan doomed to fail. She stood even less chance than you." He winced, but he knew she did not say that to hurt him, she was just telling the truth. " The warriors of S.H.I.E.L.D had reported no portals, but of course, they might have been withholding information. I did not find any portal stones after I apprehended her, nor any means she could have used to contact Thanos."

"Well, that does not mean that she has nothing to do with it. She could have hidden them, or even worse, perhaps they are already in place. We cannot wait any longer. Time is of the essence. If Thanos comes for us, and he will, I'd rather have one large force to deal with then several small ones. If he invades multiple realms at the same time, we would have to divide our forces, because the weakest realms won't be able to take a stand against such a powerful foe. If we act fast, by flushing out his spy, for example, we can force him to face us in a large battle. If we have our allies at our side, we might stand a chance. I cannot postpone it any longer."

"What are you talking about?" she queried, face confused.

"If we want to stand a chance against Thanos, we are going to need every man we can get. We will need Thor. We will need the Avengers. We will need Midgard."

*****

When they reached the dungeons, he dismissed the guards. The Lady Sif and he would question the prisoner in private, and would let them know when they were done. The guards bowed and retreated. He caught Sif looking at him. He nodded and they moved towards her cell. The dungeons had been repaired after the escape, looking just like before. Only, he was on the other side of the barrier now, in a different position. He looked at his own cell, the cell he would still be rotting in if not for Thor. He could almost see himself in there, lying on the floor. He had explained everything to Sif in that cell, trying to pick up the pieces of their past relationship. Pain lanced through his heart as he remembered that the last time he spoke to Frigga, his mother, he had been in that cell as well. He had told her that she was not his mother, that she was no family of him. If he had only known. He felt Sif's hand slipping in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze, comforting, trying to ease his guilt. The feeling receded when they had passed his old cell, and he steeled himself once more. He could not show any emotion to Lorelei, for it was a weakness that she could exploit. He released Sif's hand and went to stand before her cell. She was lying on a bed, idly lounging, her knees crossed, her legs softly rocking. She did not show any signs of discomfort. On the contrary, when she saw them, she grinned broadly.

"Lady Lorelei." Loki said, curtly.

"Oh, let's forego on the titles, shall we? You may call me Lorelei, and I will call you Loki." She grinned even wider when she saw his shocked face. "Oh, come on, my dear, did you really think I would not be able to see through such a disguise, fine as it may be. I am not one of those sheep that can not keep one from another. I know you, my prince, better than you know. Anyone with half a brain could tell that you are not the Allfather. You practically  _reek_ of Seiðr."

" And who else possesses this knowledge? Your master?" Sif cut in.

Lorelei turned her attention towards her, and the sultry, husky voice turned into an ice-cold one, as sharp as steel. "As I told you before, Lady Sif, unlike some, I am no lapdog.I am my own master. No one tells me what to do and when to do it. A freedom I offered you as well, an offer you spurned. But, now I can see why." she looked back at him and threw him her most seductive glance. Sif was practically seething in anger. She wanted very much to retort, but he laid a hand on her arm, and she quieted somewhat.

"Do you know what these are?" he took the crystals out of his pockets and held out his hand. She got up, moved as close as the barrier would allow and bent over, so deeply that he had no other choice than to look at her cleavage.

"They seem to be portal stones of some sort. I have never seen any like these, though. Where did you get them?"

"They were used to anchor a portal between Asgard and a galaxy outside of Yggdrasil know as the Chitauri Space. A creature named the Other, a servant of the Titan Thanos gave them to their agent here in Yggdrasil to open small portals in the Nine Realms."

"And you think I am that agent?" she asked, arching her brow. " Aw, Loki dear, you wound me with your lack of faith. Why would I ally myself with someone who worships death, who wants to destroy rather than rule? I thought  _you_ thought higher of me. I thought that perhaps, you liked me..." she looked away almost shyly, but he knew she was playing with him.

"Cease, Lorelei, for it will not work. And yes, I believe you have something to do with it. You have the right motivation, the necessary skills, the cunning. Who know what Thanos could have offered you?"

"Ooh, you flatter me, my prince, or should I say, my king?" Somehow, he felt more wrong about his new position when she said it. "But, believe me or not, I had nothing to do with it, and now I am in a cell, harmless, completely at your mercy." she winked, and he felt soiled.

"You were trying to take over Midgard at the exact same time as the disturbances occured. You know of the branches that connect the realms, you can walk them. Why would you try to conquer Midgard, if not to give Thanos a foothold in the Nine Realms?"

"I did not do it for Thanos." she spat out, and locked gazes with Loki. "I did it for you, so you could realize that we are made for each other. I would have finished what you had started. I would have brought you the heads of your enemies on a silver platter. I would have conquered Midgard for you, my love, so you would see that I am worthy of your love, that together, we would be unstoppable. Release me, and together we will show the Nine Realms the true meaning of power. I have loved you. I have always loved you. Not like _her."_ she blurted out. "She betrayed you. She lied to you. She broke your heart. She used you to forget about Thor, and when she had him, she dropped you like a tree drops a leave in the autumn. And when Thor left her for the mortal, she came crawling back, and you took her back. She does not deserve your love. She does not deserve even your mercy. Join me, my king, and together we will rule Yggdrasil. We ca...." she fell silent. Her mouth continued to move, but no sound escaped her lips. She looked positively outraged and glared at Loki, but he was staring at Sif, who was smirking victoriously.

"Been practicing, have we?" he said, grinning as well.

"Well, yes, I figured that it would come in handy in case Fandral annoyed me too much. This way, I don't have to punch him in the face."

"Well, this should keep her quiet for a while." They walked away from the cell, not even looking back when a large crash indicated that Lorelei had smashed a chair against the wall. They called the guards back and he gave strict orders not to talk to the prisoner under any circumstances. Together, they began the long climb back to the surface.

"Do you think she is telling the truth?" Sif asked.

"I don't know." he admitted, "but as long as she is safely locked away, she is no immediate threat. But mabye there are more than one. But, for now, we cannot do anything else but to keep our eyes open. Well, not on Asgard, anyway."

*****

The next day, he was standing in Heimdall's observatory, ready to depart. He had woken early, so no one could see him leave. He had left Sif a note, saying that he left Asgard in her hands, and that he had the utmost faith in him. Right before Heimdall could activate the Bifrost, however, he could hear a horse on the bridge, and indeed, it was Sif who dismounted and strode towards him, her jaw set and eyes blazing.

"You seriously did not think that I would let you go to Midgard alone, now would you? I daresay you won't be very welcome there, and you will need someone reliable, someone Thor knows and trust, to vouch for you."

"But what about Asgard? We can't leave her unguarded, especially when we are at the brink of war."

"In the absence of the king, his heirs, other progeny and primary advisor, the task of governing the realm falls to the secondary advisor. Heimdall here will rule Asgard until your return, or Odin awakens. You will not shake me off so easily, Loki."

"So it seems." he sighed in exhasperation and rolled his eyes, but he smiled nonetheless. She truly was something else. "Ok, Heimdall, open the Bifrost." The Gatekeeper nodded, put his sword on the pedestal and the Bifrost pierced the empty space, sucking them into his stream. The last thing he saw was Heimdall bowing to him, before the nauseating array of colors filled his sight. Fortunately, the trip did not take very long, and before soon they landed on the roof on a building, somewhere in a city he had not visited before, or if he had, it must have changed quite a lot, because he had no memory of the place. What he  _did_ remeber, however, were the faces of his brother and his lady, the mortal Jane Foster, who were staring at him like they had seen a ghost, wich, to them, would be a correct assumption.

"Brother, Lady Jane, it has been too long, hasn't it?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this LONG overdue update, but my finals kept me from writing, and I'm also writing another story from another fanfictionverse, so I have been quite busy. But now I will have all the time in the world to finish this story, so I hope I will be able to update on a more regular base.
> 
> Also, I want to thank all the readers that have given me kudos, I really appreciate it. I also want to thank those readers that have left a comment. It's always nice to hear that someone finds your work worth reading.  
> Thanks guys, you're the greatest.


	29. Family Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No rights whatsoever

The silence stretched on while they gaped at him. After a while, it began to feel uncomfortable. Loki began to softly bounce on the balls of his feet, but he did not break the silence. It was imperative that they did, if just to make sure that their brains had not melted. Then, Jane stood up and pointed her finger at him.

"Wha...? How is this possible?" Jane stuttered. Her face went bone white and her eyes were huge with shock. "You died. I saw you die. This is impossible. You were stabbed. In the chest. Not an illusion, you. This can't be real."

"I assure you, miss Foster, this is very much real. And no, your eyes did not deceive you. I was indeed stabbed. It just did not have the intended effect."

She shaked her head, still trying to make sense, but his attention was drawn towards Thor, who stood up and made his way over to him. Loki had to resist the urge to back away, but Thor just put his hands on his face, like he was uncertain that he was real. After a few seconds, he withdrew his hands, apparently satisfied that it was no hallucination. Then, he punched Loki in the face. He could feel his nose break, and he tasted the metallic taste of his own blood in his mouth. His head whipped back and he had to fight the urge to howl in pain. He collapsed on the rooftop floor, hands clutched on his nose. He spat out a mouthful of blood. "I think I might have deserved that."

"YOU THINK?" Thor roared, "YOU BLOODY THINK THAT? I TRUSTED YOU, AGAIN. I MOURNED YOU, AGAIN. AND ALL FOR NAUGHT. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU PUT PEOPLE THROUGH? DO YOU REALLY THINK OF NONE BUT YOURSELF? YOU HURT PEOPLE, PEOPLE WHO WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO LOVE AND TRUST YOU, YOU HURT THEM. WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, I WAS HEARTBROKEN. AND NOW, AT THE TIME I FINALLY MADE PEACE WITH YOUR DEATH, YOU JUST SHOW UP LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. "

He knew Thor was right, he knew that the words he spoke, cruel as they might be, were true, but he yelled back nonetheless: "AND WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, HMM? HELP YOU AND THEN GO BACK TO MY NICE, COMFORTABLE CELL TO SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS IN SOLITARY CONFINMENT?"

" I... WE COULD HAVE SPOKEN TO FATHER. HE WOULD HAVE SEEN REASON. HE WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT YOU HELPED TO SAVE THE NINE REALMS, AND HE WOULD HAVE SHOWN YOU MERCY. HE CARES ABOUT YOU, LOKI, EVEN IF YOU AND HIM BOTH DENY IT."

"It would not have mattered. My crimes are too numerable and grave to ignore. He would have had no choice but to throw me back into the dungeons for the remainder of my days. Perhaps the executioner's axe was a way of mercy." His quip fell flat when he saw Thor's face. "You can choose wheter you believe me or not, it makes no matter, but I did not trick you. I intended for that sword to pierce me. I intendet to die that day."

"But ... _why?"_ Thor's voice was hoarse from shouting.

"Can't you see it? To end all the suffering that my existence causes. I saw it every time I looked in your eyes, every time I looked in Mother's eyes, the shame and pity you held for me at what I had become, the utter disappointment. But the hope as well. The hope that one day, I might better myself, that I could redeem myself somehow. You still held hope that the brother and son you knew was still in me somewhere. At the time I thought that he was dead and could not be brought back by any means. I knew that I could not go back, and that it would cost you immense pain. If I was dead, you could grieve properly and then move on. It was the best path, at the time."

"And now? What has changed?"

Loki looked at Sif and smiled. "Everything!" She blushed very prettily.

Thor just looked confused, looking both at him and Sif like they had grown extra heads, but realisation dawned on Jane Foster. "They're in love."

"What? Loki and Sif? That's impossible. Loki cannot love anyone like that and Sif would never have him. She loves m..." His voice fell away when he received death glares from both Jane and Sif. On any other moment, he would have laughed at seeing Thor so distressed, but the way Thor triviallised their relationship made his blood boil.

"And why would that be impossible, pray tell? Sif and I have been friends since we were both children, best friends. I was the one who invited her to train with us. I was the one who cut her hair so she might prover herself to the other warriors. I was the one who had his mouth sewn shut because I stole dwarven hair to restore her locks. I was the one who was blamed because she preferred black over blond. And you say that I am incapable of love? I loved her from the day we first met." Green fire flickered in his hand, and his vision turned red with anger.

" I loved him from the day we first met, but it took me a while to figure out. I THOUGHT I was in love with you, but after a while I found out that it was Loki all along. But by then, I had hurt him, so badly, that he distanced himself from me. I felt hurt, but I could understand him. He had offered me his heart and I carelessly stepped on it. But we succeeded in making it work again. In the end." She was faltering a bit, so he slipped his hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

"What do you mean, 'hurt him?'" Jane asked, a little hesitant.

Sif bowed her head in shame. "I was aware of Loki's feelings for me, but I did not realize the depth of those feelings. I told him I was in love with Thor without thinking about the pain it did him. When Thor turned me down again and again, he was always there for me, offering a shoulder to cry on, never once trying to take advantage of my grief. A true friend. Then, one day, my birthday, where Thor was seducing Freya, I took a little more than he offered. I kissed him and we made love. The next time, he stayed away, afraid that he had taken advantage of me while I was vulnerable, but I purposely sought him out. I still thought I was in love with Thor, and to my shame, I admit that I sought Loki's company more for comfort than anything else. But I made him hope. It began to happen frequently then, and I began to return some of the feelings he harbored for me. But then, Thor finally noticed me, and I was so overjoyed, I forgot all about the friend who was always there for me, who did everything just to make me smile. I forgot that I was his whole world." A tear made it's way down her cheeck, but she made no move to swipe it away.

"What happened?" Jane whispered, like she was afraid of the answer.

"Loki caught me and Thor having sex in the forest. It was a double betrayal, because it was in our secret spot. The second I saw Loki's face, I knew I made a terrible mistake. I had not just hurt the kindest and sweetest person in the Nine Realms, I utterly destroyed his heart. I tried to explain myself, try to repair some of the damage that I had caused, but it was too late. And I had little more to offer then excuses. Later, I tried to convince myself that it was his own fault, that he was aware of my feelings for Thor and that it was his own foolish mistake to hope for more than friendship, and that I deserved the happiness I thought I would find with Thor, but even to my own ears it sounded hollow. I had betrayed him. With one swift action, I had lost the best friend I ever had, and that was not even the worst part."

"What do you mean?" Thor asked.

She looked at Loki, who nodded. She turned back towards Thor. " We all know Loki was different from all the other Æsir, with his black hair and penchant for Seiðr. As a child, he was often taunted for this, making him a very closed child. He was afraid of showing emotions, because they might have been used against him. He gave his trust only to few. I was one of those. Perhaps I was the one he trusted the most. My betrayal broke not only him, but the faith he had in all other people. I was forced to watch while my friend, the man I by then knew I loved, withdrew himself from this world, closing himself off to all other people. His emotions were the reason of his pain, so he locked them away deep within himself, where they could never harm him again. He shut out the entire world. When I realized that I was in love with him, it was too late. He had built a wall around his heart that was too strong even for me to break down. I saw my friend transform from a warm, kind-hearted good man to a cold, calculated thing, and I knew that it was my fault. But I still loved him. Even when I fought to end his short reign and to restore Thor to the trone, I loved him. When he fell from the Bifrost and was thought dead, my heart died with him, only to splutter back alive when he was found on Midgard. When he was defeated and brought back in shame, I still loved him, and I hated myself for it, for he was a traitor and a murderer. Then one night, I visited his cell. Lots of things were made clear for me that night, but I left with a glimmer of hope that all was not lost. When Thor broke him out of his cell to avenge Frigga, I was sure that he could be redeemed, and I allowed myself to love him again. By then, I knew he loved me still, after all these years. Then, he died, again. Once again my heart was pierced, but when I found him alive and well in Asgard, I was so overjoyed. And now we are here."

"That's... quite the story." Jane whisteled. Sif smiled wanly.

"Wait, you said you found him in Asgard? Why would you go back to Asgard, Loki? You knew that Father would have no choice but to throw you in the dungeons if he discovered you?" Thor demanded.

"I wanted bring him the news of my dead myself, to see if he cared at all."

"OF COURSE HE CARES, LOKI, YOU'RE HIS SON." Thor cried out, exasperated.

"The last time I saw Father before that, he said he would happily lop my head off if not for Mother."

"That's just... I'm sure he... Fair enough." Thor sighed. "How did Father react?"

"Well, he said some positive things about me, but then he fell into the most inconvenient Odinsleep."

"WHAT?"

"You heard me. We were still at war with the Dark Elves, and you were fighting Malekith on Midgard. Asgard needed a leader. So i took on Odin's mantle and form, and I have ruled as king ever since."

"YOU..... YOU... HOW COULD YOU? DO YOU STILL COVET THE THRONE, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?"

"I took the throne because there was no one else. When you returned from Midgard victoriously, I offered it to you, and if you had chosen to accept that, I would have given you the throne. But you chose love over duty. You chose Midgard over Asgard. And so I decided to remain acting King, until you or Odin would return to claim what is yours. If you want to claim it now, by all means, it's yours."

"So it was you who gave me his blessing, even if he could not strictly do so. I should have known."

"Father might have praised the man you have become, but did you really believe for one second that he would have let you shirk your duty to live on Midgard?" They both laughed at that. 

"Who knows about your survival?" Thor asked.

"Us four, Heimdall, Fandral and Volstagg and a little girl named Astrid. Heimdall knew all along, he said that I could hide myself from him, but was not able to make him think I was the Allfather. He did not arrest me or anything because he serves the realm and did not perceive me as a threat to the realm. The rest discovered it by accident. I saved the little girl from a burning building, but I could not keep the enchantment up while inside the building. They saw me as I exited."

"Has there been a fire in Asgard? Were you ablo to put it out."

"Not just a fire, Thor. Worse. An attack." Sif said, grimly.

"AN ATTACK? How is that possible? Who would be foolish enough to try the might of the Realm Eternal?"

"Thanos, an Eternal from Titan. A warlord with immense power and a disturbing obsession with death. He was the one that sent me to Midgard to retrieve the Tesseract. The Chitauri are, or should I say were, only one of the races loyal to him. He wants the Tesseract, and we suspect he allied himself with both the Frost and the Fire Giants, both of wich have a burning hatred towards Asgard. With the help of a traitor, his powerful servant The Other had managed to open a portal from both Muspelheim and Jotunheim to Asgard. While Sif, Fandral and Volstagg held them off, I closed the portal, but not before Astrid, the little lady I saved from the burning building stabbed the Other in the eye when he tried to get through. But the price was steep. Whole parts of the city have burned down, and many guards were caught off-guard and slain. But this was only a skirmish, a warning. The real war will start soon, and if we do not act fast, it will envelop all of Yggdrasil. We need all the allies we can get. We need you. We need Midgard."

"Well, you have certainly given me a lot to think about. But if Asgard needs me, I will of course help. But I will require more information."

"My chief advisor, Goddess of War Lady Sif Tyrsdottir will be happy to assist you." Sif gave him a mocking bow and rolled her eyes, before she and Thor went inside. That left him with Jane Foster. He truly did not know what to say to her. _Should I adress her politely? Should I ignore her? What should I do?_ He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off.

"First of all, your little stunt back there, trying to die and such is a dick move. You have hurt your brother more then you realize. He loves you, despite everything you have done. You should cherish that, the unconditional love he bears from you. Other people would have given up long ago. Do you understand me?" he had only the time to nod before she continued. "Ok, just making things clear." and the next moment she hugged him. "I wanted to thank you for saving my life on that Dark Elf world. You risked your life for me, a mortal,  _Thor's_ mortal. It does not make you OK in my book, but it's a step in the good direction. Plus, if I know Thor just a little bit, I think that very shortly, you will be my brother-in-law, so I want to get along with you. For Thor's sake. It means a lot to him."

"Miss Foster, ever since the day that Thor returned from Asgard after his exile, I wondered what made you so special that you were able to change Thor on a fundamental level. When I was here on Midgard, I was toying with the idea of finding you to see for myself, but I never wanted to hurt Thor so badly out of spite. But now I see why. You are special, Jane Foster, in more ways than you realize. The mystery behind the mystery." she blushed and swatted him playfully on the arm. She left her hand on his arm, and they fell into a companionable silence. But on that moment, Erik Selvig ran up on the roof, put both his hands on Jane's shoulders and pulled her away from him.

"Stay away from her, you monster." The good doctor did not seem fully himself. Apparently, the mind-controlling scepter had lingering effects. He truly felt sorry for the man, what he had put him through.

"Doctor Selvig, please let me explain."

"Eric, listen to him. He's not..." Jane tried

"Don't listen to him Jane, he will put you under his spell and make you into his marionette. But don't worry, I called S.H.I.E.L.D, they are on their way right now.

_Curses._ He had hoped to have a little more time before they showed up, so that he could fully convince Thor and Jane that he was no threat to Midgard. They were still doubting his good intentions, he could see that. This could easily destroy all the progress he had made so far.

He raised his hand, casting his invisibility charm, but before he could complete the incantation, something hit him in the back. Hard. He flew forward and smashed against the wall. He groaned in pain loudly.

"Christmas is early this year, I see. What are you doing here, Reindeer Games?" The metally tone of the Iron Man rang through the sky. He jumped back to his feet, only to be thrown on the groud once again when a shield hit him on the side of the head. The man in blue, red and white jumped out of the jet, who pointed his guns at Loki. "Loki, you are under arrest. Surrender now and no further harm will come to you."  _The Widow. They are all here._ He held up his hands in defeat. Now was not the time for fighting. Behind him, Thor, Sif, a woman who Loki recognized as Foster's assistent and a tall boy stepped on the roof. Sif immediately put herself between Loki and the guns, but he gently pushed her away. "I knew this was coming. They would find us sooner or later. Sooner, the better." She looked into his eyes and he saw a hint of uncertainty, perhaps even fear, but she nodded and stepped out of the way.

The jet lowered his hatch, and a man came out. Tall, dressed in black leather, an eyepatch. Director Fury. He did not address Loki in person, but ignored him and walked straight towards Thor. "Thor, care to explain to me why this man here is not in Asgardian custody as you promised me, but is walking freely on my planet, the very planet he sought to conquer."

" I released him to help me slay the Dark Elves who killed our mother. After wich..."

"Yeah, I don't really care. All I care about is that this man, this criminal, is free. Is this the justice Asgard promised us? All the people he killed, all the lives he destroyed, and he walks free after less than a year? This is a fucking joke."

"If I may, Director, ..." Loki began, but Fury cut him off. He saw Sif clutching the hilt of her sword tightly.

"If Asgard does not want us to give the justice we are due, we will take matters into our own hands."

"You can't do that..." Thor protested.

"I can and I shall. We delivered him into your care because you insisted that the punishment that would be meted out in Asgard was far more appropriate. But now, we will have to make due with our 'primitive means.' We cannot hope to keep him, but we can hope to execute him. That is the price that is payed on Earth for crimes his size."

"You will not execute a Prince of Asgard." Thor bellowed.

"Leave it, Thor." Loki said, and everyone looked at him, suprised, "The Director is in his right. I have committed terrible crimes, not fully by my own volition, but crimes for wich I need to be punished nonetheless. And I will accept any punishment. I do, however, have one condition."

"You have no right to negotiate."

"I have the right in this. Just as you are entitled to accuse me, I am entitled to defend myself. My fate will not depend on the caprice of one man."

"Where are you going with this, Mr Absolute Power?" Fury sighed.

"I demand a trial!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised regular updates, but my life has been rather crazy the past few weeks. So I'm glad I'm finally able to upload this, and take my story one step closer to the ultimate finale. I'm looking forward to it, because then I'll be able to focus on other stories or even other fandoms. 
> 
> Like what you read? Leave a comment below or click "Kudos" if you haven't done so already (you know you want to)


	30. Law & Loki

"Well, not exactly the kind of comfort I'm used to, and not at all appropriate for someone of my standing, but it'll have to make due, I suppose. Is this the way your kind receives foreign dignitaries?" He asked cheekily, earning him a glare from Agent Hill.

"No, this is how we receive terrorists and war criminals. In you go." She shoved him in a glass cage not unlike the one he had sent plummeting down to the surface almost a year ago. "See that glass? It responds to touch. If you so much as scratch it, the room will fill with a lethal neurotoxin. You'll be dead within minutes."

"So much trouble, just for me? I'm touched." he grinned. Flattering. Utterly useless, but flattering. As if a Midgardian fume could ever kill him. They might as well give him a kitten as guard.

"You will stay in this cell in anticipation of your trial. No one will be allowed to see you, except your attorney, should you choose to appoint one. In the meantime, you will only speak when spoken to. Break these rules, and there will be severe repercussions. Do I make myself clear?"

"Inescapably clear!" he said, and he gave her a mock bow. She just glared at him, but left without saying anything else. He chuckled. 

There was not much furniture inside his cell, just a table with two chairs, a bed, a small table and a bucket. They did not even give him a proper toilet. "Barbarians!" he muttered and sat down on the bed. There was a pitcher with water on the table and he poured himself a cup. Then, he noticed that there was a stack of paper lying on the floor under the table. When he picked them up, he laughed. Just like he had promised, Fury had left him some magazines to read.

 

*****

"Get up, you have a visitor." One of the guards banged on the wall of his cell, rudely awaking Loki from his slumber. "Your lawyer is here. That is, I think it's your lawyer. Doesn't seem like the type. Pretty hot, though."

Sif entered the room, wearing a Midgardian suit and carrying a briefcase. She nodded to one of the guards, who opened the cell door for her. She walked inside, put the briefcase on the table, walked over to him and pulled him in a passionate kiss. Loki knew the guards were watching, probably eating their hearts out with jealousy, so he decided to make a show for them. When he finally pulled away, he noticed that the guards were dispersing, muttering quietly. He smirked and turned his attention back to Sif, who had sit down. He took the chair opposite of hers and sat down as well.

"Sif? What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like this?"

"Well, the Lady Darcy, you know, Jane's assistant gave me a few lessons about Midgardian trials. Apparently, this is what lawyers wear when talking to their clients. I think that during the actual trial, I'll have to wear a robe or something. Apparently, all those involved must wear one."

"I'm not really that familiar with Midgardian justice. What will you do, presicely?"

"I will be talking in your defence, of course. Apparently, they don't trust you to do your own defence. Half of them is probably scared that you will put them under a spell or something. You certainly left your mark on these people."

"Who is going to be presiding over the trial?"

"Fury himself. It's not going to be a public trial, so only the people directly involved with your actions will be there. I think they want to keep your return quiet. I learned that S.H.I.E.L.D is under a lot of duress right now. A few months ago, an organisation called HYDRA commandeered a few of their latest type of aircrafts and wanted to kill a great many people. Captain America foiled their plan, but the airships crashed into their command center and a lot of people died. Their reputation was badly damaged, and they were forced to disband, officially. Non-officially, they keep working, like when they helped me catch Lorelei, but the support of their governments is weak. If they find out that you, a wanted war criminal that they surrendered to Asgard custody is free and on their realm after only a year, S.H.I.E.L.D will lose its remaining support. That's why Fury wants to keep this quiet. Only a few people know about this. The Avengers will represent New York, the Lady Jane, Darcy and Erik Selvig will represent Puente Antiguo."

"If this is correct, I won't stand much of a chance, now do I?"

"Well, you submitted to it. But we have to try. For Asgard."

"We will need Midgard in this war. If my punishment is the price for their help, so be it. I think my best chance is to tell the truth, don't you think."

Sif scratched her chin thoughtfully. "That seems like the best option, but there is only one problem..."

"Nobody will believe me." he said dryly.

"Well, your reputation precedes you. You can't expect them to believe the God of Mischief and Lies, do you? But there is one more option. You won't like it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, apparently S.H.I.E.L.D has developed some kind of truth potion. Apparently, it is extremely potent. If you want them to believe you, you will have to administer it."

"I don't think I have much of a choice. Fine, tell them that I will submit to this serum. Tell them I am ready

*****

 They lead Loki into the court room in the same fashion as during his previous trial; handcuffs that prevented him from using his Seiðr in place. The hall was spacious and empty; no visitors were allowed. He looked up and caught the gaze of his one-eyed judge (again). At his left was Agent Maria Hill, who was to be the accuser. At his right were the Avengers, Thor, Jane, the Lady Lewis, Dr Selvig and (to his suprise) The Warriors Three.  _A stroke of brilliance. Bless you, Lady Sif._

"Normally, the jury must consist of members who have no personal gain or loss tied with the outcome of the trial, but this is hardly a regular trial. Even Fury's superiors don't know about this, so he needed to keep this quiet. But nonetheless, these are the people we need to convince, not some strangers. Stick to our strategy, and I'm sure we'll be fine." Sif said in hushed tones as, he sat down next to her. He noted that she was indeed wearing a ridiculous black robe

"The accused has arrived. Be seated, everyone." Fury's voice cut through their conversations. "This court is now in session. The case of S.H.I.E.L.D and by extent the planet Earth vs Loki Odinson is now opened. Prosecutor Hill, you have the floor."

"Thank you, Director. Esteemed members of the 'jury', I'm sure that this man standing before you needs no introduction. You've all met him, fought him, suffered by his hands. A heartless monster who cares naught about innocents, about life, about everything but himself. He razed a small town just to get back to his brother. He unleashed an alien army upon this planet. He leveled half New York. He tried to conquer Earth, make us all submit to his will. When we defeated him, instead of dealing with him ourselves, as we should have, we gave him up under the promise that he was safely locked away in a cell in Asgard to rot away for all eternity. But one year later, that man is standing here in this courtroom, sprung free from his prison, free to cause chaos, death and destruction once more. No, we say. Enough. We will finish this, once and for all."

She then continued by showing footage of him on his glider in New York, followed by several Chitauri, blowing up cars and killing people. The image was crystal clear, you could see the manic smile on his face. Enough evidence to condemn him a thousand times over. Fury thought so too, apparently. "Will the defence want to add something to that?"

There was no point in denying it, they both knew that. "No."

"Fine. The defence has the floor."

"Thank you, your Honour. The Defence calls upon Loki Odinson." Sif proclaimed

"Objection, your Honour. Mr Laufeyson here is a notorious liar. The crime of perjury means nothing to him. How will we know that he is telling the truth? I propose that we subject the accused to the QNB-T16 Truth Serum. That is, if he is willing to take it."

"And? Is the accused willing to undergo this procedure?"

Loki stood up, "I am."

"Very well then. Give him the serum." An agent came forward with a coffin. He opened it and took out some kind of syringe. After the injection, Loki felt nothing at first.  _So much for their powerful truth serum._ But then it was as if some sort of liquid fire was coursing through his veins, and he had to surpress the urge to vomit.

"Good, the serum is working." Fury stated. "Miss Tyrsdottir, you can proceed."

"Thank you, Director. The defence calls upon Loki Odinson." Sif said, and two agents escorted Loki to another chair to Fury's left. Sif rose as well and stood before him.

"Are you Loki Odinson?" _Shit._

"No!" he grounded out, much to the shock of everyone in the room except for him, Sif and Thor.

"What do you mean, no? You are Loki! You said that potion would prevent him from lying?" Hill said to Thor.

"It does. He's not lying."

"My name is Loki, but I am no Odinson. I am Laufeyson. My father is not Odin Borson, my father was Laufey, King of the Frost Giants of Jotunheim."

"You said _was_? What happened to him?" Hill asked. _I hate this potion._

"I killed him. Happy? But I hardly believe that this is relevant to my case. You cannot hold me accountable for any crimes I committed outside of Midgard. So it makes no matter."

"Mr Laufeyson, could you describe the events up to and including this trial?" He nodded.

"Fine. It all began on the day that my adoptive brother, Thor, would ascend to the throne of Asgard. It seemed that I was the only one that saw Thor as he really was. He was unfit to become king, prone to anger and never thinking before doing. Also, he was quite arrogant."

"I can confirm that." the Lady Darcy piped up. "Sorry, big guy, but you were kind of an ass. When we met, you scared the hell out of me. That was when I tazed you, remember?"

"Vividly" Thor answered, "and it is true what my brother said. I was arrogant, reckless, vain, and I put the life of everyone around me at risk."

"To postpone the coronation, I smuggled a few Frost Giants into Asgard. When they evidently would have been discovered, Thor would loudly call for war wich was by far the worst possible solution, thus proving his inaptitude. But what I had not foreseen was that my brother would go to Jotunheim in secret, with myself, the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, against the Allfather's commands. We were rescued by the Allfather before any of us was killed, but Odin banished Thor to Midgard to atone for his sins."

Then, the Warriors Three and Thor were called upon the witness stand to confirm the events. _They must fear that I am deluded, and that I tell them what I THINK is the truth. If they have to verify all that I say, this is going to be a long trial._

"Can we continue? Thank you. Now, while Thor was in Midgard, I discovered the truth of my heritage, that I was abandoned and left to die by my real parents, that Odin found me and raised me as his son. At the time, it seemed like the only reason he took me in was for political gain, as leverage against Laufey. For years he had favored Thor above me, and finally I found out why. But when I confronted him, he fell into the Odinsleep, a sort of coma that he needs to regenerate his body, leaving me the acting king of Asgard." Everybody had fallen silent by now, mesmerized by his story. "I was filled with anger and grief, hatred against the Frost Giants and my father, Laufey. I thought that if I could destroy Jotunheim, I would free myself of my past, reject my Jotun heritage and prove to Odin that I was a worthy son. This madness consumed me, and with all Asgard mine to control, I had the power to do it. But for that, I had to make sure that Thor remained on Midgard just a while longer, so I lied to him, told him that Odin was dead and that Frigga never wanted to see him again. That was a huge blow to him."

"This is true, director." Jane Foster said, "when we managed to regain Thor's freedom, he was completely changed. Defeated, almost. But it was not wholly a bad thing. He repented for his earlier behaviour. He was nicer to those around him. It was as if hearing the news inspired him to be a better person, to honour his father's memory." Loki nodded to Jane, who even flashed him a small smile.

"After I visited Thor, I went to Jotunheim and laid the trap for my father and Jotunheim. At my return, I was confronted by the Lady Sif, who knew about me disrupting the ceremony, but she thought that I had planned to get Thor banished. She could tell something was wrong with me, and offered to aid me, but I turned it down. A few hours before, she and the Warriors Three had begged me to bring Thor back. I was irked, because it seemed like they did not have faith in me, and could not stand seeing me on the throne. I forbade them to go down to Midgard, but they went anyway. So I sent the Destroyer after them to punish them for their treason and to prevent Thor from returning to Asgard, at least not until I destroyed Jotunheim."

"So you decided to level a small town?" Hill asked, eyebrow raised.

"I was not thinking straight. There was a madness consuming me, and the power was too much to resist. The Lady Sif and the Warriors Three fought back, and with the power I had at my command, I could have easily destroyed them, and the whole town as well. But that was not my goal. After Thor begged me to leave them alone and to just take him, I complied. I just wanted Thor out of the way, but by accepting his offer, he was worthy once more and could return to Asgard. By now I had killed my biological father who wanted to kill my adoptive father, and was ready to destroy Jotunheim with the Bifrost, but Thor stopped me. He destroyed the Bifrost to stop the energy flow, and when it exploded, we both flew over the edge, but we were saved by Odin at the last moment. But when i realized that I would never stop being different, that no matter how hard I tried, I would still remain an outcast, I let go and fell into the Void."

"It was all my fault. I'm so sorry, Loki. I should have seen that you were not happy, that I was casting a shadow over you. You are right, I was arrogant and vain, taking everything I had for granted. I am sorry for everything, Loki." Thor cried out, and Loki gave him an apologetic smile.

"It was not your fault, Thor. I was consumed by envy and rage towards those that scoffed at me for being different. You cannot blame yourself for what happened. I am to blame. I wish I never brought those Jotuns into Asgard. The attack on Puente Antiguo was wrong, I know that. I knew it at the time, but I closed my eyes to it. I have killed many people, destroyed countless lives, and I will have to carry that with me for the rest of my life. It is a burden I will never be free of."

The whole room had gone silent, waiting for Loki to continue his tale.

"I fell for a long time through the vast emptiness of space, with no hope of salvation, until at last, something pulled me in. I fell into the hands of one of the most powerful beings in all the galaxies; Thanos, the Mad Titan. Thanos is one of the deviants from Titan, a moon of your planet Saturn, an exceptionally powerful one at that, and he is crazy. At some point in his life, he fell in love with the Lady Death, and..."

"Excuse me, did you just say the Lady Death?" Stark asked incredulously.

"Yes, I believe that is what I said. He is courting death, and to prove his undying love to her, he is prepared to give her the ultimate gift: annihilation of everything that is. But as strong as he is, he is not invincible. He tried to conquer Ygddrasil before, but was defeated by Asgard and was forced to fleeto the outward rims of space. He has been rebuilding his armies ever since. The Chitauri I used during his attack are his to control. But he has many other allies, stronger armies at his disposal. But he is searching for a weapon, a weapon that would make him invincible and thus unstoppable; the Infinity Gauntlet. The Infinity Gauntlet is safely in Asgard's posession, but the gems it contained are scattered around the galaxy, for it was deemed to dangerous to keep them in one place. The most powerful of the gems was sent here, to Midgard."

"The Tesseract." Selvig said.

"Correct. It was hidden away somewhere in the North, Norway I believe, and was dormant for many centuries. But recently, that changed. Some 70 years ago, the Tesseract awoke, and its call echoed trough space. I felt it, when it was awoken, so did Odin, and so did Thanos. It shone like a beacon in the darkness of space. But then, suddenly, it disappeared for a while, only to resurface a few years later."

"Yes, it was found by a nazi splinter-group called HYDRA. Its leader, Johann Schmidt, used it to design weapons that could have changed the history of the war and the world." Captain Rogers supplied.

"Yes, and its disappearance must coincide with you going under, Cap. Then, my father found it on the bottom of the ocean while he was looking for you." Stark said

"Anyway, Thanos now knew where the Tesseract was, but still had no way of retrieving it. It is a long way from the Chitauri space to Midgard, so by the time he got there, it might as well not be there anymore. Also, Asgard would have prevented him. So he searched for another way and found it in an old artifact, connected to the Tesseract, reacting to the Tesseract and using the same energy as the Tesseract."

"This would be your scepter, I presume?" Fury said.

"Indeed it is. It took him a few decades to locate and retrieve it, and when he did, the universe gave him another gift: me. The hated, disgraced, hate-filled second son of his enemy. What sweeter revenge is there than having this son conquer Midgard and having him delivering Asgard's doom on a silver platter. But I was not ready to be his servant. I was too proud, too stubborn, and I still harbored some love for the Realm Eternal and its inhabitants. So he decided to reshape me." His voice broke, a shiver went down his spine and a panic rose up in him, so great it threatened to overwhelm him, but with a great effort of will, he quelled it. Right now was the time to convince them. "He tortured me without end, day in, day out, week in, week out, without reprieve. They brought me to the verge of death and back multiple times. He broke me down until I was nothing but the broken shell of a man, lying at his feet, praying for the sweet release of death. And finally, when he deemed me ready, he rebuilt me as his servant. He filled me with bitterness, anger and hatred. Hatred against Odin, who never loved me. Hatred against Thor, who was oblivious to my suffering. Hatred against the rest of Asgard, because they betrayed me, the rightfull king, and hatred against Midgard, because Thor holds it dear. I became his servant, and I had a single mission; to obtain the Tesseract and deliver it to him. I could keep Midgard and the mortals as a reward. Now, even then I knew that Thanos would not hold his promise, that I would be dead the moment I gave him the Tesseract, but I would have agreed to anything to get away from that horrible place." He exhaled deeply.

"Thanos gave me the scepter to open a portal to Midgard. Obtaining the Tesseract was not all that difficult, but the portal I used was not stable. The scepter uses the same kind of energy as the cube, but is not near as powerfull. Activating the Tesseract from that far caused it to collapse upon itself. If I was to bring the Chitauri army to Midgard, I needed to find a way to stabilize it. That is why I took doctor Selvig with me, and Agent Barton. Doctor Selvig discovered that I needed irridium, and Barton knew how to obtain it. In Stuttgart, I let myself get arrested so that my team could get away and set up the portal. I managed to open a stable portal, but the Chitauri were defeated by your Avengers. I was captured and brought to Asgard, where..."

"Could you stop for a moment?" Banner asked. "The way you talk makes it sound like you were under control of this Thanos, but on the other hand, you were not controlled by the scepter. You were still capable of thinking for yourself?"

"If you ask me if I was under full control, no. If you ask if I was under control, then yes."

"How so?"

"The scepter. It is a powerful weapon, you have seen that for yourself. With it I could control people, like Agent Barton and Erik Selvig. But in an extent, it also controlled me. It could act as a means of communication between my and the Other, one of Thanos' generals. He used it to control me, to steer me in the right direction. It is fuelled with his will, and through it, he can command people. You have all felt its influence that day on the helicarrier. It manipulated you, deceived you, turned you against each other. That was his work. It was his influence that sparked the discordance between you. But no, I was not fully under controll. If I disobeyed, he would hurt me, but I still had some control over my actions, like when I whispered into Selvig's ear to install a failsave, a way to close the portal."

"Liar." Selvig shouted, "you had nothing to do with that. Don't try to talk your way out of this, I'm not buying this."

"Doctor Selvig, you were under my complete control. If I had commanded you to kill yourself, you would have done it. Agent Barton almost killed Agent Romanoff withouth a second thought. There was no way how you have could have gone against my command. I whispered it in your ear and commanded you to forget it, it's as simple as that. But because I was not fully under control, I also share blame for all the people I have killed, the countless lives I have destroyed. But if you want more proof than that, I understand. Thor, when we fought each other on the balcony of Stark Tower, you asked me to look around for a second, to see the chaos and destruction I had wrought. When you did, did you pay close attention to my eyes?"

"Yes, I did, but what.... Odin's beard." he whispered.

"Could you describe what happened?"

"Your eyes... changed from blue to green for a second. Did that mean that..."

"Yes, for a moment I managed to escape Thanos' hold on my mind, but it lasted only a few seconds. It was not until I had my encounter with doctor Banner's big green friend that I managed to shed his control completely. A few gigantic blows to the head seem to be the perfect weapon against mind control. Crude, but effective. By the time I awoke, the portal was closed and the Chitauri were defeated. But now I had an ever bigger problem. I had failed my mission, and I was instructed that if I tried to deceive them, or if I failed, that they would teach me the true meaning of pain, and that there was no place in the galaxy were I could hide. Unfortunately, the safest place for me to be was Asgard."

"So you went willingly. Then why, may I ask, are you back on Earth? Free? How did you escape?"

"I did not escape, Thor busted me out. You see, a while back there was a rare cosmic event called the convergence. During this convergence, the Nine Realms align perfectly. This then awoke the Aether. The Aether is one of the Infinity Gems that Thanos wants to rule the galaxies, but before him, another wanted to harbor the power of the Aether to return the Nine Realms to eternal darkness; Malekith, a dark elf from Svartalfheim. However, the Aether was found by none other than our dear Jane Foster, present here on this day." Everyone looked at Jane, who just stared at her feet. "However, her frail mortal body was ill equipped to control this power, so it slowly but surely began to consume her. So Thor brought her to Asgard. This drew Malekith and his armies to the Realm Eternal as well, and they broke through the defences. They killed Frigga, my mother, who died defending Jane and the Aether. Odin wasn't himself after that, and wanted to use Jane as bait to lure the armies of Malekith back to the city, not caring how many losses we would suffer. Thor on the other hand wanted to draw Malekith away from Asgard by getting Jane off-world, but the Bifrost was closed. And there is only one who knows all the secret pathways between the Realms; me. I wanted vengeance for Frigga's murder as much as he did, and I wanted to get away from that cell, so I agreed to help him. But just before Thor released me, he said something. He said that he had always held hope that his brother was still inside of me somewhere, but that hope had ceased to exist.  So I decided that instead of escaping, I would sacrifice myself during the fight, to redeem myself, and so I would not hurt anyone else. When Thor tried to shatter the Aether, I shielded Jane so that she would not be hurt. When someone threw a vortex grenade at her, I pushed her out of the way, and would have died then and there if not for Thor. And when Thor was being beaten to a pulp, I stabbed it so I could come close enough for the blade to pierce me as well, so I could activate the grenade. It worked and I was dying, but something brought me back. Some power prevented my death. So I returned to Asgard just in time to see Odin fall into the Odinsleep. I took on his form and I have ruled ever since."

"But why did you return to Earth. Thor had no intention of going back for the foreseeable future, so you could have played king a good long while?"

"I came back because I need Thor. I came back because I need you. I know, it sounds strange coming from the man who tried to enslave your planet one year ago but 'tis true. Recently, Asgard was attacked. A portal was opened in Asgard by one of Thanos's generals, a being called the Other. The attackers were both Frost and Fire Giants, and was opened by an Asgardian, most likely. Thanos knew of my survival, and he knew that the Tesseract was on Asgard. He does not know that the Aether is in the hands of the Collector, that is my hope, at least. But that attack confirmed my fear; Thanos is on the move. We have caught his spy, the Lady Lorelei, and killed the Other, but that won't stop him He has an impressive army here in Ygddrasil already, the Frost and Fire Giants, and many more are on their way. He has grown in his exile, and is now more powerful then ever, certainly powerful enough to overpower Asgard, and if Asgard falls, so does Ygddrasil. I sent envoys to all our allies, the Vanir, the Alfar and the Dwarves, but we need Midgard as well. You might be relatively young when compared to the other realms, and you do not yet wield the same power, but nonetheless, you have some formidable fighters among you. But I thought it best if I surrendered myself to you so that you would support Asgard in this coming war. If we want to survive this, we will all have to stand together. Thanos has not forgotten how you have defeated his army, when you spat in his face. He will take extra pleasure in destroying your world, because you defied him. I know  this must be difficult for you, but this is not for me, this is Asgard that needs your help, the home of your comrade Thor and the protector of the Nine Realms. And if punishing me is a requirement for your aid, then so shall it be." He stood up, knelt on his knees before Fury and held out his neck, a sign of surrender. 

"What is the verdict of the jury? How shall he plead?"

"Well, it is obvious that Loki has done some terrible things, inexcusible things, but there are mitigating factors. Also, he did a lot of those things under the control of this Thanos. Therefore, we find him guitly, but we ask for a more lenient punishment." _  
_

"Very well. I think 10 years in a secure holding cell should do it. We hereby declare that the accused Loki Laufeyson will serve a ten year sentence in a top-secret maximum security prison. Agent May, Agent Ward, take him away."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Director." Loki said with a sad smile.

"Oh, I really think I can. In fact, I think I'll rather enjoy it." Fury smirked. "Take him away." The two agents grabbed him on both sides.

"No, wait, he's right, you can't." Darcy Lewis suddenly said, "if Loki has told the truth, and old king whatshisname is in a coma, Thor has abdicated and Loki has never been officially denounced as an heir, he is king of Asgard, and a king has immunity. You can't arrest a king."

"Thank you, Lady Darcy, for clearing that up." Loki grinned broadly.

"No problem, tall, dark and handsome. Political science major." She winked at him.

Fury was besides himself with, well, fury. He looked like he could start screaming any time. Both after a few minutes, an unsetteling grin appeared on his face. He called one of the agents, whispered a few things in his ear and sent him away."

"It appears that miss Lewis has saved you a lot of prison time. But we have something else in store for you. Something a little more fitting. You see, I have read my fair share of ancient nordic literature."

Loki did not understand to what he was referring, but when he suddenly felt his head pulled backwards by two agents, and saw a needle glittering in the light, he knew. Even his screaming was not enough to drown out Fury's voice.

"We're done here. You have refused us, so we will refuse you. You said this monster would remain locked up for the rest of his life and you lied. You can tell Asgard that it will not receive any aid from S.H.I.E.L.D, S.W.O.R.D or any military force that we have. We have enough problems to deal with than saving your ass. You are all dismissed. Out, everyone."

****

Sif's hand was trembling when she was removing the thread, because it was not fabric but steel wire. His lips were once again torn and bloody, and his eyes were wet with tears. Just when she removed the final thread and Loki could begin to heal his wounds once again, he saw Thor and his friends walking up to him. Thor immediately rushed to his side and pulled him into a hug.

"You did the right thing, Loki. It was very courageous . It was a cruel thing to do to you, brother. I will have words with Fury when we return."

"Return? From where?"

"Well, Asgard of course." Banner said.

"But Fury said you were not going to help."

"Fuck Fury." Stark replied, "he does not control us. We do what we want. Plus, who wants to pass up an opportunity to visit another planet."

"And if you spoke the truth, we will all have to fight together to have any chance for survival. " Rogers added.

Despite the horrible pain he still felt, and the ruined mess his mouth was, Loki still smiled. He might not have Midgard, but he had the Avengers. Close enough.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There. I did it. I fucking hate this chapter. Took me forever to get it right. I think I wrote it five of six times, and deleted it five or six times. But now I am content. Some of the characters may be OOC, but overall, I am happy with the result. No need for extra mind-reading mutants (thanks for the tip though, Shalifi, but I did not want to add another Marvel Universe to the mix) because I was able to fill the gaps with some Agents of Shield Shit.  
> This chapter has given me so much trouble, but it's out there, I'm done with it, and now I can go back to the mission at hand. See you all soon, hopefully.
> 
> Any comments or suggestions? Leave a comment. Like this story so far? Give Kudos, because Kudos is love
> 
> PS: I know that in the beginning I made it look like Sif was Loki's lawyer, but I think she merely did it so she could see him. She might have had other things on her mind ... ;)


	31. Questions

They only stayed on Midgard for another day, just as long as it took for all of them to gather their belongings. Loki did not want to stay on Midgard any longer than was absolutely necessary, and Sif agreed with him wholeheartedly. In the current situation, leaving Asgard even for a day was a risk, and they had been gone for several. Also, his constraints had made it impossible for him to talk to Heimdall. Anything could have happened to Asgard while they were away, and he was anxious to return. It was strange, really, but somehow he felt more connected to Asgard then ever before, even when he tought himself one of them.  _It's because I can make a difference. I can help my subjects, I can protect them. They will probably never even know it was me, but it feels good to be wanted, to be respected._ Suddenly, he felt a hand on his arm, and saw Sif looking up at him, smiling warmly.

"Ready to go home?" she asked softly, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close.

"More then ever."

***

They were standing in the desert, waiting for Heimdall to open the Bifrost. They just had to wait until some of the man had said goodbye to their paramours. Stark took so long that the Lady Pots had to shove him towards the rest of the group, annoyed but with affection in her eyes. Thor was also saying goodbye to Jane, promising that he would return for her as soon as he could. When he finally released her to say goodbye to the Lady Lewis, she walked towards him. For a moment, they stared at one another, and he could see that she was not very sure what she would say. He decided he would go first.

"Do not fret, my lady, I will make sure he comes back, even if I have to banish him again to do so." The tiniest smile appeared on her face.

"See that you do, or I'll be coming for you." For so tiny a woman, she had a big mouth, and a big heart. "You know, I never really apologized for slapping you."

"Nor should you. I deserved that. I did some terrible things. And you are probably the only mortal who can boast about slapping a god." she chuckled at that.

"Well, you were not the first one. But I'm pretty sure that it was more painful for me that it was for you. Hell, my hand still hurts."

"You do know that there was nothing Thor would have rather done than return to you immediately. It was not his fault. He could not reach you because of me."

"Well, HE was the one that broke your Bifrost, wasn't he. You did not do that."

"I guess that's true. It was always his favorite method of solving things, punching it really hard with his hammer." they both laughed at that. Then, she did something he would never have expected; she hugged him.  _Odin's beard, she's tiny._ He tentatively put his arms around her for a few seconds, and then he released her. "Look after yourself, and stay safe!" He could only nod. "And bring him back to me in one piece, if you could!" _  
_

"I'll try!"

She flashed him a smile and went back to Thor, who immediately pulled her in for a last kiss. 

"Ok, suits, clean underwear, toothbrush. Ok, I got everything." Stark announced.

"Finally, we've been standing here for half an hour. Damn Stark, you are slower than an old lady at a grocery with a hundred dollar worth of products who wants to pay with pocked change." Barton said.

"Ok, Loki, we are ready. Take us home." Thor said, and he put a large hand on his shoulder.

"Heimdall, open the Bifrost!"

*****

"That. Was. Amazing." Stark announced when they finally reached the observatory. "Its technology is far more advanced than anything I have ever seen, but you say it's centuries old?"

"Not this one" Heimdall's voice boomed from behind them, "this one has the age of but one mortal year. The previous Bifrost was broken a few years ago, and only with the power of the Tesseract we were able to repair it."

"Tony, Bruce, Steve, Clint, Natasha, I'd like you to meet Heimdall, Gatekeeper of Asgard and Guardian of the Nine Realms."

"I welcome you all to Asgard, my lords and ladies, and hope that your stay will be a pleasurable one, but I doubt it. These are dark times indeed." Heimdall said solemnly.

"He is also known for his optimism and all-around cheerfullness." Loki commented dryly, and several people chuckled. Heimdall merely raised an eyebrow.

"Let us continue onwards, my friends. We have a lot to do, and precious little time. Also, I personally want to see to Asgard's defences" Thor extended his hand in invitation, and the moment they left the Observatory, everyone fell silent, mouths open, eyes agape.  _Mortals,_ he snorted,  _so easily impressed._ But he had to admit, Asgard at high noon did make a pretty sight, the sunlight bouncing of the magnificent gold buildings, making the city shine like the stars itself. "Welcome to Asgard!" Thor grinned at the sight of his friends' expression.

There were horses waiting for them right outside of the Observatory. Loki, Sif, Thor and the Warriors Three mounted with practiced ease, Agent Romanoff managed to get up without too much trouble, Rogers, Banner and Barton eventually got up on their horses as well, and Tony simply.

"No way I'm climbing on that thing. It just gave me this funny look, I don't think so. Besides, this is a brand new suit and I haven't got time to take that baby for a spin. It'll give me a better view on the city as well. I'm dying to explore a bit. I'm actually really curious where the water goes."

"Deep space, I guess. I wouldn't go and find out. There is no guarantee that you will come back. But if you insist, by all means..." Loki smirked.

"You know what? I'm fine! But I'm still not riding on that thing." He opened the suitcase, stepped in it, and his suit quickly assembled itself. _That must be useful for donning armor. That is, if you don't have magic._ The horses took off and were walking towards the city at a leasurely pace. When they neared the gate and the buildings came in sight, he took on Odin's appearance once more.  He rode on ahead, remaining just in earshot, and he heard Thor asking Sif:

"Why did he change back to Father? Surely, if the citizens of Asgard could hear his explanation, they would forgive him? How could they not?"

"Forgive him, maybe, but trust him? Follow him into war? Not yet, Thor. And it's not like they liked him to begin with." Thor had no reply to that.

"Asgard's opinion of Loki is better than ever for the moment. With the recent Frost Giant attack, there are voices who claim it was a mistake to prevent him from destroying Jotunheim, claiming it was "the one good thing he had ever done in his entire life." Fandral chimed in.

"Plus, they think he died trying to defend you. That certainly redeemed him a bit in the eyes of the people." Volstagg added.

"But when they find out he's not only alive, but has been impersonating Odin for the last few months, he'll be hauled back to the dungeons, if they don't lop his head off." Hogun stated.

Thor clenched his fists. Once again, he felt guilty about his obliviousness to his brother's pain when they were young. Sure, Loki had always been a little odd, a little different, but that was no reason to treat him any different than they did Thor. An image flashed through his head.

_"Some do battle, others just do tricks." A snicker to his left. A servant, laughing openly at the expense of his brother. Loki looks serious. Raises his hand, snakes appear, servants drops his platter with a scream._

At the time, he thought that the servant was laughing with his joke, and Loki had retaliated too hard. But the servant was not laughing with his joke, he was laughing at Loki. He felt ashamed. Loki did not deserve this. Ok, he had done some bad things, but they rejected him before that and he was trying to make up for it.

"One day, he will be able to walk freely once more. He will find a way to redeem himself in their eyes. Of that, I have no doubt." Thor said, loud enough so that Loki could hear him. Loki just shook his head softly and rode on. 

While they rode on, several people gathered around the Bifrost, following them. They bowed before the King and the Crown Prince, greeted the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three with the appropriate respect and stood in awe when they saw the Midgardians riding behind them. Many children shrieked in excitement when Stark flew over their head, showing off. The rest of the Avengers, who were not used to the attention as Stark was, just smiled and waved.

Finally, they reached the palace and they dismounted. Several stable boys came running to bring their mounts away, and he saw Vali, one of his advisors, walking towards him rather hurridly. 

"Allfather, thank Ygddrasil you are back. And you brought Prince Thor with you as well. Yes, very good. And who are these people, if I might be so bold?"

"You may. These Midgardians form a group called the Avengers. They are Midgard's Mightiest Heroes, apparently, and Thor's friends. They are the ones who defeated the Chitauri and Loki."

"I am honoured to be in the company of warriors so mighty." Vali said and bowed deeply. _Sycophant._

"Speak to me, Vani! Were there any signs of trouble during my absence? Any rumor that might indicate something's happening?" 

"Not that we know off, my king. We have received reports from the scouts you have sent to Vanaheim and Alfheim, and they report nothing unusual. No refugees, no rumors, nothing."

"The lull before the storm, I'm afraid." he said gravely.

"Well, you DID bring the God of Thunder, so..." Vali's voice fell away when he caught Odin's eye. "Right. Perhaps not the best time for jesting."  He turned around and wanted to walk away, but changed his mind and added: "Oh yes, before I forget, the Alfat, Vanir and Dwarves have sent envoys to discuss the increase of attacks on their Realms and possible Asgard support. They await your convenience."

"Thank you, Vali, I shan't keep them waiting too long. But first, I need to discuss a few urgent matters with the Lady Commander and my son. Apologise profusely for the delay." Vali bowed and hurried away. He turned towards the Avengers.

"Accomodations have been prepared for all of you. I'll hope you find them to your liking. If you have any wishes, don't hesitate to ask one of the servants. Rest a while, take a brief tour, eat if you want to. When it is time to meet, I will summon you. Lady Sif, would you be so kind to show them their lodgings? The rooms preserved for foreign dignitaries will do."

"What will you do in the meantime?" Sif asked.

"Doing some research." 

****

He left them to their own devices and headed to the place he felt most at home in the palace; the library. He spent the greatest part of his childhood roaming those vast corridors, looking for tomes containing hidden knowledge, magic that his mother would not teach him. But there were some sections that were off limits even to him, books that only the Allfather could gain acces to, sealed by magic only Gungnir could break. He needed that knowledge. He could kick himself for not thinking of it earlier.

The library was even dustier than he remembered, probably because he had been one of the few to actually visit the library. He had always thought it stupid. Here the Aesir had the largest collection of knowledge in Yggdrasil at their disposal, ripe for the taking, and yet they never used it, chose to remain ignorant and laughing at those who did use it.  _Fools! Jane Foster would kill someone just to spend a few hours in these halls._

He walked through the corridors towards the Forbidden Section. A feeling of caution seeped into his bones. He had tried to acces the Forbidden Section more than once, but there was some invisible force, powerful Seiðr, blocking his path. Twice he had tried to overcome that hurdle. Once when he was still a mere child, when he only knew about it from the warnings of the librarian, and once when he was an adult and deemed himself powerful enough to submit it to his will. Boy, was he wrong. The shock he received was enough to knock him out for a few hours.

But now, Gungnir in his right hand, he walked through the barricade as if it did not exist. He released the breath he had not realised he was holding, and began his search. The Forbidden Section contained much knowledge that was deemed too dangerous for anyone to posses. He saw books about necromancy that looked so weahtered and fragile that he knew that one touch would turn them to dust. Ominous black tomes about conjuration, summoning ancient and powerful demons. The young Loki would have jumped at the opportunity to study those arts. The old Loki knew better. Some powers best remained hidden. Some books best remained unopened. But at long last, he found the work he was looking for.  A small book, compared to the ones surrounding it, with a brown leather cover, and a title in golden letters. It simply said:  _Wielding Infinity._

He took the book from the shelf, took it to a table, sat down and began to read.

****

"I must admit, this place is grander than anything that I have seen on Earth. Hell, my room even puts my Malibu Beach house  to shame. That is, if there still WAS a Malibu Beach House. Somehow, terrorists always like to destroy MY property. It's like they don't like me or something." Stark ranted.

"Can't imagine why." Rogers muttered, and Barton snickered.

"I know, right? I mean, I'm smart, funny, have astonishing good looks? How can anyone have a problem with me?"

"You talk too much, are annoying at the best of times and nigh insufferable at the worst and you're not half as funny as you think you are." Loki deadpanned as he walked into the council chamber. He had summoned Thor, Sif, the Warriors Three and the Avengers there to lay out what he knew and to form some sort of battle plan.  He would talk with the Alfar and Dwarven envoy afterwards, when he had some kind of plan to give them. 

"That's rich, coming from you. Your sort of fun consists of enslaving people and trying to destroy planets, I presume?" His statement was followed by dead silence. Loki balled his fists, trying to refrain himself from hitting the insolent wretch. But that would not further his case. Not at all. Stark looked around. "What? We're all thinking it. I'm just saying it." 

"Tony is right, Loki. We talked about it. During your trial, you said that you were under Thanos' influence. But you were never completely under control. Thanos never used the scepter on you. That means that some part of this is still your responsability." Thor said calmly, althoug glaring at Tony, who shrugged.

Loki took a deep breath. They were reasonable in their demands, of course. He would have asked the same thing in their place. "True, Thanos never used the scepter on me. My mind, altough corrupted by his influence, was still my own. He did not force me to launch an attack on Earth. I took it readily enough when it was offered to me. By then, I would have chopped of both my legs and eaten them, if only he would stop." He shuddered. "After spending some time with Thanos, he begins to enter your mind, poisen your thoughts, indoctrinating you. He told me about my failures, the contempt that my so-called family harboured against me. My father despising my very beign, my mother lying to me about my very life, my arrogant brother who only brought me along so he would shine all the brighter in comparison. How good it would feel to take my revenge, showing them my power, to make them watch helplessly when I unleashed my wrath upon the Realm that was my downfall in the first place.  I took it. And I will have to live with the consequences.Thousands of lives are lost because of me. I can never change that. But there are billions of lives now in peril. I can save them. It will not redeem me, but I will not stand by idly when the world I know crumbles around me. I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did, for I will never be able to be forgiven for my deeds. But I can aks for your help, to end this once and for all. Don't do it for me. Do it for Thor, who is your friend and teammate, and who would do the same thing for you. Do it for your loved ones, so they will live to see the next day. Do it for all the unborn children in the Nine Realms, so they don't have to grow up with a future that is sacrificed upon Thanos' cruel altar."

Barton whistled. "Silvertongue indeed."

Rogers stood up. Apparently, he was the leader of the Avengers. "You are right. I don't trust you. Not yet, at least. But I trust Thor. He's a good man. If he believes that you are telling the truth, and his friends believe it as well, that's good enough for me. And, from my point of view, we're all in this together. Now is not the time to stand divided amongst ourselves. If what you say is the truth, and the Chitauri we defeated in New York were only an vanguard, than this is going to get a hell of a lot worse before it's gonna get better. So we'll stand together, as one." He held out his hand. After a few seconds of hesitating, Loki shook it. Thor was beaming as an idiot.

"You sound like the attack on New York was just some petty grievance we should forget." Barton mumbled.

"We don't have much of a choice, Clint. United we stand, divided we fall. That's how I see it. Anyone else has a problem with the plan? No? Good, let's continue."

"Thank you, Captain." Loki said. "Could you gather around the table, please?" Everyone took their place around the table. Loki used his Seiðr to create a holograpic image of the Nine Realms.

"Lady Sif, if you please?"

"Yes, my liege. Up till now, the enemy's movement has been limited to one full-scale assault on Midgard, a few skirmishes on Alfheim, Vanaheim and Nidavellir, and one larger attack on Asgard. We suspect that the skirmishes were merely diversions to draw attention away from Asgards, because Asgard has an obligation to aid his allies in their time of need. The attack on Asgard was merely to gauge our strenght and to create panic. We did manage to take out one of their generals, but that is but one victory.  Midgard, of course, was attacked because of the Tesseract."

"I don't get it. The Tesseract is a source capable of limitless energy output, but as you said, it was but one of the 'gems' out there. Why did he try so hard to get his hands on this one. Were there no others he could have found more easily?" Banner asked

"He already has one in possesion." Every face looked at him, shocked. "Sorry, HAD one in his posession. I have done some extensive research on the Infinity Gems this afternoon, and I have come to some interesting insights. The scepter he gave me was no mere scepter. It is my belief that it is in fact the Mind Gem, one of the 6 Infinity Gems."

"How did you reach that conclusion?" Volstagg asked.

"Well, the first clue I had is that it allowed me to control other people's mind. But it also explains why it was able to react to the Tesseract, and why it was able to force it to shut down. It seems that it has the power to exert the will of it's wielder even over other Infinity Stones. But it also allowed Thanos, who had the Stone in posession longer than I did, and who undoubtedly has power that far exceeds my own to control me, the wielder, through it. I don't know what happened to it. S.H.I.E.L.D.S must have taken posession of it after the battle. This could make them a potential target for an attack from Thanos. But before you hurry off, Agent Romanoff," Black Widow was already on her feet, ready to storm out, "Thanos does not need the Scepter himself to control the Tesseract, for his power and will is great. He will come for it, eventually, but he has got his eyes on a bigger prize."

"The Tesseract."

"Yes. The Tesseract or Space Gem is, as you know, a source of limitless energy. In fact, it has so much energy that it can open stable portals to other parts of the galaxy. If Thanos took posession of it, he could find the other gems and the Gauntlet in no time, and if he attacked Asgard with all his might and the might of the Tesseract combined, it does not stand a chance. That is why we must prevent him from obtaining the Tesseract. Without it, he is as helpless as a blind man. With it, the whole universe is his for the taking."  


"Shit!' Stark remarked

"Now, both the Tesseract and the Gauntlet are here, in Asgard's Vault. The guard has been quadrupled, and I have put spells on them that, theoretically, only I can break. That is, only a being with enormous power could break through those spells. I have shored up Asgard's defences and enlisted many young men and women in the army. Lady Sif here has taken to training them. According to her, they show promise. I also have contacted our allies, their envoys have arrived a few hours before we did. I'll leave the rest to the Godess of War."

"Altough a war on different fronts is possible, the chance that Thanos will launch full-scale attacks at other realms is small. It would not work out well for him. His army is strong, but not invincible, and if Asgard and its allies unite against them, he might very well lose. That's why we believe that he will attack Asgard with all his might, in the hopes of breaching our defences and obtaining the Tesseract. This is why we will try to convince the envoys to send most of their armies to Asgard, and leave only a skeleton guard behind, big enough to fight of any skirmishes. The storerooms are full, and more and more supplies are coming in from Vanaheim, as promised, so we will be able to feed them, provided they don't eat too much, like Volstagg." The big warrior sent her an indignant look, wich she ignored. "As long as our defences hold, we are safe, and we will drive them back to the darkness from whence they came."

"Sounds like a decent plan, ma'am" Rogers nodded.

"Thank you, Captain Rogers. Now, when we have word of the number of reinforcements we will receive from our allies, we can discuss defensive positions. I have already posted garrisons at key locations in the city, wich they instructed to hold at all costs."

"Thank you, Sif. Well, I think we are about done for tonight. I'm going to retire to my chambers for the night. Lady Sif, could you accompany me please?"

"Of course, my lord." she said while opening the doors. They walked in silence until they reached his chambers. He dismissed the guards and gave them the night off. "To celebrate Thor's return." The guards thanked him and left. He opened the door for Sif to enter and followed suit. The second the door fell in the lock, Odin's appearance shimmered and disappeared, and he was Loki once more.

"What is it, Loki? You have not spoken a word since we left the coucil chamber. Is there something that bothers you? You would tell me if there is something, I might hope."

"There is something." he sighed, admitting defeat. "I don't know if we can win this, Sif. I don't know if I can do this. I'm no hero. I'm no king. I am not even a good man. I am the God of Mischief and Lies, Prince of Destruction and Chaos. Everywhere I go, death follows. I have tried to kill an entire race, tried to enslave another. I caused my family no shortage of grief. I am responsible for the death of my mother. The mere notion that I am defending Asgard and Yggdrasil is just....  _absurd."_

Sif walked towards Loki and smacked him in the face. "THAT'S for being stupid. I told you already. I believe in you. Your friends believe in you. Your brother beliefs in you. Your mother died believing in you. Yes, you have done bad things. Everyone makes mistakes, Loki. Yes, yours are bigger, but that's not what counts. You feel sorry for your actions and want to repent, THAT'S what important. And we can win this. Sure, the odds seem against us, and even with our allies, we will be outnumbered, but we are strong, capable and willing to fight for our home and our loved ones. Plus, we have you, one of the smartest people in all of Yggdrasil, if not THE smartest. You will think of somehting . You always do."

"Do you really mean that?" he said with a small voice

"Yes, I do. With all my heart. You are a good man, Loki Odinson, no matter what everyone might say."

"Well, your information is slightly biased. You are insanely in love with me, after all." he managed a small smirk.

"Oh, shut up" she growled and smashed her lips against his. After a few, passion-filled moments, he pulled away

"There is something else I want to ask you." he said, sounding even less self-assured than before.

She whined from the absence of his lips, but nodded.

"As you said before, the odds are against us. Chances are we will not survive this war. Don't interrupt me, please, you know it's true." he said when she opened her mouth to protest, "When I look at the future, I see darkness. I might not have the foresight of my mother, but even a blind man could see this. Not only our lives, but the very fate of Yggdrasil hangs in the balance. I don't know if I can face that darkness. Not alone."

"You're not alone. I will always be on your side. For ever and ever. Until death claims us."

"Wait, wait, you got it all wrong. Or maybe I got it wrong. Could be, but I thought the vows came later, during the ceremony."

"Loki, what are you trying to say?"

"What I'm trying to say is..." He got down on one knee and pulled a small black box out of one of his pocket dimensions. Inside the box was a golden ring with a huge emerald.

"Sif Tyrsdottir, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but I had a crazy month, and I completely forgot about this fic. I don't know how much of you were still waiting for an update, but this one's for you ;) Kudos to you for your patience. I hope that I will be able to update on a more regular base soon, but that remains to be seen. Rest assured to all of you who still want to know how it ends, you will. 
> 
> I must admit, it felt good to write an somewhat emotional, insecure Loki again, even for a short bit. It reminds me of the first few chapters. I had so much fun writing those, it felt so natural. Emotional Loki is by far my favorite, if only because we can see glimps of it in the Thor films, and Tom Hiddleston is such a great actor that you really feel sorry for Loki. But I can't go back to the Loki of the first chapters, because the events of the movies have changed him, hardened him, scarred him. But I like to believe that the emotional Loki is still in there somewhere (as you can see in TDW) and perhaps we will see more glimpses of him, both in future films and this fic.
> 
> To all of you who still read this, thanks for your continued support.
> 
> As always; Like what you read; leave a comment and/or give Kudos. Your support is appreciated.


	32. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I owned ANY of these characters, this stuff would be canon, so don't bother asking.

Loki's heart was pounding in his chest. This was it. The moment that both excited him and filled him with dread. He had thought about this for a long time. Well, not thought, exactly,  _fantasized_ would be more correct. Ever since he was a kid, he imagined himself being married to Sif. Then, when he discovered she had feelings for Thor, he locked them away, for it pained him to even think about it. But then they had gotten together, and he allowed himself to hope again. At some point, it wasn't fantasizing any more, he was actually thinking about it. By then he was sure of his love for her, and her love for him. It seemed natural. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and after all that time, he had good hopes she wanted that too. But that hope was brutally shattered when he found her in the forest with Thor, on that accursed day. He felt so stupid afterwards. He even had a ring, a white one, because Sif was so good and beautiful and pure that no other colour would do her justice. The stone was a heart-shaped green diamond. Well, it was a diamond when he was finished with it. Originally, it had been a small, heart-shaped stone that Sif found in their clearing and had given to him. After weeks of studying, he had found a way to turn it into a diamond. He was going to propose soon when he found out. On the next day, after Thor's announcement,  he had mounted his horse and rode the poor beast to exhaustion, deep into the mountains of Asgard. He climbed to the top of a large waterfall and looked out in front of him. There was Nothing. He was standing at the Edge, the outer rim of Asgard. The waterfall cascaded into the Nothingness. It was a place of roughness and beauty. Just like a certain warrior godess that he thought loved him, but who had used him, played him and ultimately discarded him. He cry was torn from his throat, a terrible scream of pain and grief, and he fell on his knees, head slumped in defeat. He did not know how long he sat there, tears falling down his cheeks, his eyes red from crying, his shirt wet from the tears that kept streaming down his face. All the while, the edge seemed to call out to him, wanting him to surrender to its cold embrace. He did not remember moving, but suddenly, he was at the edge.

_"Come, Loki."_ it called, " _I can end your pain. I can end your suffering. Just let go. Let go and everything will be fine. You will know no pain, no suffering, no heartache. You will no nothing. Come, Loki. Accept my embrace._

He stood up, and shuffled toward the edge. All he had to do was to lean forward, and all the pain would go away, just like the voice promised. He took a deep breath, pulled a small black box out of his pocket, opened it and retrieved the ring. It was still white, but somehow it had lost its sparkle, at least to him. He closed his fist around it and threw it with all his might into the Nothingness. For a few seconds, it twinkled in the starlight, and then it was gone for good.

After a while, he turned around, climbed down, mounted again and rode back to the city. He walked into his mother on the way to his room. She asked what was the matter with him, for he was paler than usual, and hollowed out like never before. Then she mentioned that the Lady Sif was looking for him, and could not help but notice the lack of reaction at Sif's name. Normally, when you mentioned Sif around Loki, he would immediately brighten up, and sometimes, when he thought no one was watching, a smile unlike any other would lit up his face. Now he said in a cold, detached tone that she had never heard or hoped to ever hear on him before that he would talk to her in the morrow. Frigga wanted to leave it at that, disappointed as she was, but before she walked away, she did ask where he had been the past three weeks.

After then, he cursed and kicked himself every time he caught himself thinking about Sif of fantasizing about her being his wife. She had betrayed him, after all. Sure, she never claimed to love him, nor had he ever said that he did, but it was pretty obvious. That meant she knew it would hurt his feelings, knew that it would cause him pain, but she went ahead anyway. She was not worthy of being his wife. She was not worthy of being his friend. She was a warrior, nothing more, nothing less. Of course, she remained one of Thor's companions, so there was no avoiding her. The fact that she was actively searching him out did not help either. She was determined to regain their friendship, at the least. His cold, detached demeanor he had against her hurt her again and again, but no matter how much he rejected her, she never gave up. Even when he had managed to get Thor banished, and she was certain he was behind it, she was still trying to help him, trying to understand him, trying to regain their lost friendship. He had hoped that the Destroyer would have put an end to that, and if not that, than certainly New York. He hated that he still harboured feelings for her, and that she still thought they could fix their problems. When she had confronted him in his cell afterwards, he was less sure of her. He had thought she had tried to regain his friendship (or love, as she claimed) because she felt guily about what happened, and how that was somehow her fault. But after our conversation, I began to doubt.  _What if she is really sorry about what happened? What if she means it? What if she loves me?_ And, despite his every effort to squash that hope, it had festered in his heart ( _infernal organ),_ took root and began to grow. Her reacion when she found him on the throne confirmed his hopes and dreams. She really did love him. He was sure of it. Well, he strongly believed it. That was good enough.

And once again, the thought of marriage returned. After the attack on Asgard, he was sure. He was going to marry that woman. She was not getting away from him this time. He was not letting her. But uncertainty still gnawed on him. He had to tell someone. Fandral, Volstagg and Hogun were out of the question. Fandral would not stop teasing him, and then he would have to kill him, and clean up the bloodspatters. It wasn't worth it.  _If it was worth it, I would have done it a long time ago,_ he smirked. Volstagg could not keep a secret if his life depended on it and Hogun, well, Hogun always made him very uncomfortable, with his dead eyes and expressionless face. For he moment he thought about telling Heimdall, and he shuddered. 

In the end, he confided in Astrid. He only knew the girl for little over a month, but she had managed to conquer a large piece of his heart. She was crazy about him as well, and she liked Sif very much. When he told her, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly like only little girls can do, and she made him promise her that she would be a flower girl and that she could wear a pretty dress. Now, with his little angel's blessing, he felt like he was ready to propose. But then, he thought against it. He could not marry her. Well, he could, but he could not give her the grand royal wedding she deserved, because, well, he was supposed to be dead, and she could not bloody well marry Odin. Also, it would have pained her to not have Thor at her wedding. Thor was a close friend, and she loved him dearly. And if he was a  _little_ honest, he wanted Thor there as well. Not that he would ever admit it, of course. So he decided to wait. But after their little counsil, he thought about how slim their chances for survival were, and he would be damned if he left this life not married to the woman he loved. That's why he was down on one knee, the ring ready in his hand, looking up at her expectingly.

Now, Loki would not be Loki if he had not meticiously planned every small detail of how this situation could turn out. He thought he had figured out every possible reaction she could have. He pictured her happily accepting his proposal, and than he would stand, sweep her up in his arms, mash their lips together in a fiery battle of tongues and than he would slide the ring on her finger. He imagined her with both hands clasped above her mouth, tears rolling over her cheeks and just  _nodding,_ because no matter how hard she tried, she would never be able to find the right words. He had even pictured her laughing at him, asking him if he lost his wits and asking why she would ever want to marry him. He did not like that thought, not at all, but it was still a possibility. But he had not imagined this.

Sif went white from shock. Not being able to say anything, she picked up the box from his hands and held it before her like it was the body of a small girl found it a village butchered by trolls. Her lips started to tremble, tears start to fill her eyes and were soon flowing freely down her chin. Then, she looked him in the eyes and said; "I can't! Sorry!" and she stormed off, the box falling out of her hand. The ring fell out and rolled against his knee. The door closed with a large bang and he heard her running away. He wanted to go after her, but he couldn't. Shouldn't.

_Rejected! Again! Alone! Again! Forever! But she loved me! Clearly she doesn't! Shut up! Why should I? You don't know her like I do! I know she's a prissy little bitch that cares only about herself and uses you because she can't Thor. That's not true, she loves me, she said so herself. She said no! She likes me! Nobody likes you, they tolerate you. Shut up... I hate you... didn't I tell you to go away? Yes you did. Then, why don't you sod of? Because, my dear Loki, you are to much fun... have I ever told you I like you? I hate you... I wish you would never come back! Tough luck, I'm part of you, remeber.... you can't lock me way forever, Loki...I will find you, and we will be together once more._

He quelled the voices in his head, and had to supress a wail of agony that he felt was coming up his throat. But before he could open his mouth, the door opened. He got up.

"Sif, I'm sorry if I..." His mouth snapped shut when he saw long strands of blond hair appearing in his view. "What do you want, Thor?" he sighed exasperatelty.

"What have you done?" Thor asked sharply, and his voice was so stern that Loki was intimidated for a second. That did not last long, however.

"What are you talking about? I have done nothing. No mischief, no lies, no..." He could not finish his sentence because Thor shoved him against the wall, his face an inch from Loki's.

"I want to know", he said in a deadly low voice, "what you have done to upset Sif so! I have never seen her quite like this. She was crying like she has never cried before, and only one person could put her in such a state, and that person is you. You are my brother, and I love you, but if you have hurt her I swear to Yggdrasil that I'll make sure you are properly dead this time."

Anger coursed through Loki's veins and with an outburst of Seiðr Thor was thrown off him. "I have done nothing wrong, you ignorant oaf. No insults, no lies. I just...." he trailed off. He did not want to say it to Thor, not yet. Not before he had a chance to talk to Sif. Thor, however, was not giving up.

"Well," he huffed, "clearly you have done  _something_ for her to behave the way she did. Tell me!"

"No!"

"Loki!" Thor said warningly, gripping Mjolnir for added threat.

"I have done nothing wrong. I refuse to be examined like some common criminal." Loki yelled.

"Loki, would you please tell me what happened? Sif is in a very emotional state right now. I don't want her to do anything she might regret. If you just tell me what happened, I might be able to help."

"Fine, fine." Loki huffed "If you truly want to know." Thor nodded. "Well, I kind of...  _proposed_ to her."

"You did  _what?"_ Thor asked incredulously. Loki was annoyed at the disbelieve in his voice. Was it really that hard for someone to imagine that he was in love with a woman and wanted to spend the rest of his life with said woman?

"I proposed, Thor. You know what that is? It's when you realize 'hey, I really like this person. I want to spend the rest of my life with her/him.' Then, if she/he says yes, you marry, you have a grand party, probably lots of children and live happily ever after. Heard of it?" Loki drawled sarcastically. Thor rolled his eyes.

"I know what a proposal is, Loki. I just never figured... well,  _you_ and.... well..."

"Sif?" he finished for Thor

"Well, yes."

"Well, I have loved her for a very long time, and she loves me. By Hela, I have wanted to marry her ever since I was a little boy, before I even fell in love with her. And with everything going on, and with the future so uncertain, I just thought..." he was cut off when Thor pulled in a bonecrushing hug. Loki was pretty sure he could  _hear_ his spine snap.

"Oh brother, congratulations. I'm so happy for you. For the both of you. This is truly wondrous news. I... wait a minute. If you proposed to her, why was she running away crying?"  _Oh good, he gets it. Forget anything I might have said about mental progress. Still the same ignorant thickheaded oaf as always._

_And you love him for it,_ a teasing voice in his head said.

_Shut up._  


"She said 'no', Thor. That's why she ran away."

"Oh!" Thor said, and he looked slightly crestfallen. "Why?"

"If I knew, I would not be standing here having this conversation with you, would I? I was down on one knee, holding out the ring, pledging my eternal love. She looked like she had seen a ghost, said that she was sorry but could not marry me and bolted. I was about to go after her when you came in."

"Then why didn't you follow her instead of waiting here, talking to me?"  _Really?_

"Well, as much as I would love blasting you through the door, you were pretty much in my face, remember?"

"Right, sorry for that. But don't sit their idly. Go get her back." The first sensible thing he said in the entire conversation. Loki nodded and walked towards the door when it flew open and Fandral entered. Loki groaned in annoyance.  


"Soooo sorry for the disturbance, but I just saw Sif, and she was crying. Thought she could use some cheering up, but then I remembered she has a boyfriend. So it's your duty to take care of her."  _You are soooo lucky that killing you would be such a bother afterwards, otherwise there would be nothing left of Fandral the Dashing but a stain on the floor._ "She seemed in an awful mood? Might I ask what His Higness has done to upset her so?" Loki glared daggers at the man, but it was Thor who answered.

"He proposed to her?"

"Really? And she fled. That's not normal. No, wait, fleeing when Loki asks you to marry him IS normal for any normal person, but I always thought that if there was one person who could put op with his craziness and his murdrous tendencies, it would be Sif. Guess I was wrong." There was a big smirk on his face, but it faded pretty quick when he saw just how close Loki was of punching him in the face

"Get. Out. Of. My. Way." Loki gritted out, and Fandral almost jumped aside to let him pass. He changed back into the Allfather's form and left in search of Sif. He could just hear Fandral complain to Thor.

"Since when did Loki become so scary?"

****

"Lady Sif? I would like to have a word with you." he knocked on er bedroom door, but the door did not open.  _Maybe she's out? Or most likely, she's just ignoring me, hoping that I would go away._ He could easily blast the door out of it's hinges, but decided that the more subtle way was the way to go. After procuring the key from one of the servants, he gently opened the door. He could hear no crying, not even breathing. Nothing moved. She wasn't here. 

He went to check the training grounds next. Beating objects or other people to a pulp always had a cathartic effect on Sif. But she wasn't there either. Nor was she in the armory, in the bathhouse, in the Great Hall, in the Dining Chambers, nor her favorite inn. When the evening fell, he was close to calling of the search, when he remembered one spot he had not yet searched. _No! She wouldn't go back there, would she?_

A few minutes later, he was walking down a familiar path to a familiar clearing. The track was recently trodden, although he was pretty sure that no one had used it in decades. This confirmed his suspicions. Sif was here. When he reached the clearing, he could see a familiar form sitting on the ground, chin on her knees, gazing at the stars like they had done as children. Without a word, he sat down next to her. He was unsure what to say. "I haven't been here in the longest time." Loki could kick himself. _Why did you say that? Why do you always have to be so stupid?_

"Neither have I. Not since..." her voice trailed off and a tear rolled down her cheek. Loki decided, then and there, that he had enough. Sif had already shed more than enough tears for him to last a lifetime.

"Listen, Sif, if you don't want to marry me, that's ok. Because you don't have to, if you don't want. I'll love you all the same."

"It's not that I don't want to marry you." she sobbed, "there is nothing I would like more in this world than to marry you,..."

"But?" he dreaded the reply.

"I can't. I'm sorry, Loki, I simply can't." she cried even harder.

"It's OK." he hugged her to him, "I understand."

"No, you don't. At all. You're too good enough for me and I'm not good enough for you."

"You're right. I don't understand you, at all. So make me, Sif. Make me understand. Please?"

"IT'S BECAUSE OF THAT!" she yelled, and she pointed at a bush. The exact same bush where he had... Suddenly, everything fell into place. Why she would think that she was not good enough for him. Why she thought that she could not marry him.

"Listen to me, Sif. The past is behind us. We have to look at the present and the future. I have forgiven you. I love you."

"I haven't forgiven myself. How could I? After all I have done to you. You were so sweet and kind. You loved me and I loved you. And I threw it all away. I destroyed our friendship, our love, any possibility that we could have a future together. I have hurt you. Badly. How can you even stand to look me in the eye after everything I have done to you. I deserved the indifference and the hate you have given me. You could not have hated me more than I hated myself. I still hate myself for doing that to you. It's my fault that you became so jealous of Thor. Everything that happened since then is my fault. Jotunheim? My fault! Thanos? My fault! I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve your friendship. I don't even deserve your acknowledgement. How could you even thing about marrying someone who betrayed you so heinously? You should just leave me be, Loki. Forget about me. Give your heart to someone who is more worthy of it than I am."

"Sif, that is by far the most stupid thing you have ever said." She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes. "Look, I'm going to be honest with you. What you did to me hurt me, I won't deny that. Seeing you with Thor was the worst moment in my life, and there are not many things you could have done to hurt me deeper, especially because you did it in our spot. I was really angry at you, for a long time. When you came to me after breaking up with Thor, I did not believe you. I thought you were just trying to use me again like I thought you used me before, to forget Thor. But that does not mean that everything I have done is your fault. I thing I would have smuggled those Frost Giants into Asgard anyway. There was jealousy in that, but that jealousy preceded your 'betrayal'. Mostly I did it because he would have been a terrible king. In fact, I would still do it. Well, not the whole 'destroy Jotunheim' thing, but Thor managed to change for the better while he was on Midgard. But we are getting of topic. It wasn't until you confronted me in my cell that I began to believe that you still had genuine feelings for me. The day you chose to believe me and support me was the day I was fully convinced of your sincerity. It was also the day that I forgave you for what you did here that day. I knew you regretted it. I knew you repented. I knew you were punished for it. You have suffered because of your love, especially when I lost my way. I love you, Sif, and I forgive you. According to me, that day has never existed."

"But Loki..."

"If anyone is not good enough for the other, it's me. I'm a monster. I'm a killer. I tried to destroy one race and tried to enslave another. I was in a dark pit with no escape. But you, you gave me light. You gave me help. You _healed_ me. You helped me realize what's truly important in life. You are my ray of light in these dark days. You are my, as Midgardians would say, Guardian Angel. I don't deserve YOU. I don't deserve your love. Never have. But somehow you were willing to give it to me, and it was the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me."

"You are not a monster, Loki, so stop saying that. You are just a man caught in situations that no one should ever have to deal with. You made a few bad decisions, true, but you have been punished for those, because you repented. I have forgiven you a long time ago. I love you."

"Then I guess we're both not good enough for each other." he smirked, and the ghost of a smile appeared on her face. 

"It appears so." she said softly.

"I can live with that!"

"So can I." After a few seconds, she made up her mind. "Ask me again!"

"What?"

"Ask me again."

Loki got down on one knee again, held up the ring and said: "Sif Tyrsdottir, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

"Yes, yes I do." she squealed and threw herself on him, kissing him fervently. And for one moment, one glorious moment, everything was right in the universe. No Thanos, no Infinity Gauntlet, just a man, a woman and their love for each other.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must say, I had so much fun writing this chapter. A break from the main story arc to dig a little deeper into our favorite couple's love story. I originally wanted to make Sif's hesitation just a fragment in another chapter, but I decided against it. When I re-read the story so far (I recommend it to any writer out there, VERY useful to avoid any contradictions or other mistakes) I noticed that I had kind of skimmed over a very important talk, namely Sif's cheating. And here I was planning the wedding. You can't have a wedding (or a future, for that matter) with someone if such an important issue remains undiscussed and therefore unsolved. So I decided to turn it into a full chapter, and add some fun Loki-Thor and Loki-Fandral interactions. Another thing that I liked is that Loki isn't the only one who feels insecure and uncertain from time to time.
> 
> Anyway, this chapters is for all you loyal readers who keep reading this story. You guys are my muse. Your comments and kudos give me the strenght I need to continue this story.  
> Thank you for reading, don't forget to comment of give kudos if you like this story and/or haven't done so already.  
> See you soon.
> 
> LokiGodOfMischief signing off
> 
> PS; if you haven't figured it out already (wich I'm sure you have, because you are probably very clever) the contradicting thoughts that Loki has when he's kind off arguing against himself are some split-personality shenanigans. I recently watched Lord of the Rings again, so you'll probably know where I drew my inspiration from (Gollum!)


	33. Everywhere and Knowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what? Never mind. You get the picture

He could hardly believe it.  _She said yes. She ACTUALLY said yes. Sif Tyrsdottir is going to be my wife._ This was the happiest moment of his life. Now, if only Sif would stop kissing him for a second so he could put the ring on her finger.  _Perhaps she does not want to marry me at all,_ he mused,  _considering she's trying her very best to smother me to death._ But he could hardly complain. Death by kissing Sif, he could hardly imagine a more joyous end. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, they had to breath some air sometimes, so when they both parted, panting heavily, he took the opportunity to slip the ring on her finger.

"It looks beautiful, Loki." she managed to wheeze out, trying to catch her breath.

"Yes, well... you wearing it enhances it's beauty a thousandfold." he said, and to his embarrasment, a blush began to creep up his cheeks, giving the normally pale flesh a pink hue. Sif, however, was beaming at him. She grabbed him by his collar and yanked him down for another passionate kiss. He allowed himself to get lost in her embrace and...

Suddenly he heard the sound of a snapping branch. He broke away from the kiss. Sif looked at him quizzically and was about to say something, but he put his index finger on her lips. And then he heard it; hushed voices whispering to each other. He looked back at Sif, and when he saw her exasperated smile, he knew she heard them too. The whispering came from the bushes. He grinned mischievously at Sif, who smirked back. He then proceeded to cloack themselves in shadows, and they crept silently towards them. The voices were much clearer now.

"I told you she would say yes. Now pay me my 50 gold coins." Volstagg demanded

"That was not the bet, you ass. We wagered werether they would end up together or not, not if she accepted his proposal." Fandral argued hotly.

"They are getting married, Fandral. They WILL end up together. Now pay up." Volstagg said impatiently.

"But they're not married yet, are they. A lot can happen between now and then. Maybe she will come to her senses, for example."

"Will you two be quiet?" Thor whispered. "You two are talking loud enough to wake the dead. You don't want them to hear us, don't you? Do you even want to know what Loki would do to us if he found out?" Both men shaked their heads vehemently. "Ok, then  _shut up,_ so I can keep watching." He turned around. "Wait, where are they? They were right there a moment ago. Where did they go?"

"Perhaps they went back to the palace?" Volstagg suggested.

"No, then we should have seen them leave. Can't be that."

"Perhaps they are having some private time in the bushes." Fandral winked.

"Fandral, that's my younger brother and my friend you are slandering. I don't even want to think about it."

"Or perhaps," Sif cut in, her voice icy, "they want to know why you are sitting here, spying on a couple in the middle of a private affair." Loki lifted the spell and the three of them fell silent, shock evident upon their faces. Thor was the first one to find his voice again.

"Sif, we are so sorry. We did not want to interrupt, but we were so curious, so we followed Loki, and..." he looked away ashamed. 

"So you decided to spy on OUR MOMENT? That was not meant for any of your eyes." Her eyes were filled with rage, and Loki knew he had to act, and he put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"Sif, normally, I would have unleashed unimaginable horrors on these three for their trespassing, but right now, I'm far too happy for that. So consider yourselves lucky, gentlemen, for I am getting married."

They all jumped to their feet and congratulated them, Thor going so far as pulling hem in another one of his massive bear hugs.  _I really wish he would stop doing that,_ he mused, but albeit stiffly returned the hug.

"Congratulations, brother. I am sure that you and the Lady Sif will be very happy together." Thor beamed when he released him and hugged Sif.

"Unfortunately, my friends, your trespassing cannot go unpunished. I am in a rather good mood, so I think I will be mercifull. Sif, a moment please?" He took Sif apart and explained his plan. At the end, both were smirking evilly. 

"Thor, I want to ask you something, and I can't stress enough that I can't believe I am actually asking you this, but for reasons unclear even to me, I want you to be my best man. Sure, you are a brainless oaf, often impetious, sometimes arrogant and thick as a brick, but you believed in me when few others would, including myself. You may not be my brother in blood, but in any other way that matters, I suppose. Do you accept this?"

"I would be honored, brother." Thor bowed his head and put his fist on his heart.

"Good, then you will oversee all preparations for the ceremony and make sure everything runs smoothly. As for you two..." he turned towards Fandral and Volstagg. "You will also be required to play a small role in the ceremony. It appears my darling Sif has some problems finding enough bridesmaids, so you two will have to do. And don't worry, " he winked at them, "I will pay for the dresses."

****

After a few days, Thor was seriously considering asking Loki if he could be a bridesmaid as well, because planning was not really one of his traits and Loki was exceedingly difficult to work with. Also, they had very limited time, with a war looming at the horizon and certain death waiting just around the corner. So they decided to do the wedding in a week. Luckily, it was to be a small ceremony, not the grand royal wedding that was due for a prince of Asgard. Only a selected few were invited. 

But not only they had a wedding to plan, but also a realm to rule. Loki still kept court as Odin, Thor to his right and Sif to his left, his closest advisors. Most petitioners still came with petty disputes, but some had actually something interesting to say. He had just dealt with another couple of angry peasants when a man approached. Loki recognized him as a member of the Royal Espionage Corps, providing Asgard with information from all over the galaxy. 

"My king, I am here to deliver my mission report.  I have some information you might be interested in, but perhaps this could be better discussed in private?"

"Very well, sir. Follow me! Thor, Lady Sif, accompany me." he stood up, leaning a bit on Gungnir like Odin did and they went to the council chambers. He sat down a gestured at the rest to do the same. 

"So," he said, "what is your news? Where were you stationed?"

"Knowhere, sir."

"Nowhere?" Thor asked, "what kind of nonsense is that?"

"Knowhere, not nowere, Thor. It's a mining station, located inside the decapitated head of a Celestial. It's a lawless place, a haven for criminals and outlaws because of the lack of regulations. The only group who has a semblance of control is owner of the mines,  the Tivan Group, controlled by Taneleer Tivan, also known as the Collector. He is one of the Elders of the Universe and has the largest collection of rarities in the galaxy."

"I remember. You sent me and Volstagg to him, to give him the Aether for safekeeping." Sif said while leading the others to the other side of the room, so that the young man could not hear them.

"What? You gave the Aether away? Have you lost your mind? You witnessed its power. You saw what it did to Jane. You saw how dangerous it is." Thor walked up towards him and poked him on the chest accusingly.

"And that's precisely why I chose to store it somewhere else. The Aether is an Infinity Stone, as is the Tesseract. It is unwise to have more than one in your possession, unless you want to attract unwanted attention."

"And this 'Collector', you trust him? What's to stop him from using it's power?"

"I don't trust him. That's why I sent spies to Knowhere, to keep an eye on Tivan. And now one of them has returned with news, and we have been ignoring him completely. Now, boy, give us your report."

"I'm afraid I bring ill tidings, my lords. Knowhere has been attacked, and Tivan's residence destroyed, although that happened before the attack, if I remember correctly."

Loki had to resist the urge to swear loudly. _Thanos! If he has found the Aether, it will be nigh impossible to stop him. NO! No! Calm down, Loki. Don't always assume the worst. Let the boy explain._ "Tell us everything that happened. From the beginning."

"Well, it happened a few weeks ago. We were keeping an eye on Tivan's residence when suddenly, a very peculiar group of people arrived. Said they had an appointment with Tivan. Strangest group of people I have ever laid eyes on; a Midgardian that goes by the name of Peter Quill, a green-skinned woman with red hair called Gamora, a raccoon, a primitive and a tree. They said they had something for Tivan. Now, I had seen the green-skinned woman before, because she had visited Tivan not a few weeks earlier. But the receptionist told them that Tivan would send someone to them in his own time. So they went to have a drink in The Boot of Jemiah, the local bar. I decided to follow them. While in the bar, they got in some sort of a quarrel, but just before it came to blows, Tivan sent his assistant, Carina to fetch them. Not all of them went with her. The brute, who had stomped off angy earlier went to the communications center. Now, in the meantime, the others had entered the Tivan's residence, and I saw the Midgardian take an orb out of his sack. Tivan opened it and inside was a small purple gem. Now, I could not hear what they were saying, but suddenly, Carina grabbed the gem, and then there was a giant explosion that knocked me back. When I regained my bearings, Tivan's collections was mostly destroyed. Tivan and his guest appeared largely unharmed, but Carina was gone. But before I had time to check on your package, an army arrived. They army was lead by a Kree called Ronan . He must have been after whatever the group has brought, because they fled when they saw him approaching. Well, the primitive stayed and fought this Ronan, but was easily defeated. The Kree then proceeded to dump him in a pool filled with yellow liquid. He would have drowned if not for the tree. Now, during their fight, I saw several mining pods take off, and they were pursued by several enemy ships. There was a battle outside of Knowhere. Whatever it was that Ronan wanted, he must have gotten it, because they shot one of the pods out of the sky and left. When they did, I returned to Tivan's residence. I saw him sitting on the ground, defeated, drinking some green liquid and talking to what appeared to be a large duck. It appeared that his collection was largely destroyed, but I saw your package, still intact. Whoever it was that had attacked Knowhere, they weren't there for your package."

 _This is bad news. This is very bad news._ He raked his hand through his hair and sighed. Then he turned towards the spy and managed a weary smile. "You did good, telling this to me in person. You must be very tired. I'll have a room prepared for you. Take a few days off and recover a bit."

The spy bowed and left, leaving Loki alone with Thor and Sif.

"So the Aether is safe. That's a relief." Thor said.

"Now that I know that the Collector is planning to collect the Infinity Gems for himself, I'd hardly call that safe. But there's nothing that can be done right now. He suffered a major blow when his collection blew up, so it will take him some time to recover, so I think the Aether is reasonably safe for now. The fact that Ronan did not search for it when he was there makes me think that Thanos does not know the Collector has it. That's a small relief."

"Wait, this Ronan works for Thanos?" Sif asked.

 "Ronan the Accuser is, or better, was a high-ranking Kree militaristic leader. A radical and fanatical, he opposes everyone that dares to stand against the Kree. Therefore, he harbors quite some resentment against the Nova Empire, the ancient foe of the Kree Empire. When the Kree signed a peace treaty with the Nova Empire, effectively ending the war, Ronan broke away from the Empire, saying that they had betrayed the Kree. He swore that he would not honor the treaty and that he would destroy Xandar, headquarters of the Nova Empire. The Empire cut all ties with him, saying that he is a rogue, working for himself, so they had no accountability for his actions. That's where the official story ends. But my sources heard rumors that he might have joined up with Thanos. In exchange for his allegiance and his help in obtaining the Infinity Stones, Thanos would destroy Xandar for Ronan. If the spy said that Ronan arrived with an army, the only logical explanation is that he joined up with Thanos. The fact that Gamora is involved only confirms my suspicions."

"Gamora? Who's Gamora?" Thor asked.

"The green-skinned female with red hair that the spy told us about. She's Thanos' adoptive daughter, but the hatred that his 'daughters' bear towards their father is widely known in the galaxy. If Ronan is working for Thanos, and hunting after her, it's likely that she switched sides. To whom, I do not know."

"How can you be so sure that this woman is Gamora. Surely there are other green-skinned, red-haired aliens?"

"Actually, no. Their race, the Zehoberi came under attack by Thanos years ago and they were extinct. Only Gamora survived, because Thanos spared her, and then forced her to work for him. He does that with all his adoptive daughters. That's why they hate him so. My guess is that they found what Ronan was looking for and probably tried to sell it to Tivan to keep it out of Ronan's, and therefore Thanos' hands."

"Do you think that this "orb" is another Infinity Stone?"

"I am certain of it. The way the spy described the stone, a small purple gem with enormous power, it can't be anything else. Judging by the description, I'd say it's the Power Stone. When that girl, Carina, grabbed it, she did not just disappear, she exploded. A body such as hers is not capable of handling such power. Even we would not be strong enough. The Aether, yes, but that's because it is designed to have a host, and it would consume us after a time. If I had tried to channel the energy of the Tesseract through my body, as Carina tried with the Orb, I would have been destroyed as well. Both Ronan and Thanos however are powerful enough to wield the Orb. If Thanos has the Orb, there is pretty much nothing that can stop him. But..."

"But what?"

"Ronan, although honorless, does what he does because he thinks it would benefit the Kree empire. He acts because he beliefs it's in their best intersest. Giving the Orb to Thanos would not be in the Kree's best interest, as it wasn't in my interest to give away the Tesseract. Every servant of Thanos knows that once he fulfills his assignment, their lives are worth nothing. Thanos would kill them without a second thought. Ronan is not stupid. He will realise this. He will keep the Orb for himself. With it, he can destroy Xandar, the whole Nova Empire and even Thanos. Why give away the most powerful weapon in the galaxy to someone that could potentially use it against you. He will keep the Orb."

"But after he has destroyed the Nova Empire, what's to say that he will not turn his attention this way?" Sif suggested. Thor was sitting on a chair, hands in his hair, trying to absorb all the new information.

"That is what I fear, too. Ronan might not be Thanos, but he is just as ruthless and warlike as the Mad Titan. But for now, we can do nothing. I will seek contact with my agents on Xandar to discover Ronan's plans. If he has the Orb, Xandar will be his first target."

****

They always told him it was normal for the groom to be nervous on the day of his wedding, but he was pretty sure most bridegrooms did not have to deal with an impending galactic apocalyps. If nothing else, surely that was a job for the best man. It had been a week since he sent out messages to his contacts on Xandar and other Nova planets, but so far, no message had returned. He wondered if he was too late, that Xandar was a pile of rubble and the Nova Empire had collapsed. Ronan could be on his way to Asgard right now. He was pacing nervously in his chamber, still in Odin's form. He would only take on his normal appearence right before the ceremony, after he had installed his repelling wards.  _If I were to be discovered on this day, before the wedding._ He shuddered. He walked over to his table and poured himself a cup of wine. He drained it in one gulp, then poured himself another. He could not even taste the wine, so he flung the cup against the wall. Then, he heard knocking on the door. After he gave his permission, the door swung open. He expected it to be Thor, but it was just an Einherjar.

"My apologies for the interruption, my king, but the Lady Eir would like to have a word with you." He grimaced.

"Best not to keep her waiting, then." He grumbled with Odin's voice. Normally, a king is not so easily summoned, but he knew from observing Odin that his father had a deep respect for the Elder Healer, and always came when she asked him to. Plus, he had still time, and it could prove to be a useful distraction.

He walked next to the guard in complete silence. His whole posture made it clear that he did not want to engage in conversation, so the guard wisely kept his mouth shut. When they reached the Healing Rooms, he dismissed the guard and entered.

"My Lady Eir." he inclined his head respectfully, "you wanted to see me?" The old healer smiled wearily. He could see in her eyes that she had not slept in days, but she looked as radiant as ever.

"My King," she said, and bowed, "I have something to show you. After that skirmish in the marketplace two weeks ago, the Einherjar moved all the bodies to this healing room, so they could be examined and to see if there was one still alive, so he could be interrogated. Sadly, none of them survived. The Fire Giants' and Frost Giants' bodies were disposed, but there was another body, a creature unlike anything I had ever seen, so I kept it, for study. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Look." 

She drew away the blanket from one of the tables. Under it was the Other's body.

"I could not discern the race this creature hailed from, but most likely it's extinct. This creature is old. The body shows clear signs of torture. The eyes are missing and are most likely forcibly removed. This creature must have seen pain beyond imagining. But what most intrigues me is that it should have been dead almost three weeks  _before_ the attack on Asgard was launched. Look at it's neck."

Loki leaned in and observed said neck. "It appears to have been snapped."

"Indeed. There are signs that it was twisted a full 180 degrees. That should have killed him. But somehow it did not. As I see it, there are two possible explanations; one: he was resurrected somehow, or two: this creature has some sort of healing ability."

"I don't know, but neither options sounds very appealing to me. I'll have the body removed and destroyed. Was that all?"

"Yes, my liege."

"In that case, I bid you a good day, Lady Eir." He left the healing room in a brisk pace, his mind so occupied with the Other that he did not see the advisor running towards him, until he almost knocked the poor man over.

"Ap- app- apologies, my king. I did not look where I went" the poor man stuttered. He sighed.  _Snivelling idiot. I knocked you over, remember?_ What power did Odin have over them that turned them from grown man into terrified fools instantly.

"Doesn't matter." he said grumpily, "you were looking for me, I assume?"

"Y-yes my liege." he said, sounding more confident now, "I have a message for you, my King. For your eyes only. I.." he was cut off when Loki snatched the letter out of his hand and dismissed him with a nod of his head. He quickly returned to his private quarters and opened the letter. It was encoded, of course, in case it fell into the wrong hands. But it was a fairly easy one to break, if you knew the keyword. He was done translating in a few minutes. He read and gasped. It read:

_A few weeks ago, the Nova Corps was approached by Peter Quill, also known as Star-Lord. He was accompanied by an army of Ravagers. He warned the Nova Corps that Xandar would be under immediate attack by Ronan the Accuser. Quill stated that Ronan had acquired immense power, and that they could not let him reach the ground. Despite the bounty on Quill's head, the Nova Prime decided to believe him. And indeed, pretty soon the Dark Aster appeared above Xandar. The Ravager fleet and the Nova Corps engaged it, the Nova fleet slowing it down by using a barrier. But then, after a while, there was an enormous purple explosion and it wiped out the entire Nova Fleet. The Dark Astar then began to descent quickly, only to be rammed by a ravager ship. It crashed, killing hundreds. Ronan, however, was not dead. He was going to use his hammer, infused with a purple orb, but then a primitive destroyed the hammer with some sort of firearm. The gem was grabbed by Quill, and the world around them was shut out by thick purple smoke. When the smoke cleared, Ronan was gone. Then, the leader of the Ravagers came and demanded the orb that contained the gem, but I saw Quill handing him another one. He later gave the orb to the Nova Prime, before he and his team, now called the Guardians of the Galaxy, took off._

He could breath again.  _Thanos does not have the Orb. Neither does Ronan. The Nova Corps has it. There are worse guardians, I suppose. Their fleet on Xandar is mostly destroyed, if this report is correct, but they have more ships, more men, and an Infinity Stone. Thanos will not attack them. The Nova Empire is strong, and it's at peace with the Kree. He won't go for them. Not when Asgard is but a shadow of it's former glory and enemies everywhere waiting to see the Realm Eternal go up in flames._

_But still, one less thing to worry about. For now._

*****

This was it. He still could not believe it. In a few minutes, he would be married to the Lady Sif.  _She chose me. She could have had any man in the Nine Realms, but she chose me._ For the first time in all his life, Loki felt like he was the luckiest man that has ever lived. But gods, was he nervous.

He was wearing his finest attire, green and gold and black, his magnificent horned helmet resting easy on his head. He had not used it since the Battle of New York, but it was still as impressive as ever. He looked good, he knew. But good enough for Sif? He tugged at his sleeve, and kept tugging until Thor laid a hand on his arm.

"Stop fidgeting, Loki. Everything will be just fine. You'll see." 

Thor, too, was in his finest armor, as was tradition. Hogun stood next to him, his grim face somehow looking slightly less grim today. He nodded once to Loki.  _He's here for Sif, not me. Fine. I can live with that._  he thought. He looked over to his right and saw two of the most adorable bridesmaids he had ever seen. Volstagg looked  _resigned,_ accepting his fate. Fandral, however, looked positively livid. Despite his nerves, he had to chuckle.

"You know, Fandral, I think you should wear dresses more often. They suit you!"

"Sod off." Fandral groaned, and he chuckled again. He looked at the room. It was a small hall, but it was more then adequate for all their guests. Only the people who knew that Loki was alive were invited, so it was just Heimdall ( _still strange)_ and the Avengers. He could hear Stark's voice loud and clear.

"If you told me a year ago that I would be at the wedding of the man who tried to conquer our world, I would have seriously doubted your sanity."

"For once, Stark,I agree with you. This is strange." Rogers responded.

"Are you sure that I can't just stick an arrow in his eye?" Barton whined against Romanoff.

"You tried before, remember, and he's still here. Plus, we will play nice for the moment."

"Fine!" Barton huffed, and for a few brief seconds, he was a little boy again, whining and complaining about everything.

"Sorry, Tash. I'll behave. I'm sorry"

He tuned out the rest of the conversations and stared at the door. Any second now, that door would swing open and she would come inside, followed by Astrid. But suddenly, he thought of his mother.  _She would have wanted to see this. She should have been here to see this. I should have been there to protect her._ He knew Jane felt guilty as well, but it was still his fault. He basically  _told_ that monster where he could find her. A tear rolled down his cheek. Thor looked at him and smiled ruefully.

"If she was here, she would have been proud. Proud that her son, for that is what you were to her, has found someone to love, someone to hold."

"She knew it. She knew it from the beginnng. She knew that I loved Sif. She always saw everything, no matter how hard you tried to hide it."

"She was a remarkable women."

"I miss her every day." Loki confessed.

"So do I" he pulled Loki in for a manly hug. "Look at us." he said, smiling, "adults for a long time, but finally mature. Mother would have been proud of us."

"She is proud of us." Thor nodded, and then the silence fell again. Loki looked at the door once more.  _Strange. They should be here right now._ He immediately scolded himself for overreacting. Perhaps there was a wardrobe malfunction, or another emergency.

_But what if she left us? What if she decided that she doesn't want to marry me anymore?_

_You mean if she came to her senses? I hope so_

_Shut up._

_Going to start this again, Loki?_

_No, I'm gonna ignore you._ He said, and tried to tune out the voice.

"They are gone for a long time." Thor observed. "I wonder what is taking them so long?"

"Beats me" Loki shrugged, "but I sure hope she's ok."

"I'm sure that everything is fine." Thor said reassuringly. 

When twenty minutes later, they still had not shown up.  _This is impossbile. This is taking too long._  He walked towards the door, ready to find Sif and Astrid when a voice stopped him. And it wasn't his lover's voice, nor the voice of his young protégé, not the voice of Heimdall, or anyone in thar room for that matter. Because the voice came out of the wall, the ceiling, the glass windows, the door. It was everywhere. Then suddenly, it boomed out loud and clear.

 

"LAUFEYSON!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but something called real live kept me very busy these last few weeks. But it's out there, and I'm glad. I tried to reconcile my story with that of the Guardians of the Galaxy, and for the most part, it fits. The Other posed a slight problem, because Ronan killed him, but in my story, he dies later, by the hand of the mighty Astrid. To avoid such problems in the future, I'll have to finish before the next Marvel movie is conquering the Silver Screen.
> 
> Anyway boys and girls, remember the comments and/or the kudos are greatly appreciated.


	34. Parley?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. OWE. NOTHING

_No, that voice, that can't be..._

"I KNOW YOU ARE THERE, LAUFEYSON! I CAN FEEL YOU! I KNOW YOU ARE LISTENING!"

Thor looked at him, shock evident upon his face, and he did not need to ask who it was, for the fear was evident in his brother's eyes. He was downright terrified, and looked like he was about to faint. When the voice began again, Thor saw that he cowered away. What had this thing, this  _monster_ done to his brother that it could reduce him to a quivering mess by the mere sound of his voice.

"PEOPLE OF ASGARD! UNBEKNOWNST TO YOU, YOU HARBOR A CRIMINAL WITHIN YOUR MIDST! A TRAITOR SO VILE THAT HIS NAME IS SPAT UPON BY ALL THE GALAXY. A MAN WHO BETRAYED HIS OWN FRIENDS, HIS OWN FAMILY, HIS OWN PEOPLE IN HIS QUEST FOR POWER. HE IS A MENACE TO EVERYONE, AND THE UNIVERSE WOULD BE WELL RID OF HIM. I, OF COURSE, AM TALKING ABOUT THE LIESMITH, THE WORLDSLAYER, BRINGER OF RAGNAROK, LOKI LAUFEYSON!"

When the voice died away, Loki could see the wedding guests looking at each other in confusement. He could also hear faint cries coming from the palace and from outside.  _So the secret is out. No more hiding now._ He wanted nothing more than to flee, right this instance, flee and never return to Asgard. But something kept him there.  _And where was Sif?_

"PEOPLE OF ASGARD, LISTEN TO ME! I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY. I AM MERELY ANOTHER VICTIM OF THE LIES OF THE GOD OF MISCHIEF. HE BETRAYED ME AS WELL, AND NO ONE BETRAYS THANOS. I WILL HAVE MY RETRIBUTION. BUT NOTHING HAS TO HAPPEN TO YOU! THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO END IN BLOODSHED. I AM NOT HERE TO FIGHT! ALL I WANT IS LOKI LAUFEYSON, WHO IS AN ENEMY TO US BOTH AND A THREAT TO THE ENTIRE GALAXY. HAS HE NOT PLOTTED TO HAVE HIS BROTHER BANISHED? HAS HE NOT BETRAYED THE TRUST YOU ALL PUT IN HIM? HAS HE NOT TRIED TO CONQUER AN INNOCENT WORLD, MERELY OUT OF SPITE? GIVE ME LAUFEYSON, AND I WILL LEAVE. DELIVER ME LAUFEYSON, AND LIVE! I GIVE YOU THREE HOURS TO DELIVER HIM TO ME ON THE BIFROST. IF HE ISN'T THERE, I WILL MARCH INTO YOUR CITY AND KILL EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD THAT STANDS IN MY WAY. YOU CHOOSE! THE DECISION IS YOURS!"

"Don't worry, brother, I won't let him take you!" Thor put his hand on Loki' s shoulder, only to be brushed off angrily.

"And what will you do about it, Thor?" Loki sneered, "those people are not loyal to me. They bear me no love. If I stepped outside, they would tear me apart, limb by limb, you know that!"

"What are you going to do then?" Rogers asked. The Avengers had stood up, the gravity of the situation evident to all.

"There is only one thing to do. I can't ask the people to die for me, so I have to surrender myself to Thanos. There is no other option."

"NO!" Thor bellowed, "I will NOT let you return to that monster, Loki. There has to be another way!"

"Not without hundreds, nay thousands of people dying. I won't do that, Thor. Enough have died because of me. No more." He sighed. Then, suddenly, he thought of something. "Wait!" slowly, a tentative smile crept on his face.  _The Tesseract. He won't expect that. The least I can do to amend my sins is to make sure that Thanos will haunt the galaxy no more. Maybe then, the people might remember my name with kindness._

But then, the voice boomed again. "LAUFEYSON! YOU HAVE HIDDEN IN THE SHADOWS FOR TOO LONG. IT'S TIME TO COME OUT AND FACE ME. WILL YOU FIND YOUR COURAGE? OR WILL YOU LET THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE DIE FOR YOU LIKE THE COWARD YOU ARE? FOR I KNOW YOU ARE A COWARD. I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, LAUFEYSON, AND FOUND IT WANTING. BUT COWARD OR NOT, YOU WILL COME TO ME BEFORE THE TIME RUNS OUT, I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU, AND BECAUSE I HAVE YOUR HEART IN THE PALM OF MY HAND. YOU HAVE THREE HOURS"

The voice died away, leaving only an eerie silence in its wake.  _I have your heart in the palm of my hand? What does he mean by that? What could make him so convinced that I would show up? He must have something to ensure that I would not flee and let the people pay the price. Something so precious that I would willingly give my life to see it returned._ And then, all the puzzle pieces fell into place.

"Oh no. No no no no NO!" He bellowed and ran out of the hall, not caring if anyone saw him. The secret was out anyway. The guards were suprised, but moved aside anyway, probably because of the murderous look in his eyes. He could hear the others following him, falling behind, but he did not care. When he rounded the corner, he saw that the door was splintered and lying out of its hinges. With a growing feeling of dread, he slowly entered the room, Gungnir raised, ready to blast any intruder straight to Helheim. But there was no one there. No one still breathing, at least. The corpses of 6 Frost Giants and 4 Fire Demons were lying on the ground, and blood was everywhere. But that's not why he sank to his knees in a wordless cry of terror.

A bloodied glave was lying between the corpses, next to a heap of torn clothing that was once a flower girl's dress.

****

"He has Sif?" Thor bellowed, his normal handsome face contorted in fury. He was pacing around the room, something he never did unless he was very stressed.Loki, on the other hand, was sitting on a chair, staring at his hands, as if they were somehow responsible for the whole situation.

"And Astrid too. Poor girl. I KNEW I should have distanced myself from them. Everywhere I go, bad things happen to good people."

"Stop it, Loki, that's not helping anybody. If you had told Sif to stay away from you for her own safety, what would she have said?"

_She would call me a fool, telling me that I should not take on the Nine Realms alone and that no matter what I would say or do, she would be at my side, because there is no place she would rather be then with me. Perhaps she is the fool. Loving me never ends well. Tell that to my mother._

Thor took his silence as proof that he was right. "See? She would have stayed. And Astrid, I confess I don't really know her, but if half the stories you have told me about her are true, she would be of the same opinion. But that's not important right now. The question is: how did they get into Asgard unnoticed?"

"I don't know!" he sighed, and raked his hands through his hair, his face scrunched up, trying desperately to make sense of it all.

 "I thought you used your Seiðr to warn you if events such as these occurred?"  _  
_

"I did! I don't understand. My wards should have alerted me of their presence. And if someone were to try and hide them from my spells, I had spells in place to detect that kind of magic. Basically, they should have registered any kind of alien magic. As he said those words, it dawned on him.

"Wich means he had help from someone in Asgard!" Thor finished for him. "But you said you caught the spy?"

"We did. Or, at least, we thought we did. Lorelei has the necessary skills and she has plenty of reasons to hate Asgard and to see us all burning alive. Plus, she was on Midgard before Sif apprehended her. She was trying to recruit an army of some sorts using her sorcery, but there may be other reasons. I heard from my sources in S.H.I.E.L.D that the scepter has disappeared from their possession. If my theory is correct, and it is in fact an Infinity Gem, she could have very well attempted to obtain it for Thanos. But the point is, she is incarcerated in the dungeons. She should still be there. She does not have the power to break out of one of those cells."

"Wich means that we have another traitor in our midst. Curse them. What are we going to do?"

"There is nothing we can do, not without risking Sif's and Astrid's lives. I will go to them and give myself up. I can only hope he will spare them."

"Loki, no" Thor grabbed his arm as he made to leave the room.

"Let go of me, Thor" Loki sighed resignedly, "you know it is the only way."

"At least let me accompany you. You don't have to do everything on your own, Loki. You have people who care about you, who want to help you."

Loki thought about this for a second and nodded. He would never say it out loud, but having Thor there would be a relief. He doubted he could face Thanos alone. "Summon Heimdall as well. She is his sister, after all."

Thor nodded and left the room, leaving Loki alone with his thoughts.  _This is it!_ If he was honest, he knew it was coming sooner or later. There was no escaping it. He only wished he had more time to complete his plans, but they would have to make due. He took on the appearance of Odin one last time and walked out of the room. There was something else he needed to do.

****

A crowd was gathering outside the palace, and it was swelling by the minute. All came to see if the voice spoke the truth, if the Liesmith had really survived and deceived them once again. Prince Thor said he was dead, that he died before his very eyes, but the Crown Prince was  _gullible_ when it came to his adopted younger brother, still willing to see the good in him when everyone saw him for the depraved little wretch he was. And now it seemed he survived and found his way back to Asgard, threatening them with his mere presence. But an official statement from the royal family was not yet issued, so the people just stood and waited. And at long last, Odin appeared before the crowd, looking more weary than ever.

" _Where is Laufeyson?"_ someone shouted.

" _Is it true then? He lives?"_ yelled another.

 _"I'm not dying for him!"_ a woman shrieked. The shouts continued to grow in number until the King was almost thrown over by a hurricane of sounds. He had to lean heavily on Gungnir to hold him up. Regaining his balance, he struck the floor hard with the butt of his staff, silencing all.

"I know many of you have questions. I know many of you have concerns. But I assure you, the situation is under control." Loki said through gritted teeth. His hope of an improved standing with the populace had proven fruitless. But, then again, they were most likely scared out of their wits.

"We demand anwsers." an elderly man shouted, and his request war chorused by many others. Loki held up his hand to silence them once again.

"And you will get them, I promise you." He took a deap breath. "Loki Laufeyson is indeed still alive, and he is indeed in Asgard." This statement was met with many suprised gasps. "The man standing before you is not your king." he spoke the words loud and clear, and his form shimmered with green light, and suddenly he was himself again. A deathly silence fell over the crowd. He could hear a pin drop.

"I did not die that day on Svartalfheim. It was my intention, but someone or something prevented it. I do not know what it was that saved me that day, but it was clear to me that my purpose in this life was not yet fulfilled.  When I returned, Odin had fallen into the Odinsleep and Thor refused the throne when I offered it to him. With the recent skirmish with the Dark Elves, wich cost Asgard dearly, and war looming on the horizon, once again the burden of the throne fell to me. I weighed my options carefully; to rule as Asgard's king until Odin awakened or Thor returned, and then cast into the dungeons once again as the vile traitor everyone believes I am, or flee and hide, and let Asgard fall prey to chaos and destruction. I was tempted to choose the second one, for it was clear to me, ever since I was a child, that Asgard bore no love for me, and would see me executed if they ever discovered me. It was the most logical option. But I was tired. Tired of being on the run, tired of having to hide myself, tired of the Nine Realms seeing me as nothing more than a rabid dog who needs to be put down. But moreso, I was moved, moved by people who still believed in me, after everything that I had done. Queen Frigga may not have been the woman who gave birth to me, but she was my mother in every other sense. She believed in me, even in my darkest hour, when even my brother with his unwavering faith lost all hope that I could be redeemed. She saw the good in me, when no one else could, and she died knowing that I still held darkness in my heart, and that is something I will have to live with for the rest of my days, and I will spent the rest of my days repenting for it, even if I know that I will never find the peace I am looking for. But moreso than that, I had the love of a women, who despite everything I had done, still found it in her heart to forgive me and love me for who I am, a broken, pathetic, wretched excuse of a man. She saw me when I was at my worst, and still she accepted me, nursed my wounds and tried to spell away the darkness that had found root in my heart so long ago. Their belief in me gave me the strenght to do what was right. I might not have been the king that Asgard deserved, but the one it needed then. For with our without my presence here in Asgard, Thanos would have come for the Tesseract. I knew this to be so, so I spent every waking moment, every bit of gold I could find, turned in every political favor that Asgard has garnered over the years to give Asgard a fighting chance, in the hope that it might live op to its moniker and be eternal."

The silence was still overwhelming. A few faces were still regarding Loki with hostility, but the rest just stared at him with wide open eyes, not accusing, not pitying, devoid of any emotion. Loki swallowed and continued, his voice steady and confident, something he did not feel at all.

"Now, Thanos has come, and with it the beginning of the end. He will not stop until either he is defeated and destroyed, or the entire galaxy belongs to him. He is strong, but not invincible. Oh, he is searching for it, but he does not have it yet. If he did, he would have razed the Realm Eternal in the blink of an eye. If he attacks, many of us would die."

"But we have the Tesseract. Surely that counts for something?" a young man shouted. 

"We might, but it would cost us dearly, and even then, there is no guarantee of victory. He has allied himself with both Frost Giants and Fire Giants, and that's only a part of his army, and an even match for our troops without reinforcements from Vanaheim, Alfheim and Nidavellir. If we were to decide to attack them with our forces and the power of the Tesseract, we might be able to destroy him, but not without great losses. Tens of thousands would surely perish. But when I took on the responsability of being King of Asgard, I made a vow that no man, woman or child would get hurt if I were able to prevent it. I have caused enought death and suffering to last for a million of mortal lives. No more. No one shall die today. Thanos wants me? He will get what he wants, so that Asgard might live to see another day, and it can fight this war on its own terms. No Asgardian shall die by my doing."

Finally, the crowd began to murmur.  _Is he going to surrender himself? Does he have a death wish? Will Thanos keep his word?_  He took a deep breath and held up his hand. The voices died away immediately.

"People of Asgard, I know that no love has been lost between us, and I regret that now. You have hurt me over the years. Growing up as a boy different from all the other children is difficult enough, but moreso when you are not accepted by society. I was taunted, cursed and spat upon, because I was guilty of being different. You chose to hate me because I had little interest in fighting, and because I preferred books to swords. No child should live with such prejudice, or be subjected to scorn because he is who he is. And you always thought the worst of me. You made me a villain long before I was one." He was pleased when a great portion of the crowd bowed their head in shame. "But that does not mean I am blameless. I was often cruel, arrogant and downright mean to other people, people I considered less than myself. I have played many cruel pranks on you over the centuries, humiliated you on several occasions, probably, and took great pleasure out of it. But also, I have betrayed you. You may have never loved me, and suspected that I was planning to overthrow my brother, who is the rightfull king of Asgard, but still, I had a duty towards you, as king, and I did not fulfill it. In the moment when you needed someone the most, I was not there. And I will regret that forever. I'm sorry, Asgard. Sorry that I wasn't the man you all wanted me to be. You don't love me, and you probably never will, but please, if you do remember me, remember me kindly. For there is no greater fear in a man's life than dying without love."

The crowd was still silent. Loki, sensing it was time, stepped forward, Thor and Heimdall right behind him. To reach the Bifrost, he would have to find a way to cross the sea of people that was in front of him. He stopped before the young man that spoke so brashly earlier. The young man looked him straight in the eye, unabashed. They were not widened in fear, nor ablaze with fury, but they were stunningly blue.  _Those have to be the bluest eyes I have ever seen. They even put Thor's to shame._ It looked like the cloudless sky on midday in the summertime. But then, something in those eyes shifted, and the man bend his head, brought his clenched hand to his chest and stepped aside, almost reverentely. Loki was absolutely shocked, for it was a sign of respect, something no one has ever given him if he was himself. He saw many people do the same, and when he stepped forward, the crowd parted, giving him room to pass through, all with their heads bowed and their fists clenched. Loki felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced behind him, where Thor was grinning like a madman. He nodded to his brother once, and then looked forward, to the rows of people standing there, giving him a salute, like he was Thor or Odin or another great hero.   _See?_ he heard Sif's voice in their head,  _they do respect you._ And so they did. He might never win their love, but he had their respect. For now, that was enough.

****

He could see the portal from a mile away. It was similar to the one they opened in the market earlier. He had taken samples of the destroyed portal stones to study, and discovered that they were actually belonged to a set called 'The Stones of Vor'. Four stones in total, they gave instant acces to any place within the Nine Realms. When two stones were focused toward each other, they formed a connection that cannot be severed unless both stones are destroyed or if the caster ended his spell, in wich case they would also be destroyed.  _So this is the last time he can suprise us like this. But he wasn't thinking very clear, if he would spent something so precious on an attack that was doomed to fail from the beginning. Or am I overlooking something?_

The negotiating parties existed of three people each, but Loki was sure that there were troops amassing on the other side if the negotiations did not go as Thanos had planned. When they got nearer, he could get a look at the other party. Thanos stood in the middle, flanked by a female Jotun with white hair and a massive Fire Giant. In front of them, on their knees, were Sif and Astrid. Astrid's dress was torn and Sif had an ugly slash on her right cheek, but for the rest, they were unharmed. They were bound and gagged. He could see Sif's eyes blazing, and he was sure that if she was not gagged, she would be spewing a plethora of words not entirely appropriate in the presence of a child. Loki, Thor and Heimdall halted at a safe distance. For a moment, the only noise was the wind howling. Then, Thanos spoke, in that soft but oh so dangerous velvety tone.

"Ah Loki, how good of you to come. And you brought company. Thor, son of Odin, correct? The ONLY son of Odin! Yes, I know of you. You were part of the group that laid waste to my Chitauri. Bad leadership, I suppose. The task that I gave your brother was not a difficult one. But perhaps I put my hopes on the wrong brother." When he saw Thor glaring murderously, he chuckled. "Or perhaps not. And this is Heimdall, the Guardian. He is, how did you put it, Loki, more loyal to Thor than he is to Asgard. A liar, a fool and a servant. Quite the welcoming party." He grinned wickedly. 

"Now, I know you, but perhaps you don't know us. I am Thanos," he said with a mock bow, "and this here is Surtur, lord of the Fire Giants" He pointed at the enormous Fire Giant at his right side, before moving on to the left. "And this lovely lady here is Skadi, new Queen of Jotunheim. But don't talk about it too much, because she's still angry that there is someone with a better claim on the throne than she." he winked.

"As if this pathetic runt would ever be accepted king! Even if he wasn't the vilest kind of traitor, betraying his own father and trying to wipe out his own race." Skadi spat.

"I am not one of you. I will never be one of you. I am the son of Odin and Frigga. They took me in while my OWN RACE, as you so eloquently put it, abandoned me to die. I owe you and your people no loyalty, and have no use for the throne of that frozen hellhole. You can keep it!" Loki bit back venomously.

"Now now, let us hold back on the insults, otherwise this negotiation will not serve any purpose. Laufeson, I have no quarrel with the Æsir. I just want what is rightfully mine." Thanos spoke and held out his hand, a slight touch of impatience colouring his voice

"The Tesseract does not belong to you. It belongs to Asgard. We used its energy to build the Bifrost. It was locked in our Vaults until the day it was lost on Midgard. You have no claim whatsoever."

"That might be true, but we had a deal, Laufeyson. You promised to deliver the Tesseract to me if I gave you an army to conquer Earth. The army was given, the Tesseract wasn't. One would almost think that you lost on purpose that day, so you could keep it to yourself. But that would be foolish, and you are many things, Laufeyson, but a fool ain't one of them. No one in his right mind would cross Thanos. Now uphold your end of the deal and give me the Tesseract."

"Not a chance, Thanos. Did you really expect me to just hand it over?"

"Aah, but that's why we have these two lovely ladies here." He gave a sign, and suddenly, Surtur had grabbed Astrid by the throat and was slowly squeezing the life out of her, and Skadi was pressing a ice blade againt Sif's slender neck, so sharp that it drew a little line of blood. "I will not ask it again. Give me the Tesseract, or they die."

Loki's mind was racing, trying to find a solution to his predicament. Fortunately, he always was a quick thinker, able to take unexpected turns in stride and think on his feet. He would have to bluff his way out. He turned towards Sif and Astrid. "Sif, Astrid, I am sorry. I truly am. But I cannot trade the Tesseract for your lives. I cannot put the lives of the ones I love above the lives of millions of others, and if I gave him the Tesseract, he would kill you anyway. I hope you will understand and know that I am truly sorry. But.." he turned back to Thanos. "If you claim their lives, know this. There is only one person in the Nine Realms who can gain acces to the Tesseract at this point, and that's me. If you kill them, we will attack. Yes, thousands of people would die. But you would die as well, for I will fetch the Tesseract and unleash it's full power on you."

"Impossible. You don't have the power to wield it. You'd be destroyed." Thanos scoffed.

"But so would you. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Will you?" Loki shot back, and his mind crowed victoriously when he saw Thanos' eyes blazing with fury. "I offer a counter proposal. Take me, and let them go. I started this all, and I will finish it. I have committed a crime against the Jotun people, and I must be punished for that. I have broken my promise to you, and I have no intention of ever fulfilling it. Take me with you, and leave Asgard alone."

He could almost see the cogs in Thanos' head turning.  _Will he take it? I can't give him the Tesseract, but if he kills Sif and Astrid, I'll never forgive myself. But he will take it. I mean, he knows he can't coerce me into giving him the Tesseract, and seeing that I'm the only one who can get to the Tesseract, he will need to extract the information out of me. So he will need me._ The thought of subjecting himself to torture at the hands of Thanos made him ill, but there was no other way. He glanced at Sif, who was pleading him with her eyes, who were already tearing up, to reconsider. He winced when he felt a stab in his heart. If he would go with Thanos, it was unlikely he would ever return.  _I never had the chance to marry her._

But then, Thanos seemed to have made up his mind, or realised that he would need Loki if he had any hope of ever gaining the Tesseract. 

He grinned his wicked grin, showing of his unnatural white teeth that contrasted so with his dark purple skin. "Agreed!"

****

In no time, Loki was bound and kneeling before Thanos. He had asked Thor and Heimdall to escort Sif and Astrid away, but the moment they were released, both threw themselves at him, trying to dissuade him. 

"Don't do it, Loki. There has to be another way. Please?" Sif begged. Tears were streaming down her face, and Loki could feel some of his own falling.

"I can't. I'm sorry. This is the only way. But you need to be strong, Sif. Asgard needs her general! Thor needs his friend! Astrid needs her rolemodel! And I need you to finish our preparations. War will come soon. You don't have much time. Assemble the armies. Stop Thanos! You can do this."

"Not without you, Loki. I need you." she just held on to him tighter.

"I will think about you." he said, and he gently pushed her away, pleading Heimdall with his eyes that he would take her away. He nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder. She sighed, gave him a last kiss and stood up, shooting another tearful glance his way before she left. Then, another pair of arms engulfed him, smaller and skinnier, but with the same desperate strength. He turned his head and saw a great mop of golden hair on his chest. She was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shh Astrid, it's fine. I will be fine. And more importantly, you will be fine. You're safe now. It's over!"

"But it's not." she cried even harder, "you're going with them. They are going to hurt you. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Listen, Astrid, I need you to do something for me, something that will help me out a lot, and would make this a lot easier. I want you to look after the Lady Sif. She's very vulnerable and sad right now, not her usually strong and confident self. She needs all the support she can get. I need you to be strong and brave, like a true shieldmaiden, Would you do that for me? Would you take care of her? I would be in your debt for all eternity."

"You don't owe me anything. You have given me everything. I will miss you." Then, she planted a kiss on his cheek, and threw her arms around him once more.

"I love you, Loki." Loki felt those words tug on his heartstrings. This was the first time that anyone outside his family and Sif had ever said that to him. His heart overflooded with love for the little girl.

"As I love you, child. Now, go with Thor. He will bring you back to the palace." he said, and another tear made it's way down his cheek. Astrid, having released him, saw it and wiped it away with her thumb. She walked up towards Thor and put her little hand in his big one. Then, she turned around once more.

"I wish you could have been my Daddy." she said, and she left. Loki was sure he could not hear him whisper.

"So do I, Astrid, so do I." he closed his eyes. 

His worst nightmares were coming true. He was back in Thanos' hands, and no doubt he would be tortured mercilessly. Skaadi had gleefully informed him that she was in charge of his torture, and that she was looking forward what the "runt" could endure. She made it clear that his royal status would not protect him, and that he was deemed a traitor, and given a traitor punishment.

"Oh, you'll remember this one. Even if you manage to ever get free of it, you will bear the marks for al eternity." she informed him, smiling wickedly all the time. But now, it was time to go. In addition to being bound, Loki was also gagged. He was still sitting on his knees, but a hard kick in the back told him that it was time to get up. Slowly, they walked through the portal. The first thing that struck him was the absence of light, or warmth for that matter. It was completely devoid of life.  _Jotunheim. I could have been king of this Realm. But seriously, Odin, what were you thinking? Thinking that you could take a child away from his home, raising him as one of your own but never telling him that he really wasn't? Like you never could explain that I was different._

After hours of trekking through the snow, they finally reached Jotunheims capital, Utgard. The did not wast time ushering him into the dungeons. When they reahed the end of the corridor, the guards opened a door on the right that gave acces to a grand room, that was fortunately devoid of any life our light. But then, a Frost Giant lit a torch, and suddenly, all the other torches in the room sprang to live, revealing a giant black stone in the center. Lying on the platform above the stone was a giant snake. He could see the venom of the snake drip on the floor and on the rock. Suddenly, he knew what it was for. He flinched. The pain would be agonizing.  They lead him towards the stone and told him to lie down. 

"The punishment is quite simple. You lie down, we tie you up, venom fall son your head, soon you will be begging to be released or put out of your misery. Could be either. 

He saw a drop falling, and held out his hand to catch it, but he withdrew it almost instantly, like it was burning a path through her hand. 

"Shite. That hurts." But he would not scream. He had promised not to scream. Skaadi looked sceptically to me and shaked her head. Then, something else came up in my mind: "how are you going to tie me up if you don't have ropes?

"Ropes?" Skaadi said, raising her eyebrow. "We don't need robes. We prefer a more direct way to bind someone, something that is bound to leave an impression. For good." She picked up a sharp knive and walked towards him. He could do nothing, because he was restrained, but his helplessness was no reason for pity. Quite the contrary, she smirked when she stabbed him right in the abdomen.

He did scream, then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could tell you another story about why it took so long to update, but I'm not going to do it. I just suck at updating. There you have it. The truth is out. Even though.... NO. No.  
> But anyway, see you next chapter
> 
>  
> 
> Please review and give kudos.


	35. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no rights to any of the characters (except Astrid, she's one of mine), and I don't make any money with these stories. I just write them for fun and practice.  
> Also, this is the first of my Sif-chapters, now that they are seperated, I will change to her POV for a few of the chapters, to keep the suspense. I sincerely hope you will enjoy it eiter way.

"No, Heimdall, let me  _go_ , I changed my mind, I won't let him go. No, release me." she struggled with all her might, but her brother was unmoved. "Damn, if you don't let me go this very instant, I swear you will regret it." But her hostile tone and her murderous glare could not persuade Heimdall. Could he not understand? She couldn't let Loki leave with  _him,_ not after what he did to him the first time. The mere thought made her almost empty her stomach.  _He can't have him. Not when he has finally recovered, not when I finally got my friend and lover back. I will destroy Yggdrasil itself before he lays another hand on him._

"Please, no, let me go." she almost wailed in despair. "Thor! THOR! Don't let them leave with Loki. Stop them, I beg you." But it was to no avail. She saw them push Loki through the portal, then a bright purple flash and it was gone. Loki was gone. She fell on her knees and began to sob. Through the tears, she could see two people walking towards them, a grown man with a little girl next to him, gently pushing her onwards, holding a hand on her shoulder. The girl had wrapped her arms around her own body, like she was cold, and she was crying. It was the most heartbreaking thing Sif had ever seen, and it completely ripped her already-torn heart into tiny shreds. Then, Astrid saw her, ran up to her and threw her arms around her neck in a tight hug. She put her arms around the little girl as well, as much for her own comfort as for the little girl's. Astrid buried her face in Sif's neck and hot tears splashed on her tunic. Sif stroked her blond hair, trying to comfort the wailing child.

"Hush now, little sunshine, everything will be alright. You know Loki, he would never find himself in a situation he can't escape from." the girl hiccuped.

"But that man wants to hurt Loki. Why would he want to hurt Loki? Loki is so nice, why would anyone want to hurt him?" she sobbed.

"That man is evil, little sunshine. Loki went with him to save Asgard from his wickedness, and to make sure he will never hurt anyone again."  _Better for her to think this is all part of his plan then have her know the truth. But by Odin's beard, LET him have a plan._

"So it was all a part of his plan? Loki wanted the wicked man to take him away, so he could stop him? And he will return soon?" she pulled away and brightened almost instantly, and despite her grief, Sif felt her heart warm a little.

"Yes, child, he will be back before you know it, and then you can do whatever it is that you do when I'm not around." A weary smile appeared on her face when Astrid giggled.

"He made me promise not to tell anyone, so I can't tell you." she said with a proud look on her face. But then, it fell. "Sif?"

"Yes, Astrid?"

"I told Loki that I wished he could be my daddy, and he said he wanted to be my daddy. Is that ok with you?" she asked with a level of seriousness that only a child can possess, and Sif chuckled.

"That is more than ok with me, Astrid. You two deserve each other." The child beamed at her.

"Wait, if Loki is my daddy, does that mean you're my mommy?" she asked with barely contained excitement?

"If you want me to, yes, I will be your mother. I would be hono..." she was cut off when Astrid threw her arms around her again, squeezing all the air out of her lungs. "Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything." Astrid kept whispering like it was some sort of mantra. "I love you!"

"And I love you, little sunshine. Now, could you please go with Heimdall back to your chambers, I want to have a few words with Uncle Thor here." By now, Thor was wearing his trademark big goofy grin that made him look like a dog who had just received the nicest, juiciest Bilgesnipe bone."

"Ok. Will you warn me when Loki, eeuh, Dad returns?" she asked, letting go of Sif.

"I will, little sunshine. Now off you go." she gave Astrid a light peck on her forehead and pushed her gently towards her brother, who held out his big hand for Astrid to take. Together, they walked towards the palace. She could hear the conversation fading in the distance.

"So who are you?" 

"I am Heimdall, Gatekeeper of Asgard and Guardian of the Nine Realms. I am also a brother of Sif, your adoptive mother."

"Oh. So you are my uncle now?" she asked.

"So it would seem." Heimdall answered solemnly, but that did not deter Astrid, who threw his arms around her waist, and for the first time in years, Sif saw her brother vaguely uncomfortable, unsure what to do, before he hesitantly patted her back.

"Hello Uncle Heimdall, my name is Astrid"

"Well met, Lady Astrid. I am, as you said, 'Uncle Heimdall'". Although he looked more distressed then ever before, Sif had to admit that he took it in stride. But by then, she could not hear their conversation any more and turned to Thor, who wrapped her up in a hug. She sighed and let her head fall on his shoulder."

"I'm so glad you are safe." Thor murmured. She could feel a sob coming up, but she forced it down and put her hand on Thor's chest, gently pushing him away. Then, she hit him in the face as hard as she could. His head whipped to the side, and there was an angry red handprint on the side of his face."

"Au. Sif, what in Hels name are you doing?" he asked angrily, but cowered away from her glare, wich promised death and destruction.

"What. Were. You. Thinking?" she bit out every word. "You heard his tale, you know what that thing did to Loki, you know he was responsible for forcing Loki to attack Midgard, and you let him go with him. Your own brother. He will be tortured without end, if not worse. The Frost Giants are already asking for his head, and now they have him alive, and they will prolong his suffering as much as they could. How could you? Your own brother? How could you?" by now, the tears were streaming down her face." How could you, how could you, how could you?" she almost fell on the floor in a quivering mess, but she was the Lady Sif, she had to be stronger than this. She promised Loki she would be stronger than this.

"You honestly think that this is what I wanted? I would never agree to give up Loki to that monster, not even if I could save the Nine Realms by doing so.. He's my brother, Sif, and I only just got him back. I said him not to go. I begged him not to go. But he would not listen. He would not want anyone to die on his behalf again. He knew it was the only way to keep Asgard safe, to give us a fighting chance, you know this. He did what he thought had to be done. He sacrificed himself, for all of us."

"I know it's not your fault, but I can't hit Loki, and you are the closest thing I have. It's just... knowing that Loki is in his hands is tearing me apart. I would like nothing more than to take my glaive, march on Jotunheim, singlehandedly if need be and kill everything that stands between me, him and his freedom." 

"I do not think that is very wise, Sif. Even you cannot get both of you out of there alive. Loki would be dead before you would even reach him."

"A suicide mission. The old Thor would have departed for Jotunheim already. Where is him when you need him?" she asked half-heartedly.

"The old Thor was a vain, greedy and cruel boy, just like Father said. I was blind to the woes of those around me, took for granted that what I was supposed to be thankful for and helped to bring about my brother's temporary lapse of insanity. I never got the chance to tell him how sorry I am that I did not see how he suffered. No, the worst part is, I could have seen it, but I chose not to. The old Thor is dead and buried, and I would not want to resurrect him no matter what. But if I thought I could save Loki by doing so, we would be battering down the walls of Utgard as we speak. But it is the only way. He knew it. We must honor his sacrifice, and honor him, for he is a true hero, one that would rather face horrible torment than abandon those he loves. But Loki is strong, Sif, stronger than any of us give him credit for. He will endure, he will survive, and he will live again, this I promise you. And for all we know, this might be part of his plan. He has a brilliant mind and is an excellent tactician. If only we were more appreciative of his unique skills rather than taunt him with them..."

"Perhaps we would not have found ourselves in this situation." Sif finished for him. "I know, I have often thought that myself. Loki wasn't always the way he was when he smuggled those Frost Giants into Asgard, and we are all as much to blame as he is. But that does not solve our current predicament. He may have surrendered himself to Thanos, but Ygddrasil itself will wither before I agree to leave him there. I WILL find a way to bring him back, this I swear."

"If you insist upon this course, I will assist you any way I can, naturally. But I think we should honor Loki's last commands and make sure our armies are ready. We still have the Tesseract."

"It will do you no good. Loki has placed the wards himself. Only he can break them. A precautionary measure. Of course, now that he is here no longer..."

"We cannot get to, let alone use the Tesseract." Thor cursed. 

"It would have done you no good. Even Loki with all his Seiðr could not have controlled it. It would have consumed you."

"Yes, he told me as well. But I don't understand, Heimdall was able to use it to repair the Bifrost."

"I don't really know how he did it, but I think he drew on the existing power of the Bifrost or something. The Bifrost was made with the energy of the Tesseract, so it is only natural it could be repaired by its power. That's why it can open stable portals througout the Nine Realms."

"PORTALS!" Thor exclaimed and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her like he had gone insane, " Loki told me they created a portal via portal stones, but those have to be aligned on both sides of the portal. That means something or someone has deliberately placed these stones here."

"So we have an intruder. Call the Einjerhar, we must search every nook and cranny. No wait," Sif said slowly, her brow furrowing in concentration, "Loki told me he had wards in place to detect any kind of foreign magic. An Alfar could not have farted in the city without him knowing of it. Yet, he did not trace the Aesir magic. That means that whoever did this was Æsir, or someone well versed in our Seiðr."

"Lorelei was the one who opened the portal the first time, before she fled to Midgard."

"And you are sure of that?" Thor asked. 

"Well, no, she did not confess, but who else could it have been? I mean, she has the knowledge and the motive to be the traitor."  _Or did I just tell that myself. Did I allow my hatred to cloud my judgement?_

"You misinterpret me, Lady Sif. Having the Lady Lorelei emprisoned is certainly a boon for us. She IS very dangerous, and could have well been working for Thanos. But perhaps she was not working alone."

"But who else has reason to hate Asgard and wants us to die screaming?" Sif thought aloud. Try as she might, she could not figure it out. Laufey, sure, but he was dead. And so was Malekith. Any other Frost Giant or Dark Elf would do, but they would have been detected by Loki.  _  
_

_Loki! What if...? He has more reason then most to want to destroy Asgard. He is clever enough to make suspicion not fall unto him. Maybe he HAS killed Odin, and is this just some ploy to lure Thor back to Asgard, have us all killed without anyone even suspecting he was behind it all. He is the God of Lies, and this would be his masterpiece. Perhaps he has got us all fooled, and..._

She cut her stream of thoughts off and mentally slapped herself.  _How DARE you? How DARE you question him? After everything he did for you? After everything you did to him? He tried to change, HAS changed, and here you are, doubting his honest intentions. You, the person he trusts most in all the Nine Realms. He sacrificed himself for you safety, and you thank him by questioning his motives. You question the very man you were about to marry today? You don't deserve him._

"Perhaps their goal wasn't Asgard but Loki?" Thor asked before hastily stepping a few steps backwards after the glare Sif directed at him and raised his hands in defense. "Hey, I'm just saying. Loki wasn't exactly well-loved, you know this. And I know it wasn't fully his fault" he added when she would not relent, "but if someone has seen through his scheme, he might have gone to extreme lengths to get him removed, even without fully realizing the danger it might pose to Asgard."

"But who would be foolish enough to believe that Thanos would simply leave us alone if we handed him Loki?" Sif retorted increduloulsy.

"I have no idea." Thor said, as they walked through the palace doors. She hadn't even realized that they had left the Bifrost, so engrossed in thoughts she was, thoughts about how this could have happened, how she was going to get Loki out of there. "You don't think it might be..."

"THOR!" a voice shrieked, and she was rudely pushed aside when a mop of platinum blond hair threw herself at him. "You are back. You are finally back." Then, Amora seemed to remember that she was in a public space, because she hastily withdrew from him and smoothet out her dress, but her eyes were almost teary with joy. "I would have come sooner, but no one bothered informing me of your return." she huffed indignantly. "The past months have been really trying for all of us, with you gone to Midgard. But now that you are back, "she looked away shyly, and altough Sif loathed it, she had to admit that Amora had no match in the art of seduction. She could have  _any_ man if she wanted to. _Well, except the one man that she actually wants, apparently,_ she thought with a smirk.

"I'm just doing my duty to my family and my people, Lady Amora. When this is all over, I expect to return to Midgard, to be with Jane." For a moment, Sif thought she could see anger flash in those green eyes, but when she blinked, it was gone."

"But who will rule over Asgard then, my prince?" she asked curiously, and, so Sif noted, with the tiniest hint of suspicion.

"My father will resume the regency, and if he is still indisposed, I will leave the throne to my brother. He has already proven himself a capable and wise ruler. Asgard will be in good hands."

"My prince, "Amora said gently, as if she was talking to an infant, "I know you love him, but you cannot trust him. His moniker "God of Mischief and Lies" was given to him not without reason. He has you fooled. He abuses the love you carry for him, and is a danger to all those around us."

The polite smile that had graced Thor's lips died quicker then a squirrel with an arrow through his eye, and when he spoke again, he responded rather curtly: "I thank you for your concern, Lady Amora, but I know my brother. Yes, he has made some mistakes, but has since spent every day trying to make up for it. He is truly sorry for what he has done."

"Sorry!" Amora all but spat, "what would a monster like him know of guilt? If the rumors are true, he's not your real brother, he's not even an Æsir. What was the Allfather thinking when he brought that monster here, to our home? His whole life, he has been nothing but trouble. He is the reason my sister has spent most of her life in the dungeons. He is the reason you were banished and met that woman in the first place. He is the reason you returned to Midgard and I had to go through all this just to get you back."

"The fact that he is Jotun does not bother me at all, he always was and alway... wait, what did you say?" Amora paled, her eyes shooting in all directions, trying to find an escape route, but before she could even move, Sif had her pressed against the wall, her forearm pressed against her throat.

"What did you say there?" she all but hissed as Amora tried in vain to remove the pressure from her delicate throat. "Answer me, while you still have air in your lungs."

" Sif, let her speak." Thor said, and Amora looked at him with gratitude in her eyes, but she quickly cowered away when he turned his thunderous gaze towards her. "You planned all this, didn't you? YOU are the traitor."

"No traitor. Never traitor. I was only helping, I swear. When you left for Midgard and I saw Loki sitting on the throne, I knew I had to do something. He is evil, my prince, you must see that. He is the one that sent you away. He is the traitor, my prince, not I."

"Wait, how did you know that Odin wasn't Odin? Even his own son was fooled." she still had the dagger in her hand. Oh, how she longed to plunge it in this conniving bitch's heart.

"Please, I am a master of Seiðr, and have studied alongside Loki for many a year. I know his magic, I can detect it if I concentrate. When I recognized his Seiðr with Odin, I knew something had gone horribly wrong. And with you on Midgard, we were surrendered to his mercy."

She gulped before continuing: "I wanted to come to you first, but I knew that you would not believe me, and if you did, you would just forgive him again. You are a good man, my prince, but a tad naïve, if I may say so. The Liesmith made use of that, countless times before. You don't deserve that. You are great, the Crown Prince, well-loved, brave, strong. Loki is a conniving little coward who plays with illusions and dabbles in Seiðr to conceil his lack of masculinity. So, I went to someone who could fix my problems."

"Thanos!" Thor stated.

"Yes. Lord Thanos himself has had issues with Loki, some deals where Loki failed to uphold his end of the bargain. And he promised me that Asgard and it citizens would remain unharmed, and that he only wanted Loki."

"So you gave him up? You betrayed a prince of the Realm, the temporary king. You surrendered him in the hands of the greatest monster this universe has seen a long time, someone who will strip the meat from his bones and flay him alive.  I have only one question; WHY?"

"Can't you see it? It's because of Thor. I did it so I can prove I am the perfect woman for him, the perfect future queen. I drove away the false pretender and made sure that the rightfull heir to the throne would prevail. He does not even deserve to breathe the same air as we do, the filthy monster. Plus, he was the one that always kept us apart, first when you were banished to Midgard for a fault of his, then when he tricked you in abandoning your birthright to go live amongst the animals. He is the reason you met that mortal who bewitched you. I did it so I can save you, save you from the evils of your brother, and to show you that there are people who love you, worthy people, worthy of your affection. Choose my, my king, accept your birthright, and together, we shall rule these Nine Realms and bend it to our will." she said, and held out her hand for Thor to take. She sent him her most winning smile, and as much as she had confidence in her friend, Sif could see that his resolve was extremely thin. Then, she saw Thor's hand move towards the outstretched hand.

"Lady Amora, what have you done?" Thor whispered, and Amora looked like she was just slapped in the face. "You have not only doomed my brother, but you have doomed us all. You have given Thanos the greatest asset he needs to conquer Asgard, apart from the Tesseract. Did you seriously think that Thanos would just take Loki and go? He will come back, and he will destroy us all if he can. Loki was our best hope.

"No, that's impossible, he promised me that he would only take Loki. The rest would remain unharmed. He can have Loki, he can kill him for all I care, but he cannot harm us. He promised."

"GUARDS." Sif bellowed, and a few Einherjar came running; "Escort the Lady Amora to the dungeons and see to it that she stays there. We will deal with her later." Part of her wanted to just slit her throat then and there for what she did to Loki, but she knew she at least deseved a trial. The guards grabbed her by the arms and started to pull her away.

"No!" she screamed, "don't let her do that to me, my love. Protect me. I only did it because I love you, so you could see that we are made for each other. Forget Loki. Forget Thanos. Forget her. Choose me. Please?" tears were streaming down her cheeks at this moment, but Thor just turned away from her. She broke down and they had to drag her to the dungeons. Her wails were audible until the cell door closed.

_All of this for some stupid crush. The love of my live is in the hands of the greatest monster in the universe so a stupid Enchantress could prove she was more worthy of the affections of the Crown Prince of Asgard then a simple mortal scientist._ Suddenly, a large hand was placed on her shoulder: "You ok?"

"No"

"Neither am I. We have found our traitor, it would seem. To think that she did all of this out of love to me."

"It isn't love as much as obsession and blinding hatred for anyone that gets in her way. I should have killed her when I had the chance?

"I'm glad yo didn't, and so would Loki. She isn't worth dirtying your hands, Sif."

"I will stay away from her for now, but if Loki is dead or dying, I'm not responsible for the consequences. It's on you!"

"You still plan to go through with this, even after his wishes? He would not want you to die while trying to save him."

"I have to, Thor. I love him! The thought of him in the hands of that monster makes me want to kill something. He's probably getting tortured right now, and there is nothing I can do. I'm going to devise a plan to get him out of there as quickly as possible, consequences be damned. Even if I have to stay up all night, or how long it might take, I am going to bring Loki back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done. This is getting more and more difficult, it seems. My mind is already in another fic that is currently in development fase, and I still prefer to read fanfiction than to write it, but I promise you; Updates are Coming. Don't doubt that. It will happen. I will finish this story.
> 
> If you like this story, please let me know in the comments below, or click that button that says "kudos" to show your appreciation. Your support has been invaluable.  
> Thank you for your continued support.


	36. Up all night to get Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All rights belong to Marvel and Disney. I make no money writing this. This is purely for fun

"If you plan on going through with this, Sif, you have my blessing." He hugged her once more. "And Sif? Bring my brother back! I don't want to lose him again either." A lonely tear made its way down his cheek and disappeared into his beard.

"Don't worry, my friend, I will."  _I will. I must._ "I will make preparations to leave as soon as possible. "

"And we will help!" A voice called out to her. A smile spread across her face.

"Yes, this all started with us going to Jotunheim, it is only fitting that it ends like that as well." Volstagg added, and he slapped Sif on the back.

"The five of us, off to save Loki. Now there's a novelty. Usually it was the other way around." Fandral quipped.

"Alas, my friends, as much as it pains me not to help out my brother in time of need, I'm afraid I can't accompany you. Asgard needs a king, and with Father still sleeping, that task falls to me. Our allies will be arriving shortly, and there is still much to be done. I can't abandon Asgard in its time of greatest need."

"Agreed. We cannot rob Asgard of its finest warriors. And that includes you three." Sif said, meeting disbelieving eyes from both Fandral and Volstagg. "I am sorry, my friends, but Asgard needs you. You have a duty to fulfill."

"But we can't let you go alone." Volstagg said, "that would be tantamount to suicide. Or are you planning on taking on the armies of Jotunheim, Muspelheim and Thanos all by yourself?"

"If it comes to that, I don't think even the five of us could make it out alive. It does not matter how you look at it, the odds are not in our favor. But you don't have an obligation to throw your lives away for this. Loki would not want you to throw your lives away for him."

"But you are willing to risk yours, and expect us to stay on the sidelines and let it happen?" Fandral asked incredulously.

"If Loki can't be saved, I won't be able to live with myself any longer. But, if Ygddrasil permits it, it would not come to that. I have a plan, and it requires a great deal of stealth. One person has more chance to succeed then an entire group. And, none of you, Hogun excluded, has any aptitude for sneaking."

Fandral looked like he wanted to protest, but was gently cut off by Thor. "We should drop this, my friends. Sif knows what she is doing. We should have faith in her and pray that she will bring my brother back to us." 

When the Warriors Three still did not look appeased, she clamped them on the shoulder one by one. "I appreciate the offer, and the sentiment behind it, truly. You are good friends, and it has been an honor to fight by your side. But this is something I have to do alone. It is the only way." Reluctantly, the three men nodded. Following that, Volstagg crushed her body in a massive hug. 

"Stay safe, Sif, and bring our friend back to us. He has suffered enough."

"Aye, that he has." Hogun said, the tiniest hint of a smile appearing on his face.

"Thank you, my friends. I will not soon forget this. I will leave Asgard in your care. Don't burn it down while I'm away." she quipped, and the men chortled.

"When will you be leaving?"

"As soon as I have located the passage to Jotunheim Loki told me about. He gave me some vague directions, but it might take a couple of hours. Thor, could you perhaps arrange for some provisions to be readied and brought to my chambers? I have no guess how long I will be gone, and I don't intend to die of starvation or the frost."

"Consider it done. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a council meeting to attend. There will be a lot to smooth over. Knowing them, they won't take too kindly to Loki's deception, even if it was for the good of Asgard. I wish you good luck, Sif, and bring Loki back. He's the only family I've got left, at least until Father awakes. IF he awakes at all." he said somberly, wich went really poorly with a face made for smiles and laughter

"Well, let's hope that soon, you can gain a sister." she said, and she punched him lightly on the arm, and managed to coax a small smile out of the Thundergod. A victory, small as it was, but a victory nonetheless. He nodded, turned around and walked away. Sif turned to her companions, bid them farewell, and left for her chambers. She had a lot of preparations to do.

****

She was happy when she could finally shed off the wedding gown, constricting as it was. She threw it in a messy pile in the corner.  _When we get married, I'm going to wear another gown, or perhaps my armor. Loki would not mind. But not this thing. I'm willing to bet they would not have succeeded in kidnapping me if I was wearing my armor and glaive, or anything that would have allowed me to move. And wearing it would only remind me of this day. Plus, it's torn._

When she donned her armor and buckled her glaive, she felt herself relax under the comforting and familiar weight.  _This is the gown I was meant to carry. Without it, I am Sif. With it, I am Lady Sif, Daughter of War, Shieldmaiden of Asgard, and Lover of Mischief._   She also threw a few furs over the armor, to keep her warm in the freezing climate of Jotunheim. When she was dressed, a servant brought her a small knapack with some dried meat and fruits, nothing too much. She did not expect to be gone for more then three days, and she could go for some time without food if need be. She pulled on her boots and tucked her knifes inside them.They were two of Loki's knives, two gave her a long time ago, when they were still young and in training. The memory was still burned in her mind

" _You did good today, Loki. You almost had me there for a second." She threw herself on the bench, exhausted from their training. Loki sat down as well, but careful and with grace, "the way a prince should behave at all time", he often said. Sif often teased him about the way he carried himself, saying he was prissier then Frigga's handmaidens. Loki retaliated by stating she had the manners and bearings of a Midgardian. She would punch him lightly, he would look affronted and mocked hurt, until she started tickling him, and then everything would be forgotten._

_Loki was rubbing his head, where Sif had struck him with her shield, before replying. "The mightly Lady Sif praises me for my skills in battle. I must have hurt my head harder then I thought."_

_"Really? I think that I should have hit you harder. It might have knocked some sense into that thick skull of yours." she shot back._

_"I'm sorry, I think you must have mistaken me for my brother. Don't worry, that happens a lot. His name is Thor,  he has blond hair, a sturdy built and the intellectual capacity of a teaspoon. I'm Loki. I 've got the brains, and the looks." he winked, and she laughed. Not for the first time, she wondered why everyone seemed to dislike him so. He was witty, unbelievalby clever and so sweet and caring_

_"That I can see." he said, and he laughed. His laughter was the most beautiful sound in the world, she thought. So rare and delicate, like a flower, to be treasured and kept safe. Especially because she seemed to be the only one capable of making him laugh outright. He could smirk at you, but only a few could make him smile, and only she could make him laugh. It made her feel special, even more so then being the first female warrior in Asgard. She noticed him staring at her, and she blushed furiously. She had to change subject, and fast. "I think we should practice a bit of unarmed combat!"_

_"So eager to punch me in the face, are you?" he asked innocently._

_"Oh, shut up you cod, or I WILL punch you. No, I am relying too heavily on my sword. It almost cost me my head, a few days ago. If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead."_

_"Don't worry, I'll always be around to save your arse."_

_"Well, it is an arse worth saving. But still, I should learn to defend myself, even if I am parted from my glaive. I refuse to be some damsel in distress that needs saving all the time. I need to be able to stand my own if I ever want to become an Einherjar." She sighed deeply and stretched. "I'm going to go freshen up. Meet for drinks later, after dinner?"_

_"Sure!" he said, but he seemed distracted. She knew him well enough to know he was up to something, but right now she was too exhausted to even bother to find out what. Perhaps after she had taken her bath. Sif took her leave and returned to her chambers. She stripped down and hung her armor on their stands, and then shedded the rest of her clothes. When she walked into her bathroom, she found the tub already filled with steaming hot water. Bless my thoughtful maidservant, she thought as she slipped into the warm water. The hot liquid did wonders to soothe her stiff and aching limbs, and soon she found herself dozing off. When she was awoken by a servant informing her that she was expected to dine with the Royal Family tonight, on both Thor and Loki's wish, several hours had already past. He climbed out of the tub, wrapped a towel around her waist and left the bathroom. Even before she had entered her bedroom, she knew that something was different. She could detect a faint smell of pine and soap and some smell that she could only describe as the smell of Seiðr. Loki's Seiðr to be exact. It was too faint for him to still be in her room, but not faint enough to be from when she was last in her bedroom. With her incredible deduction skills, she deduced that he must have entered her room when she was in her bath. For some reason, the mere thought of him being in her bedroom while she was bathing made her flush as red as the cloak Thor often wore. But why had he visited her chambers? She found the answer soon enough. On her bed lay a small package, wrapped ostentably in green fabric with silver bows. She eagerly ripped it open, not having the patience to carefully unwrap it (she could hear Loki tssking in her mind), and she gasped. Inside were two beautiful silver daggers, long and thin but razor sharp, the kind that Loki himself often used. Their hilt was adorned with curling snakes with emerald eyes. Perfect for tugging  Accompanying the two daggers was a small note. It read:_

_"Hide these in your boots in case of emergency or capture. If you never forget to wear them, then I will always be able to save your admittedly pretty arse.Yours truly, Loki"_

_She couldn't believe it. Once again, he had managed to give her exactly the right thing. He was truly an amazing best friend. Her heart warmed at the thought of him. Her best friend. Now and forever._

_Later that night, she entered the Royal quarters, where she would be dining with Thor, Loki and their parents, the King and Queen. After bowing before Odin, and trying to do the same for Frigga only to be kissed on the cheek by the women, she wanted to sit down next to Loki, but Thor was in the way._

_"Sif! I was hoping that you would join me for drinks later this evening. Me, Fandral, Hogun and a couple of other students are going to the tavern. Do you want to join us?" she could not believe it. Thor just invited her for drinks. THOR. HER. She had a crush on him ever since she met him, but she never thought he was in any way interested in her. Sure, they fought occasionally, because the trainer made them fight, but he always regarded her as his brother's little lady friend. They would talk sometimes, and while he was always courteous to her, and laughed along with her, she could not exactly say that they were friends. In fact, she had almost given up on her silly little crush, because she thought he wasn't interested. But perhaps he was. Her heart fluttered at the thought._

_"Of course, my prince. I would be honored." she almost gushed._

_"The honor would be mine, and please, call me Thor." he said, and winked. Sif swore she'd faint on the spot._

_"Then you must call me Sif, my... Thor."_

_He smiled that broad, winning smile to her, and she could feel herself get weak in the knees. "Brother, I would have you come as well, but I know you don't like to accompany us, so I'm not going to waste my breath trying to convince you otherwise." he laughed and sat down next to his father, wich whom he began to speak animatedly. Sif, still goofily smiling, sat down in her usual spot next to Loki, who had not said a single word since his initial greeting. In fact, he was staring straight in front of him, grasping his cup so hard that the metal must have been dented, his knuckles bone white. For a few minutes, she did not notice him at all, as she was still staring at Thor. But after a while, his unusual quietness drew her attention._

_"Loki? Is everything alright?" she queried, her brow creased in concern._

_"I'm fine!" he replied curtly, and Sif was shocked at the unexpected venom in his voice._

_"Are you sure?" she asked cautiously, "you don't sound fine to me."_

_"As I told you, it's nothing. My head hurts from the training and my stomach seems to be a little upset. Why? Is that a crime?" he bit out._

_She flinched. Why was he being so mean to her? What did she do to upset him?_

_"Loki, whatever it is I have done, I'm sorry. You are my best friend. I don't like to see you like this."_

_"It's nothing you did, Sif." he said, and looked away. "It's not your fault."_

_His angers seemed to dissapate and was seemingly replaced by some sort of anguish or grief. She had never seen him so forlorn. It made her heart clench and made her feel very uncomfortable, so she tried to change the subject. "I would like to thank you for the knives you gave me. It was a really thoughtful gift, and I love them. But if you think you can skip our unarmed training lessons, you are sadly mistakn."_

_Loki merely nodded. They ate the rest of the meal in silence, and Loki excused himself as soon as it was acceptable for him to retire, claiming he was exhausted and needed a good night's rest. Sif watched his receding form with sadness in her eyes, and thought about going after him to work out whatever it was he was feeling, but when Thor stood up, walked over and extended his hand for her to take, she promptly forgot about him, took the hand and left the palace on the arm of the blond prince, never once looking back. If she had, she might have seen a pair of sad emerald green eyes, watching her disappear into the night._

The hooting of a bird shook her from her reverie. By now, tears were streaming down her face. She could remember it as if it were yesterday. So many things that did not seem clear at the time were crystal-clear now. Her flushing with excitement when she discovered Loki had been in her room, Loki who had lost all appetite when Thor asked Sif to accompany him, how hurt he was that neither Thor or Sif invited him to come along, and especially the pain in his eyes when she abandoned him to spend the evening with Thor. If she could, she would grab young SIf, punch her in the face and tell her to stop looking at Thor and to see that she already had the man of her dreams. Alas, even one as mighty as the Goddess of War has no say on the flow of time. She would have to live with the consequences of young Sif's actions for the rest of her days.

She was finally ready to depart. But, she still had some planning to do. She left her chambers and went to the library. Loki, in his eternal quest for knowledge, once stumbled upon a bunch of sketches. Some research on his part showed them that they were no mere sketches, but floor-plans of important buildings all over the Nine Realms. There was a sketch of Gladsheim itself, palaces on Vanaheim and Alfheim, maps to the cities of the Dwarves in Nidavellir, somehting called the Houses of Parliament on Midgard. But there was one specific map she was looking for, the one that Loki himself showed her in all his excitement. A detailed map of Utgard and the palace. The maps were old, for they were drawn before the Great War, but with some luck, it wouldn't have changed that much. When she found what she was looking for, she rolled it up and put it quickly in her sack, before she could be stopped by an angry librarian.

She was now ready to depart. All that she needed to do was find a path into Jotunheim, for she could not use the Bifrost, for it would give her presence away. She could only hope the pathways were still free. Loki once told her that most of the pathways are in the mountains, and the one to Jotunheim was in a small cave, a crack, at the base of Mount Skarstind. It was a few leagues out of the city, but Loki had placed magical wards around it nonetheless, to stop them from entering Asgard that way. She could only hope that they would not work on her. No one in Asgard had the strenght to break through Loki's wards, not even Amora and Lorelei combined. 

The ship brought her to the base of the mountain. The guard operating it told her that he would wait for two days for them to come back, and then he would return to the city. She thanked him, hopped of and began to search for the crack in the mountain. Unforunately, that was easier said than done, for there were a lot of fissures and holes in the side of the mountain. More than once she accidentally stumbled into a troll lair, and although she could dispatch them with ease, it cost her precious time.

Time was working against her. Soon it would be getting dark, and she would have to call of the search, make a fire and wait until the dawn came, for it would be too dangerous to continue seeking. Frustrated, she dove into another cave. But immediately she felt a familiar pull; Loki's Seiðr. She had found the cave. She took a tentative few steps forward, cautiously waiting for any countermeasures to activate, but nothing happened. Sif breated out and laughed. It was just as in their childhood. Loki made barriers that only she could break, or that would ignore only her. It was a very useful trick if he only wanted her to find him. And now, it permitted her to go after him.

She took a deep breath. _This is it! My life, Loki's life, Ygddrasil's life are all at stake here. Failure is not an option, Sif. You owe it to yourself and to him to rescue him. Show them that there is no greater fury than that of a woman whose wedding day got ruined._

She closed her eyes and stepped forward. Immediately she was engolved in a cold so terrible that it would freeze your very heart. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

A dark, starless sky. Black clouds massing above her head. A blizzard raging over fields of ice as far as the eyes could see.

_Jotunheim._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done. Took me long enough. But we're getting closer to the end. It has been almost a year since I started writing this, and although I have not always faithfully updated as I should have, I still enjoyed writing it, and I hope you have as much enjoyment reading it.  
> If you do, let me know. Give Kudos or send a comment. Both are equally appreciated.
> 
> I hope I won't take too long to wrap this up, I have a new story that I want to write.


	37. Devil in distress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marvel owns Thor, Disney owns Marvel, Sony owns Spiderman (Spiderman is coming to the MCU, yay) and I own nothing except my imagination and the computer I'm using to write this story.

_Of all the places in the Nine Realms, this is one I never hope to visit again,_ Sif thought grimly as she observed the seemingly endless expanses of ice. No, not endless. She squinted her eyes, and could just barely make out the structure of a great wall.  _Utgard. It must be a days walk from here. And no cover whatsoever. Oh, this is going to be fun._

 _Well, it's no use waiting around,_ she thought to herself, but as soon as she made a single step, her legs gave away and she fell on her knees, panting. The trip here must have worn her out more then she would have suspected. Then again, Loki had warned her that travelling between realms is something that requires a lot of a man's strength.  _It's no use dragging myself over this plain while half dead. Better to rest a few hours and depart then. It might be prudent to find some shelter though._ She took a look at her surroundings and found out that she was standing at the base of a massive cliff that went on for miles. Also, there was not a single batch of trees to discover that might be used for shelter. The wind that was pounding against her was unrelenting though, so she made due with a few overhanging rocks, anything to get out of the relentless blizzard. She sat down and ate a bit to recover. She was chilled to the bone, but she did not risk to make a fire. She wrapped her furs securely around herself and willed herself to catch some sleep. If someone discovered her now, she would not have the strength to fly or fight anyway.

 She woke up a few hours later from a very fitful sleep, filled with images of Loki getting burned, quartered or disembowled. She cast a glance at the sky, finding it still dark.  _Of course it's dark. It's always dark here, it seems. Hopefully it will provide for some cover, shielding me from enemy eyes._ Then again, she thought, creatures that live in this place must have gotten used to it by now.  _A bit of Loki's magic would come in very handy,_ she reckoned. She got up, buckled her glaive and started the long, arduous march over the ice caps. The unsteady footing coupled with the fear of being discovered made the crossing a slow and cautious affair, and despite being nimble of feet, she almost lost her balance a few times.  _Careful now, Sif. Any mistake might be a fatal one._ Slowly but surely, however, the wall in the distance grew until it loomed above her. She spotted a gate in the distance, and a road leading up to it. The road itself was abandoned for the most part, littered with holes because of neglect, as so much else in Jotunheim, but the occasional cart made it's way to the city, so she stayed clear of it. A couple of sentries were waiting at the end of the road, and more were patrolling the ramparts above the gate.  _There are too many of them. There is no passing that way without raising the alarm. And even if I did manage to take them out quietly, someone is bound to notice._ She toyed with the idea of hiding in one of the carts, but dropped it when she witnessed the guards going through the wares of what seemed to be a hunter, who was protesting loudly against their treatment, but quieted down when one of them backhanded him.  _No going in through there,_  she surmised.  _Better look for a way around._

It seemed luck was on her side though. The wall, although huge, a relic from Jotunheims' days of glory, once an impenetrable curtain of massive ice, had fallen into disrepair, after Asgard's troops had breached it in the final battle of the Great War. Some repairs had been made, but fissures littered the otherwise smooth surface of the ice. Most of these holes had been filled, but only those big enough for a Frost Giant to fit through. Smaller cracks were left open, and after a bit of searching and half an hour of walking, pressing herself as close to the wall as possible, she found one large enough to squeeze herself through. Once on the other side, she looked around, but the area was deserted. She took a moment to take in her surroundings.  _Hmm, it seems I'm at the left side of the city, right underneath the fortress. Now all I need is to find a way in._

Suddenly, she heard the noise of footsteps.  _Guards approaching,_ flashed through her mind, and she looked around in panic.  _Shite, no cover._ Her hand went to her glaive, hoping to kill those guards before they could raise the alarm, but then her eyes fell on the crack in the wall.  _If I keep quiet, they might pass me by and leave. If not, I will not be able to defend myself there._ The doubt kept her nailed to the ground, paralyzed by uncertainty, but when the first guard rounded the corner, her instinct took over and she wriggled herself back in the hole. She breathed in relief, until she saw that one of the daggers on her belt had fallen off, caught behind the ice, and was now lying in plain view for the Jotuns to see, if they happened to look at the crack in the wall.  _Bugger! Is it too late to grab it? Yes, they are there already. Shite! Please do not see the dagger._ she prayed fervently while she held her breath, hoping the guards would pass her by without noticing it. By the sound of the footsteps, there were two guards, and they were speaking animatedly to one another.

"So, what do you think about the new guests our queen has been entertaining lately?" the first one said

"Don't like them. Fire Giants and whatnot. She should know better than to turn to them. Useless lot, all of them." the other replied

"Don't let Skaadi hear you say that, or she'll unleash her hounds upon you. Saw those things rip an aurochs apart in less then a minute."

"At least it would be a quicker and cleaner death then the one the Liesmith will be getting" remarked one of them.  _Loki. He's talking about Loki._

"Apparently not, it would seem."

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't you hear? They want that piece of shit alive. They want information or need him to do something, I guess."

"NO!" bellowed the other guard, and he gave a bucket a vicious kick. The force of the kick sent it flying and it crashed against the wall, right next to the fissure, and shattered into thousand pieces.

"Calm down, before you get us into trouble." the other guard hissed.

"The Destroyer must die! I have sworn it. He killed my brother." he grounded out. "If they won't do it, I'll do it myself." His right arm became encased with ice, making a spike, and he moved to push the other guard out of the way, who put himself squarely in his path.

"Don't be foolish, Ulf. Don't throw your life away for him. I don't like this any more then you do. But it is said they have a far greater punishment in store for him."

This seemed to cool the other Frost Giant down a bit. "Yeah, I guess you're right. By Hela, whatever they are doing to him right now must be extremely painfull. I can hear him scream all the way from the dungeons."

"Nothing more than he deserves, the vile dog." the first guard spat.

"What do they need him alive for?" the other asked.

"Do you think I'm privy to the queen's coucil?" the first one mocked. "All I know is that Lord Thanos wants him to be kept alive."

"Lord Thanos. Since when do we listen to Lord Thanos?"

"I would keep my tongue if I were you, brother. I have seen him, and he is not to be trifled with. When his gaze passed over me, I had to fight to not ran away in terror. I never fealt such dread in my life. He is... something else. Ancient. Powerful. Dangerous." He gulped. "But he delivered us the Liesmith. And soon, Asgard itself will burn, and we will take our rightful place in the Nine Realms once more."

"That I'll drink to." the other said, and they walked away. Sif finally released the breath she had been holding  the whole time, and being a little dizzy, felt sideways onto the ice. She felt an odd mix of fear and relief.  _He's still alive. Focus on that. Don't think about the rest. He's still alive!_

_But how 'alive' is alive?_

******

Getting into the castle was not as difficult as she had anticipated. There were windows large enough for her to pass through, and one of them was ideally located near a low roof from a nearby building. A small jump and she was inside. Now all she had to do was find the entrance to the dungeons, wich was easier said than done. The palace was a maze inside, with narrow corridors, large hallways, and all of them resembling one another. Thanks to the sketches she had seen in Asgard, she had an idea of where the entrance was located, if it had not fallen out of use since the creation of the map, but finding it would prove to be difficult. She knew it was supposed to be in one of the antechambers of the Grand Staircase, wich would be situated in the middle of the stronghold. This would mean that half a castle and probably hundreds of Jotuns stood between her and Loki. She sneaked down the corridors, fixated on not making a single sound, ears pricked on every possible sound. She had a couple of narrow escapes though, where she just managed to jump into a room when a servant rounded the corner, or snuck past a guard when he was looking the other way. Her heart was pounding so loud that she envisioned that the whole of Jotunheim could hear it. Every muscle in her body was cramped, aching to stretch, adrenaline was coursing through her body, and she did not release her breath until she reached the dungeon entrance. She descended the stairs slowly.

She almost fainted from shock when a loud wail pierced the silence. It took her a few seconds to calm herself and let her heartbeat drop to normal levels, when another scream of agony resounded in the narrow staircase, followed by sounds of a body thrashing around.  _Loki!_ In all the years she had known him, all the grievous wounds he had suffered on a quest gone wrong, never once had something been capable of making Loki lose control like that. Whatever they had done to him must be horrible beyond imagining. Sif nearly threw up at the mere thought of it. She continued descending the stairs, and took the passage to the right, following the sounds. The closer she came to the source, the more her heart clenched and the more she swore bloody vengeance on whoever put Loki through this. After Sif would be done with the Jotuns, they would have wished Loki had succeeded in wiping them out with the Bifrost. 

She rounded another corner and stood face to face with the biggest Frost Giant she had ever seen. Arms and legs the size of small trees, he towered over Sif. He was so big that he probably wouldn't have even seen her if she had not bumped into him. But now, their eyes met and she saw understanding dawning in them. He opened his mouth to raise the alarm, but Sif, already scrambled back on her feet, pounced on him, dagger at the ready. Her weight flung against him caused him to topple over. She clamped a hand over his mouth, ignoring the burn that was already blackening her palm, and after some brief resistance from the Giant, who was still too shocked to react properly, she drove the dagger slowly into his neck, still covering his mouth while the giant shook and twitched until he finally went limp. Only then she threw herself of his body, writhing in agony while she cradled her blackened hand. The frostbite had seeped into her very bones and looked, smelled and felt dead.  _Eir can heal this. I think._ She tore a strip from her tunic and wrapped it around her hand. It did little to dull the throbbing, but at least it wouldn't hurt more if she touched something else.  _Should have worn gloves,_ she thought wryly. 

After pulling the body in an alcove and covering it up as best she could, she continued until she reached a dead-end corridor. The door on the right was not fully closed, and she could hear ragged breath coming from inside, followed by another hoarse scream. Dagger at the ready, she edged towards the door, and after listening for other people in the room, she pushed it open. 

SIf had prepared to find Loki the victime of torture. She knew a bit about Jotun punishment for traitors, and Loki was a traitor of the worst kind to them, a man who tried to wipe out his entire kin. She was prepared to see something horrible. Nothing, however, could prepare her for what she saw.

She was standing in a large oval room, lit by torchlight. In the center of the room was a large black stone, with a figure bound to it with thick ropes. Above it was a platform, and on that platform lay a giant snake. The mouth of the snake was hovering over the body, its fangs bared. Even from this distance, she could see venom gathering at the point, forming a drop, growing until it was too large, and then it fell. When the venom came in contact with the skin of the man, he screamed and thrashed, and she could see why. Everwhere the venom had been, the skin had been blistered, cracked, blackened, dead, like meat that has been in the fire for too long. Angry red welts had appeared all over his body. She moved closer, and when another drop fell, she could hear it sizzle, could smell the flesh burning, could see the smoke rising. She looked at the man and gasped. His face was beaten up and his torso might have been black, but she could recognize those green eyes everywhere, even if they were bleary with pain.

"Loki!" she whispered. "What have they done to you?" His head turned, like he had heard her, but then another drop fell, and his eyes shut while he made a painful grunt. 

"So, another one comes to see the Worldbreaker." his voice was hoarse from the screaming. "Come to enjoy your handywork? Your victory?" Another drop, another scream. "Whatever you do, you won't get my cooperation, so if that's what you're after, you'll be disappointed." he gave a rough little laugh. "Kill me and be done with it."

"Shh, Loki, it's okay, no one is going to hurt you anymore." she calmed him down, for he was talking too loud, and she did not want to attract any undue attenion.

Loki opened one bleary eye and looked at her. "Sif? What devilry is this?"

"No devilry, beloved. Now hush. I will get you out of here." She drew her dagger to cut the ropes, but had to back away when Loki began trashing violently.

"Stay away from me. Did he not think I would not see through this ploy? Using her against me, like you have before, Thanos? Running out of ideas?" he challenged, but shrieked when another drop fell.

"Loki, I assure you, it is me. No ploy, just me." her heart ached when he saw the look of terror in his eyes.

"You're not her. You can't be her. She's in Asgard. I told her to stay away, that I'm a lost cause. She is wise, she would have seen reason, she would not have come."

"You always had little faith in those who love you." she scolded gently. A flicker of doubt flashed in his eyes at her words, but were soon replaced with a mix of wariness and terror.

"You're lying. You must be. Get away from me, vile creature. You will not hurt me." He was tugging at his bonds now, and it seemed the snake was responding to his efforts to get away, for the drops seemed to fall in much quicker succession.

 _This is getting ridiculous. I'm getting him out of here, with or without his consent._ She looked around the room for anything that might help her, and her eyes fell on a large bowl lying abandoned a few feet away from the stone. It was completely black on the inside.  _They must have used this bowl to catch the venom with it._ And suddenly, an idea sprang forth in her mind. Even if she could not gain his trust with it, she would be able to ease his suffering somewhat. She walked back towards the stone, and just as the drop was about to fall, she held the bowl over Loki's body and caught it. Loki had his eyes clenched in dread, fearing the horrible pain he was about to experience, but when that did not happen, he warily opened one eye and looked at her.

"What are you doing?" he rasped. _  
_

"What do you think I'm doing. I'm making sure that this does not touch your skin."

"But why?"

"Because I love you, and don't want to see you suffer, and because I'm getting you out of here." she was becoming impatient. She would prefer if he worked with her, but she was not above dragging him out of here.

"Sif?" he asked incredulously.

"Finally you believe me." she breathed in relief, but her smile fell when his face contorted in anger.

"What are you doing here, fool? I told you to stay away! You  _promised_ to stay away."

"I lied!" she said easily, but when he looked at her indignantly, she lost her patience. "Don't give me that look!" she snapped. "What would you have me do? Write you off as a lost cause? Just accept that you were gone and that there was nothing I could do about it? Leave you here to suffer? You know I could not do that!"

"I would have you stay safe!" Loki whispered, and looked, his eyes pleading for her to leave him behind and get herself to safety.

"How can I be safe when war is on our doorstep? No one is safe. Most likely we will all die, but I would have you by my side if that happens. Life without you is simply not worth it, Loki. And Yggdrasil itself will wither before I give up on you."

He sighed in defeat, but she noticed the faintest quirk of his lips. "I should have forseen this. And admittedly, I would have done the same in your situation."

"I made a vow, Loki. Well, I was going to make a vow, but the statement is no less true. I will stand by you, in sickness and in health. Whatever happens, I will always be on your side."

"And I on yours."

"Great! Now let's get you out." she shifted the bowl to her left hand,(she had to supress the urge to scream when her wounded hand had to carry that weight) , and pulled a dagger out of her belt. "These ropes are unlike any I have ever seen." she stated. They were thick, red and slimy, and a horrendous smell came off it. It reminded her a bit off...

"Those are not ropes." Loki said in a small voice. Her eyes met his, and they were filled with a distant pain. Then, her eyes travelled downwards, over his blackened shoulder and ruined torso until they rested on his abdomen. The flesh was also blackened and dead, but she could still make out a great white scar. Slowly it dawned on her. 

"Are those your..."

"Innards, yes."

She did throw up then. She was holding Loki's entrails in her hands. They cut him open, pulled them out and used them to bind him to the rock. "Do we need to, you know.... put them back?" she asked in a small voice.

"I don't think so. When they started to pull them out, I fainted, and when I woke up, I had this queer feeling in my stomach. I think they grew back somehow. Perhaps that was supposed to be part of my punishment, that every time they needed fresh ropes, they knew where to get it."

"Well lucky us then." she stated grimly, and began cutting through the innards with her dagger. It was the single most revolting thing she had done in her entire life. Blood and gore made her hands sticky, and the entrails were very slippery, making it difficult to cut through them. The fact that she could only use one hand and that the bowl was getting heavier did not make things any easier. Plus, the mere thought had her stomach heaving. When at long last the last of the entrails snapped, she threw up again. She felt slightly better after that. She stood up and pulled Loki to his feet, immediately supporting him when his knees gave way.  _Understandable, after what he has been through. It must have been quite taxing on his strenght._

"I think I can manage, thanks." He stated, but after a few steps, he faltered, and she had to rush to his side again.  _Stupid male pride._ _  
_

"How about you lean on me for the time being, okay?" Loki snorted, but did what she asked.

"I assume you have a plan?"

 _Stars and Branches, how could I have been so stupid. I was so focused on getting to Loki that I did not even think about how I was going to get him out._ _Curse my rashness._ She pondered for a while. "It all depends on how much time we have until they have discovered that you are gone."

"I can conjure an illusion to take my place, but I don't know how long it will hold, for my seiðr is weakened and with the venom falling, I'm not sure if it will last."

"Well, there is a postern gate close by that gives acces to the western planes. From there we'll head north to the passage that will take us to Asgard. After we're through, we'll have to block it somehow."

Loki looked pensive. " I could try closing it with Seiðr. Theoretically, that should work, but it would require a great deal of energy, and I would not be able to do it immediately after arriving."

"Well, with some luck, they won't see us going in there, so we'll have all the time in the world."

"And if we don't have that luck?"

Sif chose not the anwser that question, but, pulled him towards the exit. She cast one last glance into the room before closing the door behind her. An illusion-Loki had taken the real Loki's place, but even from here, she could see that it was too shiny. It would not fool anyone who would want to take a closer look. But all it needed to do was to buy them some time. 

When they reached the top of the stairs, she peered around the corner. No one. The Norns truly were on her side tonight. She signalled Loki, who dragged himself to her location. She pulled him into a alcove.

"Stay here. I'm going to open the postern gate. You stay out of sight."

Loki seemed like he had a thing or two to say about her plan, but her no-nonsense look silenced him, and he nodded grumpily. She gave him a quick peck on his cheek and crept outside. There were only a few guards guarding the postern gate, and they were dispatched easily enough. She pulled the lever and the gates opened. She held her breath, waiting for someone to come check on the gate, but no one came. When she returned to Loki, he had one of his silver daggers at her throat before he realised it was her.  _Good. His seiðr is returning._ Loki cast a quick illusion spell over them, and they left through the gates unscated. They were free.

 

****

 

They were walking for half an hour now, and the cliffside was getting ever closer, but was still a good distance away. Sif was tense the whole time, not believing there luck. Every five seconds or so, she would glance behind her, nervously, for any sign of discovery. Loki had noticed.

"Oh, come on Sif, don't you think..."

"No, don't say it. Do not tempt the Norns, not this time."

"That if they would notice..."

"Loki, shut up!" she warned nervously.

"They would have done so by now? Stop worrying. We're safe."

The words had not left his mouth when behind them, bells began to sound in alarm, and suddenly, the air was filled with shouts. Sif rounded on Loki, furiously. "You just had to do it, didn't you? You really could not resist?" 

But Loki wasn't listening. He was staring at the gates, paralyzed, and did not move until they burst open and giant dogs leapt out of them, followed by Skaadi and other Jotuns. Then, he seemed to regain the use of his legs. "Skaadi has released her hounds. Run!" he yelled and pulled Sif with him. 

She did not know how long they were running. It seemed the pursuers were gaining rapidly, while the cliffside crept closer at a snail's pace. Her entire body was lanced with pain, every breath was an agony on itself, and her knees were torn open from falling. It would not be long now before the dogs caught up with them, and even if she could kill them all (which she doubted) she could not do so in time to get away before the others arrived. But finally, she saw the crack in the cliff.  _The way home. At last._   But when she heard a strange, wheezing sound, she tore her eyes from the crack and looked up in the sky. She had to struggle not to fall over. 

A giant ship the size of Gladsheim was hovering above the landscape. It had the form of a giant letter H and white of color, although it was more like it was devoid of color. There was no doubt in her mind that this was Thanos' ship, for she could not imagine either Skaadi of Surtur having acces to such advanced technology. It was truly a marvel, but now it only filled her with more dread.  _He's here._ _  
_

A bark shook her out of her reverie, and she turned just in time to catch the hound as it pounced on her. She felt its teeth digging in her already wounded arm, but when she buried her dagger in his neck, it stilled. She shoved the body of her, stood up and ran on. It seemed that dog was much faster than the other ones, for there was still some distance between her and them.

Finally, at long last, they reached the small cave. Diving inside, they halted. Both were panting, and Loki had a sheen of sweat on his face, and looked even paler then usual.

"I can't close the portal. Travelling to Asgard would take up more energy then I currently posses. I would almost certainly faint." he had a sad look on his face, but he had a strange glit in his eye, something made of steel.

"But what are we going to do? We can't exactly show them the way into Asgard." she glanced over Loki's shoulder and saw their pursuers nearing.

"No, we can't." Loki said. Then, before she could say anything, he swept her up in a kiss, whispered "I'm sorry" in her ears, and gave her a shove. She fell backwards into the portal, and the last thing she saw before it's magic took her away was Loki's sad smile and a wall of ice coming down.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, then click the "kudos" button. If you have questions or comments, don't hesitate to write me. I'm even open to criticism, as long as it's constructive, of course.


	38. A Liar's End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All rights to the Marvel Cinematic Universe and it's characters belong to Marvel and Disney

For what seemed like ages, Sif was staring to the place where the path had been, looking, but not quite seeing. She could not quite grasp what just happened, it seemed so unreal. Her eyes must have been deceiving her. Loki was slippery as a snake, there was no way that... it just could not be that.... He was a survivor, surely he could survive this. In her mind, the scene was constantly replayed. A smile, a kiss, a shove, and the collapsing of the cave. Loki's way of ensuring her and Asgard's safety. He could not muster enough magic to close the portal, so he brought down the ridge upon it instead. And upon himself. There was no way he got out of there in time.

 _He's dead. He's really dead,_ a detached voice in her head seemed to say.  _Gone! Gone forever!_ To her surprise, she did not break out in sobs, nor did she react in any way. She just stared blankly at the wall, sitting on her knees. That's how the soldier found her, and after failing to rouse her, when concern triumphed over caution, he scooped her up in his arms, walked back towards his ship and set course towards Gladsheim.

****

She barely registered when the guard carried her into the houses of healing and laid her down on a soft bed. She did not notice when Eir and her healers flocked around her, healing her wounds, trying to patch her up. Her left hand, it turned out, was in really bad shape and she would have to stay the night to recover. She did hear Eir asking her questions, or Thor storming in, brow furrowed in worry. She saw that he was speaking to her, but did not even bother to find out what he was saying. For what could possibly matter in all the Nine Realms now that Loki Odinson was no more? She did not know. If only Loki were here, he would know what to do if he wasn't here anymore. 

After a while, Thor gave up trying to get a reaction out of her and sat down, burying his head in his hands. It was clear that he was nearing desperation. He was probably silently berating himself for allowing Sif to go after Loki. Not only had she failed to bring him back, she also lost herself in the process. He only just lost his brother, and now his dear friend was in shock and as lifeless as a plant. Still, he would not have been able to stop her even if he had tried. If only she would tell him what happened. But Eir was right, she had to rest, to ease her mind. Who knows what she had been through?

He stood up to leave, just as the Warriors Three burst through the door, demanding to see their friend and companion. Thor, wanting to give Sif the rest she needed, quietly herded them back out, stating that Sif needed to sleep.

"How is she? What happened in Jotunheim?" Fandral asked.

"I don't know! All I know is what the guard told me, that she instructed him to wait three days for her and then return. He was waiting for them when he heard a loud noise, like a mountainslide. When he went to investigate, he found this cave, and Sif was just sitting there, staring in front of her. He realized she was in some sort of trance, and when he failed to get her out of it, he brought her here. She had a serious injury on her left hand, likely frostbite, possibly from a Jotun. Eir has been treating her ever since, but she still hasn't responded to anything." he sighed sadly.

"And what about Loki?" Volstagg inquired.

"All I know is that he isn't in Asgard. But I know Sif, and she would not have left my brother unless..." he trailed off. 

"He was beyond saving." Hogun finished for him. Thor nodded, tears streaming down his face. Just when he thought he had his little brother back, the Norns snatched him away.  _Loki gone, Mother dead, Father asleep, Sif half-dead._ The burden of the throne and the responsibility for Asgard rested solely on his shoulders, and Thor found himself hopelessly inadequate for the job.  _I meant it when I said Loki understood ruling better then I ever could._

"I'm sorry, my friends, but I'm going to my chambers. I need to be alone for a while. Oh, and let Sif sleep. She has been through a lot and needs to rest." He clasped them on the shoulders one by one, giving them a small, watery smile. They gave their condolences, wished him well and left. 

He headed towards his chambers and slammed the door shut behind him before dropping on his knees and yelling in despair. Sobs wracked his body as the God of Thunder dropped his forehead to the cool floor and cried openly, not caring what the people might think. For tonight, he was not the Crown Prince of Asgard and temporary king, but just a man who lost his only brother, and possibly their best friend.

After a while, when he had no more tears left to spill, he collected himself, washed his face, waited for his puffy eyes to return to their normal state and left his chambers. He had a kingdom to rule. 

 _And a funeral to plan,_ he thought grimly.

***

The next couple of days there was no improvement in Sif's condition. Her body was functioning properly, but her mind was gone, it seemed. She was like a husk, an empty shell. "The candles are burning, but there is no one at home!" a crass guard had quipped before being punched in the jaw by Fandral. Thor and the Warriors Three were getting anxious, for with each passing day, recovery seemed less and less likely. According to Eir, Sif had lost the will to live, and that could be very dangerous, fatal even. But there was no one who could get her out of it, no one but herself. So, powerless to do anything, they watched her slip away further and further. 

Yggdrasil itself, however, did not slow down to allow the friends their mourning, not for the Shieldmaiden, nor for their other fallen comrade. The battle that was looming over the horizon was creeping ever closer, and the whole of Asgard was on edge. The Tesseract remainedl unavailable to them to use as a weapon, thanks to Loki's wards. More then once, Thor had wondered why they had not disappeared when his brother died. Of course, Loki might have taken measures that they remained active even in case of his demise. Of course, another possibility was...  _no no no, don't go down that road. Don't torment yourself with it._

However, with the battle drawing ever nearer, it was time to finally call Asgard's vassals to honour their oaths and assist their liege lords in battle. He sent out summons to Vanir, Alfar and Dwarves, to ride to Asgard's aid. And one by one, they came.

First were the armies of Vanaheim, Asgard's sister realm and closest and truest ally ever since the conclusion of Aesir/Vanir war. They brought as many man as they could spare,  for they could not leave their homes unprotected. Most of them melee fighters, lightly armored.most of them melee fighters, lightly armored. Behind them oxes and mules were pulling heavy carts with supplies to maintain the armies. At the head of the column rode their king, Njord, Father of Freyr, king of Alfheim, and Freyja, Godess of Beauty. He was a good friend of Odin and a loyal supporter. After spotting Thor in the distance, he rode away from his troops and towards him.

"Hail, Prince Thor. It is good to see you, although I wish it was under happier circumstances" he greeted him.

"King Njord, you are a sight for sore eyes. We owe you and the whole of Vanaheim a debt of gratitude." Thor nodded back curteously.

"Never let it be said that Vanaheim forsakes his vows. We will stand with you, our liege lords, now and always." He clenched his fist on his heart. 

"Asgard will remember this, Njord. Signal your men to set up camp between the outer and inner wall. But you must stay. I hope you'll do me the honour of dining with me tonight?"

"The honour would be mine, Prince Thor." just when he rode away, the Bifrost flashed again and the hosts of the Light Elves were marching over the bridge towards the city. Thor never had much love for the Elves, their ethereal beauty and aloofness put him ill at ease. Loki, however, was fascinated with the Alfar because of their connection to the world and Yggdrasil, and their skills in the art of Seiðr. Loki had even once petitioned Odin to get leave to study in Alfheim at the court of the king. Odin, however, had rejected this idea, stating that real men fought with weapons and not smoke on the wall, and that bravery and valour was to be valued higher then trickery and deceit. Loki had fallen silent, hung his head in defeat and left Odin's chambers. Afterwards, he began his lessons with Mother.

But now, these strange beings were marching into Asgard in full force. Thor watched them come by and waited patiently for his old friend to arrive. After the last lines had marched through, a tall, muscular man riding on a large shining boar landed on the bridge. That man was the Vanir Freyr, son of Njord and brother of Freyja, by the grace of the Norns king of Alfheim and one of Thor's oldest friends. The boar he was riding was dwarf-made and answered to the name Gullinbursti. When he saw Thor, he roared, dismounted and pulled him into a hug, wich Thor easily returned.

"Thor, my friend, it's been too long. Has Asgard forgotten my name? Have the maidens forgotten my face?"

"Neither have forgotten you, old friend. You seemed to have made quite an impression." Thor couldn't help himself and laughed. When with Freyr, merriment came easily

"Well, I have a reputation to uphold, after all." he laughed.

"I'm sure you do. How's Gerðr doing?" Gerðr was Freyr's Jotunn wife and he loved her dearly. He even gave up his magic sword so that he could marry her.

"She's fine. I've trusted her to protect Alfheim in my absence. Long may she defend it if the battle goes ill. Say, how's Loki doing? I'm suprised he isn't here with you. I always perceived that forays of diplomacy were more his thing then yours."

Thor looked downward and swallowed, before meeting Freyr's eyes again. "The situation is dire, Freyr, but I prefer to give this story only once, if you wouldn't mind. Dine with us tonight, and I'll explain everything then."

Freyr seemed like he wanted to question Thor further, but the activation of the Bifrost and the first Dwarves pouring through cut short his reply and he rode back to his troops. Thor turned to greet the Dwarven host, wich was smaller than that of Alfheim and Vanaheim, but the Dwarves were armed to the teeth. Their king, Hreiðmarr, and his sons were at the head of the column, and after greeting him courteously, and extending the dinner invitation and pointing the Dwarves to the spot where they could set up camps, he flew back to the city to get a few hours worth of rest before facing them again. He removed his armor and dropped on the bed.  _Politics are tiresome._

****

 A memorial was to be held for Loki the next day. The whole of Asgard, and the lords of Vanaheim, Alfheim and Nidavellir came to pay their respects to the God of Mischief. Of course, this wasn't the first funeral ceremony held for Loki, but Thor found this one a more fitting memorial for his brother. The last time around, circumstances had been different and many viewed Loki as a traitor. Their grief was not genuine, Thor had known, and they were saddened because the Royal family was mourning, not out of respect for the Trickster. After all, who cared about him? He was a coward to the end, a conniving snake that tricked Odin into banishing Thor, then somehow made Odin fall into the Odinsleep so he could take the throne for himself.

 Now, however, the people knew that the second son, the Prince no one cared about, had given his life so that they might be saved. Despite the fact that no love was lost between Asgard and Loki, he had sacrificed himself for all their sakes. It might not have been enough to buy him their unconditional love, but the people felt they owed him their respect. It seemed to many that they had misjudged Loki, and that he might have been someone worthwile after all. So when they released the floating lights while the empty ship made its way towards the waterfall, it was maybe not with genuine sadness on their faces, but with a look of respect. 

_If only Mother could see this. It always pained her to see how unloved Loki was. I saw it, too, but chose to ignore it. But not Mother. Mother knew what he was worth. She never lost faith in him, even when he himself lost faith in him. She believed in him, always and ever. And she was right. As always._

Next to him was Sif. She might not respond to anything, she might not even see the ceremony, she might not even know that her beloved was given the highest honours, but Thor knew it would have been wrong not to bring her here. He knew that she would have wanted it, no matter what the situation. During Loki's first memorial, she held herself strong, looking resolutely forward with a look of steely determination, but he could see the lines of grief edged in her face, the unmistakeable sadness in her eyes. Then, he only knew that Loki had once been her best friend, but in hindsight, the depth of her grief was revealed to him. Now, she simply sat in a chair, empty eyes on the horizon. The only thing that showed that she was alive was how she had one of Astrid's hands clutched in her own. The little girl was there as well, crying her pretty eyes out and clutching to Sif. Thor's heart broke when he let his gaze linger on the little girl.  _Just when she found a family, it was snatched out of her hands and ripped into shreds before her eyes. The Fates have not been kind to this poor girl._ _  
_

Just before the ship got out of reach, Thor signalled a guard and a flaming arrow set the ship ablaze. When it reached the edge, Thor slammed Gungnir on the floor like his father had done at his mother's funeral, and although the ship was empty, starlight rose from it and joined the stars above, shining all the brighter.

_Brother, I know that I have failed you in so many ways. I was arrogant, vain and cruel. I cared naught about the hardships you faced, and I did not appreciate your love and devotion to me until it was too late. I have done you wrong in many ways, brother mine, but I loved you, never doubt that. I still do.Farewell, little brother. May you find the peace in death you did not find in life. Join the halls of our forebears and walk proudly among them, a true son of the House of Odin. And give Mother my love._

When the ship was at last completely burned, he sighed sadly and turned around. Many took this as their sign to leave, and after offering condolences to Thor and Sif, left them. Sif had not given any sign of life, so Thor decided to just bring her back to the healing wing, together with Astrid. They tucked her in, and after Astrid gave her a quick kiss on her forehead, left the room.

****

When Sif dreamt, she dreamt of him.

Memories of the time they spent together flashed before her eyes. She remembered when they first met, bumping into one another in the corridors, Loki's curious and enthousiastic nature cheering her up and making her feel happy and excited. The thrill when he set up a spar against Thor, giving her the opportunity to prove herself. Him cutting her hair, and failing to reproduce it, stealing some from the Dwarves just so he could honor his promise to her. Loki's mouth sewn shut as retribution for his theft. The first time he comforted her when Thor preferred the company of another. The first time they made love. And the second time. And the third time. And then....

_"Come on, Thor, I know a place where no one will bother us." she pulled him along, laughing and kissing his face. His beard scratched her skin and itched a little bit, but she wasn't about to complain about that, not when she was getting what she had wanted for so long. He could be covered entirely in hair and she would not have cared._

_"Where are you taking me, Sif?" Thor asked huskily, nibbling on her ear. She put a hand on his chest and pushed him away, laughing mischievously and running away._

_"Catch me and you'll see!" she said coyly, and ran down the path. She could hear Thor running after her, laughing. Just when they reached the clearing, he had caught up with her and tackled her, sending them both sprawling to the ground._

_"Got you." he stated with a proud smirk on his face._

_"So it seems. Now, what are you going to do with me?" she asked breathlessly. She could feel his erection through his breeches, and when she rubbed her thigh against it, he ground._

_"I can think of a thing or two we might do." Thor returned, "but let's move this to somewhere a little more private." He lifted her up in his strong arms and carried her to a large bush, slowly lowering her to the ground. "It is a beautiful clearing, I'll give you that, but I prefer a somewhat secluded place. How did you find this place anyway?"_

_"Lo... I ... I just stumbled upon it one day while walking. I found it a good place to rest and unwind, to escape the madness of the palace." She looked intently at his face. Did he notice? She was a terrible liar, but he seemed to have bought it. She did not know why she didn't just tell Thor the truty, but for some reason, it felt wrong. Thinking about Loki made her feel slightly sick, but she could not figure out why. Perhaps it was because she brought Thor to their sacred, secret spot. Loki would not like that. That had to be it! Another thought crossed her mind. "_ How will Loki react if he hears that Thor and I have gotten together? I mean, he has always supported me to pursue a relationship with Thor, right? He wouldn't mind. I mean, sure, we've slept together a lot now, but that was just for comfort. I needed someone and my best friend was there for me, like always. 'Cause that's all it was, right? Comfort? I mean, he wouldn't have feelings for me or anything? No, impossible, he has always supported me and Thor together. And now I won't have to bother him anymore. He'll be pleased."  _Then, Thor slid a hand down her breeches, and she forgot all her doubts and complaints._

_10 minutes later, she was riding him with wild abandon. She could feel that she was nearing her climax, and she could feel it was going to be a strong one. She panted in exertion, but even their groans could not blot out the sounds of leaves rustling nearby. She looked up, straight in the face of Loki. She screamed and covered herself in embarrassment. But embarrassment was soon replaced by horror when she saw the expression on his face. It was one of bewilderment, anger, hurt and betrayal. Tears were forming in his eyes, and when he looked her in the eye, she could practically hear his heart being ripped into two. And in that moment, the truth which she had been blind to all this time was revealed to her. He loved her. Loki was in love with the Lady Sif. And she had just torn out his heart and ripped it to pieces, spitting on the remains. With a shock of horror, she knew that with one act, she had destroyed the most precious thing in all her life; Loki's frienship and love._

_"Please, brother, could you give us some privacy? We are... busy". Thor said, but his voice sounded like it came from a mile away. That shook Loki out of his shock, and casting her one last look of despair and misery, he took off without saying a single word. Her own heart shattered, and she knew that she had to go after him, try to explain things. She could not lose Loki._

_Thor began to push upwards again, but even he felt that the mood had turned sour. So she slid of him, put on her clothes and ran after Loki. She reckoned he must have fled to his room, so that is where she would start looking. She pushed open the door._

The room she entered, however, was not Loki's chamber, nor was it a chamber in the palace. It was a dark, cavernous hall with little light. And in the middle of the hall lay a motionless figure. Even from this distance, she could see he was in bad shape. His body was a complex tapestry of cuts and bruises. His right arm was lying in an unnatural angle. The scrawny figure was twitching softly, as if he could be kicked any minute.

"Slave!" a voice called.

"I am not your servant. Not then, not now, not ever." the creature whispered, but cried out in pain a moment later.

"We had a deal, Liesmith. You were to bring me the Tesseract, and I would have made sure your death would have been swift and painless. But you betrayed me. I do not like traitors."

"You did not think that I would have given you the Cube? I am no fool. I knew that as soon as you would get your hands on it, my life and that of everyone in the galaxy is forfeit."

"You couldn't have used it against me. I am Thanos. Immortal, all-powerfull and all-knowing. I would have crushed you like the bug you are. Still, I should kill you for your treachery. Fortunately for you, however, I have decided to be merciful. Join me, Loki, and together we will see your destiny fulfilled. You will have your revenge on those who wronged you in the past. You can still fulfill your end of the bargain, and I will keep mine. Deliver the Tesseract to me and you shall rule over Midgard. You will be a king, and all will love you and despair." 

Loki snorted in derision, and spat on the ground. "Don't lie to me, Thanos, lies are my domain. You have no intention of letting me live, just like you have no intention of letting Midgard survive. I would be a fool to accept this bargain, for, contrary to the first time, I have everything my heart desires, the admiration of my people, the approval of my family, the love of my life. You have nothing to offer me, so you better kill me now"

Then, out of the shadows, Thanos appeared, and he grinned widely. "Oh no, why would I do that when this is so much more fun. Death is no punishment to you, Liesmith. You would welcome her embrace. No, first you will obtain it for me, and then I will destroy all that you hold dear and make you watch. Then, you have my permission to die."

"I won't help you. No matter what you'll do to me, I will not obtain the Tesseract from me." he smirked.

"You are strong-willed, that much is obvious. A lesser creature would have broken by now. But you have proven remarkably resilient this time. It seems my old methods don't work anymore. Fortunately, there are other ways of ensuring your ... loyalty."

She could not see the object Thanos was holding in his hands, but whatever it was making the other man flinching and struggling like mad to break free of his bond. Thanos approached him with a malicious look in his blue eyes. When he bended over Loki, he screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

****

"LOKI!" Sif shouted, and she bolted upright. She looked around to find herself in vaguely familiar surroundings.  _The Healing Chambers! What happened? I remember a cave and..._ Images of Loki's sacrifice flooded her mind.  _No, not dead, he's not dead. I saw him._

_That does not mean anything, Sif. Be reasonable. It was just a dream_

_That was no ordinary dream, Sif, that was a vision and you know it. Loki's alive. In Thanos' hands, but alive._

She swung her legs over the bed and stood up, immediately having to grasp for support to avoid falling. _How long was I gone?_ She saw her armor lying on the chair next to her bed and proceeded to dress herself. It was the middle of the night, so most of the Healers would be asleep.  _No use in teling them that I'm leaving. They would probably try to stop me._

She strode out of the Healing Rooms.  _What now? The way to Jotunheim is shut, so unless we try a large-scale rescue mission that could potentially cost a lot of lives, that' s not an option._

She decided to go to Thor first. He should be aware of Thanos' plans, and she felt he was the first who should hear that Loki is alive.  _Thor it is then._ Tying her hair in a loose ponytail, she made her way to Thor's chambers. Whithout knocking, she opened the door and strode in. Thor was on his balcony watching the stars (probably thinking about the Lady Jane), but when he heard the door slamming shut, he looked over his shoulder and when he saw her, his face lit up with joy and happiness, and with a few large strides, he was standing in front of her and pulled her into a massive hug, one which Sif easily reciprocated.

"We thought we lost you. A guard found you sitting in a cave and you did not respond to anything. So the guard brought you to the Healing Rooms and still you would not say a word. It was like you weren't even there."

"I vaguely recall a voice shouting my name, but it was so confusing in there that I thought it was just my imagination."

"Nothing could get you out of that trance. It was like you had lost the will to live. Even during Loki's funeral...."

"Loki's funeral?" Sif asked sharply.

"Well, yes, ... you were there in the cave and he was not, and we assumed it wasn't voluntarily that you left him, so..."

"You thought he was dead?"

"Yes, we... wait, isn't he?"

"I don't know. I saw the ice falling on him, I believed him dead. That is what must have caused my shock. But he's still very much alive, Thor"

"Wait, what? My brother still lives? How do you even know that?"

"I... eu... saw him."

"Saw him? When?" he asked incredulously

"Last night, I dreamed of him. It started off like any other dream, but suddenly, it changed, and I was in this room with Loki and Thanos. He tried to convince Loki to join him in destroying the Nine Realms, but he refused. Then, he took out something and Loki started screaming. I don't know, Thor, but I think he's alive. That was no ordinary dream, Thor. I think it was a vision."

"I don't know Sif. I WANT to believe you, but we don't have any chance of helping him now, wherever he is."

"I know, I just hate feeling so powerless all the time." Sif pouted.

"Say, did you catch a glimpse of the plans Thanos was presenting Loki?"

"I don't know, but I'd bet my glaive that it involves the Tesseract. That thing is bad luck. The Midgardians should have left it in the sea." _  
_

"Agreed. But thanks to Loki's wards, ..."

Thor's voice was cut of by a low rambling, that grew faster until the whole palace was shaking with them. After a few seconds, it subsided, but it had caused some damage. Then, a screamed echoed through the silent halls.

"What was that?" Thor asked.

"I don't know, but I don't like it." 

 Just then, a guard ran into the room, ash-grey and panting. "My prince, Lady Sif, I...."

"Take it easy man. Take a deep breath and gather your thoughts." Sif counselled. The man did just that and turned towards them once more.

"We are under attack, my lady. We do not know where they came from, but they are here. Frost Giants, Fire Giants and other foul creatures. They seem to be coming from the bowels of the castle."

Immediately, Thor's eyes locked with her, and she could read that he was thinking the same thing she was.

The Vault. The Tesseract.  _Loki!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? You thought I had killed off Loki? Of course not! In true Marvel Cinematic Universe style, I made him come back to life, so we'll get to enjoy him some more.  
> If you like this fic, please show your appreciation by leaving a comment or giving kudos.


	39. Harbringer

"Well, I guess that answers our question." Sif remarked, and drew her glaive. Thor summoned Mjolnir, and his armor assembled around him. They strode out of the room, the guard following close behind them. Signs of trouble were everywhere. Large clouds of dust hung in the hallway, a nearby vase had fallen and shattered and several collums had cracks in them. People were running around in panic, and several Einherjar were scurrying around, looking for trouble. When they saw her and Thor, they ran towards them. One of them, an officer, stepped forward.

"My prince, my lady, whatever is the matter? Are we under attack?"

"It appears so. Send a few of your men to round up other soldiers and direct them to the Vault. Another group will take horses and warn our vassals. Ask them to guard Asgard and look out for a direct attack. This could be a large-scale attack, and we wouldn't want them to catch us with our breeches down, now would we?" The captain nodded, gave some orders to his men, and a few of them hastened away. "The rest of you, with us." Thor commanded, and he set of towards the stairs. More and more Einherjar joined them along the way.

"Do you think it's Loki?" Thor whispered quietly, and although he kept his voice level, Sif could feel the anxiety, partly because she felt it herself when she asked herself that same question.  _Could it be Loki? Did he turn? What did Thanos do to him?_

"I don't know." she answered truthfully. "Loki told me he would never aid that monster, but Thanos seemed so sure that he would help him, one way or another. It could be that Thanos is somehow forcing him to do it." The image of Loki trashing and screaming appeared in her mind, and she grinded her teeth. She would kill that thing for what it did to Loki, this she swore on Yggdrassil itself.

They managed to reach the stairs without encountering opposition. Faint sounds of battle could be heard from below. Likely the guards that they had posted in the Vault were putting up a good resistance. Hopefully they could still hold out a little longer. 

"Thor, there you are. And Sif too. What a relief." Out of the dust clouds, Volstagg appeared, followed by Fandral, Hogun and the Avengers minus doctor Banner. A wise choice. Banner, while strong, was difficult to reign in once unleashed, and could cause extensive damage. 

"What is it?" Captain Rogers asked. "First this shock, and then all these noises. What happened?"

"We think they somehow found a way to activate the Tesseract from afar, and have opened a portal, allowing them through. We have to find some way to shut it down." Sif quickly explained.

"Wait a minute!" Tony Stark held up his hand. "You said the Tesseract was safe, that you had all these 'spells' in place so they could NOT use it to get in here."

"There are wards in place to protect it. Loki had cast them himself, they are nigh impossible to breach. The only one who could get through is.... is...."

"Reindeer Games himself." Stark gave her a smug look, "it seems your loverboy has tricked us all again, with his stories about remorse and redemption. What idiots are we, to trust the words of the God of Lies. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on..." he could not finish the sentence, because Sif shoved him against the wall.

"Don't ever speak of Loki like that again, Stark." she hissed through clenched teeth. "you have no idea what he has been through. I know Loki, he wasn't pretending. He was sorry for what he has done." To his credit, the mortal was not cowering in fear, but was giving her a look that shone witht the doubt he was feeling over the whole situation. Sif released him when she felt Thor's hand on her shoulder.

"Please calm down, Sif. Tony meant no disrespect to you or Loki." he spoke softly. Tony, however, huffed.

"I know you guys want to trust him and all, but try to see it from our point of view. He invades our planet with an extraterrestrial army. FACT. He gets his ass kicked by us mere mortals, with the occasional help of a certain god. FACT. We forego our right to deliver justice to him and hand him over to your care to stand trial for his crimes. FACT. He turns up later, not only a free man, but a king as well. FACT. He tells us a tale of redemption which we buy, because he's under a truth serum that we don't even know works on people like you. FACT. His employer turns up and he offers to go with him to save your city. FACT. Then, the palace is under attack from the inside, and they are using the Tesseract to get here, exactly like he did on Earth, getting past security measures HE installed and can only be negated by HIM. Ever heard of Occam's Razor?" When the Asgardians shook their head, he continues. "It is a scientific principle. The principle states that among competing hypotheses that predict equally well, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected. Either we assume that Thanos somehow found a way to control Loki and force him into doing this, or, and due to his reputation, this is the most likely, he lied to us all."he ended with a grim smirk

Silence followed this statement, until Natasha spoke up: "He could be right, Thor. But if he is, nobody blames you for believing him. You desperately wanted your brother and friend back that..."

"No!" Sif said. "Loki might be a master of lies, but even he could not spin a lie so large and foul. I have seen him, in Jotunheim. I have seen what they did to him, and it was no illusion, I assure you. I know it because I felt it, and because I know Loki, better than any of you. I was always the one who could see through his illusions, and this was not one of them." 

Thor turned to her and narrowed his eyes. "What  _did_ they do to him?" concern laced his voice and he was as taunt as a bowstring.

"I.. I can't tell you." Sif swallowed and looked away. Every time the image of Loki bound with his own entrails made her want to simultaneously throw up and kill someone, preferably Thanos. Then, a scream echoed up the stairs from the bowels of the palace. It was a piercing shriek, like none she had ever heard. More noises came, and more shrieks. She looked at Thor, who nodded grimly.

"Prepare for battle!" he ordered, and everyone drew their weapons. A strange metallic buzz signalled the activation of Tony's armor, and he was hovering in the air, palms aimed at the stairs. "Let's move." Thor whispered and descended the steps. Sif signalled the soldiers to move forward, and followed Thor down the stairs. After a few flights, they encountered the first signs of battle. An æsir soldier, lying on his back, a clutching his stomach, where a crude ice blade had destroyed most of his lower regions. He was deadly pale, but still alive. He was shivering like mad and whimpered. His blond hair was matted to his skin hung in his eyes. Sif bowed down to sweep it away. His eyes, glossy with pain, tried to focus on her. He was still so young. A youth, barely old enough to be a soldier. Sif recalled that he was one of her newer recruits. Next to him were three bodies, two Frost Giants and a creature that she did not know and had no intention of ever getting to know.

The soldier, a boy, really, was clutching her arm, and looking up to her with desperate eyes. She knew he sought some form of comfort, but she had no words to offer him, no false reassurances she could or would feed him. So she cradled his head against her chest, stroking his hair. "Ssh. It's okay. You have fought bravely and with honour, son of Asgard. Your ancestors will be proud, and you will take a place of honor between them in the halls of Valhalla. And Asgard will not forget your sacrifice."  _Brynjar, that was his name. Brynjar, son of Cuyler._ "Rest now, Brynjar Cuylerson, and know that you have the eternal gratitude of the Realm Eternal, the Realm you gave your life to protect." She then kissed him on the brow. Despite his grievous injury, Brynjar managed a small smile before his eyes closed forever. She looked up towards one of the soldiers. "Make sure his body is delivered to his family and that he is buried with honor, as befits a champion of Asgard." The soldier nodded, and together with one of his comrades, he gently lifted the body and carried it away.  _So young, s_ he thought wistfully,  _cut down long before his time. How many more will join him before this is said and done? Such reckless hate..._

"We haven't encountered an enemy yet. That means that whatever killed Brynjar must have gone back. There are still men fighting out there. They need our help." she said grimly. She picked up her sword and marched down the stairs. Soon, they arrived at the scene.

Only a few guardsmen were still on their feet, the rest was cut down. Some were still moving, but most of them laid motionless on the ground. A large group of Giants and other creatures was gaining on the remaining guards, pressing them into the corner. With a yell she jumped into the fray, sporting her trademark wolfish grin. Within seconds, the nearest Frost Giant was decapitated. She turned around, just in time to dodge the fiery sword aimed for her neck. She ducked and slashed at his abdomen, cleaving it right open. When the Fire Giant dropped his sword in pain, she stabbed him in the chest. By then the fighting had erupted all around them, and she could hear the hum of Mjolnir as Thor was brandishing it against three foes at once, blasting one away before felling the other two with one swipe, skulls cracking from the impact. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw another Fire Giant attacking, and she could only barely parry his thrust. The giant launched a frenzied attack, and she had great difficulty keeping his sword at bay. When he feinted to the left and she responded, he had the opening he needed. He barrelled against her, sending her sprawling on the ground. The fall made her lose her grip on her glaive and it fell out of her reach. She saw the giant looming over her, but when she tried to raise her shield, he stepped on her arm. The Giant smirked at her.

"The Asgardians must have grown truly weak, if they sent their women to fight their battles." he mocked. "Die, Æsir whore." He lifted his sword, but just when he was about to bring it down, a large round plate collided hard with his head, and he fell on the ground, lifeless. The metal object returned to it's owners hand, who offered his other hand to help her up.

"Thank you." she told Captain America. "You saved my life back there."

"Don't mention it." he said, "that was no way to talk to a lady." he smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"Eh, Cap, she's off limits, I'm afraid. She has a boyfriend, and I've met the guy. He's a piece of work. I'd stay far away if I were you. Apparently she only dates psychos" Stark said as he was blasting foes left and right.

"Shut up, Stark." Rogers called back, but she saw the slight smile on his face. It was the jesting of two comrades-in-arms, and it was clear that, despite their differences, they were a close-knit group. Romanoff and Barton were also doing their thing, downing their enemies with guns and bow alike. The soldiers were holding their own, and soon, the last few remaining invaders were routed, and they retreated back into the darkness of the Vault.

"You have fought bravely, men." Thor said. "A few of you will remain to see to the removal of the bodies and to stop any foe that could slip past us. The rest, with me." They marched towards the Vaults. Ever since Loki's fall, the items themselves had been stored into seperate, well-protected vaults. Most required Gungnir to open them, and seeing that it was currently hidden away In Thor's chamber,  the other artifacts were safe, at the moment. The last Vault, and the most heavily guarded, however, was not. The remaining invaders had gathered around the Vault, and seemed to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. They were cut down easily. That was not, however, the focus of Sif's attention. No, that attention was focused on the tall, lean figure in the center of the room, clad in black, green and gold, sporting a ridiculous golden horned helmet and a gleam of insanity in his eyes. He was the man she both longed and dreaded to see.  _Loki._

"Loki?" Thor said with disbelief, for although he knew, in his heart, that Loki was behind this, he had, just as she had, prayed that it was not so.

"What? You're surprised? Come on, Thor, even you can't be that daft. Of course it's me. Who else would it be?" his tone was mocking, and his eyes were shining with cruel pleasure.

"No, that's not right. It can't be you. Loki is.. Loki was..." Thor trailed off.

"Sorry? Repenting? Seeking redemption? By the Norns, you ARE that daft? You bought that load of Bilgesnipe dung?"

"What?" Sif asked, and she could not keep the anger and hurt out of her voice. "Everything you've said to me? Everything was a lie?"

"Yeah, pretty much all of it."he said almost lazily while he was looking at his nails, appearing perfectly bored."What? You really thought I cared about Asgard, or Odin, or Thor? You didn't really think I loved you, did you? After all you've done to me? You cheated on me with my own brother." Sif closed her eyes in pain while shocked gasps were uttered all around her. She forced the pain away before it could overtake her.

"This is not you, Loki. I know you. The REAL you. Come back to us. Come back to me. Put down the Tesseract and come to us. It's that simple. Please, Loki?" she begged him, tears shining in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." he smirked, "but my master wants his prize, and I will deliver it to him. In return, I will make me King of Asgard and Midgard, and those of you that are not destroyed will bow down before me. Now stand aside!"

"No!" she said, and she blocked his way stubbornly. "You are not going anywhere with that cube. Put it down."

For a moment, he looked at me with the tiniest bit of anger shining from his blue eyes, but the next moment, he smirked and suddenly, he just vanished.

"He's gone." Thor exclaimed. "He teleported away."

"That's impossible. Matter can not be deconstructed in one place and constructed in another." Star drawled. "Basic physics."

"Well, can your 'science' tell me where Loki has gone?" I asked him, and when he failed to produce an answer, I knew he could not think of an answer."

"Eh, people. We have a more pressing matter to concern ourselves with." Barton cut in, and he pointed at the residue energy storing in the Vault. "If that is the same as in the Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility, where we worked on project P.E.G.A.S.U.S, that thing is going to collapse any second now, and probably take a good chunk of the palace with it."

"The man's right, that energy looks highly unstable. This isn't a clean portal like the one Loki opened in New York." Stark told them.

"Shit. What can we do? If that thing collapses, it's going to bring the whole palace down on our heads." Rogers said, hiding his face in his hands.

"Cursing, Cap? Never thought I'd see the day." Stark quipped. _By the Norns, that man really doesn't know when to shut up._

"Shove it, Stark." Romanoff said, "or do we have to lock you in one of these vaults to teach you?"

"Locked... Vault... that's it." she exclaimed. When the rest looked at her in confusion, she explained. "Those vaults are made to be impenetrable, both from outside as from inside. Plus, it's also heavily warded with Loki's seiðr, because breaking the wards would be much more difficult and tiring than circumventing them. If we close the Vault and seal the doors, it might be strong enough to contain the energy wave."  Immedately, the door was closed, and as a member of the royal family, Thor knew how to seal it. Now they could only hope.

"It is my hope that the shockwave can be contained, but I suggest we don't wait here to see what happens." The group turned around and ran back up the stairs. After a few flights, a low rumble could be heard, and soon the floor beneath them began to tremble and shook, harder and harder. Pieces of the ceilings were coming down, crashing on a soldier that could not lift his shield in time, killing him. The tremors grew even stronger, so strong that large cracks began to appear in the walls and roof. Just when Sif had given up hope, the tremors subsided. Gladsheim still stood. It had survived. She released the breath she did not know she was holding, and the rest of them appeared equally relieved. But, with that out of the way, another matter arose; where was Loki, and where was the Tesseract. 

"Where do you think he went?" Fandral asked her. "What is he going to do?"

"Probably going to try to take the Tesseract to Thanos. He can't stay here, because he knows we will find him. He won't be using the Tesseract either, it would take too long to prepare. That leaves only one other option.

"The Observatory. He's going via the Bifrost." Volstagg exclaimed.

"Yes, I think he will."

"But surely, Heimdall will see him coming from miles away." Hogun said.

"You three have always underestimated Loki and his powers. He can move unseen if he wants to. Not only for us, but also from Heimdall. He can shield his presence from his gaze.'

'But that means he has no knowledge of ... and he's preoccupied with... by the Norns." Thor exclaimed. "We must warn him. With some luck, we'll even be there before Loki."

"And how will you get there? If we have to take horses he will be long gone before we come even close to that place." she said.

"And that is why... we're not riding." Thor said with a grin.

***

Sif decided that she hated flying. Well, not when it was in a ship or some kind of vessel, sailing smoothly through the air like through water, no even calmer. That was nice and relaxing. Clinging to Thor while he threw his hammer and was pulled along with it, was decidedly not nice and relaxing. She thought she might be sick, but if it brought her where she wanted to be as fast as possible, she would endure. Buildings flashed by as they soared through the sky towards the Observatory. When Sif glanced downwards, she could see the armies of the Vanir, Alfar and Dwarves. They stood at the ready, prepared to march and fight at a moment's notice. But would it be enough to stop Thanos? Asgard was past it's days of glory, and their allies were also a shade of its former selves. It seemed that only Midgard had made progress in the past centuries.

"We'll be in the Observatory in a minute." Thor yelled at her, trying to raise his voice over the wind that was streaming past them. With some luck, he hasn't reached it yet. We must warn Heimdall and the forward guards." The forward guard was one of Sif's ideas. For centuries, the gaze of the Allseeing Heimdall was the only protection and warning Asgard had against foreign invaders. But recent events had proven that it was unwise to leave the fate of Asgard in the hands of one man, even one as skilled as her half-brother. He could be incapacitated, like Loki had done when he let the Frost Giants into Asgard. If a regiment of guards was posted there, with horses, there was a greater chance that at least one could escape and warn the city.

With a thud, they landed on the edge of the Rainbow bridge. There were no soldiers outside, but there was some commotion from inside the dome. She gave Thor a quick look, nodded and entered, Thor right behind her. After a few steps, however, her foot hit something, , and there was a clanging noise, like she had kicked against something metally. Something that sounded suspiciously much like... Her eyes slowly trailed downwards, towards the floor.

It was a helmet. Her foot had struck a helmet. It was a helmet of the Einherjar, gold with the two horns, not curved backwards like Loki's, but curved towards the middle of the helmet. Also, the head of it's owner was still in it. With difficulty, she tore her eyes away from the dead, unseeing eyes of the man and let them roam over the floor of the Observatory.

It was a massacre. Bodies were sprawled all over the floor in puddles of blood. The walls were sprayed with blood. Broken spears and shattered shields everywhere, swords lying abandoned on the ground or clutched in lifeless hands. It seemed like the entire garrison had been brutally put to the sword. There were only two people left standing.

Heimdall stood on the dais, wielding an Einherjar's sword and shield. His own sword was embedded into the activation mechanism, and the Bifrost was charging up. No one was paying attention to that, however, and certainly not Heimdall, busy as he was trying to fight off what seemed to be five Loki's at once. Every time he took a swipe at one of them, it flickered and faded away, only to be replaced by another one. It seemed that Loki enjoyed playing with him this way. However, once they caught sight of Sif and Thor, their grins disappeared, and they seemed to falter for a moment. And that was all Heimdall needed. He lunged forwards, and by some stroke of luck managed to stab the real Loki in his left shoulder. He fell on the ground with a scream as the other images flickered away. He was cradling his arm and cursing silently under his breath. Sif wanted nothing more than to run up to him and hold him in her arms, but she could not. They needed answers. Heimdall was sweating heavily and wiped his brow before pushing the sword under Loki's chin.

"Surrender yourself, my Prince." Heimdall said in his calm, calculated tones. "You are beaten. Hand over the Tesseract!"

Loki, who had been staring at his arm the whole time finally looked up, and, to everyone's astonishment, began to laugh. Softly at first, but it soon turned into a maniacal cackle. "Beaten, am I? How can you be so sure of that? For all you know, I planned things to go this way."From anyone else, this might seem like harmless bluff, but she knew Loki. She knew him better than anyone else. Loki ALWAYS plans ahead.

"HEIMDALL, WATCH OUT!" she yelled, but it was too late. The kneeling Loki disappeared, only to reappear right behind Heimdall. She screamed, to no avail, when he buried a dagger deep into his neck. She looked on in horror as Heimdall slowly sank to his knees and fell over with a thud. Sif ran towards him. She pulled him on his back. He was still alive, but he was losing a lot of blood, and fast. She applied pressure to his neck, trying to stop the bleeding. Meanwhile, Thor fell to his knees

"NOOOOO!" he cried, "LOKI, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" he looked at his brother in dismay,who was cleaning his dagger with a piece of cloth.

"That?" he gestured at the body, "let's call it 'settling a personal score'. Besides, might as well make an example out of him."

"Example?" Sif asked, her voice trembling with fury and grief.

"That is what awaits you all, you who chose to defy the great Thanos. He will come, and he will conquer, and he will destroy everything that does not bow to him. Let his death serve as a warning: It has begun. IT HAS BEGUN! And you will all burn!" Suddenly, a roar indicated that the Bifrost was ready to operate, Loki jumped through. With a last pull from his seiðr, he managed to dislodge the sword from the mechanism, closing the portal behind him. It clattered on the ground next to its owner. Heimdall was losing conciousness fast. Despite the pressure against his neck, he was still losing too much blood. She picked up the rag that Loki had dropped and pressed that against the wound.

"It's going to be okay." she said, more to herself than to him. After all, how could a world without Heimdall exist. He was like the Allfather; he has always been there in her life, and he always will be. "It's okay. You're going to be fine."

"I will." he croacked, and Sif winced when she heard how weak his voice was. "but not here. Not in this life. Not anymore. Soon I will be gone from this world."

"No, don't say that." she sobbed and she pressed her face against his chest, the cold metal wet with tears.

"But it's the truth." Heimdall stated, before he looked at her with soft eyes, so different from the cold, unflinching gaze he always possessed when he was still whole. "Don't cry, sister. All things must die someday, even those that never expect to die. My time has now come. My duty has ended. I know ask my king if he would release me from my oaths, so I can travel to the halls of Valhalla."

Thor's own face was tear-streaked, but his voice was strong. "I release you from your oaths, Gatekeeper. May you find the peace you are looking forward."

"Thank you." Heimdall whispered, his voice becoming fainter and fainter, before he tried to focus on Sif once more. "Watch the skies, little princess." he said, before his eyes closed for the first and last time in his life.

 They just sat there for a while, in complete silent but for the occasional sob, mouring the loss of their brother and friend. But unfortunately, the Norns had not given them the time to mourn him properly, because of the danger that threatened Yggdrasil itself.

"Loki had the Tesseract." Thor spoke up after a while, "which means that Thanos now holds the Tesseract."

"Yes." she said dully. "Whatever chance we had of survival is now pretty much gone. We can only wait."

"Wait for what?"

"For it to begin!"

"What to begin?"

She wasn't listening anymore, because all kinds of memories were flashing through her head. Sif as a kid, Sif when she met Loki, Sif when she fell in love with Loki, Sif when she was forced to betray Loki, Sif when she visited him in his cell,... Suddenly, out of the haze of all her memories, one word stood out above all others.

"Ragnarok."


End file.
